Why an ATAR of 89.95 Still Felt Like Failure: Claire Tonti on Perfectionism and Self-Worth

If your child is tying their worth to a number, Claire's story is one to share. It is for parents, students and anyone untangling self-worth from performance. Have you ever achieved something others celebrate but still felt like you fell short? Claire Tonti is a former teacher turned musician, filmmaker, podcaster and CEO. She grew up in a high-achieving family quietly believing she was not smart enough, and when she finished school with an ATAR of 89.95 it still felt like failure. Her path did not follow a neat line; she found herself through creativity, performance and building communities. This is an honest conversation about unspoken family expectations, the weight of comparison, and why perfectionism disconnects us from who we really are. One score does not define you, but one conversation can change how you see yourself. What you’ll hear in this episode: • Why an excellent ATAR can still feel like failure • Growing up with unspoken expectations in a high-achieving family • How perfectionism disconnects us from who we really are • Creativity as an outlet and a lifeline • Helping a child feel enough beyond their achievements • Untangling self-worth from performance One score doesn’t define you, but one conversation can change how you see yourself. More Than a Score: Redefining Success Beyond School is hosted by Laura Pitt and Dan Steele, a former teacher and award-winning school leader on the Mornington Peninsula, Victoria. New episodes fortnightly. Subscribe to follow along.