You are perfect as you exist right now, but that version of you isn't sufficient next year. You've got to be crazy, hungry, crisis to get to that next version of you. I want the data. I want the input.
I want the information. I want the feedback to get to the next version of me regardless of how it emotionally makes me feel. I'm like, driven by that without that information. Why am I living?
Walk me through your baseball career ends. I know that your dad and you are now, you said he's your best friend, but growing up, alcoholic father, you said, I think you were 14 or 15. That's right. And then they're introducing you constantly as the Shaikyu plays baseball.
Baseball falls away. And now it's like, how do you get out from under? Well, I'm the son of somebody that struggled with drugs and alcohol. I'm the kid who was supposed to be great at baseball.
Now it's gone. Like, how do you get out from under the weight of that? Yeah, it is weight too. When I was small, I was also really undersized.
So probably one of the reasons I left weights. I was always in the every baseball picture on the kid holding the sign in the front. So I was small and skinny. They used to tease me at East spaghetti.
And I'd get bullied at school. And I'd never retaliate. So I had that mixed with shyness, mixed with chaos in my home, which many people can relate to. And I got to tell you that the shift for me, sports was good for me.
Because it gave me an out that I finally found something that I was pretty good at. I think the biggest shift in our lives, the things that makes us the happiest, is that when somebody helps us identify our natural giftedness. And when I was a little boy, I got a little bit older, they pointed out my speed. So it wasn't my lack of size.
I was fast. I was fast kid, right? I was wanting to be fast kid. And I got confidence in baseball doing that.
When I got into business, I said, you know, you're intense. When someone points out a gift about you, that you also kind of intuitively know to be true. They're linked to them. You're intense.
You're passionate. You won't get out work. You're relentless. I mean, I am those things.
And when someone linked those gifts to me winning, now I believe I could win. That's the other way to change identity. Is when someone can link your giftedness to the victory, you'll believe it. Not like you're great.
That's general. That's bullshit. But it's something you know specifically. For you right now, you and Braggman, there's a few things you know.
You know what? I am good at these things. I've always been good at these things. It's natural for me.
And when someone links that to you winning, for example, you're an unbelievable interviewer. You have this general, you don't need to be the smartest person in the room because you probably are most of the time. So there's a confidence that allows you to be present when you interview me. And just listen.
That's different than anyone who's interviewed me before. And so that's a natural giftedness for you, which is why there's a part of you that kind of knows I am pretty. You wouldn't say that I am pretty good at this. This is a good program.
And so the way we changed identity, the way I changed mine was by getting in touch with some of my natural gifts and then using them in my career, using them in my life. That shifted the weight right off of me. Because the weight was, I suck. I'm shy.
I'm small. I have a screwed up family. That's the weight, right? The lifting off of the weight is, these are some gifts God gave me.
Or the universe gave me. Or that at least I know I have. And I can spend my life using these gifts. Now I've got hope.
Now my identity is changing. Now my life takes a different direction. That's amazing. One thing that you have talked about, and this is I think the thing about your notions on identity that I find really incredible is that in the early days of your building, your business, you said, and I quote, I was a dick.
But you were open to hearing that. Most people can't hear that. So that's a moment where you accept that your identity is something that you're not proud of. How do you make that change?
How do you go in a new direction where somebody, instead of pointing out something beautiful, they're pointing out something ugly? Yeah. Most of the friends that you were the most willing to take coaching from you. 100%.
Me too. And so I can't tell you why I'm this way, but I do believe it was baseball. I never took it personally when I coached said you drop in your shoulder. In other words, because of athletics, when I said, spread your leg out, your legs are too close together.
I never thought, I suck. I can't hit. I wanted to know how to hit better. I wanted to know how to throw better.
And so for me personally, I'm constantly in a crisis to get to the next version of me. It's not like I'd like to. I wish I only would like to. I probably have a little more peace in my life.
I'm a crisis to get the next version of me. And so the guy sitting in front of you right now, if I come back in a year and I'm just the same exact person with the same thoughts, same ideas, same ways of delivering them, this was a wasted year of my life. Right? So I want to know how to get to that next version of me.
