Call It What It Is: Control is Abuse, Not Love

Thoughts or comments? Send us a text!Control rarely arrives kicking down the door—it slips in dressed as care. That’s the thread we pull with author and advocate Amanda Scott, whose 17-year marriage looked stable from the outside but ran on a quiet currency of emotional and financial abuse. We explore how intense attention, constant check-ins, and money “help” can be early signals of coercive control, and why fairy-tale scripts about rescue and romance make it harder to recognize red flags like love-bombing, isolation, and gaslighting.Amanda shares the pivotal moment that cracked the façade—a phone lit with twelve missed calls and a feeling she could no longer ignore—and the forty-three days that followed as she rebuilt her life step by step. We go deep on financial abuse: withheld funds, coerced signatures, unauthorized debts, and the misuse of power of attorney that trap victims and block the exit. You’ll hear practical guidance on safety planning, from go-bags and code words to secure documents, discreet accounts, and trauma-informed support. We also talk about the role of friends as lifelines: how to keep the door open, offer help without control, and become the steady presence a survivor can lean on.At the heart of this conversation is a redefinition of love and worth. Real love respects time and autonomy; it doesn’t require you to get smaller to keep the peace. If you feel small, silenced, controlled, or afraid, that is enough to call it what it is and begin again. We’re here to remind you that freedom is possible, self-respect is a practice, and community is the bridge between the two.If this resonates, follow the show, share it with someone who needs to hear it, and leave a review to help more people find these resources. Your support might be the nudge that opens a door for someone else.You can find Amanda HERE.Support the showBUY ME A COFFEE or SUPPORT ALFIE'S TREAT STASHLearn more about my book, Nature Knows: Grow and Thrive through the Wisdom of Plants HERE.Comments about this episode? Suggestions for a future episode? Email me directly at [email protected]. Want to be a guest on No Shrinking Violets Podcast for Women? Send Mary Rothwell a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/noshrinkingvioletsFollow me on Facebook and Instagram, and check out my website!