Camila Cabello

Welcome welcome welcome welcome to armchair expert. I'm Dan rather I'm joined by Monica Pousst. Hi. That's your French name Oh, I want to be friends people don't know if they should call you Pousst or Pousst Monica Pousst Is it my poost or my co-pouse?

I and I'll be very French about it, and I'll be very snobby. You won't answer right? Let's go like mm. Oh, we like it though.

We love the French. Yeah, I love the French. I know I love them. Yeah, so charming that they hate us Today we have a mega star on Camila Cabello.

This was a party so delightful Camila loves armchair expert So flattering. Oh, it makes it so much more fun interviewing people who know all the background inside jokes and everything Yes, Akamela is a Grammy nominated singer and songwriter her albums include Camila romance familia and her new album C X O X O is out June 28th, but people will already be partying to I love it. I love it. I love it I love it and people might have heard from fact check.

Yes. We didn't Easter egg Yeah, my daughters have for whatever reason forbade me to listen to that song I I cut off apparently in their eyes is somewhere before 49. What would I say that north of South? I think south of I think you're going south right?

You're going down like the downhill So I'm gonna say they've decided you have to be north of 49 I don't know what that actual cutoff is but for them. I was too old to love I love it. I love it Do you think maybe they like had a make out to the song and so the fact that you're singing it is it's too much? I don't think so, but but that could happen in a few years.

Yeah Yeah, gross. This is my like make out song with my dad singing it Now that I'm realizing the my boyfriend looks like my dad grows. Why do we do this? Please enjoy our new friend Camila Cabello Please exceed my four minute Oh my God.

No, I'm not worried. Hi. Hi there. Welcome.

It's all good to meet you guys. I'm such a huge fan No, no, I tell you not possible. My mom's like you excited? I don't Liz all the time.

Yes I can't believe you because Liz their friends. Yes. Yes, but you didn't bring your mom to this you brought her to call her daddy. Okay Well, I'm sure that's our fault.

I'm sure we said oh yeah Mom's can make vulnerable conversations difficult to be honest and I'm not just saying this not my mom Mom is very cool. Not the same one right nice. I would not want my mom in here I wouldn't want my dad to hear most things Guys you have no I when I tell you tell us we love hearing it I know the history of the chair and you just sweat in the other one still sweating this one right But you can't see it. Maybe I'll tell us something about us.

We don't even know about our oh my god I can't wait. Oh, yeah, I mean I don't know I only know from what I've heard on the episodes What do you hold because you were holding something in the other interview? I just watched a video and I thought it was a vape, but it seems to be a little moisturizer Yeah, it's just some aquaphor. I think I just like holding thing Yeah, if you saw my car daddy one that was my first interview that I've done in so long.

I was so fucking nervous Yeah, for this one. I'm so excited because I know the best friend's name Right, I know all about it first of all you're so stunning. It's kind of overwhelming Yeah, why didn't expect you to be so like jacked wait Can we stop and pause we have to stop and pause okay because Dax says that no women notice that and you just proved me a hundred percent Correct and if you don't say that was that but I'm saying it like you know how bros will be like bro You're so jacked right in a row exactly in the fact that I'm 60 years older than you 100% I'm literally saying that's you as a gentleman there Yeah, but that's what I'm saying and not even in a sexual way or a romantic way He's just as women don't notice it and they obviously do and I say they do and he's just never want to Because I listen to the podcast so much, you know how you put a face or a physicality to a voice And then when I met you guys I was like whoa, this is like the real thing You know yeah 3d totally cuz features get really blurry on well I don't think I don't feel very photogenic. I used to be when I was one when you were baby But then most photogenic baby of all time super cute.

How cute is that baby really so cute? And I felt like such a creep because I recognize that it was baby you And I was like, is that baby Monica? Like I'm literally president of the fan club. I'm not actually you know, I'm not gonna say it's gonna sound like I'm fishing I was gonna say I actually don't feel like I'm not photogenic either.

Oh, okay, and you're afraid people like get over yourself You're fucking beautiful right look, but I'll think they're true I know one side of my face looks fucking crazy There's one side of my face where I literally look like a different person and one side of my face where I'm like wow I'm like supermodel same So I'm curious Kristen and I kind of remain in heaven because she has that side and I have that side and when we stand next to each other It's always the correct side perfect you and I could be bros I would always have to stand on your right like if we were looking out that way I would always be on your right you'd be on my left and we'd be golden so wait so you think like stand up so we Wow how cute Like a prom picture yeah because we have the same good side which happens and you get creative Or you just embrace the bad side and you're like I promise you I'm cuter than this is me okay now super self-indulgent But I feel like it'll be informative when did you start listening and who turned you on to because I want to say you were dating Sean when we interviewed him yes, I was okay I remember we were both such huge fans of the show and he was so nervous young show and I was like I don't feel like I was even ready to be on the show until this point in my life I was just like just too excited But I think I've been a pretty long time was there a guess that got you to check it out for some reason the David Sedaris episodes are really Because you guys have like four with him. Yeah, he's our return. Yeah. Yeah, they've said he has returns But I can't remember I listen to a lot of the actors that are on the show and David Sedaris Okay, now why were you nervous to be on call her daddy?

Just because they have been a long time since you were interviewed Yeah, it'd been a long time and I was like fuck anything that I haven't talked about it's all gonna come up in this one interview Yeah, did anything naughty come up that you were like yeah I feel like I was okay like I knew the Sean stuff was gonna come out I knew the group stuff was gonna I love that I'm just bullet pointed. Yeah, I really overcome my fear Yeah, I was like right all the things I was trying to talk to you for years Yeah, I just had forgotten how to be public. Yeah for a bit What were you doing I was writing and I was working but I had just stopped going out I just stopped being a public facing personality and it was a conscious decision, right? Yeah, I was a conscious decision I think I just needed to do it for my mental health.

Yeah, yeah Now when I'm talking about it with my therapist and stuff, it's really healthy to be who you are out loud and who cares Well, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Oh, you guys The thing that I we just had a guest on that I was bonding with over Tiffany had it It'll be up with them. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I think the thing she and I both had the feels and maybe have a touch of it It's a powered thing for me. It's a control thing like I'm not gonna let you shame me so I'm gonna be right out in front I'm just gonna go like yeah, here it is and I'm not ashamed of it That is the power move. I'm not giving you the power to whisper and oh she doesn't want to you know it feels way more empowering This is extremely timely.

I probably shouldn't say it, but I'm gonna use a gossipy Yeah, well, no, it's not gossipy, but I love some hot dogs for sure So right before I got here I got some information about previous guest whose publicist has reached out So there's all these articles about this person that are ridiculous so ridiculous meaning frivolous. It's Maya. Yes Oh, so it's excerpts from the episode that she did I don't know what they're saying there's something happening I guess where they're calling her a nephobebe and they're referring to this episode But there's no reference of nephobebe there's nothing but also I feel like it's also kind of a neutral phrase If you are in a baby, why does it matter then you just are let's add nepotism cannot get you on to Saturday night live Yeah, what the fuck are we talking about? Nepotism is like the dumb dumb son running the fortune fight It's not literally the obvious talent that my rudel Yes, yeah, so I don't know what they're saying because I haven't looked but it is so annoying that someone decided to grab on something You can't control other people's stupidity and their moods and how they fucking want to react to you and don't give them the credit now I'm 27 and I think I'm finally really letting go of what people think of me as just none of my business I can only control being me and like you said if you're up front about all of your shit Then it's like well, you can't say it to me first It's so hard to get there when you have started really young in the industry I still I'm like how much should a person be triggered by when I see something that hurts my feelings on the internet I don't know if the amount that I get triggered is normal so I just delete the shit I can't it is hard to know right I'm writing about my childhood right now I'm a mora book.

I am so exciting I'm describing why I had to read out loud and I was stuttering and fucking choridine and making all these weird noises trying to sound out shit And I could see my face of freckles. There's too many and it just like a cloud of fart gas There's like yellow freckles gas on my face You did like a reading I'm talking about the experience of being in class with this like seeing the colony to read Oh, yeah, you're fucking the whole thing up There's not only that I can like see my face fucking it all up And then I'm describing my freckles and my crooked teeth and my huge overbite But I mean I don't know how that was relative to everyone else's experience I feel like I trend really self-conscious like above normal self-consciousness like even before you in the public eye Yes, I guess it can I felt searing self-consciousness Yes, it fucked me up, but then I'm also probably like no, it's probably standard everyone We all probably are like panicked half the time I think especially if you're sensitive I find that my favorite people a lot of the times for some reason have some anxiety because it makes them really empathetic and sensitive Yeah, people that are just like I don't care in the laws they about everything are more likely to be dicks sometimes Aloof Monica and I had this little it wasn't a riff but she was using an emoji just for a few weeks I think she was trying to It was a emoji with a girl like when I went to she like hundred like if she like whatever after like 20 of these I don't like it feels aloof like you're over everything It hurt his feelings. Yeah, the emoji's like I don't really want to interact with so much like a panic emoji Yeah, it's kind of weird. It's kind of like you want me to have a little.

I'm kidding. Yeah, I just don't want you to be over everything like Yeah, that's how sensitive I am that an emoji super sensitive Yeah, it's funny though because it depends on what you're pretty rapid fire I was getting oh Well, I had to test out all the iterations of it. Are we meeting at 12? Okay, I was gonna ask this question at the very end But you just said it and I'm curious if you had to choose you were all powerful Would you have started your career when you did or would you start the full ride you took at this age?

You're 27 in one year from now is when I started my journey You were a full person what are you making like you already post you're like seem to be emotionally and spiritually where I was at Maybe 39 which is kind of cool, but then I don't know what are your thoughts I don't think I would have changed when I started because so many parts of my personality today are because of the tools and the skills and some Adaptive and some maladaptive like that were maladaptive mechanisms that I had to develop to survive and drive I'm really into like Buddhism that would have never happened because I needed those tools being on stage and being calm and being able to Pull through but also it just carries over to other life stuff where I feel like I'm wiser than I would have been Yeah, I don't know how you enter into this Huge arousal cycle at like 15 or it's like heightened heightened heightened dopamine my nervous system is definitely oh my god Right poor baby in my much more minimal experiences than you've had it is a very heightened experience Yeah, and then you get into this I think dopamine deficit cycle when those highs are gone in normal life resumes It could feel very low. I mean to me it would be so obvious you discovered Buddhism because I got to regulate in some way Right or the amount of self-growth podcasts like armchair expert that I listen to Adaptive but I listen to a lot of stuff where maybe other people my age weren't listening to that you grew up fast I grew up fast, but then there's been times for example COVID I learned how to drive and I learned how to cook and I was just living the most normal life I don't want anything salacious to come out of this but also you're like fucking do I Was born here obviously then she was born here and she is living all the reckless teenage hood that I didn't I still feel like do I feel jealous there were times where I feel like I had bad COVID I feel like I was just going through a rough time my OCD was so bad and I felt like my sister was having the best time I was like the fact that I'm jealous of like 15 year old right now is crazy But I did miss I'm always looking for that carefreeness and that return to childhood in a way well Let's start at the beginning okay because it's fun and unique Let's start with your dad because I want to know what's happening where a man from Mexico city decides to immigrate to Cuba My mom immigrated to Mexico that makes me yeah when she was in her maybe early 20s She was kind of let down by the revolution my grandparents were a part of it And then there started to be the power outages and the lack of food and that's when she realized Oh, this is not the promise that they sold us and so her and her cousin went to Mexico And I have one fun thing right there Yeah, I went to Cuba right when you were allowed to Chris and was shooting there and I took the babies there and we had this amazing I guess maybe like a fixer She was like 27 year old girl really fucking brilliant grew up there spent her whole life there and she's explaining after the revolution They assigned people housing that was the housing or building more housing so then you just inherited your housing So it's like if you're great grandparents got a shitty apartment That's it for the bloodline right people got that really nice house. That's what they got it's so fascinating trying to comprehend a world It's like now this is the family house. That's the only I'm gonna be curious how hard you work or how smart you are or how high up you get There is a feeling that's how that's the car everybody gets I can't remember what it was But it's maybe like four eggs per month or something like that There's rations and so in the beginning people started off being like wow there's health care for everybody and nobody gets left behind No, almost people exactly so my mom and her cousin go to Mexico really quick Was it easy to leave and go to Mexico because you weren't allowed to leave and go to the US right you can leave I think it would have been hard to come back or something like that.

