Charles Spencer | A Very Private School | Boarding School | Sexual Abuse | AEM Podcast #92

PLEASE NOTE: We talk about sexual abuse in this episode which some viewers may find triggering. Today's episode is with author Charles Spencer.As I was preparing for the interview a line in his book really jumped out: "many of us left Maidwell with demons sewn into the seams of our souls."What a heart-breaking and powerful turn of phrase.One that I can really resonate with.Today he talks about his childhood sexual abuse at boarding school, bullying, his sister, Diana, going off to boarding school and the impact of boarding school on children. And what about the path of healing - what are the therapies and exercises that he has used to start healing? A very touching and powerful testimony to the legacy of boarding schools. What does he think of under 13 boarding schools?---Charles Spencer is an author, a broadcaster, a podcaster, a British peer and the younger brother of  the late Diana, Princess of Wales. He has recently published a memoir about his time at boarding  school called, A Very Private School.Questions for Charles:1. I would love for you to share what drew you to write your memoir? Why now?2. When did you first start to realise the impact that your boarding school experiences had had on you?3. When you think of Maidwell, what's the one word that comes to mind?4. In your interview with Laura Kuenssberg you mentioned how your sister, Diana, said to your father when she was left at boarding school, “If you loved me, you wouldn't leave me here” How did your sister leaving for boarding school impact you?5. “What we suffered was not just a separation from all that we knew and loved, but an amputation. ...it lacked the most important quality of a home: it was without love.”(P.9) How did it impact you, to be without love?6. The physical violence. What went on at Maidwell regarding physical violence and discipline? (P.68) (P.87)7. “To keep his abusive system intact, Jack relied on concealment, collusion and cunning.” (P101) Could you please explain?8. Bullying. Could you please talk us through some of the bullying you experienced and witnessed? (P.189-199)9. Sexual abuse. If you feel comfortable to share, what happened when you were 11? (P.206-216)10. The political ramifications. How might the decision making of leaders who have been to these schools be affected?11. “Fascinating aberration” (P.6) What do you feel about boarding now? Do we need to open a debate into this practice? Do we need to abolish early boarding? What are your thoughts?12. Other topics to talk about:1. Showing emotions or “blubbing” (P.62)2. Abandonment (P.64)3. “I had been sent away because I had somehow fallen short as a son.” (P.107)4. Making yourself sick in order to get an adult to show me warmth and sympathy (P.108---Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community Many blessings, Piers Cross http://piers-cross.com/