COMA radio : M

Playlist : Radiohead - Videotape Moby - Inside Peter Gabriel - I Grieve Moby - Everloving Tool - Wings For Marie, Pt. 1 Radiohead - Videotape : When I'm at the pearly gates This'll be on my videotape My videotape When Mephistopheles is just beneath And he's reaching up to grab me This is one for the good days And I have it all here In red blue green In red blue green And you are my center when I spin away Out of control on videotape On videotape On videotape This is my way of saying goodbye Because I can't do it face to face I'm talking to you from... No matter what happens now You shouldn't be afraid Because I know today has been The most perfect day I've ever seen Peter Gabriel - I Grieve : It was only one hour ago It was all so different then There’s nothing yet has really sunk in Looks like it always did This flesh and bone Is just the way that we are tied in Now there's no one home I grieve for you You leave me It’s so hard to move on Still loving what's gone they say life carries on they say life carries on and on and on and on The news that truly shocks is the empty, empty page While the final rattle rocks its empty, empty cage And I can't handle this I grieve for you You leave me Let it out and move on Missing what's gone They say life carries on They say life carries on and on and on Life carries on In the people I meet In everyone that's out on the street In all the dogs and cats In the flies and rats In the rot and the rust In the ashes and the dust Life carries on and on and on and on Life carries on and on and on It’s just the car that we ride in The home we reside in The face that we hide in The way we are tied in Life carries on and on and on and on Life carries on and on and on Did I dream this belief Or did I believe this dream Now I can find relief I grieve Tool - Wings For Marie - Part 1 : You believed You believed in moments none could see You believed in me A passionate spirit Uncompromise Boundless and open A light in your eyes that Could end all lies Vacant, broken Fell at the hands of those movements that I wouldn't see Cause it was you who prayed for me, so What have I done to be a son to an angel? What have I done to be worthy? Daylight dims leaving cold fluorescence Difficult to see you in this light Please forgive this selfish question, but What am I to say to all these ghouls tonight? She never told a lie Well might've told a lie But never lived one Didn’t have a life Didn’t have a life But surely saved one See? I'm alright, now It’s time for us to let you go 4.5.08 : ... You've been breaking my heart more-so than usual lately. Can I say that and not worry about being victimized by vulnerability? I question this because it is a question. The tears start to splish-splash in the back of my throat when I think of all of the missing face-to-face time. Why does life hand out cheat cards when no one is ever interested in accepting them. The length of your legacy was unfairly snatched short. I've remembered every square inch of your face. With a welcoming smile constantly plastered between your compassionate sidewalk-chalked cheek bones. How could I ever forget a significance such as you. I rhetorically question that one too. Because it is a question. You with your ever constant influenceable face. I'll forever remember your face. I remember the way it used to light up in those pre-cancer days. Getting hung up on the cancer. Because cancer has become my whole-hearted-heavily-hated enemy. But in an attempt to be honest. I barely ever think of the way you looked when it clung to you like a heavy apathetic-overcoat. When I think of you. I think of only you. 4.8.08 : aphex twins - stone in focus Sitting here with these oversized headphones slung atop these surpasingly-sad eardrums. You would have loved this song if you had heard it during your luminous laughing days. How I've fucking wept and bargain-pled for another round of your spectacular laughter. It has always been my most significant song of rememberance. 4.9.08 : ... And it's not until you're choking on pieces of your own nostalgically hemmed-heart. That you remember why you're even smile-broken in the first place. You were one of the luckiest faces to be splattered all over the heart-space. With the inspiration and constant love from a woman that considered you to be an adopted version of her very own pre-existing trio of children. She constructed great elaborate plans for both you and your slung-stalled art career. She believed in you. She adviced you. She pushed you. She loved and listened to you. She made you believe in yourself. 4.9.08 : ... With a blue Sharpie-marked M on the underside of my wrist. All I can do is remember the brilliant heart-bombarding that is known to come on behalf of you. And as usual. My heart capsizes within all of the love that I have for you. 4.10.08 : ... Today is the day to follow in the footsteps of old infamous familiars. Today is the day I'll wear my tribute smile.