Cleveland | This Past Weekend #235

Ah, good to be back. Hear that sound out there? Somebody revving their car? And two people fighting over a thing of, it looks like a thing of one of those flame logs, a fire flame, you know, one of those duralogs.

Yeah, it looked like a too hardy, hardy, hardy lesbian out there fighting over a damn duralog in the street and somebody revving their car at the same time. I'm in Cleveland, man. I'm at the hotel. I'm back from Maui.

If you hear that, that's just that calm that's inside of me. I'm back from that Maui. We here? Oh, hell yeah, boy.

Somebody just, somebody, you heard it? Somebody won that log. Somebody got the fire all themselves. Mahalo, Aloha, Kanichiwon, Baha'o, Madagascar.

I'm back. I'm that back of Lantern, baby. Put that candle in me because I'm lit. Let's get into it.

There's a song that I was, I just found out from a band called North Mississippi All Stars. And they've tuned into this past weekend. And they have a lyric from the podcast. It's kind of that they put into their music.

And so I'm going to play one of their songs right now. It's called Drunk Outdoors off their new album, Up and Rolling. And this is the North Mississippi All Stars. You got to check the tune out.

And they really get into it, man. And that band right there, that is North Mississippi All Stars. And that's a new album they got out there. It's in the universe and the atmosphere.

And you can go and check it out. And that is a song. And I hit the man up, Cody Dickinson, on his Instagrams. And I said, hey, is this true that you got to have heard this on the podcast?

And he said, yeah, man, we love it. And so it just really made my balls growl a little. You know that. All right?

Yeah, I'm back. I'm back from Maui. Oh, had a good time. Look, if you don't know, maybe 40% sure or something if you're going to heaven.

Because I think most people, if they're really honest with themselves, they come in at probably about 40%. So if you're about 40% sure that you're going to heaven, then you could go to Maui. And Maui is like, I mean, it's, dude, there are times I close my eyes. And I said, dang, man, if people, this place is going to give heaven a run for its money.

It just, I mean, it's romantic. You could be by yourself and it feels romantic. Dude, I felt like every time the breeze came by, it was trying to just, you know, just trying to get me back to its room. It was just that kind of, just that kind of spirit.

It was just something, you know, in the water will come. You'll be laying there taking a nap. And you think you slept. You're laying far enough from the water.

And about, you know, maybe 18 or 30, you know, 30 or 60, 50, kind of 40 minutes later, that water will start licking a chip fucking feet. You say, dang, what's up, bucket, buck, bucko. So it's, you know, everything there is trying to, you get home, you have somebody at beach will be in your pants and sand. You're like, what is it?

Who is it? What is it? And you're like, I hope this is, you know, some female sand. I don't want no, you know, male sand trying to get in my pants.

But you take your pants off and sand, I want you to sand, I want you to just sand, I want you to jump out of your pants. You said, well, damn. So just mother nature, that's where she really goes to just get on, I mean, Maui just wants to love you. And it really just wants to love you.

And, and I stay, I noticed after a bit that the, the ocean will start doing your hair for you. Here it, dude, I had, at one point, I had like a little thing around you right above one of my ears. You know, you got a little conch over there on the left. It's just like, you know, I look like a kind of like a, you got like a little seahorse kind of just hanging off that back splash.

I mean, it's, I look like, you know, shunk like, you know, like a conch queso, you know, just out there with just, just the, the ocean and everything will do your hair for you. But I had a wonderful time, man. I had, so if you haven't been to Maui, I totally recommend it. And they say there's different islands.

And I want to go back there and do a, a show soon. And I want to go to some of the different islands over there. And people just, people, a lot of people, I did think this. I felt like there could be, even though it's very wonderful, it definitely seems like a place where some people that might have done a crime would go too high.

It's got that kind of crimey, hidey sort of vibe, you know. But, but all of a sudden, man, I just took a week and relaxed. And then I, I got back into town and just decided to take last Sunday off of, of the pod. And yeah, I just wanted to have a little bit of, you know, just have a little respite, they call it, get a relax in and just get that feeling in my body.

You know, sometimes your body feels like it has like kind of a little bit of more comfort in it. So I was trying to get, you know, a touch more that comfort for myself. What else, now I'm in Cleveland. I'm in Cleveland and they got a couple of, they got some hardy, they got some hardy humans out here.

Cleveland, Pittsburgh over there. Bang, bang, bang. You had a show last night in Pittsburgh and who came out? So people I know Steve, my boy, week Steve came out.

And you got to know him for years, dude, and Steve, bro. He'll be shaking your hand, you don't even know it. That's how weak he is, bros baffling. This girl, Dizzy came, she's always, people think she's dizzy, but she isn't.

