action and adventure Join us for literally none of this and more as charity and Jason I'm charity and I'm Jason and this is the Christmas episode or holiday holidays holidays Oh, yeah, yeah, so how was your Thanksgiving? It was good. It was good. My family doesn't get wild for Thanksgiving What is defined wild because I feel like what do you mean by wild?
We don't like we just have a dinner like we don't do anything else Like that's that's that's it. My whole family comes over to my mom's house and we just eat dinner And that's it sounds pretty wild, but for people for Christmas We have a huge Christmas Eve party every year and that gets wild They know there's like lots of wine and we play a sweet white elephant game and there's always like people people just like show up at My house that there's always just an open invitation to all these people So we could have upwards of like 40 people at my house for the Christmas party said the my invitation invitation hasn't shown up yet So probably true that there's an open anyway, that's a little uncomfortable Yeah, you're more than welcome to you have to bring a casserole and a white elephant gift under $50 is under $50 I don't care what is it $150 elephant. I bet I could find that at brass armadillo. I bet you good I love brass armadillo.
I think I'm gonna take that as a challenge nice You can you know you can find like a different colored one and paint it white. That's fine Well, I'm just gonna aim for elephant initially aim for elephant is a great band name Oh, I don't know I feel like you could get a little in trouble with some of the No, what is fucking Jimmy John sponsor you? Yeah, I do too aiming for elephants and for elephants. Yeah, so you had dinner.
Yeah, thanks. Giving so what kind of food did you eat? Well, we yeah, so my did you eat a turkey? We did so we always buy two turkeys and two hams because Inevitably one of the four of them will get fucked up beyond belief and will have to be not only thrown away But like no that one's for the dogs.
What yeah, your dogs eat better than people. Yeah, they do They beg horribly to and that's and my mom's like why do these dogs bag? You literally gave them an entire ham and their bowl. Yeah Mom's over there like carving the ham and the dog bowl.
Yeah No, and we have a Traeger, please sponsor Traeger the fuck that it's a smoker Motherfuck and my dad will smoke smoke to Turkey and a ham and then we will usually we just like bake a turkey and a ham So I'm still eating Thanksgiving leftovers, so I figure I feel like at this time. We've spent enough together It's by enough time together and done enough things. I probably should be considered part of your family It's true because I really like the idea of a smoke turkey. Yeah, I'm a very big turkey guy I'm not a huge turkey gal, but I'll eat a smoke turkey.
I So I get a look I don't know if it would be wild or mild, but I get it gets real serious for me around Thanksgiving. Yeah, I I have a Probably borders on ritualistic Set of things I like to do sure sure it starts 24 hours before I cook because I start the brine Oh, yeah So the preparation for the brine for the turkey is very therapeutic for me sure So it's actually very hard for me to want to go do Thanksgiving somewhere else because I have like this controlled thing I like to go through but I kind of created like through years of weird experimentation this brine mm-hmm that fucking rocks nice What's the what's the base flavor? I'm not gonna say what's in it. Okay, so I will say the one thing I do that's different some people use Granulated or can'ture I use actual powdered sugar.
Mmm. It's a very different taste different texture. Yes So there's a lot more that goes to it But that was a happy accident because I was like I mean I need to put some sugar in this fucking brine and I was out of Granulated sugar and you're like well this will do and it was way better way different happy accident. Yeah holiday accidents Yes, so I'm I take I take Thanksgiving very seriously, but I enjoy it so I have a lot of like like I said there's a lot of it's one of the few holidays that I have like a lot of like actual like What's the word I'm looking for?
You know like that traditions traditions sure sure sure sure listen to this wack-ass shit, okay? I want to hear it. It's a Paul likes that one Paul's also joining us at the table today, but he's trying to be real quiet about it So okay, listen to this wack-ass shit this wack ass holiday shit is my my mom and my aunt make this dish for every holiday and it is Weird stick with me bottom of the casserole dish lime jello with pineapple in it. Okay.
Okay. That's fine Yeah, tasty almost leans towards dessert right lime jello pineapple. Okay next big fat thick with two C's layer of cool whip cool whip cool All right, Jello cool whip. That's fine.
That's the base. That's the base and then to top this shit off. They sprinkle generic ass regular ass cheddar cheese on top I don't know that I don't like where this is going. No, that's it.
That's where it's going It's jello with pineapple a thick ass layer of cool whip and cheddar cheese. So I go that's a fucking thick layer Yeah, like it was like two C's. You're not lying. No.
Yeah, it's jello And then we cool with probably two inches and then fucking cheddar cheese on top. They make this shit. No It's like it's cold. Yeah, it's served like jello.
It's like jello It's like jello fucking my mom and my aunt love it love it and I found out this year that my cousin my sweet Baby cousin who I thought was on my side was like, oh, you know, it's actually not that bad. I was like, oh, no Oh, ultimate betrayal so that my mom and my cousin my cousin and I my other cousin were like, no, no, no, no No, this is gross. That's just gross. And of course my mom had to pull out the we'll have you tried it Well, I know I haven't tried it because it's gross.
It's whipped cream with cheese on top. That's fucking gross It's unfortunate because now they've got a younger generation that's bought in I know what I could have just left with them at Something I know now some other bullshit's gonna drag this through history But I actually tried it this year like my cousin Gabby and I we we bit the bullet and we took a bite and it was guess what it was fucking gross Well, yeah, I'm not I'm not guessing There's there's empirical evidence. It's yeah prove that this is a bad fucking idea bad Am I I I wonder what that I wonder what it connects with them on that for that level? You know what they both said that they grew up eating it my mom is like my mom grew up They would be a good church all the time and my mom was like every church hot luck function thing would always They would always have this weird ass jello and they called a salad.
