Caregivers Need Care Too - With Ashlee Cramer

In this episode of Marrow Masters, Peggy Burkhard talks with caregiver Ashlee Cramer about what caregiving really looks like during cancer, bone marrow transplant, and survivorship. Ashlee shares the story of her son Michael, who was diagnosed in 2020 with hepatosplenic T-cell lymphoma. Their family had already lived through cancer once before, when Ashlee’s husband Patrice was diagnosed with large B-cell lymphoma in 2014 and later died at home in hospice, surrounded by his family. Ashlee explains that caregiving is often misunderstood. Caregivers are not saints who always feel strong, positive, or ready. Many are scared, exhausted, grieving, and trying to manage jobs, children, finances, appointments, medications, and the emotional weight of watching someone they love suffer. She says caregivers often feel pressure to do everything alone, but that pressure can lead to burnout and isolation. The conversation focuses on the reality that caregiving is not always temporary or predictable. For Michael, treatment moved quickly from diagnosis to hospitalization to transplant. He received a stem cell transplant from an anonymous donor, went into remission, and then developed serious complications, including engraftment syndrome, acute graft versus host disease (GVHD) , and chronic GVHD. Ashlee says Michael is a miracle, and while GVHD remains part of his life, the key word is living. Ashlee also talks about mental health for caregivers. She names anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), burnout, and loneliness as common experiences. She points out that many cancer centers offer support for patients, but caregivers often have to search for help on their own. Support groups, virtual programs, and caregiver resources can make a major difference because connection helps people feel less alone. A central message of the episode is that caregivers need care too. Ashlee encourages caregivers to take small pockets of peace when they cannot take a full day away. A shower, a breathwork practice, a walk outside, a cup of coffee, or a short hug from another caregiver can help. She also reminds caregivers to accept help. A meal train, a friend waiting in the hospital lobby, or someone offering a few minutes of support can ease the load. The episode ends with hope. Ashlee talks about post-traumatic growth, or PTG, and the idea that people do not have to bounce back to who they were before trauma. They can bounce forward. Michael and Ashlee continue to advocate, share their story through their podcast Michael and Mom Talk Cancer, and remind other caregivers that they are not alone. Thanks to this season's sponsors, Incyte and Sanofi. (00:00 Intro (04:05) Misconceptions about caregiving and why caregivers are not saints (05:30) Why caregivers should not be expected to do everything alone (07:00) The pressure to “stay strong” and how it can isolate caregivers (09:49) The reality of caregiving and how much it affects mental health (12:03) Work, family, sacrifice, and the myth of balance (16:40) Caregiver anxiety, depression, PTSD, burnout, and the need for support (20:40) Finding small “pockets of peace” when a full break is impossible (23:10) What Ashlee wishes she knew earlier about speaking up and asking questions (24:59) Why accepting help matters and how a meal train supported her family (34:09) Post-traumatic growth and the idea of bouncing forward instead of bouncing back National Bone Marrow Transplant Link - (800) LINK-BMT, or (800) 546-5268.nbmtLINK Website: https://www.nbmtlink.org/Check out our valued nbmtLINK resource books, some for sale, some free as downloadable, https://www.nbmtlink.org/shop/nbmtLINK Facebook Page:  https://www.facebook.com/nbmtLINKFollow the nbmtLINK on Instagram! https://www.instagram.com/nbmtlink/The nbmtLINK YouTube Page can be found by clicking here.This content is provided for informational purposes only and is not intended to substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.  It is crucial to consult directly with a qualified healthcare professional regarding any medical conditions, treatment options, or other health concerns.The views and opinions expressed by the speakers are their own and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the nbmtLINK.  Unless otherwise stated in an official policy, the nbmtLINK does not endorse any specific treatments, products, or services mentioned by the speakers. Reliance on any information provided is solely at your own risk.The Marrow Masters Podcast is produced by JAG Podcast Productions: https://jagpodcastproductions.com/ Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.