So she's got that. People are always like, you dizzy, she said, no, no, no, no, no, when she's always kind of dusted out, she's like one of those little dust muppets, you know, when she's always, you know, she never really been, she don't have a comfortable relationship with gravity, that's kind of how I feel it. Because most of us, you know, we're gravity addicts. If you thought, you know, most of us, you think, you know, you say, hey, what are you doing?

You're doing, I mean, we don't talk about it, but everybody's doing gravity. Everybody. But this dude, Dizzy, when she gets out there and she, she ain't really doing it as much as everybody else. So she's, you know, kind of living, she's kind of like that, she's kind of like a Native American when it comes to really force fields and stuff, you know, she's kind of doing her own thing.

She's kind of working freelance when it comes to the natural pull of the world. What else? What else is, I feel like, so I want to tell you more about Maui, I'll probably wait until I get back into the studio. I guess what did I do?

I went there. Oh, let me tell you this, you go to Mama's Fish House and they got, it's in Maui and it's nice. You get there, you're like, oh, it's too nice. You know, it's real, it's kind of, it looks fancy.

Dude, Frank, when I got there, I thought to myself, I don't want to steal something I want to go. That's how nice it was, that's my initial reaction. But instead, sit down, relax, even if you're by yourself. Get your little non-alcoholic beer, you feel me?

Get one of the crab cakes, I got the crab cake. That's it, get one crab cake unbuttoned your pants, welcome to Palestine, son. Shit is fundamentally good. It was definitely one of the best meals I've ever had and I was by myself too.

And yeah, when I'm by myself at a restaurant, I start to, you almost start to freak out a little. Because you start wondering if people think you're like in witness protection or if you're, you know, people kind of look at you like you. Maybe your spouse just passed away or something. They give you that, you know, they maybe give you a little extra bread or something half an extra little, you know, baked little croissant piece or something.

Because they think maybe your wife's gone. They think maybe you don't know what you're doing with your life. If it is interesting, if you go to a restaurant by yourself, people kind of look at you like, oh, maybe he, you know, maybe he's still trying to do skateboarding or something, but he's too old for it. Oh, one of the things that got me at the restaurant was the guy trying to upsell me on a soup.

Look, don't, I don't need it. Don't, the guy, you know, he's like, oh, they got omegas in the soup. Dude, I don't give a damn if Voltron lives in that best, dude. I don't care.

If I want the soup, I'm getting the soup, you know? He said it's got a rare carrot base. What the hell is that, buddy? That's nothing.

Dude, I don't care, bro, I don't care if you open my mouth and just drag me through Mr. McGregor's garden. If I want vegetables, I want vegetables. Just don't upsell me on it.

He told me, oh, we sprinkled the top of it with secrets, bitch. Don't care. If I want the soup, I'll get the soup. You know, I don't like being upsold with trickery words.

You know, oh, this, you know, the Harry Cauver was blessed by a cleft palate wizard. I don't give a dang, bud. Do not upsell me with the BS. Just give me the facts.

What is it? Is it soup? And if I want it, I'll get it. Yeah, now he said I went to Pittsburgh last night.

Went to Bethlehem out there. This dude came out, one of my boys from back in the day came out. He's three months clean off duster. You know, the keyboard kind of helps you keep your keyboard nice.

So he's got three months clean off that duster. So that was kind of nice to just embrace him. And we would always do that sound that in his ear all the time, you know, just a fricking, you know, get him squirling a little just to let his branches shake a little. But we had a good time in Bethlehem.

I hadn't been on stage in a couple of weeks. And it's kind of like, it kind of gets a little nerve. I guess is it nerve wracking? Yeah.

It gets you because you built up this immunity kind of, you know, the more that I'll be on stage, the more immunity I will feel a little bit, or at least just the more confidence builds up until you're just, you know, it's like you've been training almost. And then you take a couple of weeks off the training train and, uh, yeah, it was, uh, and it's nice, man. And it was really, really relaxing. And Bethlehem was great.

The show in Bethlehem was really, you know, it just, uh, I guess I'm just amazed how many people come out, you know, and especially since I, you know, change the dates and then change them back. I just want to thank you guys for coming out and supporting me. But into so many nice people. I mean, everybody was just really enjoying themselves.

Uh, I met a lot of people before the show. Um, we did meet and greet after the show and then everybody that wanted to come. So we had a good group. Uh, and I think a lot of people left, but a lot of people stayed.

And, um, yeah, it was just, you know, it was nice. It was nice because sometimes it's like, you know, with this job, you feel like, okay, well, and I guess since it's kind of new for me, it's like, okay, well, you know, if I go to the club or people going to be, you know, if I take a break or take, you know, you know, like a, take a little break or take some time off or people still going to be there. And you know, it was nice to see that people were, um, in Pittsburgh, they had something to do was blast in Pittsburgh. I don't think he was on drinking.