I get more and more information as I get older Immigrant parents are such liars. It's crazy. I so much right? Like wow, you were fucking married before my dad Secrets we're different than I know Go to Mexico.

I think my mom was working as I don't know if she was an architect or a bottle girl She was both during her time. She was trained as an architect in Cuba I think you just bring the bottles to the club. Oh, my mom was and is hot. I don't doubt it I see a nine the same age how do you know she's older than you?

I mean, I'm in a lot of people you already have somebody else's mom to I'm an addict. You know that yeah, yeah, yeah I'm the disease of more Amanda's mom is an airline, right? Sorry, yes, I said the wrong words people who are me. No, I said airline steward is you can't say Apologies anyway, she meets my dad.

She's a bottle girl at the club. My dad is a bartender So he's a stud because the bartender's always a stud. Yeah, my dad is a stud More more So they start dating after maybe seven months of being friends and my mom in Mexico She stayed with a family friend from Cuba But I'm really proud that I feel like I come from a family of fucking hustlers Yeah, my mom didn't have her period for like eight months because that's one point She was living on diet co-conchips for like days and days and I love the story about my parents My dad while they were dating he had this watch and he like sold his watch to get her like a bunch of groceries in the fridge This was actually before they were dating so he just said this as a friend. Oh good So he was always like studying a good guy good guy So he was always taking care of her and so then she got pregnant with me I think maybe like in the first year that they were dating no judgment I didn't mean that one First year and so then my dad traveled from Mexico to Cuba with me you're born in Mexico No, I was born in Cuba Yeah, they would go from Cuba to Mexico I went to school in Mexico to and then mom takes you when you're six to Miami, Florida under the false pretense that you're going to Disney world exactly what more lies I wanted to take me for you actually went to Disney World here Oh, you're not terrible on your six.

That's 20% of your life. Yeah, I'm like when is it wait? So she takes you there what I don't the moms a hustler So the moms and humans like fuck this let's go check out Mexico City Mm-hmm still like I don't know for me. Let's go to Miami.

Yeah, she was like this ain't it But yeah, I think she was just like I want to go to the fucking United States Yes, the land of hustlers was get it done exactly and you go and you end up staying with grandfathers colleague friend And you live with her who becomes godmother So we say there for a month in a room in her house and my dad had not yet 18 months for him He's got a way to year and a half because of visa situation, I don't know So then she started working at marshals and started going like night school taking English classes and we got our own apartment And then a year later I had this little Disney calendar where I would cross the exits until when my dad would come And my dad told me that he was like when I first got there you wouldn't talk like you were so shy I feel like this is such a kid thing. I'm so excited to see my dad I'm so excited to see my dad and then my dad came and I didn't know how to talk to him because it had been so long Yeah, right at that age one year is one-seventh of your life Yeah, and it was a year and a half of my facts are right so we're talking like a fifth year life I wonder if something more happened. Did you happen to listen to the gobermatte episode? Yes, I probably did and I fucking love gobermatte See like if I hadn't started in this industry of 15 would not know gobermatte No way, it's a way when I learned of gobermatte I fucking needed him But he tells the story of having been separated to of a Nancy capture then reunited with this mom And then even as like a one and a half year old child was icing out mom as this protective thing of I'm not gonna trust you again Because you're gonna go I'm not gonna go through that again So I do wonder even if it was like excitement excitement excitement.

He's here. Oh my god Can I trust myself to reattach exactly? Yeah, or is he gonna bounce and I feel like there's probably so many ways in which immigrant kids Carry that stuff in our bodies when we're older that instability gets passed down I just had therapy about this because I was home I mean home I was with my parents recently and the last day of the trip I was so anxious I was like what's going on? Why am I so anxious and I get anxious around them a lot But I was trying my therapist and I guess I feel like how are they surviving like are they okay?

They're in this world of white people. I mean it's just deep I'm not thinking that consciously that they're in this world of white people are feeling It's just a feeling and my dad was like what do we do about the ballet? Where do we park? And I was like what it's like it's fine.

Yeah, so it's like what do you mean? What it's fine Why is this so stressful and then I was realizing well, I do say that to myself Why is this so stressful for me? Yeah, and it's because every time they don't know what's going on I feel like they're gonna die like how can they survive in this country? Exposing themselves as being other when they don't understand these yeah, and it has nothing to do with that But I take everything like that.

Yeah, you carry so much of that as well. I assume yeah now and I'm not trying to make you cry But I think when you're 27 I'm assuming you don't have a terribly clear memory of being separated for that year and a half But it's part of your story And it's like oh yeah, just a piece of your story But I can tell you as someone who has an eight-year-old and an 11-year-old if they hadn't seen me at six for a year and a half It would have a big effect on them, especially if you're a daddy's girl I'm such a daddy's girl. Yeah, it had to be a very disruptive bit of time It's crazy because I think my brain is like anything that feels emotionally traumatic. I just black it out I don't remember some chunks of my life.

Yeah, to be honest. We just had a memory person on and he was really About that. Yeah, and there's some conscious choosing of what you keep at the forefront I'm so excellent at that similarly we learn which is so fascinating is your memories are altered by what perspective you're currently in when you look back on the Memory so if you're sad you're gonna kind of more dial into those if you're happy you'll remember more happy It's as subjective as the conscious experiences of course, so yeah, it's hard to really know actual truth is which is so relieving actually I definitely had the habit of going back and trying to just figure out not from childhood but adolescence What was right and what was wrong and there's like something so freeing about being like I don't know I'm never gonna be able to objectively assess it all it always brings you back to there's no choice But it's just not gonna be present when your memories start my start in second grade if I'm being honest I have little glimpses, but from probably second grade on I have a pretty good picture I have some sensory little sparks of things our house and Cuba or certain smells will be like whoa I really remember this but I feel like the first visual memory is first grade when it was like the first time I like to boy And I remember seeing him and I remember exactly what this little boy's face looks like I mean it's so fucking basic too It's like you missed dad you missed the male attention or the maleness and then at first grade already you're like boy energy Yes, I always in any guy that I am pursuing if they have any dad like qualities Somebody like my dad. Yeah, I'm in love with them Like I'm always looking for somebody like my dad, but I also think he's the best person I remember I think you had when I thought and she always talks about how she's like in love with her dad I'm just like I want a man exactly like my dad.

Yeah 2.0 version of dad yeah Yeah, you know it's what I know exactly what you're talking about and I know the exact sentence because it happened to be behind her on an airplane randomly coming home from Nashville on Easter and she was directly in front of me and I leaned around I was chatting with her and I said when you said everyone has a father But if you're lucky you get a daddy Then we talked about it on here Yes, I couldn't agree more same love everyone that's like my mom anyone that I did a very long time Yeah, I've definitely dated guys like that for sure Okay, so you're boy crazy from first grade yeah And then when do you start singing when do you know that you have a good voice what pocket of Miami? Are you in a very Latin heavy area? Are you feeling that Miami vibe? We moved around but we moved into this apartment complex and the first friend that I ever made in the United States was because We had this boom box and I would bring CDs and we would just listen to music and then we pretended We were in a girl group like my first friends that I made were always because of singing and music So anytime somebody asked me when did you start singing?

I can't pinpoint music was my number one joy when is the moment that either your parent or someone you admire and says Oh, you're actually good. Yes, when you go from like I think cuz I like it and I'm happy to white I actually have this skill I think my friends when I was in elementary school I remember high school musical had come out and I would bring my high school musical CD and I would play the CD and I would try To hit the high notes and I was like really good Yeah, I don't know if you had this experience but singing was like its own form of power currency in elementary school I feel like everybody wanted to be a singer everybody wanted to be on the fucking Disney Channel You guys are also kind of close to the source of the fire. They're doing a lot of that shit in Orlando Delicious. I'm sorry.

I'm so good. I know we always feel perverted telling you the name of it But that is a cream top Wow I don't know it's working they can't so fast enough. Wow. How do we get from elementary?

Wow? I can have time oh everyone's kind of into this. Oh, this is cool I got a superpower to auditioning for Ex-factor yeah, even when I was like in ninth grade and when I was in middle school I just wasn't going out and hanging out with people and partying my summers were going on YouTube looking up the instrumentals of songs and Singing I got more and more obsessed This is what I like to do more than anything and I was a really big pop culture fan even when I was little bad It doesn't be her face. I had a one-direction phase.

I had a Taylor Swift face some of these faces are ongoing about just Yeah, yeah, I was gonna say you're my teller so crazy to have a phase and then open for her. Yeah, yeah Oh my god, I know yeah, that was fucking crazy There are so many moments that have been like that for me where I'm just like I just can't do you have a hard time internalizing them when they're happening Yeah, and sometimes I feel like I can't I bet you guys feel like this like if you're a favorite person in the world is sitting right in front Of you on this couch Camila for me. Yeah, whatever What'd you say I said Matt Damon I can be honest right if Matt Damon is here You're not gonna watch like five Matt Damon movies tonight before cuz you can't you explode I just did Coachella with Lana Yes, I've been telling people I haven't been telling people I told one person tell us tell us I've been telling many people I had to not listen to her music for like four days because I can't be a fan. Yeah, yes being a fan is tricky problematic for performance It is yeah, I had to do that with a letterman.

I had to do 10 days with my therapist of going like I love the day with you there That is so real. Yeah, I gotta walk in there as for this 90 minutes as up here But sometimes I tried this is the Buddhism thing is right now I just had a moment where I was like wow really fucking take this and you've been listening to this podcast And now you know what the inside of this room looks like nobody really like you guys don't take pictures in this room Well, we do for the social but you are still the big fan. Yeah, I don't always on a straight. I actually do I've never seen this room in here though It's really such a nice vibe.

I love it here. I like don't leave you chose to not wear headphones explain that to me I feel like I'm a little bit of a sensory overload person. Yeah, you can see that right? I have like a bit of this chapstick.

I know I kind of want you to vape. I mean I don't want to be a help. Oh, yeah I know I would just like to see my bears for her dad right now. I love it.

I mean wait, why I miss this thing I was like I was like that's funny. She looked at me like dad stop trying to act young then I recognize Oh, I'm embarrassing Monica, which can be a very fun thing and I do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah So you wait I did I had a phase I smoked forever I was a smoker I haven't smoked for 19 years and then in COVID best friend here weekly was visiting and weekly shout out And weekly boom he was smoking dark blowing camels up on a vacation It was the first time I ever wanted one and I was like I can't smoke and then her friend man had vape Well, I'll do that for a week cut to a year and a half later I had to quit that I haven't for a while though My dad does it because it just really calms him down does it really calm you down? Yeah, I can't tell if I have an addictive personality or not well I want to get into that I think I do have an addictive personality But I think because I started so young and expatr and whatever I think I have a very like military discipline very disciplined so I smoked a cigarette in Paris and I fucking loved it Sure, it's the perfect place to smoke.

