Brooklyn's Smallest Penis Pagent

Hi everyone! I present to you, my latest serious hard hitting journalism piece, "Brooklyn's Smallest Penis Pagent." I want to preface by saying I went to this with my four best/worst girlfriends, and we were drinking...heavily....the event dragged on forever...and we kept drinking Penis Coladas..and my voice got...let's just say a bit aggressive. I want to also explain that this event, that was in DEEP bushwick (obvi) was packed with drop dead sexy black men, which I found really hilarious. So please forgive my repetitive yelling of show us your dick.