BW 185: Am I Doing Grief Right? | The 4 Seasons Of Grief & How To Know You’re Really Healing

Are you afraid you’re “doing grief wrong”? In this episode, Emily breaks down the 4 Seasons of Grief and how to know if you’re actually healing or just staying busy. Take the free 4 Seasons of Grief Quiz here: https://bravewidow.com/quiz     In this episode of the Brave Widow Show, Emily answers a question so many widows ask in different ways: “Have I really done the work of grieving, or am I just pushing it down and keeping myself busy?” You’ll learn: Why there is no one “right” way to grieve, and what actually makes grief work helpful or harmful The 4 Seasons of Grief (Rawness, Isolation, Self-Discovery, Empowerment) and what each season looks like day-to-day How shoving emotions down can show up later in your body as pain, illness, or accidents The difference between staying busy to avoid grief vs. taking baby steps to build a new life How to carve out simple, intentional “grief time” even when you’re providing for a family and leading at work Why it’s normal not to have all your big life decisions (house, remarriage, future plans) figured out yet How to stabilize, explore, and then build a life you can actually love again with your person’s memory honored, not erased   Next steps: 🎯 Find your season of grief (free quiz): https://bravewidow.com/quiz 📅 Join the live “4 Seasons of Grief” webinar (Feb 17): https://bravewidow.com/live 🤍 Explore Brave Widow Academy and coaching: https://bravewidow.com/academy If you feel like “a shell of yourself,” lonely, or stuck walking in place, you’re not broken and you’re not alone. There is a gentle, faith-based path forward, one small step at a time.   Chapters 0:00 – Are you “doing grief right”? 1:00 – Listener question: “Have I really done the work of grieving?” 3:05 – The fear of doing grief wrong (and what others think) 5:10 – Why time alone does NOT heal grief 7:00 – What it means to “do the work” of grieving 9:05 – Grief needs a witness: why talking matters 11:00 – The 4 Seasons of Grief (R.I.S.E. overview) 13:20 – Season 1: Rawness & survival mode 16:00 – Stabilize: the Chaos to Calm Blueprint 18:30 – Season 2: Isolation & feeling like a “shell” 21:00 – Holding “and”: grieving AND feeling moments of joy 23:40 – Seasons 2–3: Scheduling grief vs. staying busy 27:10 – Season 4: Empowerment & building a new life 29:30 – Are you busy to avoid grief… or to build a future? 32:00 – Overachievers, martyrs, and burning yourself out 35:00 – 3-step path: Stabilize, Explore, Build 37:00 – Free 4 Seasons of Grief Quiz & live webinar invite     🌱 READY FOR DEEPER SUPPORT? If you’re tired of feeling lost, lonely, and second‑guessing every decision, Brave Widow Academy is a 6‑month, faith‑based coaching program to help you rebuild a life you can love again.   Learn more: https://bravewidow.com/academy Book a free no‑pressure consult: https://bravewidow.com/call   💬 If this episode helped you, please:  Hit Subscribe  Leave a quick rating & review – it helps more widows find this support Share this with a friend who’s facing grief or the holidays without their person     If you’re new here, my name is Emily Tanner. I’m the founder of Brave Widow and Brave Widow Academy.   I help widows move from barely surviving their loss… to rebuilding a life they can actually love again without feeling like they’re betraying their person.   By day (and for 20+ years), I’ve led large teams and complex operations in the corporate world.    After my husband Nathan died in 2021, just shy of our 20-year anniversary, I took everything I knew about leadership, systems, and change — and started applying it to grief.   Since then, I’ve: Shared my story publicly to make widows feel less alone. Launched the Brave Widow podcast, now with 180+ episodes and listeners around the world. Coached hundreds of widows 1:1 and in groups, and talked with thousands more through the podcast, communities, and events. Built Brave Widow Academy, a 6-month coaching program with a clear framework for moving from deep grief to rebuilding a life you can love again.   I don’t teach “just think positive” grief tips.   I teach widows how to: Heal their heart. Stop waiting on “time” to fix everything. Take small, brave steps toward a life that feels meaningful again.   How I Got Here…   2021: My husband Nathan dies unexpectedly. I’m 4 kids in, overwhelmed, and drowning in paperwork, decisions, and pain. Therapy helps, but I still feel stuck with no roadmap.   2021–2022: I start devouring books, interviewing widows, trying grief groups, and studying coaching — desperate to find something that actually helps me feel different.   2022: I start the Brave Widow podcast, recording episodes while terrified and crying between takes — but determined that no widow should feel as alone as I did.   Year 1: I begin coaching widows 1:1. Word spreads quietly. The same patterns and problems keep showing up, so I start building frameworks instead of one-off advice.   Year 2: I launch Brave Widow Academy — a structured, 6-month coaching program with a step-by-step path: from deep grief, to stability, to rebuilding.   Year 3: Brave Widow has listeners around the world. I’ve personally coached hundreds of widows and spoken with thousands more through consults, lives, emails, and DMs.    Today: My work is simple:   Help widows stop white-knuckling their way through each day… and start rebuilding a life that makes them genuinely glad to be alive again.   You don’t have to do it alone. 💜