Childhood Friendships

Question: How do we come to terms with the closure of a childhood friendship? What are ways to find contentment and peace when that friend no longer reaches out to us? Submitted by listener, Emily    our childhood BFFs Research moment: 1 in 10 friendships survive into adulthood   Children practice being a friend and there's a learning curve. Children are learning how to be humans and learning relationship is part of that. Cultural misunderstandings – childhood friendships are backbones of our relational lives Research shows that having childhood friendships matters, but social support is what really has an impact longitudinally. Study with middle schoolers: http://www.llcsjournal.org/index.php/llcs/article/view/214 Learning the effort of friendship from models and mentors in our lives Naming the complexities of relationship for one another   Friendship sometimes lasts for a moment, a season, or a lifetime. Some friendships will end, every friendship doesn't have to be a lifetime relationship The difference between guilt and shame when a relationship ends Listening to the Spirit and your spirit for deciding where to put effort in friendships Taylor Swift, Long Pond Documentary - https://www.disneyplus.com/movies/folklore-the-long-pond-studio-sessions/3Xlc0EjKtKpp values and personalities more important over affinities and interests Research link: https://www.realsimple.com/work-life/family/relationships/why-adolescent-friendships-end Concordia Publishing House values article: Honor the past as well as the present of the relationship v adding expectations, honor the other person's sacrifice as well   Growth mindset that allows grieving but also growing up. Friendships are best when the individuals grow in them, even if that means growing apart some people grow in the same direction and some in different directions, both are growth Non-judgment and letting people who they are Effort, asking for what you need, asking for what they need How to let go: allow yourself some space to grieve and be disappointed, connect with God's unchanging nature and friendship, experience grace around the friendship Honor it – reflect on good memories, consider what that relationship brought into your life and practice gratitude for the gift DBT with Dave – let the friendship be what it is ;)   Short answer: friendships have their seasons