And so for those of you that struggle with taking criticism, I got asked, so how important is it to you to grow? Because you were put on Earth to grow, to contribute, to serve, to help. You were in your way. And the current version of you is perfect as it stands right now, but it will be inferior next year.
You're perfect as you are now, especially you ladies listening to this. There's all this messaging. You're not this. You're not smart enough.
Women are too dominant. Then they're a diva, right? Or you're not beautiful enough. Ladies, menu too.
You are perfect as you exist right now. But that version of you isn't sufficient next year. You got to be crazy, hungry, crisis to get to that next version of you. I want the data.
I want the input. I want the information. I want the feedback to get to the next version of me, regardless of how it emotionally makes me feel. I'm like driven by that without that information.
Why am I living? Dude, right. That whole concept, like when people really ask how I've been able to be successful, it's that it's I'm stoked on who I am today. 100%.
I'll give myself the path on the back before anybody else. But I'm so desperate to get better. I'm so hungry to know why I'm inadequate right now for what I want. So the way that I sum it up is you're passing it ever bigger than your future.
So it's like once you've done something, I've built a billion dollar business. But for me, I'm not looking at that. I want to know what do I need to do and become in order to hit that next thing. Not only are all achievers doing that, but all happy people do that.
In other words, here's how we know you're perfect now. You've produced the external life you have. So you are perfect for that life right now. You are all you need to be right now.
But if you want a different life, an improved life, a growing life, an increased life, this version of you is inferior to get to that place. And so the reason we have rapport, the reason we like it, it's just like I also want to be surrounded by people who are not messaging me. Is it enough enough? Everything's good man.
Take a break. I may not want more money. You and I both have a lot of money. We probably like more.
That's not my driver. I want more peace, more gratitude, more abundance, more contribution, more memories, more experiences, more joy, more love. That will never be enough for me. Put me in the ground if I don't get any more of that stuff.
I want to grow. I want to see the next place. So that's the journey. Those of you that have faith, if you believe there's this place you're going to someday, that's because you're always going someplace.
So you might as well want to get the information and the equipment to get there. And that's where I want to go. How do you keep your standards so high? And then how do you push them even higher the next year?
I'm really lazy. So if you lift me, I know, I want to give you the honest one. Like, left to my own devices. Right?
If you just left me, like what I'd like to do, I hate me. I have no problem laying around. I like sleeping. Like I think they meet people like they're robots, they're other life forms.
They're just different than me. No, we build habits, rituals, and disciplines that serve us. Okay? Now, part of those habits, rituals, and disciplines have sort of turned me into a more confident person.
There's no question about that. So my standards are mandatory because you get your standards, right? So the reason my standards are set so high is because I don't want to leave it up to my own devices. Right?
My standard is one more minute on the treadmill. My standard is one more person I can reach that day, one more phone call, one more something. And so for me, I raise them every single year. But the way I get to do it is I only get to my reasons.
And so goals are really empty to me. I have a thing on goal setting. But like, my big thing is that you show me something with compelling emotional, gigantic reasons. I'll show you some of those changing their standards all day long.
So like, give you one quick version that you've not heard before. One of the reasons I'm relatively fit is not just peak state. My uncle and my family died at 50 years old of a heart attack. My dad's only brother.
I kind of resembled him. And I look like him a lot. So on the way back from his funeral, my reticular activator is on heart attacks. On the TV screen on the airplane, I'm listening to music is the Oprah Winfrey show.
She's going through a new heart scan. I've unplugged my headphones, plug into the airplane one. The time of this new scan at Cedar Sinai that at that time was new. It could read the plaques and your arteries, the calcifications without going really invasively.
I scheduled it. I went in. I had a world class doctor who understood reasons and leverage. I said, just prescribing.
What do we coach? What do we coach? What do we coach? What do we do this?
What do we do this? What do we do this? Doctors do it. Take this pill.
Take this. He understood leverage and reasons. What do you do? Take the scan.
Then you go to lunch. You come back. I took the scan. I went to the scan.
I had a burrito. I came back and I'm in the law. When I walk in, I sit down. The doctor comes up and he says, oh my.
I can't believe these arteries are in that young body. Got my attention. We walk back in. We sit down.
