Well, play, play podcast, play podcast. How's that? Let's go play podcast. That's me dusting off the home plate of the podcast with my little brush.
Oh, that's me dusting off my microphone so I could play podcast. That's me tossing the rosin bag in my hand so that my fingers are nice and sticky so that it can Google stuff faster. Well, then I can click my mouse louder. Welcome to King me presents.
King me out to the ball game. King me out to the ball game. King me production our mini series. King me presents.
King me out to the ball game. Like King me production. How about this? How about this?
Yeah, I see your. No, I'm taking your note. I know notes. I like it.
Go on. I was going to say King me presents King me out to the ball game. A King me pastime. Sure.
Perfect. It's pretty zippy. Right? Yeah, it's got the zip.
Rub done. All right. I mean listeners probably heard at the top of the show the crack of the bat, the roar of the crowds. Of course.
There's our mini series on baseball. America's past time you'd say. How can you not be romantic about baseball? That's the question we'll seek to answer here.
We are debunking baseball. We're debunking the romance of baseball. And honestly, fever pitch might get us there. Yeah, I was going to say we're not going to do it today because this movie is all romance, baby.
It's horny. It's horny as hell. It's horny as hell. I don't like I don't think you don't like when people are like I don't like when Ron Shelton's horny.
Ron Shelton wrote and directed this film. I'm sort of a personal experience situation. Yeah. Former minor league baseball player this Ron Shelton.
I don't think we talked about that. Oh, no. On the top episode. Come on, Eric.
Come on, Eric. Just Friday. Yeah. Yeah.
When we were when we were cobbing it up. Oh, remember that? Yeah. From the future.
Man, can't wait. Can't wait for everyone to learn about cob next week. Baseball. This is sort of a sort of a dance pick.
Sort of like an escalation from Rob having a birthday. Rob got to pick what he wanted. I was like, well, I get a whole month and then my birthday is the next time. And then I get my birthday pick.
No, these are. I'm excited to. This is our first in our baseball series, but I'm excited for these movies. We've recorded a couple of episodes.
We watched some even like, you know, we recorded the cob and fever pitch episode already, which neither one of those movies is really like, say good. You put them together. You got fever cob. What is this?
A still water song? Anyway, anyway, anyway. Yeah, I'm excited. I'm that movie also has Jimmy Fallon in it.
Go on. Well, this is crazy. It's crazy. It's crazy.
It's crazy. The planes about to crash. Oh my God. I'm excited about this too.
We, you know, we consider ourselves a genre film podcast, right? Right. We're always jumping around. Sports movie is genre.
And within that genre, a baseball movie is subgenre. Yeah. Yes. Yes.
Okay. So we can feel good about this. Yeah, I feel great about it. It's I do think it's like, you know, sports and movies, like there are like specific challenges to that.
And I think like baseball specifically is interesting in the sense that it was like such a cultural force for, I don't know, 80, 90, 100 years, maybe less. So you know, after like the 90s, probably. But like, yeah, I mean, much hay is made about this sport. And because it has such a long history, I think there's like you know, people, how can you not be romantic about it?
How can you not be romantic about baseball? Uh, and we should establish you're coming into this bit of a skeptic of the game. I think what people call soccer. It's what people call soccer and it's what I will be calling baseball.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm not skeptical. I understand it and whatever.
It's just sports in general. I've never, in my adult years, I've never really gotten into sports. Never been a sport. Oh, I don't really pay attention to it.
I find it like baseball seems. Um, okay. So, um, baseball is considered by many people to be boring to watch. Okay.
Which I also, I can't argue really that fact, but over that opinion, but also, um, people say Westerns are boring and I think I have aged into the decade. The boring stuff. Yeah. I'm like, I'm kind of aging into Westerns where I'm like, oh, I actually like this three hour meditation on, you know, masculinity and whatever else.
And, you know, point being is like, oh, maybe I'm, I feel like I'm right on the cusp of like getting into just like listening to baseball on the radio. Oh, nothing more pleasant in this world than just like letting that ride. Oh, man. Um, I mean, hey, every, you could argue that every baseball game is a three hour meditation on masculinity.
Every MLB game is a, I mean, do they broadcast the games on AM radio? So is that a thing? Not, I mean, here's a radio a thing. I bet you hear some stuff.
