BW 009: Surviving the Holidays While Grieving - a Panel Discussion

The holidays can be a brutal time for people who are grieving. Even songs like “All I Want for Christmas is You” and “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” feel different when you’re missing your person. Today, our panel of guests discuss tips for surviving the holidays, ways to honor your loved one during the holidays, and alternative ideas for skipping them altogether. You’ll also hear our take on whether grief gets easier or harder (or something else) after year one. Our speakers (Bio’s below): Suzanne Elvidge https://www.thewidowshandbook.com/ Twitter: @HandbookWidows Dr. Clark Roush Twitter: @DrClarkRoush Keri and Brittany Young - GriefBox https://grief-box.com/ Instagram: @shopgriefbox TikTok: @griefbox Tips for surviving the holidays: Lean into the pain Light a candle and tell stories/memories Find a purpose in the pain Pain is a non-negotiable Change the tradition Announce your holiday intentions early and clearly Treat yourself to something or make a donation Give yourself grace Ways to honor your loved one during the holidays: Hang their stocking Listen to a playlist of their favorite songs Eat their favorite foods GriefBox place setting - a way to keep your loved one at the table Write memories in or on Christmas ornaments Table runner or tablecloth with pictures Scavenger hunt to find memories hidden around the house Holiday alternative ideas: If you want to ignore Christmas completely, you can! Watch your favorite movies Binge on box sets Switch off the radio, tv, and social media Go for a walk Do what speaks to you Tips for going out: Take something of theirs with you Have an anchor or touchstone Arrive early so you’re not walking into a room full of people Scope out the place and find your path to escape if you need a few minutes to yourself Notable quotes: Suzanne Elvidge- “So you're grieving who you were together, you're grieving who you are now and you're grieving what you would've done together.” “I'm not the me I was before and I'm happy with who I am.” “You're allowed to say no to stuff. You're allowed to say yes to stuff and change your mind later. You're allowed to say no to stuff and then go, actually, can I, would you mind if I can…” Dr. Clark Roush- “Our journey is different… it is not a competition.” “Tears know who they can trust.” Keri - GriefBox “...we just wanted him there at the table and he was.” ______________________________________________________________________________________ Guest Bio’s Suzanne Elvidge I'm a freelance medical writer, and I also write fiction and the blog The Widow's Handbook. Tim died suddenly in February 2018 from type 2 diabetes complications. Dr. Clark Roush Dr. Clark Roush is in his 37th year as conductor of University Singers. He is the endowed chair for the performing arts and chairs the Music Department at York University. He is frequently contracted as a guest conductor and is slated to conduct in Carnegie Hall in March of 2024. He was married to Sue, a.k.a "The Queen", for 38+ years. She died in January 2020 from pancreatic cancer. They have two sons, both of whom are married, and the youngest has given me two granddaughters, so my proudest claim to fame now is "Papa." I will always be 'minus one' and continue learning to thrive as a single man. I creatively wrote my way through the first 2 years of my grief journey and am currently trying to get them published for whatever benefit they might hold for others. Keri and Brittany Young - GriefBox We’re Keri and Brittany, a mother-daughter team dedicated to helping others through their grieving process. When we lost Jacob, our beloved son, and brother, in a tragic motorcycle accident at the age of 22, we found ourselves face-to-face with the ugly reality of grief. We know firsthand how difficult and lonely the grieving process can be. We also know how hard it is for our close friends and family to know what to do or say in an attempt to comfort us. That’s why we created GriefBox care packages. As the holidays approach, we’re nervous about celebrating our first Thanksgiving without Jacob. This year, we handmade a place setting for Jacob, to honor his memory. We believe that although he may be physically gone, he still deserves a place at the table. We made a few extra place settings for families with an empty seat at their holiday celebrations this year. They can be found online on our website https://grief-box.com/ and GriefBox Etsy store: https://www.etsy.com/shop/GriefBox?ref=simple-shop-header-name&listing_id=1318296244. The Brave Widow Community is a place where you can connect with other widows, find hope and healing, and begin to dream again for the future. Learn more at bravewidow.com. Hey guys, I’m Emily Jones I was widowed at age 37, one month shy of our 20 year wedding anniversary. Nathan and I have four beautiful children together. My world was turned completely upside down when I lost him. With faith, community, and wisdom from others, I’ve been able to find hope, joy, and dream again for the future. I want to help others do the same, too! FOLLOW me on SOCIAL: Twitter @brave_widow Instagram @brave_widow Facebook https://www.facebook.com/bravewidow YouTube @bravewidow