He could still go. You need cress store. Eat clean. Get out of here.
Is that what an average doctor does? Right? No. Wired me with huge reasons.
He goes, let me ask you a question. I heard your wife's pregnant. I said, I have a son. He says, do you want to be there when he graduates from high school?
Did you be there for that day? I said, yes, sir. He goes, your wife's pregnant. What do you have?
I said, a daughter. This is where you get a dad. He goes, she was six months pregnant. He goes, would you like to walk her down the island or wedding day?
Are you okay that it's some other man? I went, what the fuck is on the scan? He goes, I want to be very clear with you. If you keep going down the road, you're going.
There'll be some other man with your son at graduation high school and a stranger's walking your daughter down the other. It's not even born yet on her wedding day. I went, boom. He goes, but if you do exactly what I tell you to do, you'll be there.
And so to this day, brother, there are mornings when I wake up, not every morning. I don't want to go to the gym. I go, bell is wedding. Bell is wedding.
Bell is wedding. So my standards are high because of my big old reasons. Other dudes may miss the gym that day because they're not going to miss their daughter's wedding if they don't go, but I've convinced myself I've got emotional. I've convinced myself I've missed my daughter's wedding.
So I will get my ass out of bed at four o'clock in the morning and I will get to that gym because my reasons are bigger so my standards are higher. So that's what I think causes us to have great standards as huge reasons. When you're working with people that are just at an elite level, how do you help them find those reasons and attach something to it? So there's two motivators in life.
You really want to move somebody. Someone's childhood and their death. And then in between other people. And so most people, if you start talking to them, we'll tell you about their childhood because that impact.
And they're constantly in the back of our minds all the time. We're thinking about death. It's this thing we know that's coming for us, the end of our life. And what inspires us is really what I said.
We all want to be that version. We just don't allow ourselves to feel the emotion of it. So the more you can bring it closer to you, the better. So I do that with them.
I link their big reasons to what they want and it opens up a completely different level for what they want. You start talking to an athlete about, hey, you want to hit 30 home runs this year. That's one thing. You start talking about, how do you like to have your mom there when you give your Hall of Fame speech?
I just interviewed T.O. and Marshall Flock. Marshall's in the Hall of Fame and T.O. is going in.
And to watch T.O.'s face start to talk about how his grandmother won't be there who raised him in the Hall of Fame. That was his motivation. You asked him, was hold motivation, pull off a ball? Grandma.
Not Hall of Fame, not, you know, Pro Bowls, grandma. It's always people that we link these achievements to. So that's how I get them to believe it or not. Even athletes.
I get them talking to me about the people and dreams they have. Then we link their goals to them. That's amazing. Tell me about the time where you were trying to give a speech and you were so freaked out that your vision was blurring and you couldn't even read it.
Because honestly, if I hadn't heard you tell that story, I would just assume you're really good at this by nature because you're so good at this. You're so good at communicating. It's crazy. And I've seen you in front of 50,000 people's bananas.
So how did you start from just absolutely being paralyzed by fear? What was that process? Oh my gosh. So you really do your research.
Yeah, my first time I talked, I literally went up and blanked out. Like I literally could not think. I could not see the card. How I fixed it speaking was over time.
But I'll give you a couple of key things on speaking for everybody. One, I had to figure out. You know what someone said, because you love baseball. You don't start when you talk about baseball.
You don't get in scary. Well, I love that. And I believe in it. They're like, oh, you know, you talk about your kids.
You're great. I thought, oh, there's a correlation here between me actually saying what I believe and what I'm passionate about and my ability to communicate it. And so now my first layer is always, I must be passionate about it and I must believe it and I'm never doing an impression of another person. So I always come from a place of saying what I really believe because you can't transfer to somebody that which you don't experience yourself.
I can give you passion. I can give you energy. I can give you my belief if I'm experiencing it. Big key is a speaker.
I'll give everybody. Stop trying to convince everybody what you're saying. That's not the threshold of being a good communicator. People do not need to believe what you're saying.
They need to believe you believe what you're saying. And as long as they believe you believe what you're saying, you're an effective speaker. I stopped trying to get people to believe me. There's a neediness.
