Cam Girl STD Confessions, Human Washing Machines & MAGA Cock Trainers

On Today’s Show🎵 DV Store Holiday JingleMusical intro promoting the updated DV store: hoodies, mugs, and an anime pillow you can defile in comfort.Reminder: it’s “the first place to always find some dumb stupid shit.”🍫 Ferrero Rocher Butt PornTim talks about “innovative” porn that can’t make it on the show thanks to bad audio.Highlight: a guy shoving a Ferrero Rocher up his ass, shitting it out, and eating it while it melts but stays “crunchy.”🇺🇸🍆 MAGA Republican Cock TrainerHypnotic bait clip aimed at “Republican cock”: close-ups of dicks over rants about red pills, white supremacy, and violent fantasies.Includes a surprise scat twist (“bait and shit”) and patriotic butt talk about needing “Aryan cum” in a pristine alabaster shithole.Tim notes racist rhetoric is somehow weirder—but faintly more palatable—when attached to big floppy junk.🦠 Cam Whore Venereal Show & TellMain feature: a cam girl turns her OnlyFans into a live STD seminar.Raps about a dude who “messed her up,” admits to multiple recent partners, and complains about burning when she pees.Peppermint gum “home remedy”: stuffs Extra gum inside and around her labia to cool the burn; instead creates a brutal yeast infection.On cam, she shows swollen lips, cottage-cheese discharge, genital warts, and uses a flashlight for maximum trauma.Tim points out that if your pussy is your livelihood, maybe don’t turn it into a yeast-infection lecture for paying customers.🛒 Creepy Gas Station Pickup AttemptClip of an obviously unstable guy repeatedly telling a woman “let’s go fuck,” insisting she can call the cops after.Calls himself “the baddest motherfucker in the whole multiverse.”Tim riffs on how women have to be on constant alert while dudes breeze through life oblivious.Jokes that he’d “take one for the team” and finish the guy off in the bathroom to keep him away from women.🍅🧠 VRChat Tomato Allergy & Stress SeizureProximity Chat returns to VRChat, pelting a player who claims “phantom sense” and a severe tomato allergy.Friends explain her brain remembers the touch/taste of tomatoes and can trigger swelling and seizures.Virtual tomatoes cause her to meltdown, scream, and have a “seizure” while everyone panics in a fake-vegetable crisis.Proximity recruits others to throw tomatoes, gets people banned, then reveals himself and is immediately banned again.Tim plugs Proximity’s new video and promises a link in the show notes.💾 Sideshow SaleCyber Monday: 33% off monthly, yearly, and lifetime memberships.Monthly: $6Yearly: $60Lifetime: $300Sign up at DistortedView.com to unlock:All weekly Sideshow-exclusive shows.The full ~5,000-episode archive from the very beginning.💳 Other Ways to SupportPatreon: Patreon.com/distortedview – $5+ gets you access to the special voicemail line.Episode Sponsorships: $25 via PayPal ([email protected] or paypal.me/distortedview) to plug something, force a clip, or send a message to a loved/hated one.📲 Text & VoicemailNew text line: 4HAIRYCUNT (or old faithful 206-666-4463).Listeners ask for more timestamps; Tim explains why they vanished earlier in the year and promises more episodes will have them again