I think this guy was on something thicker. Like maybe, you know, maybe a friend of his had been doing a lot of smack or something or, you know, doing, I don't even know something and then he was drinking that guy's blood. You know, like maybe his buddy was damn drinking, damn quick creed or something or drywall. And he, uh, and then he was drinking that guy's blood.

It was doing, I mean, this guy was bent out. Um, so I hope he's doing a little bit better. Uh, it was a rock club, the place we were at, the places called the Roxie in theater. And it was cool, man.

They said they never had this was the first comedy show that they'd ever had there. So that was a new experience for them. And, um, and it's in this place called McKee's Rocks. And they said it's area for, um, human trafficking, but I didn't, I didn't see anything like that.

I didn't, I mean, only thing on the menu was even, I think beer and wine. So I didn't have any, you know, there was nothing to me that really, I didn't see it. I was just doing comedy, but everybody in the crowd looked of age and, you know, not being kind of purchased or anything. So, um, I said, I was at, and then came to Cleveland early, went to the Steelers game.

And that was, it blew me away how amazing the experience was. I mean, it's just people, I mean, they got some real, they got men and women with the same damn haircut. You know, you know what I'm saying? They got men and women with the same haircut.

And thank, thank, thank, every other person, they kind of had that wild old school kind of Pittsburgh, Yinser, that thing. And, and you'll see, bro, people like to eat before the tailgate. You'll see, I went behind a trail. The whole one do was injecting a slice of supreme pizza into his arms.

I said, Dang, bro, my bad, man. He was, I got getting bent out. And it's, yeah, everybody was friendly. I mean, the atmosphere was amazing.

You go into the game. Everybody has this towel. And, um, it's kind of like one of those little towels that a baby spits up that you're going to have like a towel for it. You know.

