Cell U.R. by Mark Plimsoll

Vampires dance with Goths around campfires far from the rainy Metroplex- as the Central Computer says in Cell U.R. "Most entertainment consists of beautiful people on sexy adventures without kids, because real life is the opposite." Imagine a near future, when nanotechnology allows doctors to install speakerphones on the inside of everyone's ears, a microphone in their throat, and scanners that record through the eyes. All citizens enjoy a permanent connection to the internet. One human cellphone loves two women; the tattoo artist, belly-dancing Gypsy fortune teller Vampire Elvirus, and a SuperUser's abandoned, beautiful, Wiccan, earth-mother, equestrian daughter named Louise. In this multi-media comedic satire of everything you love about B Movies and black-and-white thinking, Mark Plimsoll presents adult themes with elegance and style, buried in slang or scientific jargon, in a way almost suitable for all children of most ages, even those who can vote. Cell UR allows us to exercise our intelligence and imagination with a story "low on violence and saturated fact." Sometimes songs propel the plot; Borderline, Wiccan Moon, Imagine a Future, Santa's Lapp Dance, In Trouble, Meet Yer Expectations, Kiss and Tell Eternity, Whiplash, Onda Beach, Weird Beautiful, etc. Will Gnathal receive his new Personal Customized Transporter in time to invite Vampire Elvirus to tattoo his backside on the beach as the sun sets, to realize four of his life goals, five if she's of another race? Will the Siliconoid Aliens catch the reality show Spaceship Rambler (before Andrea loses her virginity) and exact revenge on all DNA life forms? Will Maximilliano Duroc, Global President of Metroplex, declare war in language people understand? What evil lurks in the war-torn Devastate, besides genetically modified organisms and the everyday terrors of nature at night? Cell-UR describes the near-future Twenty-first century's human conditions in humorous metaphor, through the eyes of a 'normal' industrialized, connected, urban "metrosexual" adolescent coming-of-age as part of something bigger than himself, to learn that true evil...