It's tasted so good with the espresso and like because of that I was like I can't do this every now and then I keep interrupting I really want to apologize I'm Cuban okay, we're all interrupting like that So my daughters were making fun of me yesterday because I told them I was interviewing you because I knew they would be excited And I was trying to steal your cultural capital to make them like me as you Yes, and I was pronouncing Camila a little off and then on the same day yesterday my one daughter said how do you say that work? Is on the radio? There's a song called espresso by And then my daughter said pronounce that word and I said espresso and she said but do people say espresso and I said yeah people say Espresso people like me say espresso. Oh interesting even though it's wrong And so the joke yesterday was they told me I should say would you like an espresso Camila?

So I could fuck up both things at once and then yes And you just said you were drinking espresso and I just thought that's impossible you on your own brought up espresso when they told me I had to say to you that's so wrong That's a coin key that was a zap to my brain. Whoa, okay now So you smoke that one cigarette and then were you inclined to do it again when you got home? I always do I miss cigarettes You did like I'm a smoker and I never never have but here's what I would say that's kind of parallel with the addiction and OCD Yes, spending your summer as a kid in your room listening to YouTube you fucking busted me right also I think we're a parallel addiction is like you did that once it gave you a feeling yeah No, you're right my therapist would say we actually don't even call it OCD. We call it obsessionality.

Oh, that's fun Yeah, I don't even know I think something about OCD just that because it has Yeah, it's triggering for me for some reason. Yes, you have an obsessive nature. I have an obsessive nature It really is you gotta learn to wield that sword hundred percent. Yeah, you're right part of me is like I'm trying to euphemize everything But at the same time you can use it again.

It means like make it sound better than it is. Yeah, she had a strong smell She's not like chef. Yeah, but that's a euphemism. Okay, that you should use a euphemism It's like she's in the room Yeah, yeah, we can be honest among ourselves for sure, but I don't know that we need to use my every single thing Yeah, it is weird to call a CD a disorder because it's a personality type and it's super beneficial And I also think there are some things that don't fit into neatly labeled boxes like sometimes it is just you're being obsessive It's not necessarily upset I've come both I've done yeah, because then it's placebo effect and you start giving yourself symptoms that you didn't even have but when I was Younger I definitely did have fucking text books.

Yes. Hug my parents for eleven seconds. Well, so die. Oh, yeah Pray to God then kiss your fingers three times or else of cancer I all that just adorable stuff.

I do that. I had one time where I was in seventh grade I got my period then I didn't have it for a year and I thought I was the Virgin Mary Yeah, that's so and then there was a whole neurosis. I would just like pray every night for God to take away the new Jesus Christ I was being born in me. Oh, you didn't want to be the new version Consuming motherhood I think my kids have the potential to be good singers.

I hope we get them there or writers but not the most So my mom is like I really hope my sister isn't in the industry Are you like I hope they're not or you like they are because they'll have somebody great to guide them Well, what I think is I don't want them to do it as children. It's really important Yeah, I just want them to have stuff to draw on I want them to fuck around in New York for two years without thinking about people I'm gonna be filming them. Fuck up pretty big time. I just started giving myself permission to fuck up literally a year and a half ago Right before that it was like every mistake I made I would just punish myself.

I was so hard on myself The world was watching you it wasn't even in your head It was a reality But so I would like them to have childhoods but I do have a lot of friends that don't want their kids to go into it even as adults And I'm like I'm sorry I washed cars for fucking sixteen years. What job do you think is more pleasant you ever 16 years I know your father and I have this in common. I watched cars I detail cars from 14 I guess I just exaggerated 14 to 28 so 14 years I watch 10 of cars right because this is so cute Monica The mom who had been trained as an architect who came to America and worked up marshals ended up taking a job working an architect firm because she knew AutoCAD she taught herself AutoCAD and then the dad and the mom formed a construction company now named after the little girls Yeah, and then a family business construction company. Oh my god.

That's incredible And I think this is also like an immigrant parent like even now my mom cannot fucking sit still Yes, she just has to move with me. But wait talking about the industry I agree with you like we'll say words in front of a camera and hang with a bunch of creative people How could that not be great? I feel really lucky that I've held on to the sacredness of what made me get here Like I love music and art so much if anything I love it more than more than what I'm exposed to things I watch an amazing movie or I read an amazing book or I listen to an amazing album and sometimes it's frustrating because I do feel Like there's a big difference between like commerce and art actually by the way, you know what? Let me go back.

I'm not trying to sound like a pretentious dick douchebag Yeah, but I'm saying it's different and doing something that you love for work has its own trickery because you find yourself being like Well, I want to succeed in the business sense But at the same time I never want to lose the child like integrity of why I do things Don't you think you're dancing with the devil and that what you don't want to do is make your service the commerce because you're afraid That it'll no longer be art. That's what I'm trying to say. I'm not trying to sound like I'm fucking Michael Angelo You should want this to serve you're trying to prevent yourself from letting it guide your artistic. Yes.

Yes hard I've done that for 95% of my career, which is really good. That's a huge bad thing average And I feel like now for example in this last album 100% I never ever did anything that I'm not obsessed with oh I love it. I love it. I love it.

I love it. I love it. That's the song you knew that so young Monica watch out I'm younger than you right now I am really delighted to hear you say that because I do think what could happen starting at 15 and it being professional since 15 You could kind of be like an Olympian where you fall in love with a sport and the sport becomes everything Oh my god. Yeah, you don't enjoy doing the sporting no there can be something fun to the competitive aspect of it too for sure But sometimes I feel it myself and I'm like the competitive thing has to take a back seat and you have to get back to joy again That's another thing.

I don't think it's black and white. I don't think it's like don't be competitive or not It's like what's the ratio that you don't feel sick about yourself or this? Exactly and it's constant. I love this when I did once where it's like life is like riding a bike and you're constantly micro balancing Yeah, you're constantly like oh More weight you just tiny adjustments.

Did you do the meditation after COVID when you went to ride a bike? I think the zone is like I want to win, but I'm not rooting for someone to fail That's like the line actually seeking someone to fail But I am seeking to win and I think that's something we don't practice a lot in our culture like anytime I catch myself feeling jealous of someone I did this last night I practice genuinely trying to find the space where I feel happy for them Who are you jealous of because that's really hard to believe all the some of people I'm jealous of okay? I'm in spawn still to this day. I get jealous whenever I feel like they're having their moment And I want to fucking have my moment well like how could you be a performer not be jealous of Taylor Swift Taylor is a little different though Because Vince Fauna's your contemporary Taylor.

I don't feel like it's like my contemporary She was like before me that makes sense to be like me being jealous of Bill Murray Like obviously he's the goat not gonna be jealous of him and he's 15 years ahead of me It's more like your contemporaries where you're like fuck I want what she's having yeah I do think there is a competitive drive that is important and fun. It's like why love sports documentaries like I love Kobe Bryant Muse this is telling of you it really is that informed a lot of my teenage years do you harness black mamba? I did for sure I really know that means Monica So he was beloved then he had legal troubles accused of rape needs to be said he was not convicted of that for this conversation But everywhere he went people started booing him and it was like a huge 180 of his experience and at some point It was like either going to kill him or he said you know what now I'm black mamba fuck it Yeah, he actually thrived on going into Denver and having them booing me like I'm gonna shut these mother I think Beyonce has a similar thing Where I've heard her say not personally to me She said when she's angry it makes her a better performer makes for a better show which is maybe maladaptive How would argue it's adaptive there's a positive outcome out of something negative that's a Daphne if you turn something good into a negative that feels but there is a very powerful energy behind anger or sadness or rage and it's huge Yeah, it's like sexual. Yes, and then there's justice in revenge and they're huge Yes, you know what there's times where I remember this performance that I did thinking to my dad the first man performance I will say I think love is a huge energy so I remember being like fuck whoever's in these first few rows This is for my family and that's it my hand was so steady because that energy is so strong Yeah, we all do it.

We all do it. Yeah, you know, yeah, no younger and revenge we can use it positively I do think that would technically fall in a maladaptive category I think the black mama stuff was more in my teenage years when I was struggling a little bit more the group stuff was hard Everything was hard. I felt misunderstood sometimes I was just all fucking hard and that was my way of releasing that was harnessing up But now I don't draw from that place as much yeah, you're right again everything's in moderation I do hear a lot of people tell their story and so many people's story involves they told me I would never blank Yeah, I'm like who it's like 80% of people's stories like they told me I would never but who's they I think a lot of people Invent the day that told them they couldn't do it I think that they is actually themselves were terrified they couldn't do it and others is kind of fictitious They that said they couldn't do it I find myself doing that sometimes and then I remind myself it's never as personal as you think it is And it's like they just didn't see it because they weren't seeing it that particular Monday But you're giving so much energy to that they just went and had breakfast after that It's just never that personal yeah, so okay, you go to X factor you go through the process They don't know your thing which is interesting they couldn't get the rights for respect you sang a wreath of Franklin's respect What a swing for the fences. Oh my god.

Well, I made it the poppy version. Okay. Go ahead and sing it for me now I don't mind if you do. Oh, yes, that's all I'll do You're supposed to think oh definitely not a choice.

I would have made now. I was fucking bold as hell Yeah, I love it. I just like nobody's gonna sing this song. Yeah in this way when they didn't am I auditioned that started building my underdog story for sure I was like they didn't believe in me Find out like six years later.

No, they just didn't have the right Yeah, I wasn't personal bitch so they didn't air her going through the audition process But you go to boot camp and then you get bounced out of boot camp your story ends on X factor at boot camp But then they bring you back and they bring you back with four other people. Yep, I did not know this story until today They bring her back with four other people randomly paired and they perform together and that becomes fifth harmony Whoa the random group. Yeah, did you think we've knew each other before? I assume that with all of these groups and it's never that way like Spice Girls was placed together and even more and more now with the kpop groups and stuff It's such a fascinating dynamic to do that because if you look at all the great bands that historically have existed It's like two or three of them all went to like you look at Led Zeppelin people knew each other chili peppers They're best friends and they form a band but in the band everybody had their role.

There was like five lead singers Dynamic guitar players. I think that's probably why those bands were more sustainable durable. Yeah, so you were 15 What were the age of the other four? I believe it was 15 15 a few months younger maybe like 16 17 and 20 So it's not like you were 15 and they were all 18 So it was a little smattering of ages you were older than one person and then three were older than you Yeah, also It's a unique moment to fuse you guys because you have all just I hate to use the word failed But you guys all came there with a dream and then that was shut down and then now this is a weird second chance And so I would imagine that's interesting dynamic.

I was such a big one direction fan that I was kind of like whoa This is crazy. I'm living this reality. So were you immediately kind of embracing? I was immediately embracing?

I was like this shit is by your in elementary school. I always pretended to be in growth groups with my friends Right. I was like literally in four-group so far made of like seven-year-olds, but out of five people There's no way all five had that scene. No, no, all right.

We don't have any many names Reactions for sure understandably. I mean I think I was lucky. I was already a one-direction fan I was just crushed that I wasn't gonna keep it going. This was the closest proximity I had to actually doing this in your mind This was the one shot you'll ever have in your life.