And at first, I didn't know, I thought I'm like, dang, everybody here has a baby I guess and they you know or what's going on but it turns out that it's called the terrible towel and it's just I guess if something real terrible happens and you have like a you have a towel which actually really is helpful you know because you got to take care of yourself and a lot of things could happen over there and you know and Pittsburgh everybody knows I got pink eye over there you know back in the day and I got a I got pretty strong case of pink I was in the Menonga Haler actually and I got a little bit of you know somebody got a little bit of dine-tine him up and you know somebody you know it has you know I don't know what was in a river feet you know I guess feast here whatever but anyway it was um but then also in the same city on my next visit I got a got a blowjob behind a giant eagle grocer so you know six and one half dozen the other you know just when you think like thing and turn around you know it does it am you turn so that's how life is bro you know that's how life is I guess I don't know any idea what I'm talking about um and then we came yeah now we're here in Cleveland so we can hear here to Cleveland already man is with me oh I saw Brendan I stopped over saw Brendan Shaub the other night he was at the Pittsburgh improv snuck over there and welcomed him on to stage I was pretty fine good to see him always and this week I'm coming to some different places I'll tell you a few show dates at the moment to you know I'll be in Cleveland this Tuesday there's still a few tickets left and then the rest of this week I'll be in Indianapolis Detroit Grand Rapids Milwaukee and Madison yep that's it and maybe one other place actually let me look right now also December 10th I'll be at the will turn in Los Angeles you can go see that that's downtown in Los Angeles oh one thing that was cool in Bethlehem all different the backstage I had posters of all the groups that I played on the stage and they had I mean guns and roses man they had all you know who else um you know twisted sister man acid bath you know Reba MacIntyre's you know Georgia Florida line they had everybody there wasn't one Florida Georgia line there wasn't one everybody come through there Dale Neil Haggard was like a Merle Haggard and he's dead man so you got to think just the just it was just amazing to be there I'm like jeepers you know to get to have that experience and so just thank you for everybody that came out I know kind of all over the place but I'm just settling back in you know I'm just settling back in and it was nice to get a little bit of a break because just to kind of get a little look at what was going on you know just to kind of get a little look at what has been going on in my own career and in my own personal life and everything you know I was thinking about like dude ever since I was young I like to have like secrets kind I like to keep things some things to myself you know I like to just keep it are always had like a maybe not even a secret like a little treasure or something you know when I was a kid I used to collect um you know uh different snacks and stuff like that like my mom wouldn't let us have a lot of um sugars and different stuff and so they uh so I would collect a lot of different sugar treats you know different snacks different you know um snicker kid cat baby snicker everything different thing butter finger different thing you know just a little sack of sugar somebody spilled some sugar somewhere I could get that you know a chocolate a white chocolate something like that a cookie a rare macaroon or something you know of you know an Italian cookie and I would put them erasing even sometimes I would soak raisins in chocolate milk and just so they would have that kind of flavor in them and that sweet sweetness and I used to bury them outside right I put all put them on like a little sack and because my mom wouldn't let me keep in the house if if my mother found them she was gone the snacks were gone and so I used to keep them outside off to the side of the house and I had me a little you know dig an area and I would just dig real lightly get that sack out and sugar up but it sometimes I would go out there at nighttime and you know what nighttime is it's when it's you know it's when you can't see that much but you kind of know everything is around kind of but aren't as sure as you were a few hours earlier and the um it's what I have to wait till a car went by on our street because I had to wait till that car went by in the headlights I could see the snacks and I could see the area to dig and I would dig real quick and you know have me a sugar snack or have me a nighttime you know a you know a you know a sweet treat and I never told him I never told anybody till this till right now actually except for this one boy in Wayne and he was big man he's a big boy and some people called him Fat Wayne and and I probably did once or twice but I don't think I did it I would never say it to him I would just sometimes say oh do you know and then I would say it you know but um but anyway he would come over he saw me out there getting him one night and so he would come over somehow he would steal his dad's car he would get it over and put the headlights on and turn him right on the grass on the area and that way the lights were right there yet full lighting because I want you to wait till the car went past and some cars don't have that bright lights on them so you sometimes would wait till you were lucky if you had to SUV or something or somebody driving by with like a real real bright lantern or something and you could see the you know see the snacks real well and quickly but sometimes Wayne would pull his dad's car over and when I say pull he would put it in a neutrally push that bitch over and that was when I growing up that was a kind of early way of kind of driving a little bit is just push getting nothing in a neutral and just pushing that bitch around the neighborhood you know you tell a girl you say hey look I'm gonna be I'm gonna come meet you around eight around eight fifteen eight twenty eight nineteen and then you get in the car once your folks went to sleep or went in their room you get in there and put that car in a neutral and then push that you know push that bastard down to uh to your girl's house or you know if you was secretly in love with a young man or something to push it to his house but most often you'd see somebody pushing it over to a female's house and you pull up in the yard and you try to get in real quiet because you didn't want her knowing you didn't drive there you wanted a trick or so you would park and then go get her say what's going on yeah just drove down meanwhile you know you're just covering a sweat you know you just pushed it you know in nineteen ninety one Oldsmobile or for Taurus you just pushed that thing about eight blocks and you usually had a little bit of an erection too if he's going to see um you know a girl you were interested in or even a young man if you were interested in something like that but you didn't see a lot of that but and that should be a contest or Olympics what I think I said that before that you know doing sports with an erection because your brain is gonna have less blood to function your body muscles gonna have less blood if some of your you know some of your wiener's kind of Bogartan a little bit of that be positive you feel me or oh negative or whatever you got whatever uh electrons you got in your flow you feel me praise God man what else is going on um oh I don't know I feel like a ton and then I feel like nothing that's kind of what I feel like if you like sex then you'll love blue chew calm blue chew offers men a performance enhancement for the bedroom a lot of time you see a guy to get a bed that's one of those vibrating beds you know you put a quarter into my chain at the end and a bed starts vibrating you know get the wife active but at blue chew calm you can get the first chewable um wiener inhibitor it has the same active ingredients as Viagra and Silas the chewables from blue chew can be taken on a full or empty stomach dang can you imagine you can run your dick on an empty stomach and that is the power of blue chew calm it ships directly to your door and discreet packaging no more that bright yellow or pink packaging saying hey they got wiener helpers in here the chewables from blue chew calm are prescribed online by a doctor and made an USA and here's a great deal for you tpw listeners visit blue chew calm and get your first order free when you use promo code Theo just pay five dollar shipping that's belue CHEW.com and use promo code Theo get that wiener hitter hiring can be a slow process you know sometimes remember back in the old days you would write up put a little note on a log or something or ink up a um vestibule or something you know write a note in blood or something on the wall hey i need help i need you know i need someone to do dishwashing or someone to do filing or someone to um you know help process this court case but that's different now you know that's different people are finding jobs and filling jobs through zipper cruder zipper cruder doesn't depend on candidates finding you it finds them for you so if the zipper cruder is that hunter what if you do a hound dog you say hey go give me something give me a cut a ham zipper cruder is that hound zipper cruder's technology identifies people with the right experience and invites them to apply to your job so you get qualified candidates fast that's how dylan michko wits hired his new director of coffee for his organic coffee company because he was having trouble finding qualified qualified applicants with results like that it's no under four out of five employers who post on zipper cruder get a quality candidate within the first day that's amazing so you can see why zipper cruder is effective for businesses of all sizes try zipper cruder for free at our web address zippery cruder dot com slash tpw zip recruiter dot com slash tpw zip recruiter the smartest way to hire and now back to your episode the date for uh... new jersey and the date for uh... maryland oxen hill the m gm grandos are both being rescheduled and you should get uh... a date here through the email shortly and just thank you everybody for just supporting me while i can just you know kind of cancel the dates and then put them back on um...