You probably hear like, is it like the like radio drone, right? Like just snuff audio. So is it just like public access radio at this point? Yeah.
It's going to be like test broadcasts, like the, like the nuclear countdown. It's like that's where it'll be broadcast. Yeah. I only have three people to know about it.
Yeah. Yeah. So I'll say baseball, like I've been to games. I like, I do like like minor league baseball.
There's a minor league team not far from where I live. And that to me is like kind of the most fun to me. Yes. One thing is that it's close to that's nice.
It's small, which I don't like I've been to Yankee Stadium and it's exciting and all that shit, but also the cathedral. It's a cathedral. It's a baseball. It's such a fucking pain.
Yeah. By the way, that stadium ugly as hell. Yeah. It's ugly as hell, but it's a pain in the ass.
It's such a pain to get to and then you're leaving. That's a pain. Honestly, cost a million dollars. That's true.
A million dollars. If I go to sit in the bleachers at Yankee Stadium, I'm going to spend at least $300 in during the day, like between just on cotton candy tickets and if somebody like spits a beer into my face, $300, please. Thank you. Minor League Baseball though.
And by the way, I've been to that same stadium you're talking about many times and it's the best. I love minor league baseball. The experience of going to a minor league game is so much better than going out of a major league game. It's like honestly not even close.
It feels, I don't know. It also it's so like it I know that these guys on the minor league team like this seems like a farm team for Philly. So like, you know, guys are, you know, they'll come drop down to the miners for like a few games while they're like injured or something. Yeah, well, they're rehabbing.
Yeah, whatever. They play them at like lower levels of competition. But a lot of these guys are like not going to make it to the majors at all. And like this is their thing.
And it's like, yeah, they kind of just love the game and they just want to play it. Like we we watched a money ball and there's a line that I keep thinking about is like, you know, one day somebody's going to tell you that you can't play the child's game anymore. Yeah, you know, and like a lot of these people like I get that aspect of it. Like all these people in this movie will Durham.
You got the Kevin Costner character who's like, I want to say 33 and treated like he is 65. Yeah. The way everybody's like, you know, look at this fucking old man, you know. Yeah, I mean, it's it's crazy.
Like even now like you hear people talking about like, I don't know, 25 year olds who like haven't gotten called up or whatever. And like, I don't know, he's pushing. He's pushing it is like by the time you're 33, they know how good you're going to be and you're only going to start getting worse. So yeah, but it's like you can still play, right?
Like crashes. He's sucking dingers the entire movie is jacking taters, as they say. And yeah, but it's just like you just play as long as you can. And I think including the moment, which like this is the nice thing about having a former player like writing, writing, directing the movie like that scene where he's not just where he's cut, but like where he's talking about it, right?
With Susan Sarandon. Yeah, man, that hits you hard. It really does really is tough. Yeah.
Yeah. So yeah, that's that's where I'm coming from with all of this baseball stuff. And again, like here's the other thing too, is that like I really like sports movies. I'm not big into sports, but sports movies are thrilling.
They're like sure you have a built in sort of ending to any of these movies is like, Oh, it's the big game. Like whether like watching like a I had this a few months ago, I had this intention to watch all the Rocky movies all the way through and I just watched the first one and like that was great and I did not continue. So I just started watching Rocky too, right? And I'm like, yeah, like I don't actually care about boxing all that much.
And that all and this is the other thing too is that like you watch Rocky or any, you know, any sports movie or something and it is thrilling. And then you go to watch like the actual sport and you're like, Oh, it's kind of thrilling. I guess like there's not like the built in sort of story. I didn't watch an hour and a half of like a story build up to to this fight, you know, or whatever.
Yeah. Also, I mean, like boxing especially and like boxing, first of all, focuses on like one person, which is like, I mean, that is very cinematic, but I feel like the experience of like watching boxing versus watching a boxing movie when you like real boxing, it's like, and this is his first fight back since the charges were dropped. It's like they're all lunatics in like a in a way that's not dramatized and unless you are locked in on it and like sort of just like on that wavelength, like the drama of it is kind of lost on you. Yeah, boxing is a weird one too because it's a sport that I feel like doesn't even like it.