Yeah, so I was like I'm going home now Hell no Robbie fucking janitor here if you want me to I was just happy to be back and also to be honest the one direction thing I was like wow, this is so sick So I was really happy and then you obviously you guys hit the chemistry lottery in that as a group it immediately works That's also one of them It really is and even seeing stuff because there was like a brief moment on TikTok I guess where there was a bunch of videos of us coming back and I was like wow yeah I could see how as a fan it's really interesting to see like five totally different personalities crazy social experiment It is yeah, it's like big brother or something. Yeah, it was definitely not boring. How immediate was it? I don't know.

Hello. Do you like it? I actually really like it. Well, you know, I'm gonna say you might because it actually limits the amount I actually really like it.

Yeah, that sounds good your voice sounds It's like making me want to talk more like I can same same same same how Immediate is that first performance on X Factor to you guys have songs in your touring shit You're really making me drawn the memory bank This is where it definitely have some gaps here, but we went right into it We were non-stop working for like five years I think we maybe had 15 days for Christmas break every year and besides that we was working I think right from X Factor Yeah, that's 2012 and then by 2013 you have an album we went right into the studio and how big are the show you guys were playing at that time? We were like in malls. Oh, yes. What was that like?

People who saw you like Sears. Yeah, literally just giving our all with fucking forever 21 in the back Sunglass the mobile kiosk behind you. What did it grow to though? The size of the venues you were playing some arenas and everyone's parents are with them during these tours when we were Miners there was all parents and then there was a point where I was like two parents at a time who's capped It was kept probably fucking budget reasons.

That's the hotel rooms at any point. Did you start getting? I think it would be insane excitement and then at some point I'd be like hmm Somebody's making a lot of money around here. Did that ever click to you?

We actually always made the same amount. I'm more mean Lures on top of all those. Oh, oh, oh, oh Not that being members right right like the Simon calls and the lele reads and the promoters and all that maybe some Parents were sort enough to figure that out honestly until maybe the past few years. I just never really thought about money Yeah, this is Monica's gift well, but also because you're doing the thing you like yeah We all were I think the currency of that time when you're a teenager is not money.

It's fame Yes power ego how people look at you So I think that was the currency that we were all how was your ego doing that 15 16 17 18 with that amount of attention and approval Be honest. I would have been a monster. Well, it's only specifically you mean like how was your ego as if I was fucking like Yeah, I'm the shit. Yeah, no, I truly was not like down the shit I was definitely competitive for sure you want to be the best singer in the group.

Yeah, I want to be everyone I think everybody did yeah, it's just a lot of the loudest. Yeah, one of them a clap the loudest. I want to be the most love Yeah, how could you not? The weird thing?

I just had one thing that is really interesting and it's a gender dynamic as a girl You're already beautiful. So like guys are an option. I think when you're a boy and you get that situation You're like hold on a second every girl here likes me. That's a very powerful elixir I think that's where I would have destroyed myself at a young age girls don't have groupies like guys do though They don't know Girls are girls and girls.

Yeah, geez. So we're not like really getting groupies like that Okay, we're getting maybe one or two hot famous people that slide into your DM. Okay, you live for those You're like oh my god I'm not coming to the concert because in the patriarchy. They're not gonna show up at this like a bunch of powerful girls unless they're smashing Unless they're smart, but they aren't it's so hard in that dynamic to even admit yeah, of course I wanted to be the best of course I wanted the most applause because I felt the Demographic at times could be very toxic and they would be like how dare she want to be the best How dare she want that most applause fucking bitch and it's like well.

I'm sorry. I'm human. We all did they designed it that way I mean five Of course, it'd be crazy if you were all at that age like yeah, we're super happy to completely share this yeah I'm sorry before we had our pre-frontal quartet I do wonder also you're from a very individualistic society, which is very well studied and documented I do one of these Korean bands that are right That's a great point well positioned in a collectivist society to deal with that better There's a win everything you do I know and also how people react there's always who's your faith who's the best I think we all felt like you want to be your fit you just want love it equates to acceptance Which is the nice thing we really want hundred P and you're also selling merch I imagine like individual merch that could be If you were like selling 10x of your t-shirts to other members of the band are you in social media at this period? I promised myself I would never google myself or search my name on Twitter or anything like that But you are on social media enough that you can feel it you know how many followers that's what we get There's five members of the group and everyone can see how many followers everyone has were you the number one that was followed?

Yeah That's a fact what's crazy is I do feel like the fans will And let's add the layer of misogyny that exists somehow Yeah, the only story for five women working together is that they hate each other and fight that was the desperate house Why story any one of these they don't ever do that when there's a group of dudes no one saying Crazy Justin Timberlake wanted out of solo career no one saying that hundred percent I mean I will say to be fair I think the best part of looking at groups because I remember seeing this from one direction or a Destiny child you love seeing the sisterhood and the friendship and the moments of laughing because you want it for yourself Yes, especially as a fan it was a pair of social relationship and you just place yourself in that So I actually think people root for people to get along it's such an impossible situation Like imagine your girl of 11 years old four years older being thrust into like a thing with four other girls one of them would be great in it It would destroy it was also personality it is it is a person and it's hard for anyone any type of personality because you can't help But compare well look at I was at the groundlings at 2728 in the Sunday company when I say I love everyone there I would have done anything for anyone there I would have given my money I'd jump in front of a train for But and I definitely want to be the best person in that show and I wanted them to clap Yeah, right all things were true all things were true when you left What was the main thrust of thing you were desiring was it expression? Yes, I was so into songwriting and I just wanted to write my own songs who at that moment that you were about to want your solo career Were you kind of obsessed with as an artist? Taylor? Yeah, I think she was the person that made me get into writing.

That's so cool because the vibe is so different It's so different. I mean it really evolved my influences are so different But I think I started to find my voice through you see like a young woman who writes about her experiences through song And it just feels like I can do that. That's not fun Yeah, I think she's almost the best role model an artist has ever had by the way Beyonce is my number one She fell out of the sky and so there's a lot of things about her that are not really even aspirational I can't look and move like Beyonce and she clearly has a great work ethic But that's not the thing that was center stage. Yeah, she's so glamorous and her fucking innate singing well not an eight I'm sure she worked for but her range and her power as a vocalist is like a reason So these are things I can't work and get and so for Taylor I think there's so much her success is just based on the commitment to explore herself and tell her story and be prolific and hard work That's a really great role model.

I think there's different things that I take from both of them Beyonce I think she has that Kobe Bryant thing on stage. She's just like a fucking monster. What she becomes when she's on stage It's superhuman. Okay, so Taylor was obviously something you were like okay Were you old enough and mature enough to recognize that the thing she was doing was also securing some longevity for herself Like if that was the approach you took you could more write your own future I definitely feel like wow, thank God that I started writing at such a young age There was an era of people that were maybe just singers and they took songs from people and now the industry has changed so much Where the songwriters that were behind the scenes became artists?

Yeah a lot of those singers that did that are like oh shit Who's gonna fucking write my song and I feel really grateful to pass to me that I had that curiosity because I don't really have to wait on Anyone or like a pen anyone that's what I'm saying put you in the steering wheel a lot more Absolutely That's the leading thing about Taylor like when you say it seems a tiny bit more attainable because it's not like drop in the It is her ability to write in a way that's hyper personal yet extremely universal is unparalleled There is not another artist who can do that that specifically. There's a new album people have all kinds of opinions on it You feel it's funny about the way you just said that I don't know what's happening I know but everyone's but I now think people are shooting on it. Yes some people are it's also the most streamed album of all time She's doing just fine But at first when I heard it I was like whoa, it's a little too personal I can't connect and she says like these are poems, but then I listened again and I was like no I can't stop listening now and I super growing on a show her What is the rolling stone review with it? It's a grower I was gonna say I think she taught me so much and I feel like my favorite art now is the more specific something is actually the more Universal 100% I feel like my songwriting grew so much when I was focused on that don't try to make it universal because then it's nothing Exactly well the hits start coming fast when you go solo.

They're coming hot and fast. Yeah. Thank you Order I do want to say one thing most of everyone's in my Fastest We saw every night In the song though She's coming there under clothes I don't know she wasn't sweating because she's impervious to heat or she has no water because she's no water water Yes, I don't get thirsty. Yes.

I don't get thirsty unless I'm working out if I'm working out I'm super thirsty I With you or in the Sun other than that. I'm not thirsty. I could go literally all day I don't great water one thing I want to say real quick before we come back in because this happens all the time It's important to me that we say I don't like that every time we talk about Taylor every time we talk about Beyonce Not you in general the world is doing this where they are now linked where we're comparing one to the other I mean a part of its timing. I guess they both had concerts at the same time They both have these new albums, but it's always and even from friends of mine, you know, they're like I'm a Beyonce girl Like when you can be that's crazy.

I don't do that But I thought it was so sick when they linked up me to what's that mean love it when too bad bitches link up like they Just supported each other's other's other's I think that's so fire because other industries you have colleagues and you go to lunch the music industry is really not like that Supportive it's like can we just hang out we all do the same thing? Yeah, we're the only four people on planet earth that knows what this experience is like you could comfort each other But I do want to Monica I think we're smart enough to make the distinction between what I was saying and what some people are saying a lot of people are Positioning this is who's better? Yeah, I'm looking at two people that are apex success and how they did it differently I would say Vince Vaughn and with their all are like two of my comedy heroes and they had such different approaches and what were those approaches? And I think it's honoring them to actually break down what their unique recipe is that ends them both here I'm not saying what you did is wrong, but there is a there's a big conversation out in the world That's specifically about them and it's a very common thing for female artists I'm sure you get it all the time you do not hear as much at all with this man Oh, it's always compared to this man and who's better and who's not that's not true Monica in the rap world You were Jay-Z or Nas and they hated each other and then it was Prince or Michael Jackson It's very human for there to be two popular things and you know identify more with the other and then inadvertently make yourself in that team So it's not exclusive to women.

I don't think that's really fair. I think it's more I think it's much more prevalent I definitely agree with it like they got to be fighting because they're women. They can't get a long stereotype It's perpetuated, but I think men are pitted against each other like Led Zeppelin are rolling some in Beatles In fact growing up my mother was like we're a rolling stones family. Yeah, I definitely remember growing up and being like you're either a Prince man or Michael Jackson Right it pervades all of it.

Yeah, okay So you leave in 2016 and then quickly hey mom comes out. You're an effects inferior soundtrack crazy You go on the Bruno Mars 24 magic world tour, but I imagine even with that success and excitement Havana's like something bonkers is now happening. Isn't that fair to say? Single 2018 Spotify's most stream song ever by a solo female artist as much as you wanted to win when you win that big Then you kind of flip and go like oh Yeah, or just like I don't trust this honestly what I remember like I knew it I don't think you ever know how big a song is gonna be but I feel like I know when a song is special and I was like I feel like This is special.

Yeah, yeah Whoa those are the on tape I've found There was something just kind of weird about it Those are usually the ones where either totally goes under the radar or it really connects people either really get it or they don't I often know if a song is good when I play it to someone not because of their reaction How I feel you almost are extra critical because there's somebody there and if you're like cringing inside you're like this is not good You like fuck. Yeah, you know it's good here this shit Yeah, exactly and I think that's why it's important to stay connected if you're always listening to music for fun You know how a great song makes you feel so you know if your song makes you feel like that and if it doesn't then you're like well Shit this ain't it Stay tuned for more of our next video if you dare What I remember the most about that time actually was and not to sound ungrateful because I'm not but I had my first Relationship at that time. Oh, I can't believe I blew past this. You lived out my fantasy.