you know it's just there's been a lot going on my brain and you know some of them know what i'm doing you know when it comes to like a big picture sense and i'm just trying my best and uh... you know sometimes it's okay and sometimes it's it's always okay but uh... just think for support me while i figure it off you know what i just learn as i go um... and that reminds me just to do that with other people as well so glad that uh...

that i have a reminder uh... let's take a couple calls it came in you know we got this episode right here on the road we got a set up pretty uh... already made us came in really help me set up really help me set up um... got jocko willing coming into an episode uh...

some of them grateful that that man is gonna come in and i can tell you this so i was just thinking that jocko's kind of you know he's like an older brother figure but for me a lot of people are can be real father figures for me you know i noticed that i'm i have such a desperation for that energy and that connection in my life that you know i will latch on to people or put them in a place where without even realizing that i have a that i give that up so i take you know kind of father figure like to stuff off of and jocko is like that jocko willing and uh... and he uh... oh this was enough so i saw my dad in a dream when i was in uh... hawaii or in maoi when i was in maoi and it was it was really crazy cuz i hadn't seen him in twenty years even in a vision you know when i had a vision and uh...

and i saw him you know when i saw it was crazy we were at a it was kind of confusing it was a dream you know and robert deniro was there in macunahay was there and we were in uh... maoi and uh... my dad was in one room eating at a table and macunahay and robert deniro in another room and my dad wanted to come and meet macunahay but he didn't want to meet robert deniro and so i was trying to like mediate between the two of them and finally uh... my dad and macunahay got to meet each other which doesn't mean anything but it was just interesting to see my father i had seen him you know i'd seen him in pictures and i'd seen him in just you know imagine a ten what or imagination what his what he looked like or something but i hadn't seen him really and it made me think that my dad lives in hawaii or something you know like i was like oh is this where he's been and it made me think well of course this is where he's been this is where i would be it is stunning haiya that's where i went to piai uh...

and i stayed out this place called lume area and they don't have i don't even so there were some of them i don't know if they even had very peaceful and uh... beautiful little staff that works there and there was some of them i know people are there working or standing or there was a day when i see anyone uh... and it's you know it's comfortable i mean i have uh... what don't i have they don't have it's they don't have to have air condition in the rooms but i knew that going into it and i wanted kind of more of a i guess bohemian experience uh...

but i have fans and you can get like a portable in broad in which i finally did on the fourth day but uh... but you have to see my dad and i got to see it was it was it was i just didn't know i didn't know he's been in hawaii or been you know that he's been there and he was healthy he was healthier looking at every single my whole life that when i actually saw him that's what's wild he was kind of thicker even eaten and his hair his hair was darker and um... he was laughing and he was laughing and he uh... and he was a little he was kind of being cool trying to a little bit play it cool i guess i don't know i mean he you know i mean he lives in that world in the subconscious or in dream or so i you know i have no idea what his life is like there he may drive a Corvette i don't know i didn't see you know the parking lot or anything like that i just saw you know just him and man right when i got up i've just been on this kick where i've been trying to stay more motivated like when i get when it's time to get up it's time to get up and i need to do things and i just want my life to be i want to have more experiences in my life you know recently i've just been realizing like i do a lot of stuff but it's a lot of the same things and i'm not really having a lot of new experiences so i want to have a little bit more that but uh...

but man i wish i'd just laid back down and try to go right back and see him you know wherever he was and um... but it's just so funny i mean i've slept in you know in the past twenty years i've fallen asleep in you know forty two states and you know fifteen or twenty or thirty countries and i want to see my father in the end i mean i mean there he is maybe is over there maybe you know with all the bounty hunter do but uh... it was quite an experience and aloha and uh... mahalo the other things i learned and one time there was somebody vomit behind a truck and i thought they were uh...

doing sand mahalo but it was a woman you know had a little bit too much fermented fruit you feel me she had a little too much nap in her pineapple dog and she was vomiting over there behind a um uh... little uh... a suzu truck rare truck you don't see those as much as you used to anymore and i'll tell you this over on interstate twelve or i ten i saw a doberman full-grown doberman commit suicide jump right out the back of a uh... chevro lake truck i believe it was summer maybe diehatsu just jump right on the interstate at sixty seventy miles an hour you know you just don't know people anybody's going through sometimes it's that is that kind of world so we just got to take care of each other at the hotline a couple calls it came in as always a number ninety five six six four nine five zero three and uh...