There's a salesmanship to that. I stopped that. It's a subtle difference. I just want you to believe it.
That's influence. Influence is you believe I believe it. Wow. Yeah, that's a pretty intense evolution for just that.
One moment that I'd really love to get some color on it. And maybe this just comes down to what your reasons were after that first attempt, which had to like just been searing into your mind anxiety horrific. How'd you get up the second time? Yeah, same room saying people.
That helped for me. But I figured out I didn't have any preparation. So my confidence when I speak now, just like this interview, the amount of preparation you've done for this is it is more than anyone who's interviewed me. Right.
And so me, the separation is in the preparation. Like I have to be prepared. I have to know what I'm going to talk about. And so that second time I knew every single thing I was going to say.
I didn't do great, but I did what I said I was going to do. I got up and I did it. I got up and I delivered and I just be candid with you. I liked the feeling eventually that I affected somebody.
I liked the feeling that maybe the first time I spoke, I didn't affect anybody. That second time maybe there were 40 people and maybe one person I helped. And I had this very weird capacity now to focus on the ones I helped. I actually focused.
If I speak to 50,000 people, there's got to be 3,000 people there. I think I suck. There has to be. There's at least 30.
Right. There's somewhere. And if I have ses over those 30 people, that's what made me nervous. I was obsessed with just basically reaching somebody.
So the irony was the beginning of my speaking career, it was my anxiety and fear of it. That was what was inspiring about me. Not the words I said. Over time, I think the words became more inspiring.
But I found what was inspiring about me. What put them in spirit. And it was overcoming my anxiety and fear of actually doing what they saw. I was at the gym yesterday and a woman drove by me in a wheelchair at the gym.
I was working out pretty hard. And she wheeled by me, heavyset lady in a wheelchair. I'd be honest with you. I watched her wheel past me.
She inspired me. You know what courage it takes to get in your wheelchair and say, I'm going to go to the gym. Right. I'm going to go to the gym.
She's heavyset, awkward. That inspired me far more than the jacked up dude doing 60 pound curls. I mean, that's inspiring, but you see that. But woman in a wheelchair at the gym with her two pound dumbbells because her legs don't work.
But she went in there anyway. And you know how unsecured she was about going in there. She's the only person in a wheelchair. She doesn't know what she's going to see how people are going to react to her.
She's not in shape. She's never full makeup on and her little halter top like the other girls in there. And she's right in there. She was right in there working out right next to them.
Right. I couldn't take my eyes off her. I couldn't take my eyes off her. And I ended up telling her.
She was leaving. I left what I was doing. I walked over. I said, I just want you to know something.
You're inspiring me. This is wonderful. Her face just lit up because you know how sad she how insecure she was about being in there. Most inspiring person is one overcoming the fear of doing something.
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Yeah dude. I love that way. This is a little bit different, but something you were saying to me to remind me of your whole notion of you've got to step into the dream. You've got to touch the dream.
I love that. I think that's so powerful. Dude I was so moved by your whole pointing at the cliff. You've been girlfriend now wife.
I was like one day we're going to live there. Because my wife and I used to drive around this neighborhood and say like one day. And dude, when you said your obsessions become your possessions, that is literally like that thing that you really think about. What do you mean by stepping into the dream and how can it serve people?
That's wonderful. By the way, you pick a really good place to step into. I got to tell you that your mind gravitates towards which it is most familiar with. And so if you're really familiar with what your word about and what your problems are and your fears are not because you're dominating thinking.
I know you've all heard this, but here's the reason why. Your mind loves what's familiar. And so if you don't go touch dreams, for example, just experience it for a second. For example, we would go down once every eight weeks.
If I did well in business, we really knocked it out. We could find a deal. I had 200 bucks. We'd go to the Ritz Carlton or some hotel, ocean.
And for one day, oceanfront, feel like what it felt like to valet your car. Walk in the lobby. Mr. Millette, welcome back.
She'd go get a massage. I'd play a little bit of golf. And just for that day, I'd touch the dream. And then maybe we'd do it again in a month or two and again in a month.
