Carrying On: New Year Reflections, Community, and Courage

Carrying On: New Year Reflections, Community, and Courage As 2025 comes to a close, Mary and Leah settle into a heartfelt, wide-ranging New Year’s Eve conversation about what it really means to carry on. From quiet family traditions and dive-bar burgers to the realities of agriculture, social media algorithms, and the courage it takes to speak hard truths, this episode is a reminder that most of life happens in the ordinary moments—and that those moments matter. Together, they reflect on how a year can feel both painfully long and impossibly fast, why New Year’s resolutions don’t always serve us, and how shifting our focus toward goodness, community, and accountability can shape a healthier year ahead. The conversation also explores the weight women often carry, the power of vulnerability, and why asking questions - rather than passing judgment - can change everything. This episode is honest, thoughtful, sometimes funny, and deeply grounded in lived experience from rural America. It’s an invitation to slow down, pay attention, and enter 2026 with grit, grace, and intention. In This Episode, We Talk About: What New Year’s Eve really looks like for most Americans Why quiet traditions and family time still matter Letting go of traditional New Year’s resolutions in favor of vision, intention, and focusing on the good How social media algorithms reward outrage—and how to take back control of what we consume The danger of comparison culture, especially for women Alcohol, accountability, and the responsibility we have to keep each other safe Vulnerability, wellness, and why sharing hard stories can save lives Women’s tendency to put themselves last—and why that has to change The realities of farming and ranching that most people never see Judgment within agriculture—and why curiosity is more productive than criticism Bridging rural and urban divides through storytelling and conversation Leah’s upcoming speaking engagements and her hopes for women in agriculture The importance of community problem-solving and civic engagement Why being bold, even when it’s uncomfortable, is part of being a good citizen Memorable Themes: “Carry on” as an act of resilience Choosing goodness over negativity The power of showing up honestly Community over algorithms Curiosity instead of judgment Shared humanity, even when our lives look different Where to Find Us: Facebook: Grit and Grace in the Heartland – Women in Agriculture Website coming soon Final Thought: As Mary and Leah remind us, people are people, no matter where we live or what we do. As we step into 2026, may we look out for one another, ask better questions, stay connected to our communities, and move forward with both grit and grace. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, share it with a friend, and help us continue telling the stories of women in agriculture.           00:00 Mary and I'm Leah and welcome to Grit and Grace in the Heartland. Hello, Leah. How are you?  good afternoon. Happy almost new year.  Yeah. Happy New Year's Eve.  I can't believe it is the end of 2025, the year that is felt fast and slow, like a miserably long dentist appointment all at the same time.  Uh huh. Yes. That's a very good way of describing it. 00:30 it's really remarkable because it's actually beginning the same way that it ended and it began as it began  also because  this weather we've had in Nebraska went in the same with this  mild dry weather. So it's not really very remarkable. And yet I think about last January and the blissful ignorance going into a new year and then it wasn't even one month in and  things just started going bonkers. 00:58 you know, in every direction, especially for those of us who  with the government or in a nonprofit or something like that.  Yeah. Yeah. And I don't think I said anything in the first two episodes recorded  that we've recorded so far. I am in Minnesota and it is uh gently snow flurrying out there. It's really beautiful.  Like a beautiful New Year's Eve of my childhood. Always was, it seems.  Yes. So what are you guys doing this evening for fun? 01:28 Not a lot of excitement going on around here. New Year's Eve is typically pretty quiet for us. Of course, our eldest teenager has her set of fun plans. We're hanging out at home. We are playing in a bowl game today, I guess, for Nebraska. And our 10-year-old asked for waffles. And I thought that was really sweet because that is actually what my mom tended to fix for us on New Year's Eve, waffles or pancakes. 01:57 And so that's what we're doing for New Year's Eve tonight and probably play some card games or something with her and call it an early night.  I learned that the New Year comes in whether I'm awake to see it turn or not.  I'm not staying up till midnight.  Rarely do. Sometimes I, you know, get curious about the events in the big city and I love good music. So I would try 02:23 I loved Dick Clark. I loved his New Year's Eve rockin', Eve, whatever it was called. I love music and I love the interviews that he would do with people. And I liked to see the sparkly and shiny, exciting  things from New York, but I have no desire to plop myself into the middle of that many people  and be there.  But typically I don't make it past the evening news.  Yeah. And I would stay up to watch the stuff from 10 o'clock till midnight. 02:52 but we don't have actual  network TV  at my house  because our cable company decided that there was no reason for them to provide that anymore, our internet company.  So they don't even offer it anymore. And that's the only business we have access to for our internet where we live. So  we don't have any way to watch anything. So  why stay up? Let it go. Yep. We have 03:19 the best dive bar in Minnesota in LaSore.  And it's called the Bar and Grill. my parents, God love them,  sent us some gratuitous money for Christmas, just a little bit.  it came today. It took nine days to get a Christmas card from  Whitefield, Maine to LaSore, Minnesota. And uh I saw what was in the card and I said, uh since it's just you and I, darling husband, I said, 03:48 Would you like to get a burger from the Dive  Bar in town tonight for dinner? Because we order and go pick it up and eat at home.  