Oh God. What was it? So for people who have not done this in their life It's a very weird experience So if you go out on a publicity tour of some variety and on your schedule in the morning you wake up and you're gonna Today's show and then you're going to the view Yeah, and then you're going to David Letterman at night and while you're out around town and it can even happen in Atlanta They send you to Atlanta and you're gonna do this show and you're at a hotel and like you see other people that are promoting their stuff These are like colleagues that you didn't even imagine you have and so you go on these shows And I always had this fantasy where like in the green room with people and you meet a fellow actor or a fellow something And you're both out selling your thing. I've always wanted to like fall in love with one of those people Is this the relationship?

She's doing the today show meets a guy who's there with presumably a book or something is a life coach Yes, so what happened you're at the today show where you in the green room I was outside where they have the TV with the scripts I had actually listened to his podcast before by accident or in preparation I listen to his pockets for as a fan because he had like a dating podcast, okay, and he is married now so congratulations Yeah, wonderful, but I was like oh my god. I'm such a big fan I love podcast and so we went to dinner that night and that was my first relationship. It was late for my first 20 Did you feel a little not fraudulent, but oh yes, right? I was like oh my god I've never had a boyfriend There was like literally eight songs that were like basically lonely I am so lonely sex and all before me.

No, that was my first my first First love making Oh god, it was wonderful One thing I did think about because he's a quote relationship expert or at least I've written a book on dating and now I'm learning how to podcast About dating at any point would you go like this feels like he knows too much about this and it's calculating sometimes But I think that also honestly made him a great partner. He was a really great person It was like the perfect first relationship really expanded my world because he wasn't in my industry too It was like oh my god Have you ever seen Anthony Bourdain parts unknown and have you ever seen studio Ghibli films? He just really expanded my references because before that was like six years just in the music industry and we traveled and we like Took trips. So I remember when Havana was really big.

I was just like but most importantly, I'm in love I'm just such a fucking so what a year of your life 2018. Yeah, I was a great year I really want this year to be similar for me I really hope I meet someone that I really like is this been a while as it like probably yeah I always say I would relive seventh grade over and over again. I love that Would you relive 2018 over and over if you had to pick one? No, no, no, that's like far too hectic I feel like I really I won't say peaked at fifth grade because that's not that's not the vibes that I give But fifth grade I feel like I was king of the world.

Yeah, I had my first tiny little boyfriend you kiss you on the cheek And you ran away you are the goat You need to write a song kiss me and she can I ran away by the way I actually did write a song about this called butterfly garden, okay, and it was about being in fifth grade that didn't make Album so you know this band wolf pack. No, they have a song. It's the cutest song in the world It's a great song and it's called back pocket in the song is put it in my pocket put it in my back Put it in my back in my pocket in my back pocket in my back pocket And it's all about getting a note slit in your back pocket on the playground I love the specificity of that. Yes.

That's a shit. That's a shit. Yeah, but yeah, it's great And also I feel like I was my favorite era of music too who is hot when you were in Like great. That's old Jaboy.

Oh, okay Yeah, stronger by conny what an album okay is it too much? I mean this would be my guess this gentleman was a little bit older and he'd already worked through all this stuff And he probably was wise enough to go like this gale still on a big big ride that I can link my cart to I gotta let This one go free and flapper wings and do all our stuff. Yeah, I think we really had and I'm really putting this through like a big filter Okay, I want to be so respectful of him But I think he kind of knew that but we were so happy together that I think he was probably like this will be strong enough to kind of Outway what is normal 21 year old curiosity and picking over the fence and whatever I would be very scared to be in love with you in 2018 Yeah, I think he was they had a lot of anxiety about it reasonably so having never met him read his book No, nothing about him. It sounds like maybe he was smart enough to go like I wish I met this person 10 years We always said that he always said that kind of cool also of him Because I think a lot of guys would have been tried to destroy you so that you couldn't have that future so that he could keep you I think you see that pattern especially with powerful talented women who have a lot of attention in their own money I think that impulse is not to set you free but to try to take all that from you so that he can have you for Yes, we can control it and like when you're that young love feels like the fucking best It's the number one drug if somebody would have been like drop everything and run away with me I would have been like fuck yeah, I'll do it right.

He could have been a 100% whereas now I would be like that's maladaptive My therapist said this is maladaptive Do you feel like you give men a lot of power like I say this delays all the time even when I just said that joke I'd probably still do it there's two parts of me that are always fighting each other I know that it wouldn't be healthy, but I would still want to do it because I feel so why can't I exactly what happened? You would do that but you would do that for nine months you'd wake up one morning go What in the fuck am I doing? I don't really think you're domitable in that way, but I do think you could convince yourself in a romantic fantasy Yeah, me too, but I think you would pull yourself out of it so fun because I still actually don't think there is anything more fun than when you're first With someone there isn't there are things that are more nourishing Yeah, we're healthy and like a deeper joy, but as far as the candiness of it all oh and back to energy sources Is impossible it's okay. It's okay and an obsessive personality You just cannot get enough of them really the planning of what thing you're doing next and living in that what's next thing Oh my god your energy after you text them everything is funny.

Yeah everything is like amazing. It's the best day ever Do I give a lot of power to me? Can you specify a little bit more? I'm gonna cuz I don't think she'll care because she loves you.

I'm gonna bring her in I say this to talk about this though Liz Yes, you're an eye friend our friend Liz plank You're an eye friend. That's a correct UTI friend Liz I always tell her that she gives men way too much power because she's incredible She's so smart. She's beautiful. She's capable.

She's everything she's everything often she'll dilute it or she defers to men and a lot of areas I'm like not just in a relationship, but even her and I've talked about business I'm she's like well my mentor and I was like this that person should not be your mentor Just because he's this like powerful man. Yeah, you immediately elevate because the world elevates him And also I feel like mentor men do walk around with like a you need me vibe Yeah, but she's susceptible to that and I wonder are you I definitely have that tendency and then when I like somebody or have a crush on somebody I'm always working on pulling myself back to reality It's just so easy for me to spend the whole day day dreaming about them and giving them characteristics that they have not shown me And I have to remember like not the person that's in your head and it's so much less fun. That's the thing Like sobering yourself up like it's like you are drunk off of this fantasy that you have Between drinks. Oh, yes, we hate water.

We literally are never So yeah, I always have to like bring myself back to the reality, which is always less fun I remember before whenever I would perform nobody would make me more nervous than my boyfriend I did feel like I would give men too much power at the time because my therapist would be like that person should be a source of comfort for you That person should be a source of like I'm so happy they're here I'm nervous about everybody else, but I would be the most I would be like doing fucking SNL and I would be like I'm gonna say it. Yes. I almost think what you're therapist is suggesting is unrealistic and unachievable go Which is actually why would you give a fuck with anyone's things? You're not vested in that person liking me.

I don't know what Josh most things. Yes, you know I actually was gonna help you like you should care what your friends and family now should be elevated above friends and family Maybe not I don't know there's a zone that's probably healthy, but I actually think that's very natural and almost seems like a waste of time to fight That's true. It depends if you're just like, I hope they like it or I want them to be impressed You said to me the other day you saw my last camel appearance. Yeah, and you were like oh my god But you crushed it or whatever.

Yes, and I was like oh that feels great I mean certainly people said that on Instagram to me, but yes I want Monica to think I'm funny when I go on TV 100% I was a stair like if you were like Exactly, well, that would be the pathologic Exactly I go a little path a lot to go through sure right now What's interesting now that I've met you and I've interviewed Sean and I've also been a couple places where Sean wasn't chatted with him I think what would be interesting about you two is that you're both in a very wonderful and cute way. Oh god What do you about to say you want to figure it out like you're on it, right? Yeah, they're being there some self-actualization I'm which I like but I almost wonder I think at least what works about Kristen I is we're watching a doc right now about a murderer and his friends don't want to turn him in and she's like How could these people not turn him in? I'm like hon well if Aaron killed someone I'm not saying shit But just we're opposites and I think of both of us were like yeah Let's help our friend Barry about it.

Not a great partnership So I was wondering if you two could be on this journey together and at some point just look at you I know Jesus Christ were both 85 one of us has to be insane no 100% And I think that even though I talk about the Buddhism about their realization I do feel right now especially I'm in my era where I need to go out and have fun and have a good time It's teenage time for me first of all I want to like almost black out But not do you want to hang later because I drink a lot of wine I am actually not that into wine. It just makes me sleepy, but I will but I mean yes great. Okay great. Perfect.

Oh, I guess I'm With Camilla with Camilla. Can we do a show with you? That's called express with Camilla. We'll change in the smell of your name, of course Yeah, sure Camilla my alter ego.

I don't know if you listeners Lincoln and Delta Yeah, I definitely think that's why I gravitate towards people and guys who are maybe a little bit more on the dangerous side Because I don't want to this is a serving and I recommend a reformed bad boy. That's maybe the sweet spot for you Yeah, I agree. That's everyone wants that And they're not very many They think they're a form of their not Alright, so what we have coming is CXO XO Yeah, but that's mid-junish you'll have to explain the strategy of all this stuff to me because you really singles leading up to it And I love it of course is out already and I listen to it 12 times this morning Did you? I learned for a bit.

Well, I listen to it once for research and then I was like I'm gonna keep listening to this on We're working out. I feel like the good work outs on and then I watch the video and I love the video Thank you. It's almost like a mini episode of euphoria just in its own There was a lot of euphoria visual references for the album I guess this is all just a ploy to relive my teenage years in the way that I want Yeah, and it feels very Miami too Like I don't know what your childhood is but it's almost like a Miami version of euphoria right now I'm deep in rehearsal time So I actually can't drink and go out that much But when I am in Miami those are my favorite nights when I get dressed up with my friends and we go dancing I love Miami people trying to shit on it like it's cheesy What do people know? Those people are allergic to a great fucking time Literally because that's probably the only place I go where I actually can kind of touch what it felt like to be drunk sober I can buy into the way of speedo get my yellow speedo and I love going out to these restaurants where everyone's on a runway Everyone's swinging for the fences.

Everybody's like trying to be on vacation, but it's their home I love the code that's like on the other side of cringes everything you want. Oh Good because you know my big trigger word is cringe. I hate when people use that word It's such a snobby word is they're going like I'm embarrassed for you fuck you. Why don't you go try do something for yourself?

I feel like I made myself cringe I'm gonna write that that's a comment people write on post like And it feels like it's not in the United States because of the is this a word confluence confluence No, it's like the merging of the merging of the Latin people and the people from the Caribbean and there's so many different cultures It's such a melting pot most uber drivers will only speak Spanish. It's vibe City the energy there feels just way more relaxed Speaking of my family story everybody there has the same so everybody fucking move It's only six years old and their parents are from like this South American place and so it's a bunch of kind of misfits in that way Jump your dogs exactly much scrappers. Yeah, I love it. Me too.

Yeah, so when I watch the video I'm like oh, sign me up. I want a whole month there in that weird house drive them up head through Let's fuck shit up cops should be called at some point. I'm gonna breakers vibes another great reference spring break That's a big visual I'm into yeah, I feel like this album is all about which I feel like is why I love this show so much And why I love you guys so much as I feel like you guys are not afraid to show the complexity of just the messiness of being human You're like I do this thing that's fucked up and could make me the bad guy. I am the bad guy sometimes.

