Happy happy Tuesday and welcome to the daily with so Stein here on anchor for today I'm gonna be doing the promo for chasing clarity So I'll be talking about my novel chasing clarity and I will be reading some excerpts I'll be reading chapter one and I may read I'm trying to see if I'll read all the chapters too. I Think I'll reach after two Yep, I'll be chapter one and two. So I hope that you will See this let me see or should I start with the prologue Here understanding and I hope everyone's having a great Tuesday so far. I'm gonna read the prologue and Let me see Think I'll start with chapter two Let's see I think I'm gonna start with chapter the prologue and chapter four because this has to do with Leo and prologue and chapter Two and chapter three.
So I'm gonna go into that. Anyway, welcome to the daily with so Stein on anchor Thank you for being here. And thank you for tuning tuning into my podcast. I will have a show Tomorrow Wednesday, I will talk about chasing clarity But I will also do writing tips and go back to the writers devotional and I hope that more of you will tune in I noticed that I don't have a lot of people calling in I was hoping I get some responses for closure But unfortunately I did not but I hope that you will call into the show or let me know what you think of the books and Hopefully I'll get more of you back.
I was I started to see a little bit of a decline I still get downloads, but I noticed more people were tuning in before and I want to go back and get all of you back So again, this is so be a sign from the daily with so Stein here on anchor and welcome to the show All right now first I'll begin with the way that I wrote chasing clarity Closure was my first novella published in it started in I started in 2012 published it in 2014 Which was July and August of that year and then Chasing clarity started in 2013 like early around national novel month 2013 But that summer I went through a Out this sorry to start all over again. Sorry not to get all rambled up the whole process began because There was a TV show that I watched I'm not gonna mention the show just because I don't want to involve You know situations where you know people might not like you talking about them or the situation I don't want to you know think that I'm taking you know credit for that or anything like that so but there was a TV show that I watched and there was a character in there that really passed away and In real life and seeing that play out, you know, this was back in 2013 I remember waking up to the news of it and and I just thought about how it felt You know especially for any of us that have gone through a big loss or lost anyone that's significant in your life Or heard of someone that was close to you or family or anything like that grief is something that no I mean, it's not very easy to talk about we we don't really do it as much and you never know when that's gonna happen Now at the time that I wrote this story was about that and but I didn't write it about the character I just wrote about a young woman going through loss a young woman who just came out of high school This is why this book is considered a YA because Mia Gerard is finished with with high school She's on to college or was going to be in college and then she suffers this massive tragedy Which is the loss of her beloved, you know, her high school sweetheart her her her love and then she you know What does she do? I mean, how does she pick up the pieces and move on and what what transpires and what's gonna happen next and and I started Thinking about this story when when I heard about that and I wanted to make you know to do it to do the story Right, but I was still going through the motions. What do I title it?
How do I do it? So I started writing it drafting it in national novel month that year and I did win that year 2013 or I got my 50,000 words Plus more but I I did it in the third person I had like a massive draft and it was called at the time I just called it clarity because I listened to that song by Zed and Foxes called clarity And I just got inspired by it. I kept you know trying to add more to it. So I had it with me I reworked it and I think it was in 2014 I wrote my first big draft and the arcs and then after that I I and then after that I went ahead and Started I published it in October of 2015 and I took it out and I really appreciated the the help that I got from it All the amazing editors that I worked with in the beginning Michelle lost and witty Regina Leanne who formatted it for me, but she did mention, you know looking back at the book She noticed that there was some some conflict with it like there was a lot of things that weren't looking that you know That maybe needed more polishing So I went back and took the book and kind of worked on it for a while And then in 20 before in 2016 2017 before my Great Lakes book bash event that I had in Michigan Which was awesome.
