Happy happy Thursday and welcome to the daily with still sign here on anchor on today's show I'm going to speak to you about closure a novella that I wrote back in 2014 or published it in July of 2014 This was my first solo novella and today's show is just going to be about closure. I'm going to speak about it And then I'm going to read an excerpt Maybe I'll read part of chapter 2 maybe all of chapter 2 chapter 1 and 2 and then I hope to share more of my books With you I know I started sharing some excerpts of shape chasing clarity but I'm going to go with closure first because I was the first novella I felt solo novella that I published as an indie author and Then I'm going to speak to you about Chasing clarity and then about the diary of the broken father But that won't be on the same show that'll be on different weeks for this week is all about closure And I'm going to give some author news as well at the end for the wrap up and announcements in the wrap up as well So we'll begin in just a moment and welcome to the daily with Phil Stein on anger and Welcome to the daily with still Stein on anger. Welcome back. This is part 2 We're going to be speaking about my novella closure.
This novella. I started it back in I started in September of 2012 This is when I first started at SNHU Southern New Hampshire University, and I started with one class It wasn't exactly September I think maybe October November of that year I started it with my first writing class that I had and then I started on a you know my first fiction class I wrote a short story that I was supposed to write But it was only a couple of pages that I turned in and it wasn't a first point of view or I wrote it in the first person point of view and when I was sharing some stories with an edit who later became my editor But I won't name her because she prefers me not to name her because of all the workload at the time She recommended and she's also an author herself She recommended that I look at through my stories and try to work on maybe possibly publishing a writing one So she kind of pushed me in a good way mentored me to pursue my writing and then I had a group of Writers through my anthology that I had talked to you all about I started with with LinkedIn the writers I'll LinkedIn the writer 750 thanks to Heather Marie Schultz and all the wonderful authors and mentors that I met there And then of course I had my southern New Hampshire family of writers that I still talk to especially like Christopher Barlett Who's also a good friend and author and I worked with him through Copyhouse writers He's become a great friend and Sandy write Crabtree who's also an author herself and a lot of wonderful other writers and authors So I'm really grateful and especially the ones I work with now on Copyhouse writers shout out to all of them they're amazing all the writers editors and bosses that we have Jess Knoppel along with Caitlin Haines and Alexandra palliate and I'm sorry about mispronounce your name Alexandra and all the wonderful authors writers editors and people that I work with I want to send a shout out to them So there's a lot of influential people in my life But at the time I met also another group through Melissa's awesome supporting and Melissa Foster who's a best-selling author shout out to her and all her wonderful books as she writes and a big shout out to her and all the wonderful authors I met through there I got to meet my editor as well at the time when I wrote closure and she encouraged me to You know to try to push myself to write a full-fledged novella after I had done some anthologies And I really didn't you know didn't know if I was going to be able to do it But I kept you know I've always loved writing and I wanted to be an author and publish and you know And I had done my anthologies and stuff So I pushed myself and I was able to come up with closure And I made it into the third person point of view and I created Sarah James and Sarah James the character and her father Garrison James and the estrangement that happens when there's a loss and then what you know what transpires between the two of them which is unfortunate there's alcoholism there's abuse and you know physical or neglectful abuse and then you know This child you know grows up and and she's estranged from her father because there was a loss of her mother And there's a lot of things dynamics between the two of them and a lot of people that have read this a book have told me You know I could really connect with Sarah I felt a deep connection to her and and you know if people have asked me about it You know there's you know and they've shared their store their own stories and it brought a message for them And this is what I was trying to do with the story I was trying to create a message of even though all these things happened There was a there's a road between them that could maybe be fixed or not And maybe you felt that way before through someone's addiction or your own and and and the barriers you have to go through To fix this so I created this fictional story But I you know I've known people in my own family that I've had alcoholism This isn't my own story But it you know it kind of relates to things that I possibly went through others went through in their own lives And and or you know of someone that has and I wanted to just create the story And there was a lot of people that have shared their own experiences with this and when I read this story a chapter one and two If you would like to call in and share your own You know a message of what you thought of the story if you have not read the book or bought the book You may you know you could download it Tony 99 cents on Amazon and it's on 99 cents on Barnes and Noble new press You already have your copy of your book then you know this story if you don't I you know I hope that you will check it out because I've gotten a very positive review of this book And I could have never done it with all the help of all the mentors that having that encouraged me in school and my writers group My editor at the time who encouraged me to get this book published It has since gone through some changes in the book because I wanted to make sure there was no mistakes on it But she was able to encourage me to get this done and I would have never been able to Pursue this if she had not pushed me to to you know to create this wonderful story And I hope you enjoy Closure I'm gonna read chapter one today on the daily with so Stein and I hope that you will download this episode and You can connect with the story. Please call us in and share your own views And I hope that you'll check out closure and here I go chapter one. I will never forget the day My mother passed away.