It's called a jello salad course. Yes, right? It's wack fucking salad. No, it's just gross.
It's just gross But it's not you can't feed it to a horse. You know you know they're trying to feed macaroni salad to a horse Well, like that's why none of that shit could be called a salad in my opinion It's like a fucking on like a herbivore eats or could he wouldn't omelet eats Yeah, so that's wack so that fucking what do you call that atrocity? I just call it the green jello The green jello bullshit I mean I feel like you should fucking one year just take it throw it out Oh, I've tried or what a lot of times what we'll do is if we have stuff that we need to keep cold We don't have a lot of fridge space. We'll just put it out like on the deck Yeah, it's cold out and it'll stay cold and so I always try my own be like oh go bring in the stuff from the deck And I'll just yeah, I just try to leave it out there or like oh it fell off the side of the deck even squirrels and shit won't touch it Yeah, that's not good.
It's fucking if a tree marmot won't eat your food. You're probably isn't good for family members And this is what gets me is that I fucking like jello and who doesn't like some cool whip But it's the cheese. It's the cheese. I'm raising my hand at cool whip.
I'm not a cool whip fan I like ready whip that comes out of the can and I scored it right in my mouth. Yeah Rub it against my gum sauce. Yeah. Yeah, that's that's a lot of fun.
It's a lot of fun. It's clearly Distractions so switching gears, but in the same vein. So are you prepped for Christmas not in the slightest? I have bought one Christmas gift so far as for my mom and she texted it I bought yesterday She texted me at like seven o'clock in the morning and sent me her Christmas list The top for Christmas list was this item that she wanted And I was like why are you texting me this at seven o'clock in the morning?
Don't you know? I'm really hung over. No, of course she does. Of course she does when I don't come home on the weekends She knows but then I had some time to kill in the afternoon And so I made the royal mistake of going to the mall on a Saturday in the middle of the day You know ten days before Christmas and I was too high And I went to I was like I'm just gonna walk around I'm just gonna like I like to do that every now and then To What am I fucking trying to say?
I just like that's like something I like to do around the holidays like enjoy the all the Christmas decorations Spirit of it. That's very festive, but I was like instantly anxious. There were so many fucking people of mall Everybody was in a bad mood the Christmas music was just a little bit too loud And so I just made a beeline for pottery barn and then got the fuck out of there. Oh, yeah I got it.
I have one Christmas present for my mom. I have no idea What to get for my siblings? My siblings are all kind of at like very different stages in their lives And so I have no idea what to get them and my dad's only really hard to shop for but I usually pull through something I Get certificate to like a erotic massage parlor. That sounds about right.
Right. I mean, that's what I got him last year But he used it right away. So it's like, you know, it's good. Yeah, go with the old faithful.
Yep. I do Yeah, I don't know. I'm not ready. I like to wrap presents So at work we got our Christmas or work Christmas party a couple weeks ago And I had to wrap all the gag gifts So these were all these are all inside jokes for like employees that I barely know I just started working there But I had to wrap all these gifts.
It was a lot of fun made mostly because I got to lock myself in an empty office and Watch a lot of good insight into those people. Oh, I know. You know, no, I know I do it I gotta say I fucking crushed it this year. Yeah, yeah, normally I feel myself being a little under the gun after a while But like in most regards I still probably get things done early, but sure like Sarah gave me a good list and I had like some really good ideas for Max.
So I kind of had everything done before Thanksgiving. Damn nice However, there was this one thing I made a decision that I was gonna get for the family Mm-hmm and there was a deal going on a target for it on black for a doorbuster. Oh sure so Sarah and I at fucking 5 p.m. Thanksgiving day target and it was very objective base It was in an hour, but you know we had we had been drinking most of this because that's one of our little traditions I think giving sort of got a little buzz going had just eaten a shit ton of turkey and stuff and Headed in there and there was a line out to the street and shit But it was moving in so we got in line and we got in there It only took like 20 minutes and we have it was like I used to work retail Mm-hmm way to the day and I vowed I would never do inconvenience Yeah, tell employee with my presence on a black Friday Yeah, I've done it twice in like that number of years, but I couldn't pass up that deal So I went and did it and I'm not gonna say what it is because I'm worried that they're listening they're listening to us My family went to Bass Pro Shop at 2 30 in the morning Probably five or six years ago now And you know why we went we went there on black Friday This is what we wanted because my dad wanted jeans and they had Wrangler jeans on sale for $10 Do you know how many pairs of Wrangler jeans my dad bought?
15 he bought 15 pairs of Wrangler jeans at 3 o'clock in the morning on Friday at Bass Pro Shop And he made the entire family go with him right so 15 pairs of jeans and Wrangler's mind you mm-hmm We all know what that equates to I mean, it's definitely a dad thing yeah, but but why 15 because he couldn't beat the deal yeah Londra gets done probably once a week you're right You're right Oh, I know because there are still Wrangler jeans in the tag still on them But to be fair in the future he's like when shit hits the fan society collapses right right we're gonna have fresh Bear rank a little bit of doomsday prep there realize this is gonna be a call-out people are gonna see fresh pair jeans and know the guys Mark yeah take him down yeah Yeah, I thought I was pretty ridiculous, but to be fair my dad to be fair my dad to be fair my dad does go through jeans Pretty quickly in his line of work and he gets a diesel on them or oil and oh he's a he's a he's a Be-owns a geothermal business. No shit. Yeah, she does. Yeah, she's gonna go through them up this place But they should they the way the land is laid out.