And he said, I think that sounds like a wonderful Christmas gift from your parents. I said, that's what we're going to do. So we're going to get really yummy  Dive Bar burgers and the best onion rings ever for dinner. There you go. I love stories of little places like that  and try really hard when we... 04:14 travel or go visit communities to find those kinds of places because I just love their stories. And I know working in retail and food, the margins are tight and they appreciate the support. good for you guys and it'll be fun. And it'll be yummy. Oh my goodness. We only do it about once every six months because it's not an inexpensive bar. It's not a $50 plate by any stretch, but you know. 04:41 I don't like to spend money on food when we can make food here because we really like cooking. But sometimes you just want a good burger from somebody else. That's right. And a night out of the kitchen. get that. Yeah. So that's how we're going to celebrate New Year's Eve.  The dog will be at our feet, not begging. She just watches us eat. She does not beg.  And uh my husband will surreptitiously drop his hand down so she can get a taste of the burger. 05:09 I love it. It's the normalizing of what New Year's Eve really is like for a good majority of Americans. And our New Year's Eve was always about family and again, pretty uneventful, spent at home and just cherishing that time together, simple, and you know, as harder as we were teenagers and had jobs in town and things like that. And I had new appreciation after working in a grocery store in high school for 05:39 holiday preparations and all of those things by working. But the time spent together at home doing just the simple everyday things, that really is most of America. it really wasn't until the invention of social media that I think so many people started including myself once in a while to get carried away with some idea that you weren't doing it right if you weren't doing it this way or that way instead of recognizing that. 06:06 people have always been people and they generally stick to their family traditions and  routines and don't have to change who you are just because you see these shiny pictures saying, hey, if you're not doing New Year's Eve like this, you're not doing it right.  So  I appreciate hearing your version of what New Year's Eve looks like.  Well, it's always been pretty quiet because I don't want to be running the roads with people who have been drinking. Yes, same. 06:34 Same, same, same. I wrote about that today. I've  just been very convicting my whole life because  of the tragedy that occurred in my family  and conversations about the dangers of consuming excess alcohol, not just at New Year's, but any time.  And then  with that came pretty direct communications from our parents as we aged about real consequences of those decisions. And also 07:04 What I appreciated was being told early on that if I ever needed an out, I could call. I might be in trouble when I get home, but always felt safe to call for support if I was in a position where I couldn't drive. I also had to be bold and to take the keys away from others who shouldn't be. this mantra in 2025, so many of us want to put our heads down and not look around and not get involved. 07:32 stay in our own lanes. Well, the unfortunate side effect of that sometimes is not being bold  enough to call out what isn't okay.  I commend, I have a nephew for instance, I commend him. I a friend um who have taken the keys away from others before. I'm so proud of them because  they didn't just do it  for that friend, but potentially anybody else who could have been hurt. 08:01 It was not easy to do, especially when you're a young person. It was right thing to do. And both times, thankfully, we're given grace  and not a hard time by the party they took the keys from,  but really appreciation for being able to be bold and say you're not safe to drive. so  more of that. I just  wish that we could be remembering to be a good citizen means paying attention and being bold when you need to, to look out for others. 08:30 um This episode will be out after New Year's and I'm just gonna say it don't drink and drive It doesn't have to be around a holiday. Just don't drink and drive  and Also, do not get into a car with someone who's been drinking 100 % a bad plan don't do it.  so  you had some things you wanted to talk about today So  what did you want to share? Yeah, I do  You know,  I'm not huge on New Year's resolutions. I talked a little bit about that today 09:00 Mostly because  we live in a world in agriculture that feels like we plan as well as we can,  but we are really subject to whatever the day brings. So can be really difficult  to plan and resolve. The only thing we have control over really is our attitude about how we face things. And even that is difficult at times. So I think it's always fun to visit with people and ask them, do you believe in resolutions? 09:27 I have others who say I don't do resolutions. have a vision board for the year, others who set goals for the year. I like talking about what I'm going to do more of instead of what I'm going to do less of because it seems that New Year's resolutions often get really critical and hyper-focused and focused and fixated on things like that. I mean, we're already our own harshest critics. 09:58 and we can get really hyper, hyper fixated on the faults within ourselves. I resolve to lose this much weight, whatever it might be. And maybe it's the age I'm at, but I feel more more convicted to talk about planning for all of the good to come and setting goals that have to do with being conscientious of focusing on blessings, focusing on the good things rather than 10:28 all the other stuff in the yuck and trying to look for the good things. So  I have a vision board that I've started  putting some things on it to inspire me, to motivate me  in 2026, and then just to help  center me to stay focused  on the good and hold onto the good  for the times when things are out of control or out of my reach or  hard. I feel like they just helped me more 10:57 mentally and physically prepare to carry on. And that is the word my great-grandmother used. And I just think that especially in light of how difficult 2025 has been for so many people, that it feels more doable and realistic for me anyway to step away from calling it resolutions, but being more focused on the goodness and the things 11:27 that are there and with that  is how can I help share that in a way that is helpful for others?  