Can I Really Love Someone I Don’t Like?

We all know God IS love, and that because He loves His human creation, He sent Jesus to redeem us all from sin and death. We also know Jesus taught us to love our enemies and to pray for those people who despitefully take advantage of us. So, according to the gospel, love is a clear centerpiece of how God’s plan works and how we are to emulate Jesus in relation to our enemies. But what about those people we just may not like? You know, those individuals who are just irritating, who might see the world differently than we do and who always seem to be on the other side of issues. Can we just tolerate them – just “go along to get along” – or do we have to “love” them? If we do have to love them, what does that even look like? The first step towards understanding and applying this concept is recognizing that love is absolutely central to God’s plan. 1 Corinthians 13 is known as “the love chapter,” as it gives several pointed descriptions of how the benevolent and selfless kind of agape love behaves. The fact that most of us don’t have what we would consider to be mortal enemies doesn’t mean we don’t struggle with loving individuals who irritate us or hold opposing views. Positive traits and negative traits This chapter on selfless love distinguishes between positive traits (patience, kindness, rejoicing in truth) and negative traits (jealousy, arrogance, selfishness and keeping score of wrongs). It highlights that patience involves self-restraint and forbearance, allowing us to respect others even when differences arise. Kindness, beyond simple niceness, is described as “active” generosity, encouraging us to be useful to those we struggle with. We need to think about the challenges we may have applying these very positive traits to those we may not really like. What selfless love is NOT It does NOT express jealousy, which can manifest as resentment or unhealthy competition. Love does NOT boast, which elevates oneself at the expense of others. It is NOT arrogant, having an internal sense of self-centered superiority. Selfless love does NOT provoke, keep score, or act in any inappropriate way. As Christians, we really need to rethink how we view difficult people, recognizing that every life matters. Since Jesus died for all, we are called to reflect his love – even toward those we find difficult. Our practical challenge is to actively demonstrate patience, kindness and humility every day with everyone.