I know that it does exist, but it's like whatever fucking Jake Paul is boxing. You know what I mean? Like there aren't like when I was a kid like Mike Tyson and Vanderholi feel like whatever. You say which Mike Tyson at the time, obviously like a lot of problems and shit like that, but like he was the guy at the time and yeah, like even like older guys like Ali and Foreman and shit like that like boxing was like a big sport.
Yeah. And then it's like fade away. And now it's like just UFC, which like that shit is not for me, man. I don't care how impressive like physically impressive it is.
No, thank you. Yeah, it's it's just a little too brutal for me. There's like, I know that there's there's so much training and skill that has to go into it, but to me it just looks like people just like right looks like a street fight. Yeah, I mean, it feels so like I would just through like two snakes into a pit to fight each other.
Like, you know, it's it's the most sort of like bloodthirsty situation. You know, you can see on TV right now. Yeah. Yeah, I don't think it's like a coincidence that there really aren't like UFC movies, right?
Yeah, there's like one with the rock coming out, right? Oh, there is that one with the rock. That's like early UFC stuff. Yeah.
It's like 90 stuff. That again, it's like a it's like the Blackberry of UFC. Yeah, where the rock plays like a 22 year old kid or something better to cast for it's we have a year old damn near 60 year old man. There's a movie warrior with Tom Hardy and that other guy.
I can't remember his name doesn't matter. Joel Anderson, which I remember being and Nick Nolte is into their like brothers and they have to fight whatever. It's fine. It's like whatever.
I'm really proud of us for neither of us going naughty voice. We got to keep moving. We got to keep moving. We don't have time for Nolte to drop by.
But yeah, all this again, straying off here sports movies. You got like a built in thing here. This movie, Bull Durham, the baseball is like secondary. The baseball is like a setting to tell a story about the people in this like, you know, around the field and like part of the team and then like an celery to the team.
The baseball itself is like silly, right? He's like closing his eyes and as he's pitching or whatever and every, literally every ball you see Kevin Costner hit is like a big, a big old dinger. Sure. It's a yeah, it's in service of something else.
Yeah. I'm going to start. I know I already saw your review down, which is fine, but I'm going to tell you this. I love this movie.
Yeah, I love it. I think it's a little bit of a quorum. I think it's so good. Well, I'm a little new quorum on it.
Stop. Yeah, I just think it's so sort of fun and it speaks like I love how Tom the Tim Robbins character is sure and like even like even the Kevin Costner character who seems like always he knows it all like he clearly does. And you know, and Susan Sarandon is I feel like I'm always saying this about the women in the movies that we watch, but hachi machi. Yeah, breaking news.
It was the actress gorgeous. Exactly. Did you know where the name of the movie came from? And I guess consequently the name of the baseball team.
I mean, obviously the name of the team is the dermels. Yeah, but I guess there was like an old tobacco company based in the city called Boldurum Tobacco. Okay. And it's just a reference to that.
So it's just like it's funny too, because it's like so snappy. It's like you're just like, yeah, this movie is called Boldurum. Yeah, I'm not going to think twice about it. Yes.
Except I did. Except I had to know. Yes. What's the other cigarette company?
I think they play this the other team like from another. It doesn't matter. Winston, I think maybe like, yeah, there's like a so I'm not too familiar with this, but there's like a Carolina league. Yes.
They play in like all the teams are based in the Carolinas, right? Which is like kind of just how it works generally, like the like the like the single a affiliate in Jersey, like they play teams from like Maryland and yeah, and what have you. There's one in like Yankee's team in North Jersey. I don't know.
But anyway, yeah, and I love the sort of like the carnival barker of it all. Right. Like yeah, even because this is set in the eighties, right? This is sent like contemporarily to when it comes out.
Yeah, but we got a fucking clown. We got to hit the hit the bowl when a steak thing, which by the way, I've seen in person, it's they keep it at the field. Oh hell. Yeah.
You didn't sit on it, I believe. Well, hit it hit ball and get a steak. I know it's off the side too far. Yeah, no, it's just like on the in the foul area.
Like on the field too many free steaks to make free steaks exactly. Oh, I'm gonna get him. I'm fucking right over the goals here. I mean, he's got a free steak.
We're ruined. We're only crash. We had to call you. We can't afford your salary of 10 stakes a week.
I think I'm all the way. Do you get something in home runs? So many dingers. Kevin Costner has crashed Davis.