It's not good for it And fuck it's too expensive now if you cut me a friend's a family discount I'll eat that fucking jello. He can give me that 20 give me that 20% off My dad doesn't need any No, no, it's literally just my mom and my aunt and now I guess my trader cousin so who's dead to us now? Yeah, sorry Well The timer says 58 seconds 55 no, we're not gonna do that anyway. Okay to finish up this segment real fast favorite holiday movie Favorite holiday movie oh man, that's a fucking big one Actually last year was awesome.
We watched die hard with max for the first time Aww, and he had never seen it and I'm never so that's kind of a new tradition We decided last year we'd start watching die hard on Christmas with the boy. So yeah My favorite holiday movie is a direct tie between home alone and white Christmas. Oh It's too kind of very different holiday movies. Yeah, right right well one's classic and one while I guess Consider classic even though I saw that motherfucker in the theater which one come alone nice.
Yeah Hey It says you top talking you'll stop talking you stop talking all right stick with us. We're back We're back we're back we're back we're back. We're back. We're back.
We're back. We're back. We're gonna do some yes or no Yeah, it's time for that segment that segment yes or no Yes or no, okay, we have naturally we have holiday themed yes or no questions as well as some yes or no from our Facebook page Oh have a couple of those are not necessarily holiday themed, but that's fine. We're gonna start.
Okay Well, let's start with the let's start with the ones from our Facebook page. Yeah. Yeah, let's do it those so the first one is pineapple on pizza Yes or no, okay, so I'm fucking hard. No I'm a I'm a soft.
No, but I'm a no there's one of those things where I was like fruit on pizza is not for me So I never tried it, but then I tried it and I was like well It's so I've got some I've got some evidence to support my my opinion okay At one point in my life people would have referred to me as a pizza man. I Was a manager at Happy Joe's names. I worked in pizza for years. Happy Jason.
Happy Jason I Am sorry Usually dry drunk dry drunk yep, but you watch what pineapple does when it cooks it releases all this moisture It just makes for soggy pizza. You're right. It's fucked up. Yeah, it's fucked up Dude, I love like it's like pineapples like I like to have it's like a cool refreshing treat at the end of a meal or something like that Oh, I know what I mean.
Yeah, it's like I don't want hot I said pizza is a cooler refreshing. No, you call yourself a pizza man. Oh, I thought you meant ice cream Yeah, yeah, so I'm not no pineapple. No, I don't do warm fruit.
No, no one should I don't do it I don't like pie because I like warm fruit. I don't like it either I had some chilled peach crumble the other day though, and that was pretty legit I can fuck up some apple pie, but only if there's ice cream. I won't eat up Yeah, so no hard. No, I'm talking about it.
Well, and you're soft. No, so I think overall it's a no it's a no Yeah, so take that one. Thanks for putting that yes or no on the internet, but We're not gonna do that so nice. I already know the answer your answer to the next one because I we've talked about it for oh, it's Ska music yes or no Jesus Christ.
I'm a hard yes. I'm the hardest yes. I've ever been in my Second to slippers Listen, my name is Jaredy Coons, and I love sca music gripping the microphone I want I'm not ashamed I'm not ashamed the first concert that I ever went to without my parents is with my brother and I was 13 years old We went to people's court which isn't even there anymore And we went to see streetlight manifesto and real big fish and there was another band there I don't a big Ruby rodeo love or something I don't know I was a pink attention But it was great and I it was a great moment that I got to bond with my brother and I've loved sca music even before that I've loved it ever since and every time real big fish comes to town my brother and I go see him And I love them and I drink PBR way too much PBR and I wear pants that are probably too tight and I love sca music hard So emphatic yes, I'm not gonna take credit for this because I give credit what credit is do There's a meme out there that says it perfectly sca music is what 13 year old boys here in their head when they're going to a pizza party It's true. It's true.
It's like Fuck that shit. I love it. All right, so house divided house divided. That's fine.
That's fine I saw yeah, I saw your it's fine your sca music against it meme. It's okay No, it's fine. I love music. Okay.
Next one is aliens. Yes, or no. Do I believe in them the question was are they real? Yes or no, I say yes.
Yeah, I mean yes. I'm a yes I think my cat is an alien I have two cats, right? And one of them is very cat like she's very a normal a very normal cat and the other one just does some weird shit every now and then And I have a working theory that she is not from this planet So I think we have based on what we talked about last time we definitely know we could do a whole episode on ghosts Oh, yeah, we could also do an episode on this subject. Yeah, because like I guess I believe there are aliens I believe there is life on other planets.
Do I believe they're visiting us on spaceships and stuff? I'm not so sure I do because of the physics behind all that stuff But I have other weird beliefs that I do it that I cannot we can't go into for time's sake But just the word ultra terrestrial is comes to mind So yeah, also another word that comes to mind and look it up folks out there listening is liminal There's like a concept that they're called liminal spaces, which is interesting But yeah, it gets a little weird when you start talking UFOs and stuff because I don't know but yeah I'm a yes on that I mean yes on aliens. I'm a yes on aliens and just for funsies if you want a sweet fun Entertaining alien movie watch the Jimmy Neutron movie because I do thought that was pretty good It's for like a dumb Nickelodeon's kid show that Jimin neutron movie was pretty good. Yep.
I'm into it I'm pretty sure I have it on DVD. Oh, okay another question For yes or no from our Facebook audience did did he do it? Yes or no, it's not the man. I it's the no whatever.
