Building a Loving Relationship with Ourselves with Troy L. Love

Troy L. Love is a two-time Amazon Best-Selling Author and has a third book, A Year of Self-Love, which was published in 2019. Troy shares why we feel such deep shame and dives into the six attachment wounds we carry around after a traumatic childhood. He also helps visualize these six attachment wounds through characters to help people in recovery better understand themselves and their journey.    TAKEAWAYS: [2:45] Troy shares his journey and why he is passionate about helping people with trauma.  [6:15] It took Troy roughly 10 years to feel grounded enough to move forward with his trauma and help other people.  [7:15] How is shame related to addiction. [10:15] Our shame is connected to our attachment wounds. There are six attachment wounds: Loss, Neglect, Rejection, Abandonment, Betrayal, and Abuse. [12:25] How does someone discover whether or not they have childhood trauma or not?  [15:45] Can we get over these childhood traumas?  [19:30] Narcissism can be cured.  [22:55] Our loudest voice is our own judgments.  [29:15] How can someone best recover from their own inadequacies when they have a partner at home who is very upset and hurt over the actions they have done?  [32:15] Darling, I know you suffer, but I am here for you.  [34:05] The use of compassion and empathy are the only ways out!  [36:20] There are places all over the world that can help you. Your location to get good care is no longer a barrier.    RESOURCES:  The Porn Panic: Is Porn a ‘Public Health Crisis’? Sex and Relationship Healing @RobWeissMSW Sex Addiction 101  Seeking Integrity Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men  Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency Connect with Troy: Website & A Year of Self Love by Troy L. Love   QUOTES: “Shame is the deep and abiding belief or experience that I am flawed and defective and therefore unworthy of love or belonging.” “I wasn’t acting out anymore, but man, I was still causing damage and it was fueled by the shame.” “Shame is anger turned inwards and when you stop being angry at yourself, you might start biting at people around you.” “As long as you can start doing the work and start to create some empathy and someplace, that creates space for your spouse to also begin to heal.”