Choosey With Your Love

Morning Mantra: "Choose people that choose you."

Over the years I have had a few relationships with people I love that were really difficult.  No matter how hard I tried they didn't care enough to try to fix and heal what was broken.

I used to think more patience would fix it. 
I used to think I could earn care by overdelivering love. 
I thought if I apologized faster, spoke gentler, forgave more, explained longer, the love and respect would arrive.
It never did. 

I learned the hard truth: loyalty to what harms you is not love. Forgiveness without change is not healing. Endurance without results is not growth. 

I am not a never-ending well of second chances. I am not a classroom where the same lesson is taught to people who never planned to learn. My time is precious. My voice is valuable. My peace is non-negotiable. 

So I learned to set boundaries and sometimes, to set them free.  To take their lack of interest and behavior as a true sign of how they felt.  I learned that no matter what I did, it takes two for it to work.  I learned that I had to stop MY contribution to the dysfunction- my co-dependency.

Now I focus on those that WANT a relationship with me.  Those that bring me joy not drama and pain. Who will put in the effort to make our relationship work. Let me feel heard, loved, chosen.

Time and energy are the most precious commodities and I will use mine where it is appreciated and reciprocated.

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