I mean, this is like kind of peak cost for me. Like he goes on to do like dances with wolves and like whatever. And he's like a big movie star and shit. Dude, it's like a fucking study in this movie.
Oh, like I mean, it looks incredible. I'm not I'm not. I don't think I'm in on costner. Yeah, I don't quite.
I'm not quite on his wavelength. I don't think I think you have to be an old man like me and I am like 25 years older than you. So every year you get one additional year one decade older. Yeah.
All right. I don't know. I mean, I'm so on board for this fucking horizon American saga chapter. Whatever four chapters.
Come on. No, give me. Yeah, give me 12 hours of just people kind of moseying. I'm down with moseying.
I just don't really quite get him. Like what's his deal? What's his he's just like, he's kind of milk toasty to me. I mean, yeah, I guess so.
I mean, I can't really. He's not like I feel in this movie. I feel like he has even like maybe a bigger personality than most movies that I see him in. Yeah.
And this I feel like he actually will get to his little little speech there. This is what his talk. Yeah. All that.
What is. Oh shit, I've ever heard my life, but you know what he has, Dan? He's got a point of view. He does have a point of view.
That's this. Look, people will understand in a few days. Yes. The importance of having a point of view.
That's right. Now important it is. And how, you know, if you don't have one, what a fucking dope, you look like. You're no better than Robert wool who's also in this movie and is annoying is annoying, but this is the perfect amount of Robert wool for a movie.
Absolutely. This is this is like my wool max. My Leanne will max. My Bobby Walmex.
Yeah. Now this he's, you know, pops in, says like a line or two, you know, he's playing off of the head coach there, the manager. And that's it. Now, it's being a point of view.
Yeah. And speaking of Kevin Costner. Okay. I want to talk about what Kevin Costner believes.
Oh, we're getting into it already. Okay. I didn't even introduce who he believes it at. That's true.
Okay. There's all right. Put it in it. Put it in it.
I mean, we will get there. Don't worry. Sure. It's because there's something he says in here and then a role he goes on to play a couple of years later.
Then like, you hear this? I don't leave this. My house is being broken into. I mean, I'm being invaded.
Yeah. There's a man in a, in like a raccoon mask, a bandit mask, taking all my valuables. It's exact. Take my bird, please, honestly.
He's gotten so fucked up in his old age. His brain doesn't work anymore. Hey, just have the best of us. So.
What are you doing in there? Aren't you? You like pornos? You have Susan Saran, who plays Annie.
Annie is. Hi, I'm Annie. Yeah. That's how she talks.
It's kind of how she talks. She is a big fan of baseball in the opening voiceover. She talks about all the religions that she's explored. You know, Eastern religions, Western, all these things.
And the only thing she really believes in is baseball, right? And she, her thing is during the season, she, she like selects one player of promising talent. This Christ means what the fuck? Everybody's pets are bad.
What are we doing? We probably get a, we probably got like a group rate on euthanizing. It's great. Anyway, anyway, yeah, she's, she only believes in baseball.
Yeah. And she picks one player on the team and she focuses all of her energy and her chakras, chakras and vagina on that one player. And then that player ends up every time has ended up going to the majors. So she's kind of like a, she gives them guidance.
It's a bit of a guru that way. That, I mean, let's just say it. I was going to say some gross. I do it.
Gonna say just like something about pussy. So good. I got me playing Major League Baseball, something like that. Pussy.
So good. It got me to the show. Pussy. Pussy.
So good. I struck out Adrian Biltray. That was a gross. That was fine.
Yeah. I just don't like saying that. I don't like people knowing that I know that word. It's not right.
It's not right that you know it. So that's, that's Annie. And then we have Tim Robbins, who plays Eddie Calvin, Luke, Louch. Nuke is his confirmation name.
Nuke is like a young kid. He's a bit of a Charlie Sheen in Major League. He's a wild thing. He's not, he's not too much of a wild thing.
He like, well, he can't, he can't pitch. He can't. Yeah. He's got, he's got a raw talent, but he can't throw a strike to save his life.
Yeah. Well, yeah, I think they should say like half the time he's throwing, like, it's throwing heat and the other half of the time they're just wild pitches. Yeah. So got to, got to figure that out.
And he's just promising young kid and they, they expect him to, you know, if they can like teach him the game and like train and properly, they expect him to go to the majors, right? And then who else you got? I like that the coaches don't factor in at all. Like the coach, we don't hear about the coaches helping him.
