Citroën AX

I failed my first driving test at 17. Three major faults: two red lights and driving in the wrong lane. Strangely, I don’t remember a single red light—maybe that’s the problem. On the plus side, no minors. At the time, I was about to move to work at Butlins in Minehead, so we decided to postpone the test until I was living there—a town with one roundabout, one set of lights, and mostly one-way streets. Perfect for preparing anyone for the open road.The weekend of my test, my Dad came to visit so we could practice. True to form, he took me to Porlock Hill for hill starts. For anyone familiar with the area: yes, it’s one of the steepest in the country, with a tight hairpin bend. I survived the prep work and despite very shaky knees, I managed to pass the test. We celebrated with a pub lunch at the Hairy Dog on the High Street, and then he surprised me by taking me to a tiny used car lot. He’d spotted a little white boxy Citroen AX and decided it would suit me. My dad then waved me off to go back home with his nerves shot and I left with a driving licence and my very own car—a small white miracle.Driving into the staff car park at Butlins felt surreal. I called my friend Laura on my Nokia to see if she wanted a spin before our shift. She bounded out, hopped in, and we set off. The Citroen was a quirky beast—a choke that needed to be pulled out to get it started, a sticky accelerator on the motorway which needed a careful reach down and hand pull to release—but it had a CD player and I had the double greatest hits album by Britney Spears. Not the boy-racer soundtrack from back home, but perfect for our small seaside town adventure.Minehead had one road to Taunton and one road into oblivion, we obviously took the latter. We drove single-file along a country lane, blasting Britney, feeling ridiculously pleased with ourselves - until it came time to turn back. “I don’t know how to turn around,” I admitted. Neither did Laura. Every possible turning point ended in panic as we drove past. Eventually, she phoned our manager, Billy, who calmly coached us over the phone. I stand by it: a three-point turn on a narrow country road is no mean feat.A few more adventures followed. A drive to London, driving only to the hard shoulder. A trip to the NEC in Birmingham, where I completely underestimated the challenge of finding my car among 20,000 spaces, after making no note of where I had parked.A few months after the arrival of the AX the head redcoat asked if she could borrow my car to drive a few of them to a local funfair, I was working so couldn’t go. If I’m really honest I didn’t really want to lend my beautiful little car out but I was quite intimidated by her so agreed and handed over the keys without question. You’ll be pleased to know all was fine and keys were safely returned.However, shortly came “the 20p incident.” Every Friday, I drove back to Southampton to see my then-boyfriend. Auto-pilot engaged: fill the tank, check mirrors, jelly babies for the journey and drive off. That week, I stopped at the usual petrol station to fill the tank and… barely a dribble. The tank was already full. What I didn’t realise is when my car had been returned it had thoughtfully been topped up with petrol. All I could squeeze in was 20ps worth of fuel. There was only one thing for it and that was to march into the garage and hand over the 20p with absolute confidence. The staff, frozen behind the till, eventually took it. I noticed a minimum spend sign put up shortly after.Those weekly drives to Southampton were a comedy of errors. Inevitably, I got lost, once stuck in someone’s driveway who very kindly guided me out in their dressing gown, and more often than not calling my then boyfriend Chris in tears to come and rescue me.Looking back, I’ve never had a great sense of direction, literal or metaphorical. Many wrong roads in life including quite a few in that little Citroen AX – all have shaped me. But for all its quirks and misadventures, that little car was my first taste of freedom, fear, and the thrill of the open road. And I wouldn’t trade a single mile. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit toriecampbell.substack.com