I'll be amazing authors Rachel Bronwell and all the amazing authors I met I went ahead and worked with a editor by the name of kib helder and wordsmith proofreading services worked on my book And they did a magnificent job, you know correcting these problems that the book was having because the story was great But there was some grammatical errors here there which took away from the story So one of the best advice that I got for this story even though the storyline was very good You know people would tell me I really love the story where the feelings that you gave me and what me has telling us But you know I advise you to find a good editor and I did and I spent that money And but I don't regret that because it was the story You know became more alive and and lively and everything fit better Not that my story wasn't good But be fixing these minor little things here and there really added or made the story shine So I hope you have not read chasing clarity. You'll give it a shot and read it. Um, it's on kindle for 99 cents It's on Barnes and Noble kindle edition. I haven't taken off the 99 cents I probably leave it on through February and then um, I also have it on Barnes and Noble new press I have the paperback of course you have to order that or you can message me and I don't charge shipping and those are about Close to 12 13 dollars for the paperback, but it is revised I hope you'll read it and take the time to do that and um and then I started working and published it again Um before the the Great Lakes book bash and then now I transferred it to amazon kdp Because now creates space transport all the books there and they did a magnificent job with my book And now I have it republished or it was a redone by them in in the 2018 last year So, um, I really like where it went and where it took place and everything that that it's gone through But it's like I said, the story is about grief It's about Mia Gerard and the loss of her love and I'll be right back to read more of uh to start on the excerpt of the story And thank you for joining me here on the daily with stillstein on anchor And welcome back to the daily with stillstein here on anchor.
It's all about chasing clarity. So i'm gonna start with the prologue now Prologue part one when I looked into his eyes. I couldn't keep from crying. He had been so long since I felt this way Mia, what is wrong?
He asked I cast my eyes down to the ground and bit my lip I blocked his voice and didn't want to hear what he had to say This wasn't leo and who would never be like him. Where are you leo? Come back to me my love Grabbing my purse. I headed for the door.
I'm sorry henry, but I have to go now You're leaving now. He added Uneasily I nodded. Yes. I have to go now.
Mia. Please don't go. He pleaded his tormented face broke my heart But I felt Entrapped and then he to escape suffocating me So this is where we see mia start off and this heartbreaking story It begins tragically because it's about loss and grief and when I wrote this story It was very complicated To write about because um, it was about loss and it took on a whole new medium for me Later and I'll explain more about that after i'm when i'm done reading Um, i'll tell you more about that on the wrap up of this show But um, i'm gonna begin now on chapter two after the prologue And i'll read a little bit of that Sorry about that. I'm all over the place today Dear diary The day that changed my life forever was a on a cool busy day in late august 2013 the weather was not surprising for michigan Being born there and after being born and raised there I was used to the severity of the winter weather and the unpredictability of summer Still the chill in the air that evening said an uneasy feeling within my heart My phone began to ring off the hook really late one night then my phone began to ring off the hook really late one night Oh, no, how am I supposed to answer that now darn it?
I took a step forward and swallowed the pain inside of the eerie feeling I had as I answered without looking at the caller ID Hello, I said barely breathing. Yeah, are you awake? The voice of the other end of the line asked yes. I am then I recognized who was calling courtney.
Why is she calling me so late? I hope everything's okay Yeah, i'm sorry to call you so late, but I wanted some I saw something on the news a few minutes ago Okay, I said cautiously noting the pause Courtney, are you there? Her silence intense intensified my worries. I gasped her air and gripped the proponent in my hand waiting for her to say something After about five minutes this seemed to last a lifetime.
She finally spoke. Yeah, I don't know how to tell you this By now the pain in my chest was almost unbearable. I gritted my teeth Courtney, what is it? I asked oh goodness.
What is going on? I think some oh goodness She said Courtney. What is it? I asked But then for myself I was telling myself what is going on with me Then she spoke.
I think something terrible has happened to our guys What do you mean? I could by this time I could barely speak. Listen Mia. I overheard on the news just now, but there was some type of accident after the game I love Courtney, but she could be a drama queen at times Subside it was a sip.
I was having a panic attack So you automatically thought of Leo Gosh, I hope she's wrong. I thought to myself No, I've been calling Matt for the last two hours with no answer. Courtney, please listen to me typically breath to stay calm Mia, you know, it's not like mad to not answer me. Please calm down.
Let me try Leo's phone. Okay, Mia. I hope you have a better look I doubt Leo's number and tried to remain calm, but the pain in my chest increased. It has shook more with each ring Finally, I heard someone pick up and I heard and I heaved a sigh of relief.
Oh, thank goodness Leo Mia, this isn't Leo. It's Matt. Hello, Matt. Can you please call Courtney?