I don't know. I mean so this is funny because like I don't really care Right you're asking a guy that fucking at that time was like listening to fucking Slayer and shit. I don't know Did he do it sure fuck it? Yeah, he's a piece of shit.
He did it. Yes guilty You heard of here. We're literally accusing. No, that's not the case.
This this particular subject is just a little bit before my time See so I don't even know what this question is for so what's interesting is it's behind my time sure and before your time It's in that window where we don't give a fuck. Yeah, I really care skip. Skip. All right.
All right. Yeah, come up with a better question fucking Jesus How about like did parking skiddly do do it? I don't fucking know did skiddly do do it. Yes Excellent.
Yeah, I feel guilty. All right. The last one we have from our Facebook audience here is driverless cars. Yes.
Yes. Yeah, big Yes, I love driving. I love fucking hot rods. I like tinkering with you, but driverless cars are would be sweet concept I mean, there's nothing to say you couldn't take your like I don't want to be that fucking old dude in the vet with this Navy hat on but But I will say can you imagine a driverless car if you're taking a road trip to Minneapolis You want us to sit there and drink some drinks or play cards with your you know I think that's a cool fucking idea.
See I feel like the concept is great, but I feel like the actual actual execution of it I'm not into it. I don't know. I don't think I don't think it would be for me I don't think that I would want to be in a driverless car. Yeah, I don't trust technology that much.
I guess So yes in general know for me. Hmm. Okay. Does that count?
I think that counts I think you're more of the implementation and you're you have a qualm about whether or not to be trusted But the concept yeah, I think the concept is great. Yeah. I mean, I think the it's inevitable. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. I mean It's definitely gonna happen to the trucking industry for sure. Oh for sure.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I actually had this just For an aside for a moment. I have this vision like that the interstates are gonna be nothing but lined like it's gonna be like railroad tracks They're gonna be so close to each other packed in that like they're gonna actually have to construct roads There for them and then roads that are for just regular use because if they can be programmed so they can stay you know Like think about if you create the first trucking company that's driverless you're gonna want to program them So they drive right behind each other to reduce gas so they like they're almost like, you know, what's that word? Draft each other, you know what I mean?
It's gonna be it's gonna be crazy. Are you looking at it? Is there ghosts over there? I know I thought I heard somebody come down the stairs and I probably did because you know there's other people in this house, but yeah People shall rename but I just keep like yeah, so I'm kind of intrigued to see how it goes now Well, that's great.
That's cool. All right. So I think you yes, yes, I'm up with my holiday thing. Yes or no Okay, the first one is ugly Christmas sweater parties not just the sweaters, but the parties Around ugly Christmas sweater.
So can I ask a qualifying question work party or a non-work party? Doesn't matter. I will answer into okay work party. Fuck.
No, okay part. No non-work party. Fuck. Yes, okay Okay, I don't like that.
I just don't like that they are ugly and when I mean work party. I mean at work, right? Right, right. Everybody gets to wear your Air-like planner.
Yeah, you don't like that they're ugly. I just don't like that they have to they like have to be a Just wear a sweater. Right. Just wear a Christmas sweater.
We're a hot stubble sweater draped in rape Hey, I don't like that. Dude, I was at the library and we were looking at like DVDs and I kept like Sarah I'm like hey, they've got the Cosby show. She used to really like Bill Cosby like a hero Yeah, yeah Until he turned out to be a major raper, right? And I was like, oh, this is awesome because now I can make rape jokes at the library I was like, yes, you want to watch some Cosby show and anyway, she's pretty kind of like a bus and ball So anyway, I like the plus them balls.
Hey, I just I like to bless the ball. The library. Okay, next one making gingerbread houses Yes, or no, I'm gonna say no cuz I've never done that. Huh?
You're done. It's never done it. Huh? It's actually pretty lame, but you should do it Say hey, this thing really is lame, but you should do it You should everybody should do it at least once well like the candy is always fucking old and gross and I you buy it You mean you're making it or eating it or both?
You want to do it you want to do both? Okay, so why are the candy is old because these fucking gingerbread house packages that you can buy from the store I probably packaged in like dry. Oh, they're packaged. You can buy like packages.
Yeah I mean if you want to like so I'm so out of that gingerbread loop that I have no clue about the intricacies intricacies of gingerbread instruction, right? Yeah, so I'm gonna say no on that one. That's fair. It's like yeah, that's fair Maybe I've missed something ready for the next one.
This is my ready third one. Yes or no leaving your Christmas lights up all year I have opinions about this I'm a no you're no I used to set them up take them down set them up take them down because we never had them attached to like Eaves or downspouts or stuff at my old house. We had columns in front and we would wrap them Okay, and I would do stuff like that. It's like you just couldn't get away with it.
Yeah, I also didn't yeah I wouldn't want to do that I feel that I feel that I have a I say yes, but it is situational so like all the big high-V stores They leave their Christmas lights on all year, but they just turn off and you can't tell when it's not right Because they're just off but they are like on the building, you know They're like you're not really paying attention I think that's easy, you know if you have the ability to like attach them to your house or put them on eaves Or fuck yeah, don't bother with taking them up and putting them down. Yeah, it's way more efficient Yeah, like our house was white so it would all be like you'd see all this shit wrapped around this white stuff So it's like whatever we talked I talked about maybe put lights up out here And I was like like I would only see it yeah, yeah, yeah I put Christmas lights up in my bedroom and I was like this is so cool This is so cool And then I was like the plug-in is all the way across my bedroom So I just hangs there just hangs there when I want to turn them off at night I'd have to get out of bed and walk across the room and on plug it I know I didn't think it through know thyself. I know what I know but yeah, so whatever I'm like well, I could just sleep with the Christmas lights on but I can't I can't do that I'm just heavily toast as you are you're right next one Driving through jolly holiday lights. Yes or no.