I can recall that moment as of it were yesterday. My life changed forever It was once a time. I thought life was perfect after all my mother and father were high school sweethearts It seemed like they would they would be together forever or so I thought sadly for our family It was not to be her death was the beginning of a nightmare my nightmare like most children I did not understand the concept of time There were many nights when the side effects of my mother's chemo woke our family. I could hear her coughs and knew she was in pain He attempted to mask it from us, but there are some things you cannot hide Mother developed breast cancer It runs in her side of the family and something I must watch for breast cancer is not the monster of my nightmares That monster is my father One day my mother was there in the next day I'm walking into a big home and facing a large box for the longest time I stood holding my father's hand while looking at our reflection on the shiny wooden box The room began to fill with noise confused.
I looked over my shoulder and faced the dark blue curtain What's that daddy? I asked Everyone is coming to say goodbye. Who's going away? He picked me up inside was my mother.
She looked peaceful Mommy is mommy is sleeping. I thought Delighted to see her with color and resting. I turned and whispered into my father's ear Mommy is sleeping daddy. She's not sick anymore Sweetie he whispered a jagged breath and wet heat caressed my ear daddy's crying lost her words I patted his back his soft steepened and we'll be right back for the next segment And now to the next segment of continuing on chapter one closure by me, Sylvia Stein Oh, Sarah mommy's going away, but don't worry.
We're still a family young and confused nothing made sense My father was crying. My mother was in a box and people behind a curtain were there to say goodbye Mother looked good happy and without pain. How could someone who finally looked peaceful decide to leave the curtains opened Lost and confused. I searched the room for help Father carried me to the first seat and sat me down A strange man stood and described how wonderful my mother was the air the room and well everything felt wrong Mommy is there.
Why does he keep saying she is with God? I want my mom my mind my mind shouted I tried to talk but tears and the world consumed me Then I saw a man with a collar come up to my father and whispered something in his ear Moments later the man closed the lid to the box. My mom was in Five men and my father picked up mommy's box and began carrying it out of the room Angered by strangers carrying that in burner box I ran in front of their path and tried to stop them before I could say a word a large warm hands Swallowed mine startled. I tried to scream but saw into my father's heart broken.
Nice. It'll be all right My father assured me he lied thanks to him and his abuse. I live with night terrors Have panic attacks and suffer from stress induced grand mal seizures over time I have lost hope and do not know if I will ever feel normal again Sarah Well chapter one and now we're moving on to chapter two I'm gonna read hopefully all of it, but if not for sure some of it here we go chapter two in the dark corner of our room Sarah James waited until the monster fell asleep. Who was the monster?
Who was the monster? Garrison James her father. It amazed her how much Had changed in the first short months since her mother Lila left It felt as if it happened overnight At first he seemed absent and the yelling drinking and angry glares erupted whenever she entered the same room as him Soon he began calling her names when she thought things could not get worse the real abuse began He's not my dad. He's a monster heavy footsteps trump towards the room She gulped and jagged breaths and looked to the ceiling while blinking rapidly a feeble attempt to control her tears When hiding from the monster, she would replay what she did wrong How how he caught her the time before don't cry.
