"COKE SLOWLY TOOK EVERYTHING!" Cocaine Recovery. School of Rock Bottom 75: Ryan Phillips

Ryan Phillips shares his recovery from cocaine addiction with over 65,000 followers on TikTok. In this conversation, he describes the moment his cocaine use finally collapsed under the weight of truth. After days awake on coke, surrounded by smashed glass and blood, Ryan was found by his sister while his young niece waited outside. Hearing that his niece had become frightened of him became the wake-up call that ended the secrecy and forced honesty to begin. We talk openly about addiction, cocaine recovery, relapse, accountability and what happens when denial finally breaks.Ryan is a recovery and wellness advocate and the founder of The Deep End, a community offering therapy, coaching, yoga, meditation and breathwork. With a background in the music industry, he speaks candidly about cocaine addiction, dry sniffing, ADHD, fantasy as escapism, and the slow, uneven reality of getting clean. He reflects on growing up using imagination as refuge, moving from weed to cocaine, and how addiction tightens its grip quietly rather than all at once.We explore the myth of the dramatic turning point, the cycle of stopping and starting, and why willpower alone never worked. Ryan explains how speaking the truth out loud became the real shift, how NA, CBT and therapy each played different roles, and why sharing publicly on TikTok helps him stay clean. We also discuss whether relapse is part of recovery, why counting days and chips can sometimes do more harm than good, and how to navigate New Year’s Eve without cocaine.This is not a story about instant change or neat endings. It is a grounded conversation about patience, responsibility and learning to live without escape. If you are questioning your relationship with drugs, wondering whether cocaine has started to control you, or trying to understand what recovery actually looks like day to day, this episode will meet you where you are.Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773eThank you to Gavin Sisters for sponsoring this episode! Visit -www.gavinsisters.co.uk and use promo code SCHOOLOFROCKBOTTOM for 10% off!Podcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you!https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypalTopics -0:00 Trailer & Intro 3:00 A rock bottom moment 12:00 The loop of being in and out of recovery13:45 Using fantasy as a child to escape 17:00 Moving from weed to coke 19:30 Cocaine starts to get it's claws in 21:45 Will everyone who takes coke get addicted? 25:00 ADHD & dry sniffing?26:45 Ryan's recovery journey 32:00 NA, CBT & Therapy34:15 Why TikTok helps Ryan stay clean 36:10 Sponsor37:10 Does Ryan use old videos as reminders?38:45 What do the public want from Ryan?42:15 What is The Deep End?46:00 Is relapse part of recovery?48:15 Counting days & chips arent useful?!50:00 How do you stay away from drugs on New Years Eve?52:15 New Years Eve/Day is just another day?54:00 Patience & gratitude 57:15 Recovery or recovered?58:15 What do you want written on your gravestone?Follow RyanWebsite -https://www.wearethedeepend.comTikTok -https://www.tiktok.com/@ryaninrecoveryInstagram - https://www.instagram.com/ryan_thedeependFollow OliverInstagram - https://tinyurl.com/2vt29sjvFacebook - https://tinyurl.com/34cwz59rTikTok - https://tinyurl.com/ujw4vxn9LinkedIn - https://tinyurl.com/yuemhnd7Threads - https://tinyurl.com/yk7vdeahX - https://tinyurl.com/3u5mnpdsPlease subscribe, follow, like, leave a review and comment! YouTube - https://tinyurl.com/yc7zr7t9Spotify - https://tinyurl.com/4j6hy2wfApple - https://tinyurl.com/y3n2chk3#CocaineRecovery#AddictionRecovery#RecoveryPodcast