Just a little taste of it. My mind began to begin to become familiar with it. And more crazy, I started to kind of trick myself into thinking I belonged there. Because we never end up anywhere.
We don't believe we don't belong. And then we're not familiar with it. So there's these things you'd like to do in your life. Either visually seeing them over and over again, repeating those images to yourself.
That's powerful. But a double whammy is to not only repeat them and see them, but to go touch. See, there's one thing that's a visual stimulus in your brain that makes you want to do something. The triple whammy is that you could see it, touch it, feel it, and smell it.
If you allow all your senses to experience something, it becomes far more familiar to your brain. And so I'm a massive, massive advocate of touching a dream in any form you can get at the best of which is actually going and experiencing it. Short term, you begin to believe you belong there. You're a little bit better.
And so you will not probably produce many things in your life that you've not visited either mentally or literally thousands of times. And so if you want to end up somewhere, you better be visiting them. Those could be dreams, visions, but the most important thing is if you could actually more powerful, you could touch them short term, massive difference, drive by the neighborhood, see the cars. If you want to spend your life in service for your church or your community, take a day out every month and actually do it.
Know what it feels like for an afternoon to feed the homeless or do. And you begin to love it and feel it and believe you belong there. More and more chances that you'll be able to do that full time someday. So if the one is bringing this new way of thinking, if the person that thinks they are the most disqualified is able to channel that and make somebody's life better, how do they turn that into something concrete that they can articulate?
How do they turn it into a habit? What is that process of going from Neo waking up and realizing that you can do something to actually dodging bullets? I think one of the things is the way that we approach time. This is something that almost no one talks about anymore.
So I feel like you may be behind. You may actually be behind your destiny right now. Maybe you're not on pace. In fact, I think most people watching this listening will say, I am behind on achieving my destiny.
I don't exactly sure what it is, but I feel like it's slipping. I feel like I'm behind. So you better figure out time differently. And you can bend and manipulate time to your advantage.
The most stupid, antiquated, ridiculous concept on planet Earth today very, very well, may be that a day is 24 hours. It's so stupid. It's the dumbest thing ever. 24 hour days were contrived when there were no cars.
There was no electricity. If I wanted to get you a message, I had to write something down. If I could send it on a horseback, hope you get it. That's insane.
Never mind the internet. So it used to take hours, days, weeks, months, years to do can be done now in a millisecond in the internet or on our smartphones. We measure the time the same way that I did. That's bananas.
That is so stupid. Yet everybody does it. And so I about 25 years ago went, I'm not the most talented. I'm not the smartest.
And I'm really not. And you've had guests on your show with IQs, maybe 100 points higher than mine. This is the truth. I know a couple of them.
I don't mind my show. How in the world I don't come from a whole track record of success, right? I don't have the perfect upbringing. How in the world am I going to win?
I've got to do things other people aren't willing to do, which I'm doing. That's the one more. I got to fix the way I look at time. What would I need to believe about time?
What would I need to believe? What would the question be? And so my days now are from 6 a.m. to noon.
That's a day. It's six hours. And that day, some days you just chill. But in that day, I'm going to get the amount of productivity, faith, work it out, fitness, money, business, you name it.
We've all had a morning. I've got more done this morning, I haven't been weeks. Well, why can't you do that every morning? So I measure time.
I've compressed and condensed time. I bent it. My day is 6 a.m. to noon.
And I'm not crazy. You're crazy for thinking it takes 24 hours just like some dude in a cave did 300 years ago. That's bananas that you still think that way. And it's unfair that people have taught you this.
My second day starts at noon and goes till 6 p.m. That's day two. But with the cool thing, it's at the end of day one, this clock goes off about noon every day, bro. And it goes, what did I just get done?
What didn't I do? What did I need to be accountable for? What I needed to double my efforts just like you do at the end of most days. And the next day is 6 p.m.
to midnight. And some of those are just fun days. Some days I chill. But some days they're really super productive.
What I've done now is I've changed a minute to time. I've got 21 days a week. Stack it up over a month. I'm going to kick your butt.
Stack it up over a year. Your toast. Stack it up over five years. My entire life is different than it would have been otherwise.
