Colin Campbell:  Finding the Words: Working Through Profound Loss with Hope and Purpose

Connect with Katherine DudtschakWebsite: Sincerely Inc.LinkedIn: Katherine DudtschakInstagram: Katherine DudtschakBook: Sincerely, KatherineConnect with Colin CampbellWebsite: Colin CampbellBook: Finding the WordsColin Campbell:  Finding the Words: Working Through Profound Loss with Hope and PurposeEpisode DescriptionKatherine Dudtschak sits down with Colin Campbell, writer, theater director, Academy Award-nominated filmmaker, and author of Finding the Words: Working Through Profound Loss with Hope and Purpose. In June 2019, Colin and his wife Gail were in the car when a drunk and high driver struck their family at speed on a California highway. Their two teenage children, Ruby, 17, and Hart, 14, were killed. Colin and Gail survived.What Colin did with that fact is the subject of this conversation. He and Gail have since adopted two teenagers through the foster system, fulfilling a vision Ruby herself shared with them a year before she was killed. His book is built on one central insight: most people who disappear after a loss do not disappear from indifference. They disappear because they do not know what to say. And learning to ask for what you need is one of the most generous things a grieving person can do for those who love them.This conversation covers grief, forgiveness, Ruby and Hart as the specific and extraordinary people they were, and what it means to choose love as a deliberate daily practice when it is the most difficult option available.Key MomentsRuby's suggestion, a year before she was killed, that the family should foster adopt children because they had so much love to give, and what Colin and Gail ultimately did with thatThe nurse in the emergency room who told Gail she could not look, and why Colin says being present in the car was, in some ways, a giftWhy most people who disappear after a loss do so not from indifference but from not knowing what to say, and what learning to ask for help gives to the people who love youFive years of quietly dehumanising the driver, reading Desmond Tutu's Book of Forgiving, and the beginning of something that might become forgivenessHart and his hairdresser Gwen: a story Colin shares publicly for the first time, and what it reveals about who Hart was at 14Colin's two lessons: don't be afraid of the pain, and if love is an option, choose it. It is always worth it.Quotes to Remember"Don't be afraid of the pain. And if love is an option, choose it. It's always worth it.""There's a pretty good chance the person who hurt you took it as far as they knew how. You can take it further. That's the whole work."Reflection for ListenersColin does not talk about surviving the loss of Ruby and Hart. He talks about choosing to remain open, fully and specifically, in each moment since. What stayed with me is not the scale of what he has faced but the quality of attention he still brings to the people around him: the teenagers he and Gail adopted, the friend whose grief he now accompanies, the hairdresser his son loved. His invitation is not to be extraordinary. It is to find the words, say them out loud, and keep choosing love even when it is the hardest possible option.About the HostKatherine Dudtschak is the founder of Sincerely and author of Sincerely, Katherine. Through conversations, writing, and storytelling, she explores what it means to live and lead as whole human beings in a complex world. DisclaimerThis conversation is for reflection and perspective only and should not be relied on as therapy or professional advice. Please seek qualified support where needed. This content is subject to our full Terms and Conditions, available on our website.