Do you see what this called out of me? Fuck no That is some lame shit Apologies aside to whatever fucking charities they support me as some bullshit It was done it once when it was at eventually under when it was at water works Yeah, it's like just garbage in a field with shit strung on it It's like fucking Jesus Christ and this is it is so goddamn Des Moines it is it's fucking if you want to do jolly holiday lights better Go to the beerdale. Yes the neighborhood north of the good sons. Yes.
Yeah, the blue. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah That's true holidays. Yes fuck. I holly jolly.
Holly. Holly lights fucking bullshit. Yeah, lame So if you're not from Des Moines if you're not from around here, and you're wondering what the fuck is jolly holiday lights It's it used to be in this big park Over kind of on the well like East side or like the north side of the morning I don't fucking know no dude like south of downtown little south of downtown like but near gay near grace lake And you would everybody get in the car and you drive through and you'd pay like $25 for a carload to drive through this park And they have Christmas lights up and each set of Christmas lights is like sponsored by a local business or whatever And all this money goes to the make-and-wish foundation and but it is like super dated and really lame And it's the same every year and at the end you can like pay more money to get your picture taken with Santa in this Very cold not heated hut and everybody's mad and it's fine. My family does it every year Cheesy Jello under their faces We did it last year and we all had to get the cars on my dad drove my mom's in the passenger seat my aunt And my uncle and my cousin were in the middle row And then my other cousin and I had to sit in the trunk of my mom's car like in the back of my mom's car like station wagon or something Yeah, yeah, and when we were like ten that would have been so fucking rad that we had to like no seat belts The car was sitting at the back we knew but we are both in our 20s now and it was just like ten minutes in I was like this hurts my back And jolly holiday lights if you go on like a busy day it takes you like an hour to drive through this people are driving you know Like one mile an hour can't fucking stand it.
Yeah, and when you said Christmas lights, that's a misrepresentation in my opinion It's like they created a frame. Yeah, rap lights around it's like to me Christmas lights is a scene like Yeah, and it's like this is like it's they're like animatronic almost and it'll be like an elf shooting a basket Yeah, and then he shoots the basketball and it's like over the you drive under it And there's a basketball hoop on the other side, but it's all crazy. Yeah, it's pretty lame But again hard fucking no I I enjoy the it's very wholesome. You know, it's very wholesome and I enjoy that so I'm into it I don't know last one house divided house divided again.
That's all right last one Yes or no taking your kids to sit on Santa's lap at the mall. Whoa, I did not expect this level of Contemplation so I've done it once you you have sat on Santa's lap. I took my son once Okay, how old Santa's lap it was probably two or three okay? It goes literally against every instinct I have yeah I don't even think he the thing is just like parents do this stuff and they don't the kids don't give a fuck right?
So I'm not I don't even think I have a positive memory from that. Yeah, so I'm gonna say no No, I'm a no to and my mom would probably snap my twig off the family tree If you heard me say that because I my mom told me to sit outside his lap every year and she takes the picture and she turns Into a Christmas ornament and so my Christmas tree is full of pictures of me and my siblings sitting on Santa's lap for Yeah from age like newborn until like 12 So she loves it, but I was yeah, I like never cared I was like I have to dress up in a dumb outfit that I don't like and I get a tiny candy cane afterwards a mini one Can't even spring for a frigging full-sized candy cane Bogus yeah, I'm not into it When I worked at the daycare We would have somebody dress up like Santa and come in and then we would take pictures with this Santa all the kids We get to sit on this like faux Santa's laughs strangers Yeah, the strangers almost person And I just watched so many little kids like scream and cry because it fucking stranger They want to like hold them and make them. It's like I'm not into it. It's not for me.
Yeah, no I totally get it. I totally get it. Yeah, well that's all I have for my yes or no so I love the differences between you have long Questions and you string words together. I might have very short and compacts So I am gonna say so my man holidays, okay season itself Cranberry sauce no Care to explain I feel like you know is emphatic.
I don't I'm not again. Okay, warm fruit and Cranberry sauce in my humble opinion categorizes itself as warm fruit So I'm not into that. I also I'm not into foods that take the shape of the container that they're in So I'm not into that. I also don't like cranberries.
So yeah, it's a fucking solid It's gross, but it's no it's still no, but I will this is a little plug for living history farms last year for Christmas I got my mom historic dinner tickets to living history farms where you go and they make you all this food and you eat it in the Old house and it's cool and they made a homemade like handmade cranberry sauce They made it the way that they would have made it back in the 1900s and that was pretty delicious That's cool. It was it was different. It was totally it was more like a sauce and not a cylinder, right? Yeah, so what's interesting is like well because that's the way we would a ceramix is like a sauce And the funny thing is it always ends up that like 98% of it is leftover and then no one eats it It's not on the garbage.
So I'm gonna know on that as well. Okay, so continue on the holiday journey This may or may not be something you're aware of it. I'm gonna ask I'm ready the national the Purina national dog show Yes happens every year after the Macy's Thanksgiving day parade and we fucking watch that shit. We love the dog show We are a huge dog show that is our tradition the biggest that's like a new one that started with us and for Last time years man, that's what we've done every so we rock those mimosas Oh, yeah, and we're watching that shit and we root for there's a couple of dogs.
I got there's this little black one That's really hilarious. He's like a little skippy jumpy guy and he's fucking awesome Oh, yeah, very much baby yodel ask like I see am I go Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god Yeah, so oh and what's his name? Who's the the two guys that hosted? Oh, they're great.
