Can You Fake Happiness? w/Beth Cabrera

“People do not decide their futures: they decide their habits and their habits decide their future.” – F.M. AlexanderIf you want to improve, be kind to yourself. That’s the message from this week’s guest, Dr. Beth Cabrera, a positive psychologist, professor, and author of the new book Being Well: A Positive Path to a Healthier, Happier You. Beth is also an old college friend who's now the first lady of Georgia Tech. In her new book, Beth argues that willpower and guilt are the wrong tools for lasting change (sorry, Catholic and Jewish moms). Because our brains are wired to survive, not thrive, and default to scanning for threats instead of good things, feeling good is actually the more effective fuel for building habits that stick. We cover the chicken-and-egg question of whether happiness causes success or success causes happiness, why optimistic salespeople at MetLife outsold others by 88%, how much of optimism is genetic versus learned, the brain's negativity bias and why social rejection registers like a broken arm. (So, please don’t reject me. Please!) Beth and I talk gratitude, hedonic adaptation, the basics of diet, sleep, exercise, and meditation, what it's actually like being the first lady of a major American university. And how the way to cheat death is to have a Purpose (capitalized intentionally).Get Beth’s book here. See her website here.Follow Me (Paul Ollinger) on Instagram here or on X (fka, Twitter) here. Timestamps00:00:00 Trailer00:00:35 Intro00:01:21 Beth Cabrera and her new book, Being Well00:04:53 How Beth got hooked on the happiness game at Arizona State00:07:07 The chicken and egg question: does happiness cause success, or the reverse00:08:31 Is optimism genetic, and how much of it we can actually change00:09:56 The brain's negativity bias, and why it kept us alive00:11:18 Gratitude assessments and noticing the good moments you'd otherwise miss00:14:06 Why social rejection registers in the brain like a broken arm00:19:04 Hedonic adaptation and why happiness set points reset00:21:07 The basics: diet, sleep, exercise, and meditation00:26:35 Life as the first lady of Georgia Tech, and putting on the game face00:30:45 Why want to beats have to as a driver of behavior00:35:03 Finding purpose, big P and little p00:36:47 A positive attitude about aging can add years to your life00:38:30 Why beating yourself up doesn't create positive change00:41:16 The three parts of self-compassion: mindfulness, common humanity, kindness00:42:35 The caddie metaphor: what would you say to a friend instead?00:43:46 Where to find Being Well and connect with Beth00:43:50 Outro Get full access to Reasonably Happy at words.paulollinger.com/subscribe