I'm also not sometimes shockingly I'm the good guy. Yeah, can you believe it? Everyone's all of the things. Yeah, I love it is that departures too strong of a word But there's an evolution here.

Yep, and so this is where you need to educate me I just don't know this world. I know movies in TV. Oh wait, how was biniest cuz I say you guys? I haven't listened to this a great episode.

I will listen. He's phenomenal another he's 26 I'm sorry what I know he's one of those people that makes me feel like I'm fucking 12 years You talk to him. How are you so much or and have your shit so together after the interview had I know I Know when he was born I go well, he and I definitely the same age there's just no questions How old do I feel 36 no way? Yeah, I feel like that's really cool.

No, if any feels 48. Would you want to work with him? Yes, I actually have worked with him. We made one of my favorite songs together Maybe like a couple albums ago was so fun.

It's called use to this what was the process of working with him Did you have to go to some unconventional space to make it his house? Okay, you weren't in his parents bedroom I wasn't in his parents. I think it was one of the first times that I was seeing Sean and we wrote a song about it Literally, it's one of my favorite songs. He's so good though But I would love to make more music with him.

Do you feel like you got the experience and again this is all me watching the Billy Eilish Okay, I haven't seen that. Oh, you haven't it's so beautiful. You she's really young, right? I mean, what do we talk?

She's still really young. I feel like musicians see things in like it was eight hairstyles about What he appears to be doing in that doc because I want to be fair to her. She's a beast. I admire her She's awesome, but he had this most gentle loving way of helping her pull these things out of herself He's almost in addition to be a music producer.

He's like a incredible therapist So did you get that even in that album where I feel like I still hadn't found complete confidence as a songwriter like the way I have For this last album. I think he was one of the first people to I don't know that was one of my favorite songs lyrically songwriting wise of that album Do you have producing partners that you're just like we click every time it changes? It's kind of like sometimes you really get along with somebody and then two years later You're like I don't feel anything I think it's smart to mix it up You have to because it really is the stars align and I've had producers who I've made a whole album with and then because it went So well, I tried to recreate it the next time that's a danger and then we just Yeah, you have to really be open But what I was gonna say about fitness is it is really beautiful out he has such a loyalty for Billy like he's always defending her Oh, you did it in the episode and maybe want to hug him. I love that That's like one of my favorite qualities in people well He's being like very polite about his own fame, right?

I understand people are this but then when it would get to tell They treat her he's like fucking rude and bullshit. Yes, brother I have a question am I 36 to you guys because my Buddhist meditation therapy stuff like do I feel like you're skin looks terrible? Right, okay. Yeah, I was visual.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah It's well, I guess egocentric Lee I got sober at 29 in two more years I would have been making this decision like we got to get our shit together Right, right so I put myself when I'm in the least group therapy I'm like 36 seven when I'm starting to understand like why I get mad and then Buddhism was this January 1st resolution really Yeah, and I hardly understand it, but what little I understand I'm like, oh my god. This is the greatest thing ever when I was 27 I knew drinking but I didn't know yeah, it was still fun. Yeah, okay, but again back to the evolution Yes, I'm curious I guess I've dealt with this as a comedian a little bit which is you define a point of you And you define a voice yes, but you want to evolve But you don't want to alienate and you don't want to lose what's great So how do you navigate that when you're like I want to grow but I don't want to lose is it scary or you don't even think about it I don't think that much about losing the point of you that I've had because I'm just really focused on Whether this is great or not and you know, I love it. There are other songs on the album that feels more like what I've heard from her Like a similar perspective, but I think it's always gonna feel like me because I've been the one that's writing So it's always gonna have like a similar voice I mean, I'm not the same person now that I was two or three years ago So my references have changed the things that I like to have changed there's so many habits that I feel like I picked up three years ago And I'm like oh I can't believe I did that I wish I could remember the verbiage but one of the reviews I read of I love it is like this signals a Something pop hyper pop yeah, what is hyper pop hyper pop it is a genre there's different artists like Charlie XCX or Sophie or Yeah, which I feel like this sounds like very futuristic right like high-pitched voices or really intense crazy sounding drums Yes, so I think this particular song is I'm gonna seem quicker as well I would love to be in a club dancing to the song.

Yes in fact I specifically and this is not a great thing to say I specifically thought this fucking song with her so well with MDMA Oh, okay. Yeah, this song was built for MDMA music to me It's like some songs make me feel like that and you're in your adolescent face So it's like you want to be in a club feeling that feeling my favorite things that I have done like Havana or whatever is when I'm doing Something that feels weird. That's my favorite my ego thing or whatever is not if it's successful or not successful It's more is it basic a middle of the road or did I try something different? Yeah, I tried something different then I feel cool and then I feel like I'm the shit no matter what does that?

Yeah, it's like anything really in any movie or whatever you want to be on your toes. Yeah, okay last question This one's scary is how much do you worry about longevity or the future one part of me is like I would love to have Havana Also so scary to have Havana. It's like Tarantino directing Pulp Fiction as a second movie. That's a lot and we deal with this a lot It's an interesting thought of could I just succeed mid-level and be happy?

It's a blessing and a curse to achieve something so huge and I just wonder do you have a lot about the future in longevity? I think about it And then I think my way of preparing for it is diversifying the things that I like to do and the things that I'm knowledgeable about like Okay, once I don't have a fucking pop star 65 million Instagram. I think it's smart to be like this is temporary Totally after me there's gonna be it already as you know You're the new kid on the block everybody's excited then it's like your fourth album and there's another person Who's the new kid on the block and it'll still keep happening but I think being like okay? Well, maybe when I'm I don't know in my fifties or something I could put together soundtracks for movies I could do this I could do that well That's the innate and inherent issue is that to do what you've done requires almost 100% time and focus You can't really be building out these other sectors of your life That's not the nature of a tour in writing an album So it's like when we dedicate the time to have a real pickle ball passion because time doesn't allow for that But I think more and more now there's people that are multi-hyphenics speaking of Charlie X You see that she's working on a soundtrack for this like a 24 movie and she's also making an album for me It's like that feels like a more interesting life because you can also be so in your bubble I mean, it's like you were an actor you were movies and right there You're living a few different lives in one which I feel like it's so much more fun.

Yeah, just for me I get bored easy. So yeah, this was a party. I had high expectations, but this quadruple really yeah This was so fun. I want to hang out.

Yeah, you are well hang out. Yes. I really mean that okay Well, I would love to have dinner. We can have live you guys get fucked up and I'll drive everyone's on the dad Yeah, I would love to cry when I get home So much fun, thank you so much for having me.

It was really really really really fun. I love you guys Bresso came it was like in the stars. Yeah, I love it and you're always welcome back. Oh my god Yeah, next time you're in town.

Yeah, yeah, the return to me I want to come also and just hang out because I do it all be such great friends. Okay, wonderful All right, well first of all everyone listen I love it right now and then watch the videos of 10 out of 10 and then fucking start counting down the days to mid-June when the whole album see XO XO comes out. All right, I adore you. I adore you one more visit.

I'm gonna be saying I love you Oh my god, I adore you. I can't wait to come back. This was the best thing ever. I've been excited about this for literally years I Okay, I'm done chewing okay, you ready.

Yeah, I'm doing the finding your roots this Friday Oh, that's so fun friend of the pod Henry Lewis Gates was everyone call him everyone called skippy. Yeah I just want to know about the shepherd side of my family Like I already never heard so much about the lobos side my uncle already did like a big genealogy thing Yeah, I know all this lore some of the family wars were killed by Native Americans in Michigan I don't know one thing about the honchles and the shepherds I thought you'd have been doing a lot of research other than my immediate uncle's going to all murdered everyone But you don't know anything above them. I don't anything about the shepherds like pop a bob Yeah, that'll be fun. Yeah, are you nervous?

I mixed between like um nervous that they're gonna want me to cry at some point I think that they expect you to cry don't feel obligated to do that I just it seems common that someone cries you'll hit you with a piece of information that like that's what I'm nervous about He's gonna be like are you ready for this? I'm gonna find out. Yeah, whatever Yeah, it's almost like Christmas present opening sure I'm a little anxiety that my reactions aren't gonna be the right ones I get that yeah, whatever you're actually and then conversely I am considering an open to the notion that I might start bawling for some weird reason. That's interesting to know you're gonna go do Yeah, it's different than if you're an actor and you go you know you have some scene for sure I do think most of the time if you anticipate it you don't well I don't anyway if it's like oh, this is gonna like be yeah emotional and normally isn't and that's why I could see it actually hit him because I have no expectation of being emotional as I've told you and I told him I'm hardly like I don't feel any connection to the things people did before me like if Learning my great great great grandfather was like a general in a war.

I don't I don't really care I'm like that sounds like a storybook. Yeah, that's true. Well, you'll find out. Yeah.

Yeah. I mostly just want to know the gnarly stuff As you know, yeah, I don't know what all the crooks in the would you want to find out you had saints in your family or criminals? I'm kind of with you on I don't care right if you're someone was a great leader of freedom in India I mean, I guess I'd be like oh that's cool. Mm-hmm.

Well that I'm linked somehow to that Yeah, but I wouldn't feel guilty if I was linked to something bad. No not at all I don't feel it's more interesting to be honest interesting yeah, and I am known to call well I call my uncle Randy on the Shepherd site, but everyone's gone so I would call my brother But I know he doesn't give a fuck either like I know I'm gonna call him you're not gonna believe this But Papa Bob's great great grandpa and I'll have lost him already at that point My brother my brother never calls me right we text we talked so infrequently on the phone yeah, and he called me Let's be frightened. Oh, we were watching the documentary about immaculate heart. There's a documentary called rebel heart Oh, it's about the nuns who broke away from the archdiocese.

Oh, yeah, they were pretty kick-ass is pretty good duck and We're watching it and then my phone rings is my brother and it's late It's like 10 o'clock at 9 o'clock at night. So of course my first thought is my mother has passed Oh my god, what else would you think he doesn't call me in it's night. Yeah, so I like I like leave the room I'm like hello, and he is that pickleball post like is that real or do you get paid to say you liked it? Do you really like it?

Oh my god? Totally reasonable question. Yeah, and I go oh no no no no no no no no no no I paid me I did it and I love it and he goes oh my god. This is great I've been thinking about doing it.

I've been trying to talk Tammy to do it and now and Kristen like it. I'm like yeah, she like to me. Okay great. I'm gonna do it I'm gonna order all the shit and it was just all about pickleball He's just up late.

Yeah, yeah It was like yes, he probably was scrolling at 9 p.m. Perhaps laying in bed and he got really excited 12 No, I 12 aren't they he's an organ. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah, that makes more sense. Yeah. Yeah So it was fun I hope he gets into it and I'm converting my driveway today into a pickleball court So he can visit me and I can pickleball each other today. That's so fun.

Did you say you played yet? No? I've been wanting to do it. Oh fuck is it fun?

I really want to learn. Oh good. It takes the 13 seconds to learn Oh good. The only hard part is the scoring system is so bonkers, but you get used to it fun What part of the driveway?

I'll move the bus back and then I need 40 feet 20 feet wide, okay, and I have it so volleyball court in the grass Turn into a sports complex. I have an update. Oh The place I went to maybe get Kybella and then I got all that skincare stuff. Yeah that did not work for me The skincare stuff yes, I'm backfired it did badly.