Or how can I help be accountable  to myself or others who are looking for accountability to do and to be those ways and those things? um Just had that conversation this morning with someone that was saying  how it seems like they really try and social media's algorithms fight that tooth and nail. 11:57 that what sells is sensation and drama and hard and shortcomings and failures and anger.  And  that, whether we believe it or not, does take a toll on us and can consume us.  And so the intentional efforts, one thing at a time,  to vow to step away from getting sucked into all of that  negativity and hard. 12:23 that maybe we can be the ones who change the algorithms for good, but it will take a conscientious effort of everybody to shift that focus towards the good, the better, the improvements, rather than dwelling in the past and the hard and the shortcomings of the past. em It's going to be a tough exercise because I know I face hard things ahead of me this year. 12:54 But I feel like it is time.  I owe it to myself. I owe it to my community. And I would say to the women listening  that you owe it to yourselves  and your families and your communities  to try  mightily to do the same and see what we can get done.  Wow, that's a lot.  I have a thing about the algorithm. 13:22 And I want to tell anybody listening that the more  you  take in the negative  on Facebook or Instagram or any social media,  the more it feeds you of what you choose to look at for longer than a second.  And it's funny because with my Facebook page, I tend to follow very uplifting pages like 13:49 I want to learn about farming. I want to learn about animal husbandry. I want to learn about  gardening. And so those are the pages that I follow. So my Facebook feed  feeds me all kinds of uplifting positive things. So if you can just maybe not get sucked into the negative posts and follow the positive posts, maybe that would change the algorithm for you. agree.  I am being very intentional that way too. I've actually 14:18 My daughter has been practicing with me, I'm very proud of her. She tells me that teenagers are starting to limit their social media interactions because they recognize some of those dangerous paths they go down where they get so caught up in  comparison and recognize that they need to step back from it. How good of them because  it's got to be so difficult.  And I 100 % agree. I have seen the data to prove you're exactly right. 14:48 and that my audience reach becomes so limited when I focus on the joyful, happy, uplifting things versus the runaway  numbers I get. If I cite even  something that seems fairly insignificant, but this can be a loaded word, for instance, um it's wild. It's absolutely wild to me. And it speaks  volumes about 15:15 the larger hands that are at work here  who are profiting off the brokenness and um the hardships and the way people feel. Like today, my social media feed ads are full of not atypical for New Year's Eve. It's all about your resolutions and focus on health and wellness for next year. But a lot of it just has an icky feel to it because 15:42 Behind the shiny and beautiful advertising is the  scrolling you're seeing. I'm coming up short. I'm not good enough. I've got so much work to do on myself. And don't get me wrong, women tend to  barely invested in trying to self-improve all kinds of aspects about ourselves. But these people are profiting off of it, making money off of the idea that they can sell you something that will make you a 16:11 better human being, a better woman, a stronger woman, a fitter woman, a more beautiful woman, whatever it is. I don't like it.  It feels gross to me and non-authentic um when there's so much money attached to this whole industry. So I have tried to X out of it and that's people don't know how to use their social media entirely well.  As you say, you do hold the power. You can change what you're looking at. 16:39 You're going to have to be dedicated to putting in the effort to do that and shifting and changing what you're looking at  to get it to be full of sea otters and ponies and kids and chickens.  Happy things.  The way social media used to be. remember when Facebook was brand new and that's all that it was. It wasn't even a place for news headlines.  And I want it to be like that again.  That's why I try to look at the good stuff and not the bad stuff because that's how it keeps sending me good stuff. 17:09 I don't know. I don't love reading about people's misery.  So I try not to.  And the whole thing about how to be prettier or thinner or whatever. Look,  we are humans and we age. It's a fact.  And the older you get,  the more wrinkles you get,  the heavier your eyelids get, the grayer your hair gets. 17:39 And no matter what you do,  you're not gonna leave a good  looking corpse if you live a good life.  That's true. If you live a good life,  you're gonna have laugh lines and frown lines, and you're probably gonna have gray hair because why color it every four weeks? Because that's what I would have to do.  I'm not coloring my hair every four weeks, that gets expensive. And I have really great fingernails, 18:06 They grow fast. They're heavy and thick. They're pretty. They're really nice fingernails. I break one a week  because I do stuff. I do dishes and I hook dog up and I do laundry and  nails break.  I do not understand this obsession with having your nails done every couple of weeks. don't get it.  Yeah, it's a,  I mean, I read some figures, the billions of dollars pouring into the industries. 18:35 of health and wellness. And with it, there's great stuff.  I'm so happy to see beef tallow reemerge  as a healthy, natural substance. You can access  the benefits to beef industry and it's good for the skin for those who  like it and use it. That's a win for an example.  