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John, Niki and LB phone in from their field assignments for another mission debriefing with headquarters, including a breakdown of John's latest public wheelchair-related incident, a spoiler-free minute on the new Zelda game, a look at the poster for some new movie about shoes, a discussion on whether blimps count as balloons, a brief consideration of when to tell your dog about Orson Scott Card, and homeslice, somehow even more. Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a podcast about navigating the cruelty, chaos, and wonder of our terrifying world. Niki, John, LB— and our producer Jordo— try to find meaning and clarity one or twelve subjects at a time: from the menu at Cheesecake Factory to a human man dressed up as Snoopy tucking you into bed. Who are we?: We are Niki Grayson (https://twitter.com/godsewa) (the Buster Keaton of basketball), John Warren (https://twitter.com/FloppyAdult) (business boy and wassail pervert, short), LB Hunktears (https://twitter.com/hunktears) (handsome genius, 5'8", America's Gamer), and producer Jordan Mallory (https://twitter.com/Jordan_Mallory/) (frog with computer). Music by Jordan Mallory and Art by Max Schwartz (https://maxds.itch.io/). Follow the show: https://www.twitter.com/ifyouredriving Support us: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.