I said struggling this week. Mia listened to me He said I didn't want to hear it. It was as if I knew something had had happened Okay, Matt, please call Courtney. She's losing it.
Mia, listen to me He exclaimed something and his voice told me I couldn't fight it anymore. Goodness, Matt. What is it? Mia?
There was an accident and something terrible has happened to Leo I honestly don't remember what happened next. My mind went blank Mia Mia Mia, please Mia. What's going on? I can't breathe.
Yeah, Mia Courtney scream everything turned dark All I remembered was the point my recited for my love Withering moments getting my getting my head and then I see your face I begin to see what is only an image you've gone and will never be back inside I'm dying And each time I recall the moment you left me the way for the day when we will be together Until that day my heart will never man. I will long for you forever. Mia and we'll be right back with the next chapter Thank you for joining us on the daily with sillstein on anchor And now we're back to chasing clarity Uh the next chapter here on the daily with sillstein on anchor Chasing clarity is my book that I published back in october 2015 And I recently took it out again last year on 2018 because it was updated through amazon kdb All right now we go to chapter three A little bit of chapter three here A year has passed and I still can't help but cry when I recall getting word of Leo's passing the days that came after that I've I've struggled to get out of bed every morning since Leo's funeral Oh, I struggled to get out of bed the morning of Leo's funeral. Sorry.
I dreaded being around everyone Not to mention Leo's parents after all the dances and I was so close It was so hard to look in their eyes and not break down. I felt so helpless. I needed to keep it together This was like some horrible nightmare. How could it be happening?
We just graduated from high school in june This made no sense. Oh goodness. I want to scream so loud and just disappear Leo's face began flashing through my mind I looked through I looked around my room and tried to shake away the thoughts of him But his image was everywhere pictures behind me were all of us I don't know how I'm going I don't know how I'm going to be able to take all of the to take all of this today since the news came I haven't been able to even leave my room passed out for a while after receiving the confirmation from that but Something better happened to Leo and then I woke to my mother and best friend Courtney standing over me Kayla was there too outside my room. I hurt my dad talking to Leo's parents.
They were crying I wish I I wish I had been able to hug them but I was too weak and still in shock We don't remember what happened after that. I think I fell into a deep sleep I wish I could have stayed that way In my dreams Leo was with me and nothing had changed We held hands as we walked outside the school He smiled at me and then placed his varsity jacket around my shoulders I could tell by the tree swaying around us that it is if it was cold Halloween decorations adorned the outside of the school building. It was October then I saw the snow on the ground We were at last year's winter formal. I pictured this beautiful image I was brought back to the present day by the sound of my mother's voice Mia honey, are you up?
I hesitated before answering and then took a deep breath Yes, I'm up. I look down for fear. She'll catch me rolling my eyes. Mia.
I know what you're doing dear Oh And what is that? I asked come on dear. I know you since I didn't want to fight with her I decided to get up fine mom She looked at me as I got up out of the bed. Mia.
Are you sure you can do this today? Once the words came out of her mouth. I tried very hard to contain myself. What do you mean?
Honey, I'm just worried that you won't be able to get through this day. Mom. I'll be fine. She sighed and shook her head Okay, Mia.
I'm sorry. Look mom. I know this is going to be a very hard day So place her hand on my shoulder. Yeah, please calm down.
I couldn't control my anger I shook her hand off my shoulder. I'm going to be at Leo's funeral. So stop telling me how to feel Mia, please stop. She yelled and she held her hands up.
I began to cry Please forgive me mom. It's okay, honey How am I gonna get through this? So I look around the large crowd of people walking towards me. My first reaction was to run I didn't want to talk to anyone.
Goodness as if this day wasn't hard enough I knew this would this is what Leo would have wanted It I took solace in knowing everyone who loved him is here Or who loved him was there still I couldn't help but gasp at the thought of having To speak in front of all of them. I just didn't know if I would be able to gather the courage This wasn't fair. We just graduated back in June. He was only 18 years old One month shy of turning up or turning 19.
Why did this have to happen to him? It was at this time I questioned it all. I was raised Catholic and I know God exists at the same time Why did he have to take away all that was dear for me not to mention Leo's parents He was an only child the only child they had. How are they how were they going to live without him now?