And I do feel an emergence  of interest in natural remedies  and natural tools available to help people feel and look better than 19:03 then maybe they are sleep better, whatever it might be. So those things are a win. People are doing their research and evaluating their options that are out there. And I do think that is a great thing. It's provided ways for small businesses to take root and grow and some things like that. So that's a win, I think. There's still a long ways to go. 19:31 it'll be interesting to see what the history books say of us one day if people are still reading,  writing and reading history  about what the measurable impact social media had on human beings. um I do believe a strong impact.  And for all of the bad we talk about, I think there's so many elements of good that has happened.  And my melanoma story is just one of them. 20:00 I will not lie, the day that I chose to share  my bare face  with the first where I'd been biopsied and then back after my surgery, it was not pretty.  And I have  wrestled over the years with how G-rated to R-rated to make my content be because I in a small community. I'm surrounded by family and extended family. 20:29 Putting yourself out there, be it a podcast or on social media  or speaking, it is not easy,  most particularly because of what goes on in your  local community.  And I had never really been so bold before and shared, in my opinion, what was pretty ugly.  And very personal. And very personal. 20:56 kicking myself because I had already waited longer than I should have to have gone to the doctor. And I  wasn't met with ugliness as a response.  I was met with so much gratitude.  And grace.  Yes.  Both from people who had ugly things happen to them. Oh, Mary, I had people sending me private photos of what skin cancer has done to them,  where they had waited and it required 21:26 surgery and boy has surgery improved over the years as people understand more about how skin recovers. But people who have been disfigured  in order to have their lives saved all the way to countless  women in particular say,  gave me the kick in the ass that I needed to go to the dermatologist and I have cancer too.  I was very humbled by it. 21:55 what you did was really extremely important. 22:03 And by goodness, why do we humans have to learn our lessons the hard way? So often I don't know. uh And I learned mine the hard way and  used it  to curate a message that I hoped would help someone else to prevent having to learn something the hard way. And I know I have and I hear from people. um My goodness, by and large, Mary, it was women. And I know I have more women listeners and followers than men. 22:30 But women put themselves last. They always do.  And that empowered me to say, can keep sharing this message and I can share  other vulnerable things if it means  one more person will not put off their wellness visits.  Absolutely. And Leah, I'm going to tell you something.  All of your beauty, you are a beautiful lady, but all of your beauty is in your sparkly eyes. Thank you. 23:00 I get my blue sparkly eyes from my father  and as the doctor tells me,  they are my nemesis for why I will continue to fight cancer the rest of my life. Uh-huh.  Yup.  No, um as for the social media thing, I am really grateful for social media because I never would have met you  without it.  True story.  We wouldn't be doing this. That's right. You're my friend from afar and I am so blessed. 23:29 to have made connections because of social media.  I say  my sister from another mother because we are so connected.  There  is so much more alikeness than unalikeness in this great country. Just because my hobbies are cows and crops doesn't make me anything unlike a woman who loves some other beautiful, wonderful, unique aspect of agriculture. 23:59 And we all get hung up on our titles and what we do and who we are. And it can at times put us in, we put ourselves in separate buckets,  but we are not.  We're all very much the same. We just do it differently. m We sure do. And we do things the same too, because everybody puts on their pants one leg at a time. And I have to remind myself of that all the time. 24:28 when I'm doing the other podcast because I talk to some pretty  famous people sometimes. And the first time I interviewed Joel Salatin, I was shaking because he's famous in agriculture.  And I was only six months into being a podcaster. I was a baby podcaster. And  I was nervous. And I flat out told him, I said, I am so nervous. And he was like, Mary, we all put our pants on one leg at a time. m 24:57 And I went, oh yeah, we do. And he has the most beautiful southern accent. And when he said that and he laughed, I was like, okay, we're good.  yeah, we're all the same, but we all do it differently. And that's okay. That's what makes everything so interesting.  telling more of those stories, finding ways to connect and relate and share  is the key to keeping us the  United States. 25:24 rather than getting caught up again in those algorithms or sensational headlines that have you thinking it's anything but that because that is not reality. The reality are we are people being people.  We want clean, safe places, access to jobs and taking care of our families and to work hard and to be able to plan for retirement and to stay healthy. We all really want  the same things at the end of the day  and we cannot buy into. 25:53 So it's  2026,  10 be our year, and I say our year, it's the year for the American people to remember this is our country,  to get out there,  shake hands with someone you don't know, get to know your neighbors, understand your local community issues. 26:18 work together. I'm so proud of my community. We're working through a really tough issue right now with our recycling center.  It's losing money because just like a lot of things,  it's expensive to operate, labor is hard to come by, trying so hard to save it. And that does not line up with any particular party affiliation. It is citizens who recognize that it is important and we've got to try to problem solve them. 26:46 I'm proud because our community has not had like a big issue in a while that required so much  involvement. And I'm  very hopeful that we can find a good solution because we do not want to lose our recycling center. Well, I hope it gets resolved and I hope you get to keep it because uh having some place to take your Amazon boxes is really important. And I'm being smart as I'm absolutely making light of it. 27:14 Recycling is important. uh So can I ask you about your speaking engagements for 2026 because I haven't really gotten the story on this yet. ah Yes. Just decided as I opened this new chapter  with more control over my schedule  that I can say yes to some of the invitations that have floated my direction, particularly the last two years. I'm very excited to stick my toes in the water. 