Changing Lives: The Masks We Wear and Benefits of Removing Them

Halloween isn’t the only time we wear masks. We learn at a young age to mask our emotions because it’s not safe to express them. We’re told to “stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about” and to say we’re sorry when we’re not. We learn to hide any aspects of ourselves that other people deem unacceptable. We do what others expect us to and get attention, approval, or something else we desperately want.I’ve worn at least three masks, which I talk about in the video:* The expert who knows all of the correct answers * The emotionally numb person who isn’t hurt when mocked or shamed* The person who always tells the truth and does the right thingAs I’ve grown older and wiser, I’ve learned that the costs of wearing those masks far outweigh the benefits. It’s flattering to be seen as smarter than others, but it’s also lonely. I’d rather be seen as a peer than put on a pedestal; I’d rather be honest than pretend to know all there is to know about God, life, or anything else.It seems safer to not let others see how much their words hurt, but it’s not. Emotional pain that’s masked still hurts, and it gets expressed in other ways. As the saying goes, “hurt people hurt people.” Emotions trapped in the body can also cause physical pain and serious health problems. It’s admirable to tell the truth and do what’s right, but no human always does both.Honesty and fairness are very important to me. I challenge lies and unjust policies, but I also admit that I am sometimes guilty of the same bad behavior I condemn in others. We are all imperfect and I’ve learned that it’s not healthy to see myself as superior or inferior to anyone else.What masks have you worn? What happened when you took them off? Are you still wearing one that you’re afraid to remove?P.S. If you’d like additional support as you take off a mask and deal with the reactions of people who expected you to keep wearing it, DM me or schedule a call. I offer private coaching and other helpful resources. Get full access to Changing Lives at wendigordon.substack.com/subscribe