No, not at all. That's really cool. You know what else do you like? I'm sure that there are other coaches on the, you know, involved in this, this team here, but the fact that it's like minor league.
Baseball is like, well, they might not have a lot of money and resources to hire a bunch of fucking people here. It's different now. Yeah. I think, well, it's probably more together than even then, than it, even then it's depicted, but it kind of reminds me of the way that like, like sometimes movies about kids, like you never see the parents really, like the parents don't factor it.
They don't factor it. Yeah. We don't need to know what they're up to. Yeah.
They don't do anything. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. You got Trey Wilson as Skip, the manager, I like his little, he's also Nathan, Arizona senior from raising. Arizona. Yes, he is.
He died in 1989, so one year after this movie. Wow. He's on a real hot streak toward the end there. He really was.
We said, Robert, well, of course, the only guy, like this guy, William O'Leary, plays Jimmy, who's like the sort of Christian guy here. Yeah. I think the only thing I know, else I know him from his hot shots. And Pete, dead meat Thompson.
That's it. Yeah. We call him dead meat because he will be dying. Yeah.
Yeah. I couldn't get over that, right? He's like a pitcher and he's like very religious and everyone treats him like he's weird. Something we also see, we'll see in like a couple weeks in Moneyball, right?
Yeah. Yeah. And it's just so funny to me knowing what we know now or like the state of the state of things, which is that everyone's like a prosperity gospel psychopath in baseball. Yeah.
So the movie, it opens with a game underway. Everybody's there. Well, actually it opens with. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
For like five minutes. It's like footage of baseball game being like black. Yeah. Yeah.
And a lady going, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Yeah. I thought I could skip over that part. Whoa, whoa.
It goes on for so long, man. Yeah, it does. And it's very, I like a guy just can't help. You can't not let you know.
He's like, I love this game. It's very like man. Oh man, this game matters. Yeah.
Do you think it does matter? Yeah, I guess in the way nothing matters, but of course it matters in the way that everything matters. Well, that's a thing, right? Yeah.
Of course it doesn't matter, but also it does. Yeah. I do think that is like the like part of what makes the sports movie work is that there's like an end to the frame. So like the whole world is just like this silly game for a little while.
Yeah. It just makes the stakes feel gigantic. And there's a blue beam being shot up into the sky or down from the sky. Like nobody is trying to stop a nuke from going off.
Well, they're trying to start a nuke from going on. That's well, yeah. So they're at the game and they're like, where was Abby? And they're looking for they're looking for this kid.
It's new guy. And Robert will goes into locker room and he's fucking. He's fucking some girl back there. You see Tim Robbins, Tush.
Yes. I think we we reference the references somewhere, but. Yeah, I mean, we see we see his Tush in this movie. We saw his dong and balls in the player.
So we're full 360 of right. Yeah, we can we can fully rotate and naked Tim Robbins in our mind. That's right. And this girl that that he's with is her name is Millie.
Millie. Yes. And Millie is like sort of she's friends with Annie and they she's not like this. Like Annie takes is very like serious and like is all very spiritual to her.
And Millie is more like I just kind of want to fuck baseball players. Right. Yeah, her. They established that her dad like invest in the team.
Yes. So she's because the managers like Millie, if I catch you down here, again, I'm going to have to kick you out and she's like, you can't do that. Yeah. I don't know how my father, the inventor of the free steak when you hit the bull would feel about that.
So but they are friends, Annie and Millie. And so like when Annie's like, there's a bit of like a protege thing that's established up top where Annie's like running her down the pregame checklist. Yes. She's like, got your this guy got your radar gun.
Yeah. Millie fires up the radar gun. Yeah. And we get underway, nuke new cops on the mound.
Yep. Annie, Annie pulls that trigger and clocks nuke at a hot. Was it like 96, 97 miles now? Something like that.
Yeah. Pretty good. Pretty good. But they're wild pitches.
They're all. Yes. Like not like tens of feet away from where they need to be. Yeah, not even close.
Yeah. And then so they're like, all right, well, he's got a cannon on me. Just needs to figure out how to fucking aim it. Yeah.
And Annie clocks right away with the issue is. Oh, yeah. Right. She writes a little note, you know, gets passed from like the bat boy.