Yeah, I don't know They're fine. I'm Seinfeld who was the guy who talked with he ran the publishing company Yeah, yeah, he's great every year and then this guy that actually knows, you know about the breeds of stuff We yeah, we don't pay attention We don't like follow the dogs. We just root for the dogs that are the same breed of the dogs that we have at home Oh sure, you know, so every year my mom's like to pug didn't win and I'm like yeah, mom We know never win right right? But yeah, we fucking love the dog show hell yeah, we do the same thing We were always rooting for the blue healer of course barely even in it right, but they pass over it and it's like Yeah, you just you see it in the lineup and then it's gone.
It's a always pep. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, there's a little silly dog That's what we always say.
All right. Yes dog show. Yes. I'm into it.
I'm so into it love it. Um All right We're presence on Christmas Eve That's Complicated okay, okay. Okay. I'm gonna go no oh I'm gonna go no I'm gonna go no for a couple of reasons I've mentioned previously that we have a big thanks or not Thanksgiving Christmas Eve party and we play this way out in game and so that's kind of opening presence But it's for a game and then we used to exchange gifts with my cousins on Christmas Eve But we no longer do that and I always want our rule was that we would after everyone has gone Home and it's just the family each of us could open one present on Christmas Eve We could just open one right but and then I would always get mad because I'd be like well I've got a fucking hunger for it now and I just want to open all of them Yeah, but I you can't and so in the more recent years we have done away with opening the one gift on Christmas Eve I mean just open them all in Christmas morning.
Yeah, see that was man I was curious because I know some families they almost open all of them Yeah, and then like maybe there's some Santa presents in the morning depending on how they do things right? Yeah, so we did something very similar whether it was you can only open one present on Christmas Eve And so it was inevitably the thing was when you're young you're like I don't open this and my mom and my mom and dad were really good about Like trying not to steer us too much. Yeah, sometimes I'd open the best thing that night Yep, and then I'd have nothing to look forward to this actually self-trained myself like I'm gonna open the thing from grandma Yeah, I know it's gonna be like a like a possum skull or something weird She's like what the I found this and Omaha for you. Yep, and so I'd open this fucking thing Oh, yeah, I'm like well at least I got all that other hopefully good stuff before to you know, there's a Teaching moment it is I agree I agree, but I'm a no one present on Christmas Eve Christmas tree yes very quick very quick we I have just I have just I mean you answer very quick Yes, I'm a no for fit or I'm a yes for fake Christmas trees because I have seen the destruction that can come from having a real Tree all the fucking pine needles fall off and they you can't vacuum them up because they that's not how vacuums work.
I don't know And they then they just like crumble and if it's literally falling apart how you supposed to put ornaments and shit on it Lights if it's just gonna die. I also don't like yeah, I don't like watching it die in my house at Christmas time Yeah, I mean, but all yeah connection to nature there for sure But also my probably my biggest one of my biggest fears is my house burning down I saw that happen because of Christmas tree because of a Christmas tree Right behind our house when I was in elementary school burned down because of a fucking Christmas tree That was horrifying. I have friends who have their house burned down because of Christmas trees And so I'm just why why do that I'm not saying that fake Christmas tree can't also catch on fire, but spontaneously right, but the yeah the spontaneity of it is a victory upstairs boy victory victory Yeah, yeah, fake tree pre lit. Oh, you don't even like to wire it.
No, see we have a whole once again ritualistic stuff Yeah, pagan if you will pagan, which is what it is. Yeah, I'm afraid. I'm a fake tree bitch. Yep.
Oh, all right last question All right holiday-themed traversing the scope of holidays ending on what naturally is the last holiday for us as workers Do you go out on New Year's Eve? Yes, yes the last two years. I've had a show on New Year's Eve and for probably the past Three years after whatever after the show or after whatever we my boyfriend and I at the time would go to Ames Because his friends and Ames would always throw a like a killer New Year's Eve house party and so we would always go there New Year's Eve three years ago was Undeniably like the most fucked up I have ever been in my entire life. Wow.
Yeah, like time travel shit. Yeah Like I yeah, oh yeah, black out black in black up black down The whole fucking rigmarole it was not permeated blackness. I woke up and I woke up on the couch and there was a pop-tart Like please tell me was like stuck to you. No, it was just I had just like literally passed out on the couch And the person's house that we were at just who was also a big party I just knew that like what I needed at that when I woke up and so he just like pre-opened the pop-tart package and just laid it on my chest And I'm sure that he had I'm sure that he had done that for me like after everyone had gone to bed You know, he's like picking up the cans and turning off the lights locking the doors And he was like, you know what you know what this little this little angel fucked up black out angel needs She needs a pop-dart in the morning and I did and I needed it so bad I never knew that I needed a pop-dart so bad my life that's on New Year's day So go out on years.
You've got it good. You're yes Yeah, I've converted to a no over the years because it's like I call it amateur night Oh, yeah, people that don't go out normally go out and just turn it all into a hot mess It can be fun. It can find I just I don't I won't go really say I'll tell you yeah I won't just go bar hopping. I won't go downtown.
Oh, yeah, but like if I usually I have something and I will go to that Yeah, that's not cool. I like New Year's Eve. Good. Yes.
Oh All things I We like to watch the ball drop that was a big thing Zee no, yeah, you know me all right. Well, that's it. Yeah, the ball is dropped on that segment Is dropped on that segment here. We go song of the show.
We'll be back. Yeah We're back. We're back. We're back.
We're back. We're back. We're back. Oh, okay.
