Cheap Therapy Cheat Sheet by Tanja Lau

Cheap Therapy Cheat SheetTanja LauThis poem was originally published by Part-Time Poets. Issue 29.No excuses. Pick your next move:Some people scream into pillows, others nametheir grief Steve and set a place for him at dinner.Mine is called Ernesto, he’s Swedish and he’s a strangerto daylight, so I forgive him. Naturally, he likes to quoteKierkegaard. That guy knew a thing or two aboutconnecting the dots backwards. But it’s the partabout living fast-forward Ernie conveniently swallows.It still gets me every time. You know,Ernesto can be a bit dramatic. He always wants meto dress for my own funeral. But I pick the red backlessdress instead and microwave my lunch at 4 p.m. like Lady Madrid.Yes, it’s good china Wednesday. Everyday. Time to crackopen that bottle of champagne I’ve been savingfor a special occasion. What’s more specialthan being alive? After dinner, I serve two Oreoslike communion. (Take three, if you’re religious.)For dessert there’s nothing better than writingmy name on the mirror. Kissing it. (With tonguefor advanced patients). And then the grand finale:smashing the handmade mug from third gradepottery class and spending two hours reassembling it.Same same, but different. Just like me. In bed,I make a vow to never again miss a chanceto dance it out in an elevator. Ernesto wouldn’t approve.Who cares? He’s asleep by now.More from Tanja Lau ↓@tanias.butterflies on InstagramTania's Butterflies on SubstackListen to me read Rumors by Tanja on Instagram @rembrandts.cureShe is editor of SHAME/less, an anthology that brings together forty-nine poems by forty poets from across the world in a collection that moves, with honesty and tenderness, from shame to shedding.