She reminded herself. That's how he finds you She looked around the one slightly home for a sweet reminder better times There was a time when the house was surrounded by a beautiful garden She and her mother would walk hand in hand and choose which flowers to bring inside Now the windows were closed the base they usually help flowers sat empty No matter where she looked there was no sign of happiness or life House had become a vessel of sorrow and pain mommy think of her She closed her eyes and forced images of her favorite memories Reese smile appeared as thoughts reverted her to one for the many times when her mother taught her how to bake cookies Oh mama. I miss you. She whispered the memory of her mother distracted Sarah from the harsh reality However, nearly as quick as the memories arrived.
They just dissipated and before she knew it the monster began lashing out Sarah, Sarah. Where are you? He screamed and we'll be right back And now we continue with chapter two Of closure by me, Sylvia Stein Realizing she had made noise Sarah covered her mouth and began internally praying Oh lord help me Where are you? The monster demanded that he's as he stormed towards the back of the house She looked up at the ceiling and whispered.
What does he want now? She knew he was drunk usually by the by this time of the day He would be asleep but his current drunken rage lasted much longer than the other nights Please lord make him go to sleep. She begged. What was that the monster bellow?
She brought her index finger to her lips and made a shushing sound she feared the monster honing in on the sound of her prayer As I escaped her when he stormed past the room and into the kitchen her stomach Her stomach roared to life. When was the last time I ate? I ate she wondered her month. Sarah was constantly exhausted and hungry When the monster moved towards the dining room, she decided to try to sneak into the kitchen Just as she neared the threshold she heard his footsteps and quickly reverted to her safe hiding place Sarah come here the second he ordered an anger.
She knew that tone all too well He got a hold of her pain would soon follow Immediately her heart began to raise nice her small body combos her mind scream. Not again. But last time her body showed uncontrollably She was hiding in the closet. The monster heard her praying.
He whipped the door open and I shouted out at her She recalled something hard striking the sight of her head. It was late and although she couldn't I recall what hit her She noticed a high pitch ringing sound this he could go on for days. The ringing became too much She asked her father to take her to the doctor. He refused since the mother left her father stopped Stop taking her to church.
He said that God was a myth. She knew better She believed in God and knew there was a doctor at the church. She could see for free That was the only time she talked back to her father. She said He was wrong and they should go so God can forgive him.
That was when the monster took over She recalled the pain she felt as he backhanded her. Moments later her body began shaking and then the blackness sit in And she woke she was soaked in urine with a monster barking orders The high pitch ringing was so loud it caused pain behind her ears me behind her eyes She learned her lesson instead of complaining. Sarah did what the monster demanded Which was scrub the floors and make his dinner her mind scream to what he says and don't fall asleep Beers stricken by memories of that day. Sarah's heart raised faster as her body rapidly convulsed.
She needed a distraction She again searched her room for a small piece of solace. The house was in shambles Sarah tried to calm Sarah tried to clean but at the age of seven it was impossible for her to maintain the house the way her mother had There you are. She recalled to the corner and covered her face. Sarah began cringing The closer he neared knowing he found her made Sarah drop to her knees in fear She gagged as the intrusive stench of alcohol vomit crashed into her Oh mama if you can see what he's done to us.
Oh, how I wish you were still here She cried in a whisper Once again, Sarah's only hope was the drunken monster passing out before he heard her She could not get to she could not get used to his verbal abuse and violent tantrums Since her mother left it became her responsibility to clean up after him. Unfortunately, she could not do anything when he was awake Her only hopes were the nightmares. Her only hopes were that the nightmares would end. Sadly for Sarah Garrison was not about to let up.
She cleansed her fist as a sound of his voice echoed closer Damn you you stupid girl. I told you not to throw my bottles away She could not understand how he could not remember the bottles were empty. Garrison approached the room and stood by the doorway Father, please forgive me. She beg get out of my sight now.