This is what made everything so hard to process. I'm an only child too The last thing I would want to do is cause this kind of pain Sure, my mom drove me crazy at times, but I wouldn't trade my parents for the world I would never want them to experience this kind of pain Can't imagine the loss being any easier for the dances Not that this was Leo's fault No, I blame the reckless person driving that night. Didn't he realize what he did. Did he even remember being at the wheel?
No, I'm sure he didn't care even remember. I'm angry and I just want to scream And we'll be right back with the wrap up of this Show about chasing clarity and the excerpts that I read we'll be back And now it's time for the wrap up of today's show of the daily with siltine here on anchor I wanted to do this show to um, let you know about chasing clarity I'm doing the promo this week all about chasing clarity I started with closure last week And then tomorrow i'm doing another show for the daily with siltine on anchor speaking about chasing clarity And then focusing on the writers devotional by author Amy peters and going into that I really hope you'll call in and contact me about my books or any questions you have on them And i'll be happy to answer them I do have a live video on instagram and I also have on my insta stories if you want to check those out And i'm on twitter as well, although I haven't really promoted too much on twitter I promote certain articles and stories, but i haven't really done like what I do with My author facebook page or instagram or here on anchor speak to you about my books lately Anyway, um, I want to say thank you for joining me I hope you enjoyed the story of the excerpts that I read But I wanted to say on the wrap up This story took a new meaning for me When I wrote it after I wrote it and published it. I went ahead and re-edited it back in 20 I think it was 2016 no actually not 2016 in 2017 when I re-edited it By the amazing kim huler and werdsmith publishing services. Um, sadly In 2017 I had a huge loss myself.
I lost my dear friend best friend and sister She was a my best friend growing up from back home because we got older She was more my sister than anything so anytime I said my sisters She was part of my sisters and it was a hard loss very try you know for me It felt unfair. I knew you know even if people were ill or sick you never expect to get that call Um, it was it's it's getting close to two years now And it's there's not a day goes by that I don't think of her I won't mention the names because I don't want to take away from our pay our pain, especially her family's paid her wonderful mother Her wonderful husband and her wonderful son, you know and all her family and friends that loved her But let's just say it was a very hard loss Grieving and in dealing with that and not that I don't know about loss because I have experienced loss with my father who had cancer back in 2005 And my grandparents who both passed away and it was very hard also. However, um For me this loss with my best friend she was still very young and she had a lot going for her And and she was you know dealing with a knownness is never easy Um, and it makes no sense sometimes when people leave and I know some at some point We all have to but it was really hard to deal with with the stages of grief And when I got the chance to I went ahead and reedicated this book to her Because even though when I started this book this journey was about a character that I had heard about passing away I think I felt more like Mia when my best friend passed away Um, it was something I never expected to happen like this I didn't get a chance to say goodbye. I did talk to her before a few days like that day or so before over the phone But because I was long distance.
I moved to North Carolina. She was back in Texas Um, not being there the way I thought I should have been made it very very hard And it's easier to talk about now, but there's not a day goes by that I don't think about her She's always in my heart and she thought she was one of the kindest, awesomeness persons ever And I was very blessed to have her in my life And I know she's still with me because I have faith that you know That has a plan and a purpose in my own take of things But I went through the phases of grief and as everyone goes through them and the different stages as Mia will in the story But um, I just wanted to reflect back and share that story because it took on a whole new meaning for me And it just just loved all those around you, you know, treat others with respect. That's my own message today Be kind to others. It's not hard.
Um, I know sometimes it can be hard But if you just let your heart, you know guide you Um, and this is just my own take on it Just try to treat others with respect and kindness and I really hope you enjoy Uh, you know learning about chasing clarity learning about Mia's journey I'll try to share more this week on her and I hope you if you have not read this story I hope you will do that But um, I hope you've enjoyed this segment of chasing clarity Um, on the daily with so standing here on anchor And thank you so much for the support and for downloading all the episodes of this show And I hope you have a wonderful, wonderful Tuesday. Have an awesome and amazing and blessed day This has been chase, uh, the daily with so Stein on anchor here with still Stein Or author Sylvia Stein, she'll be back with another show tomorrow Thank you for joining us and have a happy happy Tuesday. This segment was all about chasing clarity