Yeah, when I miss that you didn't have a skin outbreak Yes, I did and I still am but I mean I'm wearing makeup. So it's less noticeable I've been on the new regimen for like a week and bad really bad results So that whole Expiration was not worth it. Okay. It was bad, but you know what you live in you are not you try stuff you try stuff Some stuff works some stuff doesn't you keep trying.

Yeah, it's frustrating. Yeah, it's a frustrating process. I am going to another place tomorrow to Just get a console another consultation. Okay about maybe some chin filler, okay, or whatever I just want to get their opinion sure sure sure but you're kind of all is done You're not that's off the table not a hundred percent But I'm mostly done with it the comments what you wouldn't read they were a very mixed bag for people who have done it Really?

Yeah, that's all this leave at that. I don't wish to disparage anything I don't know much about but very mixed bag now some people loved it Yeah, but it was definitely not the kind of unanimity you would want okay before you know Like you don't ever hear people go I hated my Botox. I have heard that yes But only because if it's too much you can look so stiff frozen frozen face syndrome Yeah, so people don't like that. Yeah, but that's that's what you're gonna get the worst case and that can't be unexpected Like they're that's how it works.

You can't move your fucking forehead I know but if they do small amounts in the right places it can be fine Okay, so I'll have some movement and some expression is just not so many wrinkles Okay, but some people it gets stuck like Bell's palsy. Yeah, and one I heard one story of someone Oh, maybe that was filler, but like it made their eye all droopy. Oh wow. Yeah, and then they just had the filler removed Yeah, it dissolved anyway back to normal.

I think so that's the thing with filler is it can be dissolved So I might try it. I might not I don't know yeah, they use I think Hyralonic acid dissolves it in oh really? That's also what is used often in the filler. Oh, then maybe maybe I've got that wrong Maybe it is Hyralonic acid sometimes it's hyaloronic acid in the lips.

Oh, it is the common. Yeah, okay any who and there's another place I want to go to also for a console. I want to just like see all these places Yeah, before I make any major what's that what's the other place offer something not all the same? Yeah, I guess there's no one has like a totally unique approach to this There's like 10 or 12 products like this like Korea they do all kinds of stuff sophisticated stuff Well, yeah, I was listening to this one podcast and this guy went there I don't know if he got it or if he was thinking about getting like it's called like tiny face.

Oh What happens with tiny face? They like make your face. They shrink your face. Yeah, I don't know about that Can you look it up tiny face surgery?

Oh surgery. It's like plastic surgery. This is all technically No, it's not cosmetic Well, what do you call it? I don't know because it's the filler is non-surgical What does is non-surgical?

It's non-surgical cosmetic surgery non-surgical cosmetic surgery I'm seeing this stuff about someone nicknamed tiny getting plastic surgery. Oh did it turn out nice? Elliot it's fine. I already know we don't know how you know about tiny heiresses plastic All I'm getting results for yeah, me too.

That's weird. Maybe it's not called that sounds so scientific. I know I'm shocked It's not called me. It's so crazy.

I called that anyway, so we shall see what have to be on my face What is that appointment tomorrow? Okay, speaking of faces this fur Camila Cabello And we actually talk about being photogenic She said she didn't really feel photogenic and we talked about having different sides of our faces that we like yeah She has a side and you remember that she has a side she like I have a side You don't have a side right I do think one side is preferred, but not so extreme. Yeah Yeah, I didn't say specifically in the episode But my nose was broken in a fight and it is curved. Yeah, so one side does look much different than the other I think my left side is better.

I think yeah I think my right side is preferable. Well there you go. There it is. There you have it Well, what was crazy?

I'm kind of nervous to say it but none of this is negative none of this is negative So we hugged we met we hugged and you know she's friends with Liz before you got up here and we were chatting and It wasn't a perfume, but like I smelled like her pheromones. I had a smell. Oh really it was not negative So that's why I want to be clear about that. Okay, and I was like what's I know that smell?

Mmm, and then some minutes into the interview I pinpointed the smell okay, and it was from a friend of mine had that exact same smell Uh-huh and I was like oh it's this and then I looked at her face And she has the exact same face as that friend interesting your friend. I know you're talking about she's a battalion percent, right? Yes, she's not Latina. Yes, but their features are the same Oh, wow, and their I guess their expressions the way their face moves was the same and then they had the same smell and it was wild I like really was in my head about it for some minutes Well, you know I have this opinion that there's way fewer versions of humans than we want to acknowledge I mean people all the time that are almost carbon copies of other people and then I was also even thinking of this I was watching a woman in fact this morning after I dropped the kids off at school I was watching her cross the street and she had such a specific face and look on her face Yeah, that I was like I know what her personality is I would bet my life on that I know what her personality is and then I was thinking like what direction does it go is that you have a face You present to the world with this face people treat you a certain way and informs your person like I hate to say it But I feel pretty confident that I can predict people's personality pretty good when I look at their face I generally know it's coming.

Yeah, and then you see all these copies of other people all over the place It's true, but sometimes it'll surprise you. Yeah, and then that's fun Like I might not be so fun when someone's personality does not match my like Conceived notion that is fun, but I agree with you take exact Rafani or not terribly dissimilar even our personalities That's true, you know, yeah interesting. I think you're right I should have got on the car and just said hi. How's it going?

Oh what I'm so sorry I just want to tell you for two seconds to confirm that you have the personality I think you had from looking at your face. No, I just I Wouldn't describe a personality as negative or positive. I just knew what it was gonna be and what did you think? We don't know where it's what I have to look at her again.

Okay to really remember all the ways I'm a genie She had this little dog and the way she was walking across the street. I was like She's not very friendly and she's a little bit princessy and she's a lot of products at home She's so many products in her shower and stuff Oh, and there's like some solitude She's more of a solitary creature and she likes to be in her apartment like doing all these products and stuff and she has this dog And I just I could you know, I could really see what held of 30s. Oh, was it me? No, no, no, no I like products I know what you mean though Like you meet a big guy like a big blonde guy with like big shoulders and kind of like a little jowlie You know, like jowlie like maybe like just jowlie that makes sense Like it's you know, I'm like, oh, that guy's gonna be so friendly.

I can just tell and I know that guy's gonna be friendly Oh, that's funny. I didn't you go there. You're trying to different a jowlie a guy than me. Yeah, I was a kind of soft chin Like the other Kelsey brother.

I don't know what he looks like enough. Oh, yeah It's like yeah, yeah, maybe that big robust manly chin like I feel like I know what's coming Mmm, but then this is the opposite of what we talked about last fact check with the podcast I was listening to and the voice and like my idea was so wrong Well, but actually what's interesting is what we just talked about ding ding is if you change the general outline of your Face with some chin and jawline filler Mm-hmm. There will potentially be a little bit of a mismatch and then I'll be curious to see if your personality catches up with Yeah, this is a social experiment. It is almost needed to do it now to see if we Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I saw someone like that not knowing it was him Yeah, I have an idea of that person's personality, but it's not that they're friendly He's also wearing a football jersey.

That's what you know, there's some there's some built-in like aggressiveness that you associate with the sport I think if I see that person I assume they played football at some point you do what if they're wearing a peach colored shirt Southern play football. Oh, yeah, right Southern. That is interesting. They were they definitely wear more colors in the south I noticed that polos polos and their khakis.

Yeah, they do colorful shirts Those are hilarious. You think you think everything's objective and it's just not you think there's like yeah, right But I mean you feel like it you go like like if I'm here and I go like let's kind of goofy to wear a peach And here it is but it isn't innately goofy to wear a peach colored shirt Yeah, I agree But also I think LA's kind of one of the reasons I like it is I think you can wear what ever you want here Like it doesn't matter you can be so dressed up next to someone so casual everyone looks normal and fine Mm-hmm. I like that about the city and it's unique to the city Well, what I like even more specifically and I have said this on here a few times There's not a dress code for wealth. So there's not like a built-in status dress code That's what I like the very most like a music in a few climb the socioeconomic ladder You go to polos you go to khakis and the brands of the polos and the khakis change then you go to like it's just it's like so prescriptive Yeah, and it is a marker of your status Yes And I don't like dressing that way so I like living in a city where you have to wear a certain outfit to well cuz actually I think here What's prized is having your own style?

Mm-hmm. Whatever that means as long as it's you right and in some other places in the country It's not that it's like yes. Everyone needs to look kind of the same mm-hmm then that shows like a marker of where you are Yeah, I was even thinking I was somewhere and I was on my high horse about just the concept Oh, it was in India. Did I already say this I was thinking about we were in India And I had walked behind the hotel and it was just like this big trash heap all throughout the back of it And I was just sitting there looking out and I was thinking about the fact that this is a palace It's very old and I was thinking about the English being there was thinking about manners Oh, and I was thinking oh my god I think I understand for the first time why manners even exist I think for you to morally feel okay about going to a place in subjugating a group of people into doing basically slavery you have to tell yourself you are higher on the hierarchy But this is somehow natural and normal And so you have to start really defining a bunch of arbitrary things that are outward displays that you are in fact superior Yeah, we eat more civilized we eat with our backup and we have our hand out and we use this and so I think all these customs The customs go up and up and up and up as you climb this status ladder And I think they're like bizarre symbols to justify why they're different.

They're more civilized. Yeah for sure. It's like they're proving It's innate. Yeah, just like it's obvious that they're they're not civilized and we are you can't just say that if you're all wearing the same Close and eating the same way.

There's really nothing to even point to you kind of make up all this stuff to make yourself feel like Yeah, yeah, these people are like hey, they're happy to do this labor because that's what they would do anyways They're like 200 years behind us. So this thing we're giving them which sucks for us is still an improvement for them because we're different Mm-hmm, and this is the proof of it. We have colored shirts with buttons and whatever all this stuff is yeah I think I used to just think of it as like oh it evolved because People had discretionary income they wanted to display their status and of course that just evolved in a more more elaborate Padgentry but I think there's a little more deeper in that that it's like it's also a justification for why you don't have to clean Your house and someone else does especially in a place where it's not black white Yes, if you can't ascribe race to it in fact I was listening to this professor talk about that slavery's not unique at all to the US and our history with it The only thing that's unique about it is that it was race organized But generally it was just a foreign group of people or it was a different religion. They were allowed to be enslaved They're all these different ways that they're less human than you and that really races a new one relatively new like it Egypt they had slaves yeah, they weren't different color people if they were still indigenous to that they didn't bring anyone over They didn't bring anyone over so they had to they had to draw a different arbitrary line of why this group deserved to be doing all the labor in This one didn't so it had to be like a religion or something.

Yeah, that's I mean that's the caste system is yeah I think I might even have been in a caste doctrine. I don't know the Americans didn't need to do any other shit because they were just White that was there like the explanation stopped there were white and were more Whoever evolved or whatever they were saying yeah, they didn't need to have the level of detail in manners and page and treat you know That makes sense. Yeah, but there's still manners here like the more wealthy you get the more Manors are expected yes, and especially in certain parts of the country. Yeah, but you think it's deeper in the south I feel like manners are bigger thing.

They're big in the south Yeah, they're really big in the way you talk to people's really big to it's like yes ma'am and mister and all these different things I think those I have to feel like those are a bit vestigial of that whole period Yeah, probably we have to display we're more civilized at all time or we're gonna start having to acknowledge know world as people And then this is nuts. I'm so so so on manners cuz well hate him well There are things I like about certain manners like I think you know something like I mean I think politeness is good Well, that's civil that's civilty. Yeah, I believe in civility, but what should be worn at a dinner table is crazy I doesn't mean what do we talk about what side civil wears on isn't it's in? I agree I agree with all that your hand what you cut what hand you cut with yeah Whether your napkins on your lap or it's on the table now.