And if you do this for about 90 of your traditional days that you think are, you will come back and go, that profoundly impacted my life. And here's the other thing that happens. The world responds to you differently when you value your time like that. What is precious is valuable.
That's why I dive into this watch is way more expensive than the piece of paper that's written down there because it's more scarce. When your time, when you enter the world is slightly more scarce, they respond to you as if you're more valuable. So you get more accountability, more productivity, more fun, more joy. And the world flips its response to you.
All of a sudden you become more valuable and precious to people when your time is different. And you'll get thousands more days in your life and live a much more blissful and happy life than the person who gets 24 hours. Yeah. So this is a concept that I really hope people take seriously.
So I'm often asked like how frequently I evaluate my progress. And I'm like, no, that's probably about every three hours. And I think people are surprised to hear that it's not daily. It's not weekly, it's certainly not monthly or yearly.
It's like I'm constantly okay. Was I productive in this period of time? In the book you reference it if I remember correctly. It's like squeezing the air out of all those gaps where most people like, okay, if I get this done in my day, then I'm fine.
And if you took that and made your day those six hours, suddenly it's like, okay, I need to be really efficient. What if you took that day, Tom, and then combined it with the power of doing one more of that mindset and then chasing inconvenient things on top of it in those days? And on top of that, sprinkle the little self love to make sure the little self love, little reticular activating system where we're doing repeated visualizations where we're finding the things in those days that we need to be able to find. Uh oh, you may just change your life.
You know, I know exactly what happens. And you liken this to Kobe Bryant and walk people through like, so what Tim Grover has said about like his work ethic and extra practices and stuff. Cause it's like, I don't know how many times the successful people have to say the same things for people to get like, okay, cool. I get where this is going.
I don't want really simple thing is this, you need to get in a bigger hurry. I can distill it down to something simple. You need to get in a bigger hurry. You're too casual.
You're too slow. You walk too slow. You talk too slow. You think in terms of too much time.
If you would just speed up the pace, man, like you know this when you're around someone like Kobe or Grover or you or anyone that kind of vibrates at a frequency that feels like success energy, it's faster. You know if it's talk faster. Many of our most favorite people talk much slower than you and I do. But they're just in a little bit of a bigger hurry.
I give you a Kobe thing that's not in the book though that just for me and you and everyone gets to listen. Kobe was scheduled to do my show six days after he passed. Oh God. And deeper than that, I was with Kobe the week before he passed away.
And we tell you the story about this because I think it's pretty profound about the one wars. We have volleyball tournament. Our daughters play volleyball together. And if you have a kid who plays volleyball, you all are going, yep, I get what that is.
These are long days and noisy days. So this thing starts about 8 a.m. All the dads are there. The last match was 10 p.m.
Oh God. Yeah dude. And I'm the last dad in there except this other guy in a black sweatsuit with white stripes on it. And he's about 6-6.
And it's Kobe. And we've been around each other many times with these tournaments where the last of the two dads left. And so the tournament ends. His match was on a different end of the court than my daughters was.
Something happened. I didn't know I knew I did this brother. I watched him this day. And I was on the other end and I watched him.
He had his baby and his left arm, his little one. And he was rubbing the back of his daughter that was playing. And literally I went, I don't know Bella enough. No affection.
It just stood out to me. And because it stood out to me, his outward affection, I watched him bro. And I watched Kobe walk out of the gym that day with this baby and his arm around his other one. And I watched him walk out.
He obviously stood out because he was so tall. And I can picture him right now until I'm walking out of that door for the last time. Six days later he died. And I wonder, see if you want to know the power of one more, just want to take it from you.
You can't have it anymore. I wonder if someone would whisper. Kobe. We got in the car today.
Six more days. How would that week maybe have been different for him? What would he have said? Who would he have loved?
Who would he have reached out to? What would have mattered to him? How about the Saturday before Kobe? He's getting on that helicopter.
Kobe. See, it hits us when I say that. And there's a whisper happening that you can't hear. Eighteen more years.
Whatever it is. There's a whisper. We forget. We're going to die.
Napoleon Hill says begin with the end in mind. What if you did that with your life? What if you began with the end of your life in mind and worked it backwards? Bro, my favorite thing in the world was to golf with my dad.
