Certified: Not A Mess

Dating’s chaotic. So what if there were… standards? Like actual, published, reviewable standards. In this episode, Tim launches his idea of a “Dating Passport” – complete with Contracts of Integrity for Men and Women. LeeAnna reacts to Tim’s “Contract for Women of Integrity,” with an eyebrow raised so high it leaves orbit, and accuses Tim (lightheartedly, we hope) of sailing dangerously close to being cancelled. What follows is a no-holds-barred takedown, rewrite, and reimagination of what it would mean to be a Certified Human in the Dating Universe. Spoiler: gendered assumptions are out, and universal decency is in. It’s fun, it’s sincere, and it might actually make dating better – or maybe just even more complicated. Alchemy is proudly ad-free, which means no awkward segues into sales pitches for trash you find out you didn’t need only when it’s arrived on your doorstep – yup, hold the promo code. Writers’ prompts for this podcast are here. Submission page for Effigy Press here. Effigy Press here. Intro music: brighter days by Oliver Massa - License code: S4QNBRVN0S5MTNW4 https://uppbeat.io/t/oliver-massa/brighter-days Outro music: nightdrive by mood-maze - License code: OGGKCMVJLUMOBW5P