There's like I get that should you be burping really loud right? No, but that's because it actually causes someone to lose their appetite running because you're smelling food How do you feel about chewing with your mouth? Oh, yeah, it doesn't bother me. They're talking with your mother I don't care now if you've shit falling on your mouth when you're talking that's an issue Yeah, the activity of the mouth moving like this long time.

It's like reading yeah Natives chew like that. We're gonna learn to do their mouth. It's like so unnatural for us. No animal choose fucking mouth closed other than human It's really true.

Yeah, these indigenous people that are chewing their mouth and we're gonna force ourselves to keep our lips closed Well, we choose. It'll be totally unnatural, but we'll do it. Yeah, okay. I'm looking up common table manners.

Okay, um Chew with your mouth closed wait to eat that is a manners thing and I agree with that or I abide by that anyway Well, what's interesting about that is I understand again, it seems like civility But there's nothing I hate worse than when I'm someplace my thing hasn't come and people are waiting to eat because of me I'm like eat and I'm like no, it's so and I'm like no, I'm telling you this is way worse for me with this favor You're doing me. I feel terrible. No one's eating you all got your food I just mean that guy we shouldn't all suffer because I didn't get mine well I do reject that rule to I reject it, but I think it's fine to have the dance of waiting and then you saying no everyone eat and then okay Well, that's fine. That's like open in a door for someone right I just think like it's acknowledging your food hasn't come yet and we'll do this together But again, I think it's getting confused about what the the actual value of the activity is the value is all sitting in a circle together Now whether four the people are chewing and three aren't and they're waiting I think people get distracted by what the value is like no we all eat at the same time Why the thing that's special is we've all gathered together and we're staring at each other in a circle I think part of it though is that it's actually to prevent someone from being done very early so that the other person doesn't then feel like Rush to finish But again, why would anyone feel rushed to finish this would be another crazy thing Well, I have because I'm a pretty slow eat or I used to be a pretty slow eater You feel people are like clamoring to get up and leave the table well if they're finished with their food and 90% of my food left I do think oh, I should get a move on okay.

There's a man or I'll sign on to it's just like you don't desert one person at the table Why they finish you don't like bouncing on I'm gonna watch TV this take it too long now that that to me is rude Yeah, because you've left someone alone. Oh, that's interesting My family didn't have that it was like well normally we didn't even eat all the same time we didn't eat together But if we did everyone could buy a week day kind of yeah, not now that wouldn't happen now Yeah, because I think we care more about all talking But when it was just like let's just like eat our food and be done go back to whatever we were doing individually Okay, so uncivilized no wonder the Brits were there exactly well my dad does still food out of his mouth all the time Oh god, I wouldn't mind at all um, but I don't want him to belch really loud and stinkily I don't either and farting at the tables shouldn't be done. No, you've done it. Of course I paid for this place.

Oh god Okay, do not stretch across the table. I stand behind that I think it means don't that means reach for something. Oh, because that's another thing I think it's a little crazy like waiting forever for someone to pass you something that you can reach That's a big no. No, I think you only need to do that if you can't reach it No, I think like here's here's one I would say that no so there's someone to your right and you're gonna reach over their plate But not over you're gonna reach in front of it in past their plate I think in that case that was rude you were supposed to ask them like could you pass me the green beans?

Yeah, but fucking grab it watch yourself when you're doing it. It's like you've just met your family or something Everyone's this is it for family. No, this is my stepdad who was like hell bent on the fucking thing. That was pretty customary Yeah, I guess you're right.

I guess you're right I guess you're right everyone's supposed to sit there and eat with good manners because it's practice for when you're out in the world Right, but I do think that is the goal. It is practice for when you're not with your family, but again, it's insane I mean, yeah, it's like people don't think like as people know I permit some swearing in the house But they know they can't swear at school and they're not stupid I can explain to them you're allowed to do this here and not there and they get it so I could tell them hey When you're at your buddy's house don't reach across a grandma to grab the mashed potatoes Right. I mean we have to practice that. I also don't care about the reaching proper placement of the napkin You always drink from a glass.

Yeah, right. They don't have a cocaine or a bottle soda. Oh, I see I don't know carton on a milk a picture of Gool-Aid and one guy's drinking a gallon of milk I mean The coffee Hey, what coffee yeah, I'm gonna just drink out of the pot No, yeah, this says avoid reaching so I think do not stretch across the table means like don't lay on the table I can't be a rule. No one no one has to be told not to lay on the table I think some kids need to be told that elbows.

That's a big one. I know I agree I don't care insanity is a posture thing probably but why do people's postures? You also want yes, I don't care if you're banana up at this you're fucking you when you're back in your chiropractor Oh my god never blow on your food. I've never heard that I mean you have to sometimes it's too hot I haven't forbid someone blows on their food.

I know anyway, I I agree that this is silly But I do care about politeness. I'm not even sure I've fully signed on the politeness Really because if you go to Sweden and you look at it through their eyes I agree with them as well like it's insincere its pageantry and it's not real they like I told you I met a kid that was a Foreign Exchange in Georgia, and she was like the amount of like hey, baby. How are you doing? What's your day?

Have a great day all this stuff. That's not politeness. Well, no, I think a lot of people would say that's being polite I think maybe that's like Southern Hospitality friendly, but politeness is like excuse me. Yeah, thank you.

Thank you. Yeah Yeah, I like that. Yeah, just respect but yeah over friendliness. No, I'm not for that either or like fake friendliness Yeah, okay, so a couple facts for her rations and Cuba The vast majority of Cuban families rely for their food intake on the libretta day of Asta semiento Which literally means supplies booklet distribution system and stated on March 12, 1962 The system establishes the rations each person is allowed to buy through the system and the frequency of supplies He was a fascinating place to go to yeah, yeah, you went there I went there.

It's a beautiful place the people are radical The food is awesome for sure. Mm-hmm. But what is also obvious is the moment they went to communism every single bit of maintenance Stop, it's just like they had money in the bank the capitalism built and then they just drew from it every day for 70 years Every building's crumbled and like there's just the cars have not been updated. You just see yeah, it's so physical Yes, observable.

Um, what was she shooting there again? House allies. Oh, yeah, okay adaptive coping versus maladaptive coping this came up a few times Adaptive coping characterizes a person who deals with stressors through personal growth optimism solution focused actions creativity and flexibility Different coping approaches problem solving reaching out for support changing our expectations better for the situation Regulating stress related emotions taking actions reduce stress such as breathing techniques changing the way we think about the stressor Okay, now maladaptive coping strategies may be more likely to be in the toolbox if there are overwhelming stressors or trauma Or if there was maltreatment neglect during childhood or exposure to emotional invalidation these strategies provide temporary relief, but they don't address the problem cigarettes Booze drugs sex food pretty much substance use rumination physical escape Mental escape their dissociation numbing excessive daydreaming procrastination self injury binge eating risk taking behavior blame self blame and self criticism avoidance and safety behaviors behaviors that temporarily relieve anxiety But actually reinforce the perception that the stressor is a threat Maladaptive Okay, Havana you said has the most streams of a solo female artist and that made me want to look up I Want to look at the most stream songs on Spotify, okay, number one of all time. Mm-hmm Blinding lights by the weekend is number one stream.

I don't know if I know that song Blinding lights you just added a stream I think I thought this was like a British singer. Oh, yeah, he's not Canadian is he that's Drake Drake is Canadian Yeah, you've been following Drake and Kendrick Lamar in a big desktop. No, what's happening? They're both writing songs about each other.

Oh boy. It's quite it's it's overtaken. It's a beef Yeah, okay, number two is shape of you Ed Sheeran friend of the pot. Yeah, yeah three is someone you loved by Lewis Capaldi Vince Geralt.

Yeah, that's a girl he peanuts. What's it called? Someone you loved someone you loved by Lewis Capaldi. Oh, yeah I love this song This song is number three most songs of all time.

I have a guess why Is it a remake? That's a good question But here's my theory on why it's third, okay Because if you love a dance song you like listen to it twice and you dance to it Then you move on to another dance song when you're super sad and the song's hitting the right note Yes, you hit it repeat and you listen to like 350 times. Totally. Yes agreed For is Sunflower from Spider-Man into the universe is that Coldplay?

No, it's Post Malone and Swaley Are you sure about that? No, I'm not Then Starboy by the weekend and that punk weekend's big. I don't know anything about the really yeah Is he going to have the HBO show that was yeah? Yeah?

Idol yeah, um six is as it was by Harry Styles seven one dance Drake with kid and Kyla eight This now sounds like you're hosting the billboard charts. You do a lot of different hosting gigs. I mean yeah, you were doing best cinematographer No, you're doing best score. Yeah, it's Han Zimmer.

Yes Han Zimmer, but now you're doing billboards like Grammys Grammys this feels more billboard. Let's be honest. I don't work on it to get to Grammy status Okay, eight is stay with Justin Bieber nine dance monkey tones and I and ten believer imagined dragons I'll just do ten, but I have a hundred on here. Um, I thought that was I was surprised by that list Yeah, I don't know what I was there any no Taylor any women no none.

I don't see this is interesting because the first female solo artist I see on here is Do a lee-ba don't start now makes sense Billy Billy Eilish 17 but with that I see 19, but that's with Calid Yeah, so do a lee-ba is the first I see alone solo, and that's a 22. So I don't see No, that was of that year. Oh that year when I said it was of that year 2018. Okay, I didn't It wasn't there to me that that's what you know.

I thought I thought of all time. Oh, no no no it was of that year Okay. Oh, you said you have an eight-year-old and an eleven-year-old idea Yeah, and that's fine. It's weird when they're a year apart.

Yeah between December and April. Yeah, they were nine and ten So weird and that feels weird. I don't know why I said eight Are you just I mean, it's gonna say you remember my dad used to do he was always off way a year or two He made you older though, right? Oh really?

It was so funny because I already looked way too big for my real age and then he would hit him with the fact that he's like Can you believe he's only 11? I was like 13 5 11. Oh my god. I think people would be concerned that I'd acromagulate or something Yeah, sure His little guys only age I'm gonna cigarette with a mustache Well, that's it for Camila.

She was so fun. Yeah, she was genuine fan of the show which makes it so fun to us It really does. It's so flattering it is it's kind of the dream I had cuz when you go to Stern Stern has this upper hand Where it's like any kind of anyone that goes there they love the show they want to do good on the show It was I was excited that was my time on Stern. Yeah, and for a handful of the guests We've had it's kind of that and I love being on that side of it.

Yes, sir Most really enjoy that. I hope so he should yeah, it's a big feather in his camp Something happened on connections that I wanted to bring up. It wasn't I don't think it was a wink, but a side I there was something weird because did we say something about Spanish? No Big umbrella when we were talking about connections and why not and to tell us no, okay There was Spanish pronouns yesterday.

Yeah, but I thought maybe before that we had mentioned when we were going through like be really obvious say this You are initials, right? We didn't say that but that would have been a good one. Yeah I mean today MLP your rest. I hated it.

I was proud of myself I got that one of course I hated it cuz I'm been like waiting for a car thing I know and then it was a dyslexia car thing. I know she might have been winking Oh, that was a side eye. I was definitely she mad dog. Oh, yeah over it.

Oh Gosh, all right. Love you