27:44 and do something that I haven't done in a long time. I did participate in public speaking as a high school kid, as a college kid,  and over the years I've been asked to MC events or  speak on particular topics. So this is the first time that I get to curate some of my own messages in collaboration with the needs or the wants of these organizations who are looking to  add 28:10 to a women's conference, for instance,  that'll be happening in Mitchell, South Dakota, and another gathering in Oregon, and another gathering  in Eastern Nebraska. Women's events focused on bringing women in agriculture from  all facets of agriculture together over a day or a two-day event and participate in that event.  And the messages that I hope to focus on are things I care about and things they... 28:39 they care about. Sometimes it's just nice to add a fresh perspective  into a particular conversation. And the thing I have found over the years is it's easier for  people to say hard truths  when it's not in your own backyard. bring somebody in from a ways away to talk through some hard things. And I hope that my keynote ah breakout and workshop type 29:08 work is more about collaborative  and  sharing ideas and being able to ask questions and share ideas  than it is a one-way street. uh I believe that the Lord gifted me with some  skills  and abilities to help people feel like they can ask those questions  and sometimes be the person in the room to say, 29:34 the things that's on the minds  of others who don't feel like they have a voice or empowered to  use their voice and ask the things. the theme is pretty unique though across the board as I hear from organizations looking for a speaker and it's bringing women together, having community,  learning from one another and really leaning into one another, propping each other up to keep going. 30:04 And  I certainly don't have all the answers. I hope that I can bring some honest, open dialogue, conversation starters, and help empower the people in those communities to find some of the  answers they're looking for, even if it is as simple as just helping them  curate their own storytelling abilities so they can 30:33 advocate for their communities.  In particular,  I know what's going on in some of these areas and it is they are feeling that rural-urban divide. They are feeling the sprawl of urban development. They are feeling compelled to advocate for better education on land transition for the farmers and ranchers and  estate planning. They're feeling... 31:02 the stress of how to stand up for themselves when  their urban neighbors are telling them,  appreciate you, but we don't like your dust and we don't like your noise. We don't like your smell. um It's not that we're better. It's not that we're superior people.  It's not that we're more valuable than any other community. It's just that 31:29 Farmers and ranchers historically have been misunderstood because they stay focused on getting their work done and  not in a position to have to stand up for themselves and justify their existence and explain why things are. And some people say, just keep doing what you're doing. You don't need to take time to explain. Well, I had read some statistics just a couple of days ago that we are at the lowest number 31:59 of  agricultural-backrounded elected representatives that our country has ever known in 250 years. And that does influence policy development. So if they can't be from an ag background, then they need to understand it at least. And that is going to require us in the trenches to do more and try  to get the word out there  about what it is we do and why we do it. 32:30 When is your first um speaking engagement?  I have a tentative one in early February. Over the holidays, they're still trying to work through their agenda. And another one in the middle of February. okay.  Yep, another one in March. So I've got some time.  And then I will pick up some,  if asked, hopefully,  to do some other work throughout the year. 32:58 I have some volunteer things I'm lining up as well, opportunity to get plugged into my community and do some things  that I think will be helpful. I hope they'll be helpful.  So  lots of exciting things ahead of me and I'll be shaking in my boots too because the fear of rejection is real no matter how old you are, how experienced you are. And of course everyone has the bad dream that they forget what they were going to say.  It's time to say it. 33:28 So just picture the audience in their underwear, It'll be okay.  Right. And  the uniqueness is, you know, a lot of this doesn't really have a script.  And I will prepare  and do the best I can to answer the questions that come at me.  And still I wrestle with what most people in production agriculture do.  We are private people.  It is not easy. 33:56 to talk about certain topics  in any family, in any operation. um That's not even really to do with money, but it really has more to do with the dynamics and the challenges.  So I want to be who I am and I want to be authentic and transparent and honest. I'm not showy or fancy. There are other  wonderful  ag advocates out there who deliver these 34:26 high quality,  beautifully written, constructed messages and those matter also.  That is not me.  And  it wouldn't be me if I tried to be, but I also want to be able to deliver the message well  and earn the compensation that people have generously offered me. And I want to learn from the communities I get to visit. I'm so excited to be blessed by getting to meet. 34:54 farmers and ranchers who look very different from me. am so excited for you. You're going to be fantastic  and really proud of you because one of my greatest fears is public speaking, like standing in front of people in the same space talking to them. I don't want to do it. It scares me to death.  