Well, just some like child to the bat boy too. And it makes its way to nuke between innings and all of that stuff. I think it's fun too. The fact that Annie is Annie is so into she has so much invested in this team.
Yeah. And then like she knows like the bat boys and like everybody on the team already knows Annie and whatever else, right? And she's like, I'm going to write a note and then she has like kids essentially passing notes down to the players and coaches and shit. Yeah.
And it's like it's just so small time that like you believe it. Yeah. And she just hangs out. It's cool.
It's cool. And her note is just like bend your back. You're not following through enough or something like that. And yeah, he takes her note, has success.
Yes. I like his little post game interview to right or he's just like it's like totally freak totally. It's like totally awesome. And like he just sounds like a fucking.
A young adeufus. Yeah. This is where we meet Crash Davis. Also, he shows up and he's like.
Crash has been demoted from AAA. Yes. Or I don't know about demoted or like the he's been bull's bought out his contract. I think.
Yeah. And he's pissed, right? Because like AAA, if you don't know, is the step below the majors. Right.
And so for him, he's like hanging on to this dream. Yeah, he wants to play. He wants to play the child's game. Yes.
And so he's like pissed about this. He throws a little fit in the dugout. Eventually, he's just like, I do like how this is sort of like framed right where he's just like, as he's thinking, he's just like inching closer and closer to the to the camera for he has that moment where he's just like, you know what? Fuck this.
I'm out of here and he leaves. Yes. And they just the coach and the manager just kind of sit there for a second and then he pops his head back and he says, who we play tomorrow? Yes.
Yeah. Yeah. And they give Crash the assignment of teaching this kid like got lending guidance and like, you know, teaching this kid how to how to control his pitches and ship. Right.
How to become an actual ballplayer. That night, the whole team, they'll go out to this bar. This is where we see like everybody's hanging out. Annie is sitting with the clown guy, right?
Yeah, the real guy. The real guy who's like, he wears like a big like oversized baseball uniform at the thing. He does like a funny dance. This is Max Patkin, the clown Prince of baseball.
The clown Prince of baseball. Yeah. In lieu of like a mascot costume, which they do also have actually got that ball. Kind of looks like Jimmy Durante, like an old timey.
Yeah. He looks like a like a cartoon of like a drunk. Yes. Yes.
And Crash sends over a drink and gets, you know, gets invited over to their table, comes over and there he crashes talking to Annie and you know, he's whatever. She's like, do you want to dance? He's like, I don't dance, which is something that comes up later, but then we see new movies we watch. Not a dancing.
Well, now just Eddie. We see Eddie out on the dance floor and he is dancing with like six women. He's like in the middle and he's sort of like swinging one around and then grabs another and twirls her and then does like a move on. He does like flip a lady over completely, which like, would you trust a stranger to do that at a bar?
If you're fucking hammered. I guess. I guess it seems to be a proper country where you could just get tossed around at your wall. He does flip a lady house.
He's just flip a lady or be a lady and get flipped. That's right. This is because this does happen again. The proper country man.
This happens in next week's movie too, right? What a lady gets flipped. Yeah. A league of their own.
Does it look like Madonna get flipped at the roadhouse? Yeah. Yeah. I just watched that last night.
That one I really liked. I fucking love that one. I'm pretty high on that one. Good.
So yeah, and Annie and and Ebby, they make eye contact and Ebby comes over and he's like, Hey, would you like to dance? And then crash dance up. He's like, actually, we were just about to dance and then like, Ebby, I love when Tim Robbins gets mad. He like immediately gets like puffs his chest.
I was like, all right. What you want to step outside? You want to step outside? Like he says it on the bus too, which is very flat to me on a moving bus.
And yeah, she the two of them go outside. She's like, are you two going to fight over me? And they do little old man. Oh, me.
And they go outside and like the entire team. So crash didn't play the game tonight, right? He was just he's there and whatever he's going to be playing tomorrow. He's a catcher, by the way.
I don't know if we said that. But so the whole team is there and they're kind of on Ebby's side here and. You know, they're they're squaring up at whatever it is and crash like, all right, man, throw the first punch. He's like, no way, man.
I don't hit anybody first. He's like, OK, and then crash reaches into his pocket and takes out a baseball because he just walks around the baseball. And time he got it. Yeah.