My favorite thing. We both know good. I golf. It was my hero in a golf cart with me for five hours, a foot away.
And the conversations. Watch my dad walk a car. Do you know what I would do bro for one more round of golf with my dad? One more time.
Hey dad, good putt. Yeah, that was a good one wasn't it? He put his arm on me. I thought you know what I would do for that?
How would you act if you started to think about all the elements of your life like Kobe's last six days? Kobe's one more day. Kobe's one more hour. Me getting that back with my dad.
What if you started to look at the relationships you have in your life like it was the last time you had the conversation with him? The last time you got the whole lease's handed. Look at her eyes. Right.
But how much more precious does she become? Maybe it's the last podcast. The last interview. How much more precious would it be?
How much more engaged is we are without next meeting? That conversation was a gerson over here. Right. The conversation with him.
See, when we begin to distill bounds and we realize, yeah, there's a power to one more because they're not promised. How many we have? And so that day with Kobe just it just burned it into my soul, man. When I watched him and then to see six days later, he was gone.
That time with his family was so precious. So I would just challenge everybody. If you want to know the power of one more, it's when I take it from you. And there's a blessing that you get one more in your life.
You're going to get another chance to talk to Lisa. You're going to get another great dinner with her. You're going to get another show. Those listeners have another day to change their life.
They have another opportunity to do one more. They have another opportunity to make their family proud of them. They still have more time. They don't just have one more day, probably, to be the one in their family.
Life is beautiful. It's precious. And sometimes we only have an appreciation for it in its absence. Sometimes we only have an appreciation for the power of the one more or the people in our lives.
When we imagine their absence. And so I would just ask everybody to consider that. The thing about work is that I think you should enjoy your work. I think there's a part of that.
But I think it's this. I agree aggressively with that. I think it's this notion that everything is separate. What do you mean?
Well, I think about it. Well, I think people ask me all the time about it. I feel like, man, if I'm crushing it at work, that I'm not going to be as good a dad. Or if I'm really a great dad, my body's going to suffer.
And there's this limited scarcity idea that somehow there's a finite amount of it to have. I just don't buy into that at all. In fact, I found it in my life. When I'm crushing it at work, man, I'm a lot better in the gym.
When I'm crushing it in the gym or work, I'm a better dad. I come home pumped. I come home engaged. I come home excited.
I'm not saying there's not fatigue. But when I'm not crushing it at work, what am I not bringing to bear in my family in terms of energy, ideas, my vibrational frequency, my ability to give out information and love. I'm cheating my family when I'm not working. And conversely, I think I robbed my work when I'm not engaged with my family.
People ask me, well, what is changing you? I was a little bit more of an angry, intense dude before I had kids. And for me, in my case, having children caused me to pause in the way I speak to people. Sometimes I was shamed when I was younger.
The ways I spoke to people, and someone talked to my son or daughter the way I used to talk to people. So me crushing it as a dad is maybe a better businessman. Me crushing it as business is certain. Driving out here, my daughter says to me, driving out here, she goes, Daddy, I'm taking the real estate exam today.
She's 18. She's going to college. I'm taking the real estate exam today. And the life insurance exam on Monday.
And I'm thinking that's wonderful. Plus, she's got finals for school. Right? What impressed me about that was that, hey, that means my work has transferred over into me as a father.
So these things are interconnected in life. When you decide not to work and you think that's going to make you better at home or better in other your life, you're absolutely wrong. You're a whole person. And growing the wholeness of you matters.
And that's why there's such value in work. Work is not always just labor. Work is expansion of oneself. And that's why you're robbing yourself.
Yeah. I also think there's something to just taking a cynical eye to the world and feeling like, oh, if I'm really giving my everything, then somebody is taking advantage of me. My thing is like, if I were working for somebody else, when in fact, when I did work for somebody else in my early twenties, I was completely cynical. I was like, oh, I'm being taken advantage of and like this terrible, I'm not getting paid what I'm owed.
And then I discovered work ethic and how far I could push myself. And I discovered one immutable truth. I could get so good that people would be terrified to lose me. And in fact, Kobe has a quote.