This is the most public speaking I want to do right here on the podcast. 35:22 I appreciate that very much. It certainly had to grow on me. I credit my parents with encouraging me and making me do things that were uncomfortable. um And I grew into it and I  did very well in high school competition in particular and learned things about myself um that were important. They propelled me into much of the rest of 35:47 of what I have done,  what's really hard is when people say, who are you and what do you do for a living? It is difficult to describe because for as much as we recognize who we call advocates or influencers or  motivator,  motivational speakers, or these other things in the world of farming and ranching,  we're still pretty harsh according to identities  and work. And so 36:18 I am fully prepared to recognize there are people who have, I mean, not to my face, but to some of relatives' faces or in writing have said you don't even have a real job in what you do. You just talk.  I'm  not completely surprised because that's just how we  Americans can be in particular.  I also recognize that I'm able to do some things others wish they could do. 36:48 um don't have time to do. So I  carry the responsibility with a  high level of commitment to honoring my family, honoring my community, and still being who I am  at the same time. 37:09 It's not easy.  It's hard when people say things like to my teenage daughter, for instance,  that aren't necessarily kind,  not unkind sometimes either, but humans can be pretty judgy, pretty harsh.  Yes. And  I said, I don't know I said this to you in one of the interviews on the other podcast or not. I said it to somebody.  It's funny because we're told as girls and women not to judge, not to be judgy. 37:39 But  every human being has to be judgmental because it's how  we work through the world.  So there's a difference between being judgy and opinionated and making somebody miserable with it  or being judgmental as in looking at a situation and making a decision about what you're going to do in that situation.  And it's very hard for me when it's people within our own circle of agriculture doing it to one another. 38:07 cautioned someone yesterday in a comment thread. I sometimes say, just need to stay out of the comments, but  I go into them because I can't stand it when I see an ag person picking on another ag person.  this one was as simple as really being harsh on someone regarding when they cab their cows in the year. And I used to be  somewhat more judgmental about that, wondering why would people cab their cows this month of the year, for instance. The older I get, the more I understand. 38:37 People generally have reasons  for doing the things the way they do.  It's not my place to pass judgment about when a rancher is calving their cows. Now, if they want to complain about it constantly, you might say, why are you calving your cows when you're going to get a blizzard?  But  we cannot afford to do that to one another. It has no place. 38:59 at all within our industries because it's already hard enough. There's already so few of us  left standing. We're trying to invite young people in.  We're trying to invite people in who are curious and interested. We cannot be doing that to one another.  I did school somebody yesterday, might have left my page. I got unfollowed a bunch last week um because I was accused of  not standing up for every uh 39:27 cow-calf producer in this country by talking about country of origin labeling and  gosh, we can go into the weeds on just about any subject and people will have strong opinions.  But the days for passing so much judgment between ourselves within our communities have got to stop because we just don't have time for that crap.  We just can't. Well, the wiggle room isn't there.  We need to invite people in. 39:57 to the circle, as it were,  of producing food.  we can't be alienating people  and then expect them to want to join the party. And instead of alienating and judging,  ask someone why they do something the way they do. I bet you they'll have a very good reason. And if not, they might even say, I would like to do it differently, but I don't know how. Can you help me? 40:26 There's your open window to talk about moving your calving season.  Yes, and it doesn't even have to be about calving season. I mean, I had somebody ask me one time why I do all the glasses first when I do dishes by hand,  and then bowls, and then plates, and then silverware, and then the pants. And I was like, because the glasses are usually the cleanest thing I'm going to put in the sink. It's the easiest place to start. 40:52 And by the time I get to the pans, I'm just going to dump all the water and start over with hot soapy water and that cleans pans really well. And I said, how do you do it? And they were like the exact opposite of how you do it. I said, does it work for you? And they were like, yeah. And I said, well, this works for me. So I guess we're both winning on it. Fantastic. Yes. More of that. And, you know, I asked my sister, who's a brilliant thinker and does so much research. Have we always been this way? 41:22 always been so  easy to move to judgment about others.  everything. Everything. Oh my word, I follow this brilliant food blogger who took it in the shorts over having Jell-O at Christmas.  It's not a real salad, you know. And I thought to myself,  have we always been like that? We just didn't have keyboards in front of us? um Or is it to  become more worse? 41:51 She believes we've always been this way. We just had this filtering mechanism  that slowed us down or made us think better of it before we uttered it out loud or we typed it or wrote it in a letter.  And now it's just full-on access, instantaneous responses where in maybe three days, or if your grandmother had read what you wrote, you wouldn't have said that. m 42:18 oh It's not a good look. I wonder if it exists in other cultures. I don't know.  I hear from Canadians and Australians in particular a lot who say they have their own same problems.  