We're back. We're back. We're back. We've got a serious session of yes or no there.
We did. That was intense That was a good lot of good information. Oh info. Yeah junk with two C's chunk with I mean, yeah I mean yeah, that's how it smelled.
Yeah, that was awesome. I really it was good I'm still kind of blown away by this. I know it wasn't yes or no, but this whole fucking like she's She's oh no. It's bad.
All right, so normally we do our song of the show here But today we're dashed a little bit of a holiday spice on top of it So it's got a little bit of a cinnamon kick. Cinnamon kick, a little nutmeg, a little apple log. Yeah, I was an apple cider vinegar. That's not a good thing at all.
So yeah, so we are doing the holiday song or of the show. Yarr. So with further ado, talk to me about holiday song. My, okay, I really do enjoy Christmas music, but only for a very short window.
I will only listen to Christmas music after Thanksgiving and up to Christmas day. Maybe the day after, maybe, but after the, nothing long after the 26th, it's done. We are done. Whereas my mother will listen to Christmas music starting at about the end of September and we'll listen to it until January.
So it's a nightmare at my house. But it's, no, but it's great. I really do like Christmas music. So my song of the show, my Christmas song of the show is Snow from White Christmas.
But I love the version that they do in the movie, but I really, really like Seth McFarland's rendition of Snow. If you've never listened to Seth McFarland's Christmas album, you should. He's such a crooner. I love him so much.
Seth McFarland, if you're like, I know that name. Yeah, the family guy guy guy. Has a Christmas album. Yeah, he actually has a good singer.
Yeah, it's awesome. It's so good. It's called Holiday for Swing or something. Anywhere's a real cute sweater on the cover.
It's great. But that's my favorite song, Christmas song. It's one of my favorite Christmas songs ever. It's not one that you hear all the time.
Yeah, I'm not playing the radio. That's the melody on that one. In the movie, they're on the train and it's the four of them and they sing it and they go, they get snow, snow, snow. It'll be long before.
Yeah, I'm not overly familiar with that one. Yeah, it's good. It's an old one. It's a classic.
Right. Yeah, yeah. But I definitely like the older Christmas songs versus the Les Christmas and Gimme Man. That's an over one.
I don't really give a fuck. If it's even like past 1972 or something, I don't know how to do it. Not into it. Yeah.
But that's my song of the show, Snow from White Christmas. But the Seth McFarland rendition. The Seth McFarland, which is a new rendition, which kind of contradicts your whole. At least I know what I just said.
But he sounds like he's a similar hero. But is it over-produced, though? No, no, no, no. It's very clean.
Like it sounds very crisp. But it doesn't. It's not like poppy or whatever. And this is surprising for me that I chose this song, because I have one very firm belief in this world.
And it's that Elvis Presley was put on this planet to sing Christmas music. Oh. And so I'm really surprised that I did not pick an Elvis Christmas song. Yeah, I always thought he was put on this earth to take wailudes and die on a toilet.
But that's just me. That hurts me. Yeah, I'm not an Elvis fan whatsoever. I can tolerate Kung Fu Elvis in the late 70s.
But I'm not an Elvis fan. I mean, there's nothing worse than a white guy that does black people's music. We can talk about this off air. OK.
Ladies and gentlemen, if episode four ever comes out, we'll count lucky, right? I know. I really love Elvis. So that's my life.
It's OK if you like Elvis. Love Elvis. That's one thing I've learned in life. It's OK for people to like things you don't like.
Yes. And it's OK for people to not like things that I like even though they're wrong. Fair enough. All right.
So Snow, so I thought you were going to say it was going to be. Oh, wait, no. It was bad joke. I'll take that away.
All right. I was going out the road of Informer by Snow, Horrible Rap Song. But you said Snow by Seth MacFarlane, performed by Seth MacFarlane, but from the movie, White Christmas. White Christmas.
Yes, sir. OK. Very good. All right.
I'm very excited to hear what your Christmas song is. So my song of my holiday song of the show is Dean Martin. Baby, it's cold outside. Yes.
Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.
Yes. Yes. Yes. That is such.
That's all. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. It's. Wow.
Yeah. I have a lot of feelings about this song. I have a feeling we're going to have a full nine minutes and 46 seconds of all this discussion. So let's go for it.
Yes. OK. Well, yeah. So I don't know.
I've always loved that song. My grandparents and my mother on my mother's side and through my mother enjoyed that song a lot. And it was commonly played in our home for the Christmas time frame. But when I got together with my wife Sarah and we started celebrating Christmas, she pulled out the Dean Martin Christmas album and then to other Dean Martin things.
And we started listening. And it is the go-to music for this household. And we just particularly loved that song. And I'm not really dialed into what the hell goes on in the internet, in the social medias and stuff.
Sir, because you're an old old man. Actually, I know way more than I am. But there's a lot of misconceptions around that song. Yes.
And based on the callers today. And it comes out at the same of the year, and it makes me mad, and it makes me sad, and it makes me want to burn people's Christmas days down. Yeah. Yeah.
I mean, I don't get that turned. But the thing is, to me, it's a real big misunderstanding. OK, I'm not going to tell anybody what they're feeling is wrong. Sir, of course.
Go for it. Yeah. Feel your feelings. But your lens may be different.
If you would look for it. And to me, that song represents so much of, and I wrote it down, the coy and pithy nature of that era in the way that men and women interacted with each other. Yes. It's cheeky, and it's romantic.
Yes. I don't get any kind of creepy vibe from that song. I don't either. Dude, dude, I'm going to say this.