And he said, all right, here you take this hit me square in the chest with it and he's like, I'll fucking kill you, man. And he's like, and he says something to him like, I don't think you could hit the broad side of a barn with that. I was like, yeah, he's like, what from what I hear, you couldn't you wouldn't hit water if you fell out of a fucking boat. That's a good line.
I like that line. I do. I also like his line where he's like, because I, you know, you got a million dollar. I hear you got a million dollar arm, but I got a pretty good idea about that five cent head.
Pretty good zingers here. Yeah. I'm on Shelton. I think Shelton's throwing heat here.
We like we watched Cobb and neither one of us really like Cobb. I think that would suck shit. Yeah. I think that movie is bad besides the topic matter.
I think the movie just in general is just not very good and not really well written. This movie on the other hand, I think, is really tight as far as like the dialogue is pretty sharp and shit like that. You're like, oh man, that's a fucking. You couldn't hit water if you fell out of a fucking boat is solid line.
Yeah. Yeah. It's but then it's like everyone's like cheering them on. They're like, Ron, Ron, Ron.
He's like, oh, OK. And I like soft wet kisses. I don't know. Yeah.
All right. I should probably be heading out. So I mean, throws the balls hard as I can and he misses crash into any breaks up window behind them and everybody's like, ah, and he's like, uh, says something. It crashes up into him and everybody gets pissed.
They're like runs up like he's going to hit him and then crash hits him in the face punches him in the eye. Knocks him into the garbage. He's like, oh, it's a good punch. He picks him off and he's like, you know, crash Davis on your catcher.
And he's like, all right. And he stands up like, you know, every like turns to a different guy. He's like, he's my catcher. They go inside, how about and see that Annie is dancing with that clown Prince of baseball guy and.
And so every. He's got, you know, he's hanging. Oh, this guy's got a fucking horse. I'm absolutely disgusting.
Disgusting the way he is. It's disgusting. How big is that? I find it offensive.
The crash and and I believe in I believe in soft wet kisses and long clown cog. Sorry. No, and whatever there's in there and then and then Annie comes over and she's like, well, um, which she says like, um, she comes over the table and she's like, well, come on. Yeah.
I'm like, yeah, she says, like, let's get out of here. Yeah. Which one of us is like, well, isn't it obvious? Why it's both of you, both of you and I like it.
Like, hello, I'm liberated. Yes. But I feel like both of these guys are just like, I got to see where this goes. You know, like, um, so they get back to Annie's and Annie, like sort of lays down the rules here.
She's like, every season, epic one guy, yada, yada, and this is like some sort of interviewing process that she is conducting right now. And then crash stands up. He's like, listen, I don't try out for anybody and you know, um, uh, whatever. I'm getting out of here.
Yeah. And she's like, play with them. And she's like, I believe in auditioning or whatever. Yeah.
And then, uh, you're going to read the whole thing? Yeah. I think we should talk about it because it's really. Yeah.
It's, um, yeah. I mean, it starts with him being like, why do you get to choose? Why isn't, you know, he gets to choose? Why don't I get to choose?
And then she goes in on this whole thing about like nobody ever chooses anything. It's all just like chance and quantum, you know, quantum coincidence or whatever. Um, and I do like a nuke is just like, so is somebody going to go to bed with somebody? Yeah.
What do we get? And that's how he gets his nickname because she says, honey, you are a regular nuclear meltdown. That's right. Nuke.
Nuke. Anyway. Yeah. Crash says, uh, he doesn't believe in quantum physics when it comes to matters of the heart.
It's not where off to a bad start. And Annie tees him up and says, what do you believe in them? And he says, well, I believe in the soul, the cock, the pussy, the small of a woman's back, the hanging curveball, high fiber, good scotch that the novels of Susan Santag or self-enulgent, okay, Susan Santag, catch and stray is here that there's a self-enulgent overrated crap. I believe that Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone.
I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing AstroTurf and the designated hair. I kind of agree on AstroTurf. I'm not sold on designated hair. I believe that the sweet spot, I believe in the sweet spot, soft core pornography, opening your presence on Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve.
And I believe in long, slow, deep, wet, soft, wet, slow, wet stinky kisses that last three days. And she's just like, sopping wet over this. Yeah. She's like, oh my, oh my, he does not care for me.