But other cultures, I don't know. I'd be curious. I have no idea, but I do know that when I moved from the East Coast to Minnesota,  it was terrible culture shock because 42:44 People in Minnesota are very, very, very hung up on their words for their things.  And the first time someone said, I'm going to make  a hot dish, I said, I don't know what that is.  And they were like, what? And I said, I'm not from Minnesota. I grew up in Maine. What's a hot dish?  They were like, well, people  from New England call it a casserole. And I said,  oh! 43:14 Okay, so how do you make a hot dish? And they were like, well, usually it's tater tots and some kind of ground beef  or meat and  onion and some kind of cream of soup.  And I said, yeah, that sounds like a casserole to me. And they looked at me like I was swearing because I wasn't saying hot dish. 43:36 Oh, we're pretty amazing, aren't we? Imagine if we just took off our packs of all of that stuff we carry all the time and just focused on getting the work done and having fun and learning. Uh-huh. And that's as close as you're ever going to get me to sounding like a real Minnesotan. I have such a hard time with the accent because I cannot do it very well.  Well, it'll be fun because, again, I'm getting to dive into immersing myself into the different cultures of agriculture. 44:05 that are out there outside of my comfort zone.  And that's my goal in the long term is I want to be the minority in the room  instead of being in an echo chamber with other people who already feel and think and look like me. I want to be able to do that. I feel empowered. I feel strong enough for it that to bridge the gaps and the misunderstandings between us, it will require that of many, many, many of us. 44:35 And so if I can do something to help this podcast be heard in a community we'd never expect, or I can go speak or do a workshop in a community looking for  an opportunity to learn and grow from someone they don't know or recognize, that's my big dream. That's my big goal.  We'll see where my path leads me. I think your path is going to lead you wherever you need it to lead you. That's what I think. 45:05 Thank you. appreciate the vote of support. It is  a, I'm thankful for a small group of online friends  who do as  I am doing with, again, as you will say, putting yourself out there because  it isn't easy. It's still considered pretty unusual. And it's one thing to put it on a keyboard as I do. 45:31 or even a live video and it's another to go into the room with people and shake their hands and hear their stories  and hope that they will accept me and hope that I will represent myself authentically  and measure up to their expectations.  as I tell my daughters, doing scary things in your life never does stop. It just looks different.  The older you get and the only 46:01 regrets you'll have as if you never made yourself try and skim everything because you don't know what will happen. 46:08 My friend Morgan says, doing the damn thing when it's a scary thing. And that's how she gets herself through it. need to take some of that in and use more of it about getting myself back into the gym and spending time lifting weights like us menopausal women are supposed to be doing so we don't lose bone density. Just go lift a cow. 46:38 plenty of feed buckets out there. Oh, for sure. I can't imagine. That's why I was going to ask you. was thinking about it this morning and it's really not about women and ag. It's just about ag. You live on the ranch, right? 46:59 Yes. So are the cows  a long way away from the house or  is the barn right there or how does it work? So our ranch  is  spread out over some distance. Thankfully, the furthest piece is like eight miles away.  But I live actually what you call in  the middle. So in the summertime, I'm surrounded by the cattle. In the wintertime, they are not near me unless they're on a corn stalk. 47:29 Every day requires getting in a vehicle and driving to where the work is happening. That's good and that's hard,  depending on what time of year it is. But yeah,  we are segmented across the space. Most of the work is happening over where my mom and dad live at what we call headquarters.  I have my brother and sister-in-law and my baby niece here as well. They're all kind of on the other end of the ranch. So we kind of 47:57 We have it surrounded, so we always keeping our heads on a swivel about what's going on around us. And I actually live in the home I grew up in, which is pretty fun and remarkable story where my parents raised us. Nice. Okay. And then the second question I have, because I was thinking about this this morning too, because I'm trying to picture your life, you know, because we don't know each other. We know each other through words, not through being in person. But 48:25 Do you guys grow crops too? Yes, we do. What do you grow? Yep. So we have several things that we do depending on the year, the weather, markets and the need.  We do corn  that is grown for ethanol and that is  a loaded conversation for many people.  It's called crop ground. We grow soybeans for soy use oh because crop rotation in our opinions 48:54 good solid crop rotation is best for the soil.  grow feed,  which is  sorghum, sedan, and rye, and wheat that we use  to rest in the crop rotations, but also for cover crop use and for feed for grazing for our cattle.  We grow alfalfa. Alfalfa is what we call an expensive insurance item in the event of a horrible drought, a horrible summer drought. 49:23 Alfalfa is the insurance that you have to feed your cattle  when pasture conditions warrant it. And  I've only had to do that once since we moved back home in 2012. We had a terrible flash drought. So those are the crops growing at any given time, though we have some wonderful turnips that we planted this fall. Again, those are known as a cover crop, uh grown  for soil health and preventing  dirt blowing off. 49:51 retaining moisture in the soil. There's lots of reasons we do.  so we're very, very diversified. And then we have our cattle operation.  And what most  people in this part of Nebraska do is that be very diversified. And it has been a blessing. It's a blessing financially, because when one market is good, typically another one is bad. And so one year, 50:20 the cattle may support, the ranch better, and one year the crops may support the operation  better. What it means though is there is no rest from the work.  