let's get some of these hitters right here gang uh... also excited for this week it was so just so many fun places to show so let's check out all the stock call but you get up a deal called for hairs for god we went by last night what's up calling from hairsberg thank you for calling beautiful state i mean drive with your bro five hours a day we did the pittsburgh show that day and then it's just beautiful you know we saw couple of mission we try to go you know we want to get too close to them because it was like a round lunch time or whatever but we saw couple we tried to you know we like pretend we weren't taken like getting back of our pictures and stuff but yet beautiful state the trees are just starting to change color and i mean it just this one mother nature really shows that work you know this one mother nature really uh... bounces that as a little if you will start to get kind of urban right there but you're more than you're calling on me and you've never seen it before and i'm loving it so i think we can't wait to be coming yeah i love it but i guess you spit it out oh yeah where that look where i grew up on over down my g street in coming to louisiana bro if a girl spits right on to you dude you'll probably gonna end up touching each other dude you know i'm saying that's sexual right there if somebody spent sprite on you bro i'd see feel that splash but also you can still get it out of your clothing it's not one of those you know caramel color beverages up you know a coke or a um pep or a tab you've that's four played as five played baby seeing that sprite just splashed off your hard skin dog yeah so y'all better make a baby bro you feel me do bring that baby back next year let's hear a little more great show gang bro gang bro well good i'm glad you and your lady came out we had a guy that came out and brought his brother out over there yesterday and um in Pittsburgh it was pretty nice to see him and his brother came out these two they look kind of Irish but some also i don't know if they were not but uh... they had a father son that came out of him Bethlehem they had a mother-daughter came when i'm getting this really nice little booklet of like positive affirmations and stuff a lot of good people so i'm glad you and your girl enjoyed it you know i hope you get rid of that hit or dare to feel me son because we got to be we got to procreate we gotta get out there and make them pop baby and do that and do sex you know if you love each other and if you are if you guys are already live in the same house you might as well and say cross paths with the cross brother um...

let's take another call that came in here as always the hotline is nine eight five six six four nine five zero three what's up i see a door what's up brother thank you for hitting it up gang uh... my name is Jack big Jack it's your time of year two within jackaland as a you might as well knock on your teeth out you know and really just and live the life and you know paint you know paint your head and was a knock on your empty top and you know like you know you know thirty water some live hard this month i'm trying right now car and in a car for about three hours now three and a half hours now and i'm going to be in a high speed chase where you better look out to you know that there's activity you know see if there's a little bit of you know couple of dodge diplomats and some gunplay let's hear more brother moss i'm driving because i'm going to ask my girlfriend father if i can marry her and i'm not a hundred percent sure if you can say yes oh yeah well well i'll start up with your more human uh... some my question to you is uh... you know how do i can find them about that i'd like navigated conversation uh...

he does tell me know what i do but you i just want to put that out there for you because you are a wise young man so yeah let me know if you can call back well i'll tell you i'll uh... i'll let you know right now what i think about it is if you're asking somebody's dad to marry you first of all it's perfect it's nice of you to do because that's old school tradition you know there was a time back in the day where people you know if you really like you know if you know you know if you grow if you know wife got a line they went missing this is their gonna years ago or so you know seventy years ago probably but but there was a time where you know where you know men probably treat women as good and so i think you get nobody asking i think it's the pro move if he says no bro i think you gotta probably move on because you don't want to be out of i would want to be at odds in your girls in the coming middleman between you and the dad or if he says no i would take some boxing gloves over there because i've had any man against a punch is on the law couple times i bet at some point they you know they beat the beat them into somebody that they could love you got some choices but we had a little bit of somebody at least you have somebody to drive across town and check you know i could drive across town right now down there in the wild ones i you know girl i used to date and her dad like what the fuck we haven't seen in fifteen years so that would be you know they they over there they should make a do the snow cone makers so you know at least you that would be a funny show if i got just pulled up over it like a hai hai hai hai if i got it pulled up over walked up to an older guy on the street was like sir i just want to ask you for your daughter's animators i think it would be a bad movie easier than approaching a one of female a lot of times because a lot of times a portion of female can make a man nervous but if you got to approach that male and say bucko you know hey jim you can just guess his name you know four out of probably twenty two times it's gonna be jim hey jim you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know me but i've been senior daughter and you know i love her you know she's the apples of my eyes and she you know she chips on my rent and i love her we bought a super NES together and uh... and things are looking up so i think that there's a that would be a great little kind of fun little show just to see because then if the dad just even if he kind of agrees and likes you then you could probably get to meet the daughter and at least have a chance maybe with her so that we're kind of working backwards but if you're choosing work for the old-fashioned way uh... i say if you're gonna live in the same city and he says no then i think you got to you might want to look into somebody else but if he says yes man then get into it may you do a barbecue get matching aprons you know saying go full throttle to matching shirts and buy a little dog that looks like just you in the end and and father law you know live your best life brother you can do it uh...