Please daddy. Go to your room before I make you go Though she did not understand what he meant. She did not question She bolted she bolted as fast as her little legs could move to Sarah. There were many times when they could have went I mean an issue with the phone here.
So my apologies. I keep having to pause it my apologies on that Although she did not understand what he meant. She did not question She bolted as fast as her little legs could move to Sarah. There were many times when he could have chosen to be there as a father It never happened.
She knew he loved the bottle more than family. When she made it to the stairs without getting hit She recalled the time when Garrison had promised to watch over her and we'll be right back And now the last part of chapter 2 foreclosure by me, Sylvia Stein She attempted a final plea No, sorry about that. When she made it to the stairs without getting hit she recalled the time when Garrison had promised to watch over her She glanced at him and wondered did he lie? No, he forgot his promise when he drinks he forgets everything All of those memories began to take its toll on the young, malnourished girl.
She was starving and needed something to eat before heading to her room She attempted to her she attempted a final plea Father, please. She begged I am hungry. I told you to get out of my sight. He screamed She ran upstairs as fast as she could for a brief moment killed crossed over Garrison He picked up one of the surviving family pictures and looked into the eyes of Lila something warm tickled his cheek He brought his hand up and wiped away a tear.
Get a hold of yourself. She's never coming back He stomped to the couch and snatched an old bottle off the table Screw it. He mumbled while bringing the bottle to his lips. Once in her room, Sarah sat on her bed and brought to control her sobbing If he falls asleep by cany and clean, Sarah, I'm not going to repeat myself again, yelled Garrison He didn't say anything.
Didn't you hear me? You pathetic girl. As the steps grew closer, Sarah began to feel pressure on her chest and bought to go In a breath of air. What is happening to me?
She asked panic by unfamiliar pain and her inability to read. She whispered, mama, please help me You don't have a mother. The monster cold least dated And that's where we'll leave off with closure by me. So we Stein And I will be reading more of the excerpts of the story.
As I said, this story is about Alcoholism, obviously the main theme is the Of course, there's the abuse and neglect of Sarah by her father, the monster, Garrison James But it's also about the loss, the tragic loss of a loved one And Garrison resorts to alcoholism. He feels that that's what helps him and we'll learn more about it as we go And uh, I hope that you know, this story is, you know, Sarah's journey She's a child and she's in pain and she's going through so much And it's it was a difficult subject to write about but there's there are many people that are either have gone through it Have known someone that has and are going through it now and addiction is never easy and it's never helpful But it hurts those that we love, especially children and um, I myself have known people that have gone through that And I know people in my family that have had alcoholism before and they're like not this severe But have had addictions or know people that have and it affects so many And um, if you want to share your story or call in um, or you've read closure and want to share or ask questions about it Please feel free to contact me on on the show Through anchor the daily with sylstein on anchor or you could also email me at sylstein07 at gmail.com And we'll be right back for the wrap-up here on The daily with sylstein on anchor for today. My apologies again I've been I've recording from my phone And this thing keeps the screen keeps going over and I need to change that because it's it's doing it too quickly Sorry about that and we'll be right back with the wrap-up And now it's time for the wrap-up here on The daily with sylstein on through anchor or on anchor And I appreciate you tuning in to listen to closure and I read chapter one and two and the chapters are very emotional Um, like I said, this is it has to do with a loss Um of of the mother and then the journey that that transpires between sarah james Young sarah james and her father garrison james who spirals out of control with addiction because of his alcoholism And you hear the different the different things that are going on and what sarah says in the beginning And then we'll find out more about what happens But um is this story is very as I said very emotional There were people that wrote a review or contacted me and said I could really relate to the story And it was it was quite an emotion and when I wrote this story I didn't you know, I wrote it because like I said, I know I've known people that have gone through it Um, and I did get asked about If if somehow it related to myself and I hadn't really thought about it But one day I was doing a book event and an author friend and mentor He asked, you know, do you relate in some ways to the story? How does it connect to you?