And the truth is most operations are diversified more than one way. So this  terrible, terrible narrative, and  I just have to look away from the comments about lazy. 50:42 lazy farmers only work 90 days out of the year. It's so far from the truth. There just are very, very, very few American farmers who only work a few months of the year. That's just grossly, grossly exaggerated.  it's a blessing to have the diversification. It's also a great challenge because there are pain points in the year  where all of it's hollering for attention and there's not enough help to go around. 51:13 Again, people need to stop being so judgy. Yes. Ask some questions.  You will learn things that you didn't even want to know.  And as I said this morning,  for those of us in  particular in facets of the livestock business, the cow-calf business in America, seven out of 10 years are not profitable. 51:39 ranchers are kind of hearing that they're the career of the year because things have been so good this year and they were good last year. But history tells us since 1976 when my father came home from the army and my grandmother would have said before him and my great grandfather would have said before her, that good times don't last for cow-calf producers, not for very long. And since 52:07 bad policy to cold, probably going back as early as the 1970s. We can break that down on a different day. The cow-calf producer has not been able to be profitable, not all that often, and it has required those operators to diversify. And when I say diversify, I also mean that somebody, quote, went to town to work.  Didn't reduce the labor at home has required 52:38 that of one or more of the family members or on any particular operation.  we are, we're at a precipice now because  of the rising cost to live as a family. And  we can sort that out a different day. What does it mean to cost to live? Has a different definition for different people. 53:01 There's a reason why young people aren't going into the cow-calf business is because it feels insurmountable when you recognize that you're going to take on living things who don't look at the clock. And you're also going to have to subsidize that by having other streams of income.  Yes, and living things that get sick for no reason  or for reasons that you could have prevented, but you didn't know enough to prevent. oh One of my 53:30 One of my people that I follow on Facebook lost two goats  today because she didn't know about hookworm.  Oh yeah. 53:41 And they're very upset  about losing these guys because they were only like a year old.  And I always say goats and sheep could just die for no particular reason at all. If you look at them wrong, sometimes they'll die. Yeah. So you just don't know with animals. And you can do  everything right as long as you know what you're doing. You know, there are things that you just can't know until you experience them. Exactly. 54:11 when you are responsible for living things, you're also recognizing that Mother Nature will show her hand, I call her her, forgive me, when she feels like it.  And that can be a wildfire, a drought, tornadoes, hail, horrific blizzards that weren't predicted. I have seen it  and lived it, experienced it.  And I have been in a couple of very 54:40 very sobering, in particular, events in my life. And I thought if anyone who didn't  understand agriculture would be standing looking over my shoulder, they would all say, you are absolutely out of your mind for doing this.  gam—not gambling.  Farming and ranching is gambling. It high stakes gambling. 55:06 That is money, that is time, and that is emotional fortitude.  And there isn't a hard, hard job. And there's no insurance that covers the loss. 55:23 in the terms that aren't necessarily about the finances  of the animals, but the loss of  generations of seed stock, the loss of your mental and physical wellbeing when you go through said events like that is really hard. And I hate that we have to do more 55:53 as we go about recruiting people to join us. Join hands with us and let me tell you how crazy you have to be to want to do this. But I don't want to create resentment when people said, no one ever told me that it would be like this.  So being very authentic about it, it matters. 56:15 Yeah. And the thing is, Leah, there are people who work on oil rigs and do really dangerous work, and they love their jobs, but it doesn't make it any less dangerous. So it's not just ranching and farming that's hard. There are so many jobs that are really hard and really scary and really life-threatening, and people still do them. Yes. And there's a thrill and a passion and a love and a fulfillment in it. 56:44 And that's the piece that carries you on. Yeah. Yeah. So I think there are young people coming up who are very interested in  raising animals and growing crops  and becoming the people who take care of the animals, know, like veterinarians. And  there are people coming up behind us who will want to do these jobs. And I just want the kids that are coming up. 57:11 to learn about what's involved before they decide to do it.  And find those supports and networks. And we are doing better all the time and across the Great Plains in particular,  having resources together to be there to support people when they need it, which is so good. Sometimes it's a listening ear, sometimes it's technical advice. 57:35 every element that you can think of and how can I help this person be successful. I'm so thankful for those efforts. 57:44 Yep, exactly.  I feel like I'm saying yep and exactly a lot. I'm sorry. uh All right. Well, we've been talking for almost an hour, so I think we should wrap it up. You can find us for the time being at Grit and Grace in the Heartland Women in Agriculture on Facebook. And I am building the website  and it should be up here very, very soon.  So excited to be on this journey. So excited to connect with other women and help tell their stories. 58:14 support one another as we travel into this new year. I really hope it's a better year than 2025. Me  too, sister. Me too.  All right. In the meantime, have some grit and grace.