well spent a little bit of this other call it came in right here the hot line is always is ninety five six four nine five five zero three here we go hey you know this is take from the land up what up to it thanks for calling in brother appreciate uh... first off sorry i found a extra white today and a little stuffy and never called so i'm going to spend two close to close the phone but i want to be sick uh... but anyways i uh... went to all that new joker movie last night oh yeah i think i see it some more actually and i love face pain anyway let's hear more is pretty good but uh...

i know the new that let's not reporting that people might want to be aware that these in sales might be there is movie pre-bears inciting violence and all that i was a little bit of an insult so i look it up and it involuntary celebrate if it's like an event group of you two can get any action taken out on women because the thing that their problems on how and and i was wondering where your thoughts on that just kind of weird to me i think it's a weird culturally live in them forms and all that complete some really weird monster people you know yet anyway appreciate it what you're doing although thanks man thank you for uh... gan gang say that i'm in gan bra stay safe to an Italian month so it's like time of year where somebody will you know dress up like a giraffe and hit you with a hatchet or something for no reason to say we're looking for candy or whatever don't get off scot-free because he's attorneys and all this shit but uh... yet they're in cellular's i don't do it you know i think there's a lot of soft batch people out there uh... now there's a lot of guys that struggle you know if you struggle to meet women and struggle to you know converse with women and struggle to form relationships that's one that's one thing but if you find the real anger towards women you know that's something else you got to deal with you can't be dressing you can't be dressed up like you know like a christopher robins or whatever and you know throwing you know throwing like wooden swords and shit at like local bitches in your area that's you know that's not the kind of that's that's no way to you know it's almost we're heading to holidays i mean jesus so i don't know the news i don't believe in the news says i really don't know i don't believe ever since everyone said that about the election before the presidential election like uh...

or he'll reason when this much and all the all the polls they had done in and then they were just wrong they were just wrong about everything and at that point i was on the news it used to be like facts and now it's just people guessing shit with cameras so i think the movie's gonna be fine i think the news is just trying to scare people you know i think there's some guys out there but they're tightening up that's what i think and things are looking up have a little bit of red meat maybe i have some strong broccoli you know do something you have to do you know drink half a thing of fucking elmer's you know do something tighten up and feel strong i think a lot of young men feel stronger than ever you know it's like the news is always saying oh there's racism in the net wrote when i was in pittsburgh for the game today i saw so much non-racism probably more than i've ever seen and i was like yeah once again everything's going fine now i don't think it's a bad idea to stay strapped if you need to these days wherever you're going you know if they have a legal law where you can carry a weapon uh... i don't think you need to be alarmed people like my cousin jamesy and he would you know popped out from behind the computer you know the computer arm desk with two guns on him and he was in his underpants and so he jesus christ did he has a deviated septum i had a listen to him snorfer probably can tell you it's not a couple of whales trying to meet each other and you know i'm a very distant beach uh... but i don't know what i'm talking about but i say this bro you gotta take care of yourself to tighten up and keep tightening up that's what you can do that's what you can do and look how the plan if you do that don't don't be the jack off that's in the movie with no plan you know going there have a little bit of a plan no matter what having escaped planning you know if you go in with the girl you know where are you know do something have a little shield or something do something just have a little plan i think overall that things are everything to be okay i don't think things are getting that squarely but then also if they have people that are in cells do i don't know i guess we'll be i guess we'll be able to somehow you know we will defeat them when it all goes down that's what i'm hoping and i'm gonna go see the movie tomorrow and i'm gonna get some damn milk does or whatever do some juby's in chill and i think a lot of these ins cellular fellas are a lot of them probably are men that feel you know they don't they feel so probably anger towards women you know there's been there was a movement and i don't know if it's still as heavy as it was but where a lot of them were just being mean towards men you know just being mean you know they were kind of using the guys of feminism but really just being just mean and a lot of times it's like lonely women and writing these articles about how bad men are they're just lonely why not just write articles just say you know what and sometimes i'm lonely did everybody really relate to that article but just being a real b i t c h with a pen because you are alone sometimes it's not super helpful miss you know and so i think a lot of these men are attacking women sometimes they feel they feel attacked probably and i'm not saying it's right you know you're not supposed to hit a woman um... but also a lot of women these days they're not these aren't the same women from fifty years ago when a woman you know was due they didn't have gymnasiums and they didn't have you know we weren't doing a lot of strength training and you know throwing all axes and all of this or throwing you know big lead you know pushing sled lead and now you have a step to do the body of mine his wife hit him with a car so we can't hit her when you can't punch her in the shoulder one time so what is the rule then what is going on there you know i mean is why you can win a damnless a bur not the uh...