There's not a single guy on fucking planet Earth that is attracted to women, or maybe a guy that's attracted to dudes that at some point in their young life didn't try to convince somebody to come inside and have a drink, or get together. Right. And it's like to think so, it seems disingenuous. And to the nature of that song, if you listen to it without being turned up about it, it's not that negative.
Right. I don't even see, I don't even hear the lyrics as him convincing her. It goes both ways. And I 100% believe that she has every intention of staying.
Totally. Right. It's a game. It's a game.
It's teasing, and it's cute, and it's yeah. She's fucking staying. Yeah, and conversely, I don't feel like it's almost a misleading thing either. You know how a guy could take it.
If you wanted to be the opposite of me too culture, or that kind of new culture that we have of understanding, where it would be like, we understand that side now better. I hope. Sure. God damn it, I hope.
But the other direction is you could say, well, she's misleading him, and making him feel like it's more there. And I don't even think that's happening in that song. I think it's fucking just a really clever song from that era. And I love that era of Christmas music.
I do too. I love that fucking song. Music, generally. I think it's the best one.
It makes me happy when I hear that song. Me too. And it makes my wife happy when she hears that song. Me too.
That's all I fucking care about. Everyone, yeah. Everyone in my family is super into that song. And we love all renditions on it.
Yeah. I love it. It fills me with holiday spirit. Me too.
And it's not even a Christmas song. They don't talk about Christmas in it. No, but it's like the season so much. Yeah.
You can tell it was a Christmas party that was happening that was due in the same place and whatever. And yeah, she has no intention of leaving. No. Not at all.
They're not. This conversation is not happening at the front door. No. It's on the couch on a long, low, slow couch.
On a long, low velvet couch. Yeah, I'm front of a good fire. Yeah. And they're sitting there and they're having a high ball.
And they're like fucking, it's like. There's a freaking relish tray on the coffee table in front of it. Yeah. That's it's it's it's.
There's a fur somewhere. Totally. Yeah. Rug on a carpet.
It's not a living room. You know what I'm talking about? Hell yeah. Sunken living rooms.
Sunken living room. The Sunken living room is just or no. Fuck yeah. Yes.
You have one. Dude, that was like a prime selling point. But anyway, so yeah, baby, it's cold outside. Dean Martin.
Mm hmm. Fuck yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Now here's something that I don't like there. And I'm pretty sure. And I could just be pulling this out of my house. But I'm pretty sure that there is a rendition of this song, Baby It's Cold Outside, by Nat King Cole and his daughter.
But it came out after he had already passed away. And so it's like. That whole thing sounds bad. Yeah.
So it's not like I mean, like it's him singing. You recorded it before he died. And they just released it. And then they like edited in his daughter singing the other part.
And like first of all, that's weird. Yes. And second of all, I don't like that shit. I'm taking advantage of like trying to make out final block on somebody's.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The whole thing feels gross.
Yeah. No. No, it's you can't top the version. You can't.
In which we referenced. In which we referenced. In which we explained why we are outside of the culture right now, right? I mean, oh, that was the other thing I wanted to say was that that song is totally in the zeitgeist of that era.
Yeah. Right. It's like, and if you can't separate yourself from that. Yeah.
From your current belief system to understand that, you have a lot to learn. Because life is full of gray and not black and white. Life is full of gray. Jason McAlle.
Like the skies outside today. They are the very gray. I will. Very gray.
Very Iowa. Fucking October and May. May. All right.
So hey, that was holiday music. That was holiday. We went long last segment. We went short this segment.
That's OK. You know what? Frankly, I don't really have a booze recap. Really?
I mean, I have been drinking water. I drink a big, speaking of a mosa. I drink a big ass mosa last night and it got me real good. Yeah, a little shampoo.
I could hear the dog and I have champagne upstairs. Ooh, you got all day? Yeah. Oh, I don't think I need that.
But I like to offer. OK. I like to know that it's there. So maybe we should just wrap this some of them gone out maybe.
Let's do it. What do you think? Let's do it. Well, I'd like to wish everybody out there a happy holiday with a Z.
Couple of holidays. You know, I just want you guys to party at the moon tower. I'll break and have as much fun as possible. Stay safe, make good choices with this holiday.
This holiday weather. What the fuck? This winter weather. It loves.
Yeah, I don't know. And I went to the weather around this time of the years, always. Yeah, just a young girl. Allow for enough space for the car in front of you.
Make sure to take a blanket in the car. Yeah. Just in case. Carry a shovel.
Don't leave your goddamn dog in the car. Ever. Ever. Stupid fuck.
Yeah. That's a that's a essence. Oh, yeah. I think so.
People that fucking treat animals. I don't care if you're running into the gas station. I will call the cops. Don't fucking take your dog.
Yeah. In your fucking car. You stick your dog in the car and when it's cold out or when it's icy or whatever. Just don't do it.
Fucking hate that. Now I'm turned up. Sorry. I was.
But it's true. Don't do it. Yeah. Somehow we went there.
Don't do it. But instead buy your dog a stocking with their first initial on it and hang it up over the fireplace and put some fucking treats in there. Get some gums and treats and jerks, some bones balls balls balls. Let those balls drop.
Jerk bone balls. Jerk bone balls. It's going to treat you right. Right, everybody.
That was what I don't know. It's third episode. It's fourth. Oh wait.
So I referred to the fourth episode. This was the fourth episode. I said earlier we probably wouldn't get to our fourth episode. We argued.
I'm pretty sure this is third. Well, who the fuck else? Whatever we don't know. Maybe.
Right. That's it. Thanks a lot, guys. And Mary.
Happy. Mary. Happiness. Miss.