Change Your Stories, Retrain Your Nervous System and Be Mindful-Jessie Mahoney

During this episode with Dr. Jessie Mahoney, we talk about how we can change the stories we tell ourselves, retrain our nervous system and create more mindful practices that can help us improve our lives. In addition, we address the following topics: Choosing to change yourself can create shifts in your relationship. Understanding the griefor depression each of you may feel and understanding. Getting clear about things out of your control that can’t be changed. Retraining our own nervous system first. Parasympathetic nervous system is focused on rest and digest. Sympathetic nervous system is running from the tiger. We can feel bewildered and respond or react at different speeds. In adrenal depletion we just react and are not pausing. Fight or flight response releases cortisol. Self compassion releases dopamine and oxytocin which feels good. Learn different breathing practices to see what works for you.  This can help you be less reactive. Restorative yoga can be very helpful. We have held onto stories that may be misinterpretations. How can we create positive stories and remember the things you fell in love with and focus on how you’re the same. Understand your neurodiverse relationship is going to look different than other relationships. Create a positive story about the way your partner shows you love.  Reframing stories can be so helpful. Tell the story that we’re both doing the best we can.  Judge the effort, not just the outcome! Change the way you think and then determine if you need to make a change. Determine what your non-negotiables are and after doing that you may realize that you are no longer compatible. When you’re in a state of constant frustration you can’t be fully invested. Focus on both of your individual strengths. What is your partner good at that you don’t like and vice versa? Generosity of thinking and assuming good intent can help you get out of a tug of war with your partner. Create a toolbox for moving through the world more smoothly. Mindfulness is acceptance (even if you don’t like what is happening). You can have acceptance and still be angry or have other feelings and this can empowering. What you practice grows. Be patient with yourself and wour partners.  Our partners may have a different nervous system pace. Allow yourself and your partner to be angry. Accepting and not liking and still listening is so important. 69% of our problems in our relationships are perpetual and 31% are solvable. Ask yourself-“What would love do?” You don’t always have to understand. Self compassion is a life raft. Learn more about Jessie's work at her website: www.jessiemahoneymd.com Jessie's free yoga classes are available on YouTube at Mindful Yoga for Healers Listen to Jessie's podcast- Mindful Healers here.