sort of view it so what you can he can't tell you know he can't rattle one off one time or put her in a new or rear naked choke for thirty seconds with this there got to be some rules sometimes but i don't just think for sure and you can just be attacking women out in the street that's not going to help anything but this makes me think about pornography and i've been struggling with the dark arts brother i'll be honest with you you know about three months ago i have this block on my phone that keeps pornography it somehow that it updated update and next thing you know man hold us i mean satan's just like satan's belly button opened up it was a pinata his belly button is open up and it's just spilling dirty candies all over me so i was trying with a little bit of that uh... and i turned on some blockers they have on the iPhone they're like innate blockers built into the system you know natural blockers that apple has but i want to get that full throttling it back to the thing that i had going on before but just the time and i'm not an inset i don't think but you know i'm coming in and outsell like i'm in and i'm out amount in the means sometimes i feel you know like i'm okay some of the click on that i think i'm just cellular that's what i am i didn't sell your amount of cellular really i'm just so you know we are you know that's a building blocks of us as they said that's at us maybe but uh... what else do we have i mean we got more everything's going pretty smooth people are always like when you can issue this special issue one i don't know when you know what i want to take this is the show to the people first and take it to everyone come and see it first and i still got together your all the shows are in january so that's going to be really amazing right after christmas get over there was still cold and just see what it's like to see like cold europeans you know because a lot of times when you think about your peens you think about being warm or being a warm area you know where my kind of a summer kind of outfit but this will be a different experience so really keen on having that and yet it's happy to be happy to be in cleveland you know happy to be in cleveland and i'm happy to be on the road and and just uh... and get in the shows out there to get into the napolis and grand rapids places where i see like you know i see christalia he travels to these places and i want to be there and i get to be there and uh...

gang gang and so you know i'm saying let's get it let's really get it alright i'll see you guys this week what else they got new merch online on we got the show will turn coming up to serenzell's that will be on sale coming soon uh... uh... some really need gas and become a part of the past i'm spacing out now to get myself a little bit more downtown and uh... and i'm learning as i go man yet we got this call the came in actually uh...

about those shows on and without the old this is i said from one of them and uh... one of them i said something this one letter from being a uh... murderous regime my brother region or and i mean that canadian hato all from canada gang brother or broke being uh... carina i'd say that next weekend uh...

my brother and i am thinking about her out for a early birthday uh... early thirtieth birthday weekend to uh... to the thirty-d to see down in the tree that will work out on both the pants and uh... so we're so and we're gonna spend uh...

spent some time in the uh... and i got a i think my boy uh... they have long-neck dl and will be out there in detroit too so if we can get as long as out about you know and he's beautiful you could travel with any put his ass in a violent case and that's how you know he got that clarinet break put him right in the beautiful case and so uh... happy that my man will be out there uh...

let's go out on the same song that brought us in and what is a crazy week to know that you know we're just on here and then north mrs p also i've been listening to this band for probably twelve years or something and just to find out that they you know that they through one of our lyrics or one of our lyrics and their songs are just that they were even thinking about us you know that's pretty cool man so uh... thank you guys for your patience and uh... and be good to yourself you know you deserve it and let's go get it man let's go get it you know let's stay motivated and let's keep it moving you know let's get that hit her come on with north mrs p all-stars and up and rolling off the new album this drunk outdoors drunk outdoors so good talk outdoors if you got money get a little bigger money get that hit her you know that i'm people who are the way to the beach that drunk outdoors you know that i'm out door thing my man already managed to help me out here on the road in uh... and being a part of making this happen this episode to tonight uh...

we you know i had to set the lamps up in the room and you know never ceases to amaze me how um... you know how he's always part of the solution no matter what the problem is constantly reminded you guys be good to yourself man you deserve it and uh... and we'll see each other next week alright gang ladies and gentlemen i'm jonathan kite and welcome to kite club a podcast where i'll be sharing thoughts on things like current events stand-up stories and seven ways to pleasure your partner the answer may shock you sometimes i'll interview my friends sometimes i won't and as always i'll be joined by the voices in my head you have three new voice messages a lot of people are talking about kite club i've been talking about kite club for so long longer than anybody else so great hey so yeah but i i don't think i could have had a good time to achieve that report uh... uh...

i think tom hanks just but i don't mean anyway first one of the kite club is tell everyone about kite club second rule of kite club is tell everyone about kite club the rule like and subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts or watch us on youtube yeah and yes don't worry my brad pitt impression will get better