And it brought up a lot of emotion because at you know, as I said in my own family, there was alcoholism You know, I had a parent who you know, my father passed away and 2005, god bless him He was a great man, but he did struggle with alcoholism And even though he wasn't a bad man in no way shape or form He wasn't a violent man or anything like that His alcoholism when I was younger a young girl just like Sarah about that age It caused him to lose like his employment He went through some, you know, some difficulties My parents unfortunately both of them divorced and we had to end up living with my grandparents And there was a struggle there for my mother My mother went through a lot and it caused a rift and even though my mother's father Were friends, you know, were later friends and they got along Through that time, I didn't understand what was going on My brothers, you know, I was the oldest of five at the time and they were much younger Except for me and my brother who's a year younger And we went, you know, it did cause us some, you know, unfortunate pain in the sense that They weren't together We had to uproot our life and move somewhere else And there was a lot of emotion But I hadn't really thought about that. That's why I wrote the story I mainly wrote it because, you know, at the time, you know, I thought about addiction and what it does to families But thinking about it now, I think in some ways, I can relate to Sarah In my own way because my mother went, you know, even though in the book The mother passes away My mother has always been, you know, I've been very close to my mother and my father too But my mother, as I was close to my grandmother And her being hurt by all of this caused a big problem for myself Because my mother did go through a lot And she went through her own struggles Having to, you know, balance herself out and take care of her five children And, you know, and even though my father was still in the picture But he wasn't living with us, all of the responsibilities became my mother's and my grandparents And if it weren't for all of them, you know, we wouldn't have gone through that So there was a big journey, a different type The abuse wasn't physical, but I think emotionally It was, we were scarred in some ways But like I said, my father, you know, was able to fight through his addiction In his later life and then he was able to keep a stable job And, you know, and he was a great musician, great person Unfortunately, he was diagnosed with cancer And I think it was in 2004, late 2004 He passed away in 2005, very painful diagnosis And he, you know, he lost his fight to it And it was really difficult because I was very close to my father as well As we got older And we never had any disagreements as far as Sarah and her father But, you know, I do miss him and it was a hard journey But I never had never thought about, you know, what When I wrote the book that maybe there was some similarities To what I had been through And through the character of Sarah, I kind of was able to relate That, you know, that some of the things I went through And this is all very personal on my part of what I'm saying But I hadn't really thought about it when I wrote it I think, I kind of did, but I kind of wrote the story to create a message And I know that there's a lot of people out there that have gone through so much addiction And have, are still going through it or had a family member that has And I don't want to take away from that But I know it can be hard, I'm just talking about my own situation And what happened with me or people that I've known And I know a way, shape or form, want to take away from what you went through And this story, although it's fictional I wanted to kind of send a message of even though these things happen Could there be some type of reparation or some type of relationship That you can have with that person that hurt you And this is what we're going to find out through Garrison and Sarah's journey In the story of closure So I hope that makes sense to all of you But that was why I wanted to read the excerpt If you want to share your own story, you certainly can The book is available through Amazon Through $0.99, the Kindle edition only And the Barnes & Noble Nukepress is $0.99 So, and it's also available on audio And you can sign up with Audible I think they have some, you can sign up and you can get some stuff free Or get a free trial And then the paperback is a normal price And you can always order them through Amazon Or you can contact me and I might order some books through Amazon KDP now And get sent a signed copy And I do not charge for shipping, so But anyway, I want to take off what I was saying But thank you for listening I just wanted to make the quick announcements of I'm working on my new book, Battered Mine Which should be out later this year That's my thriller And I'm also working on some romance series Coming out later for possibly next year And The Fallen Star Which is a story that I wrote Through Coffee House writers, shout out to them I wrote a story based in the 70s And you'll find out more about that later But for now, I want to just say that Battered Mine is hopefully almost here That's my thriller I hope that you check it out And I hope you enjoyed this excerpt of closure And please share If you want to call in, share your own story Or tell me what you thought of closure I hope you'll download the episode And thank you so much I am Silvia Stein For the Daily with Silstein here on Anchor You have a wonderful, wonderful day Happy Thursday