So the beginning pages of scripture, God drops humanity in a perfect garden. Their relationship vertically with him is perfect. Their relationship horizontally with one another is perfect. And there's abundance everywhere you look.
They have all this food and yet they never get fat. They have all of these animals and yet they don't have any fear of them. Can you picture that? They have all this identity with no insecurity.
Everything is perfect. And Adam and Eve have everything except one thing. She says and shows up in Genesis chapter 3 in this garden and he doesn't come at them with a pitchfork trying to attack them. He doesn't even have like this seven point apologetic to convince them that God does not exist.
Here's what Satan does. He points. You have everything. What about this one thing?
This one tree that he said he couldn't have. If you had that, you would be more. You would be better. God is holding out on you.
You need that one thing. It doesn't matter you have everything. What about that one thing? And in that moment, think about this, sin, shame and separation are launched into the universe.
Now through the lie of comparison. The lie of comparison. I don't know what you think about when you think about comparison. Maybe you think about youth sports.
Maybe you think about that other guy who gets that promotion. Maybe you think about the loaded minivan that other mom is driving. They would solve all your problems. My kids win cry on vacation if we had the Toyota Sienna.
I don't know what you think of when you think about comparison. A lot of you think about social media. The likes that you have. The likes that your friends have.
The people who see your story but don't heart it. Why? Because you think about comparison. You think about comparison.
Maybe it's second home in Flagstaff that your friend has. They got it through shady business deals. You're like, I should have a second home. I've worked hard.
I don't know what you think about comparison. I would imagine nobody in here thinks it's a good idea. Can we agree? Can we raise a hand?
Comparison is not a good idea. How many of you think of comparison as a lie that launched a million sins? As the lie at the beginning that launched shame into the world. Separation in horizontal relationships.
How many of you think of comparison like that? Here's what we're doing in the series. We talked about isolation. We talked about hurry.
Today is comparison. We're talking about things that we downplay. We normalize in our culture. Like hurry.
Everybody does it. Everybody does that comparison. That's the world in which we live. We've never been better at it.
It's just what we do, Tim. Everybody does it. And yet it's taking everybody out. It's not just something we do.
It's tipping away at who we are. We need to talk about it. We need to talk about it here. Not just out there.
You can go. It's like turning out to kill comparison. There's probably a magazine that says that on the shelf right now. Check out that problem.
It's going to do nothing for your soul. Only Jesus can heal that. We need to talk about these issues in our world with a Bible, with a spirit of God and with the son of God. What we're doing in the series.
How do we navigate this? More. How do we have something more, something better for our year? At the beginning of this year, some of you are here.
We talked about putting God first this year. We talked about having a year. We're just saying, we're gonna give God this year. And yet we're a few weeks into this year.
And the reality is we're giving everyone else parts of our soul through comparison. And for many of us, the inhibitor for you in growing your relationship with God in 2026 is this idea of comparison. So we need to talk about it. So we're gonna do that.
Our first point, if you take notes, is this comparison crushes your soul. Comparison crushes your soul. Proverbs 1430 says it this way. A tranquil heart gives light to the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot.
In Hebrew that word tranquil doesn't mean calm circumstances. It's not some fragrance that you spray from Bath and Body Works, tranquil. Tranquil literally in the Hebrew is this idea of an undivided, settled whole heart. Now in contrast that word envy, it literally means resentment over another.
Resemement over another. It reflects a divided heart. It reflects you lending out pieces of your heart rent free to another person that you may know or you may not know. That you may like or you may not like.
That's envy. And what King Solomon who writes this wisdom to us, says to us, this doesn't just make us sad. It rots at our bones. In the Hebrew context, you're your bones.
It was like the substance of who you were, your integrity, your stability, your security, your identity in life. If for a lot of us right now, as we're giving into comparison, it's corrupting our soul. It's eroding the very nature of who you are, your identity. And you're looking at who you are and measuring that against what other people do.
And it's not going well for us. I looked up a lot of stats. I've done that a couple times in this series. And they're all over the place, but they're all going up into the right in the worst way possible.
Anxiety, depression, suicide. I read once that up 40% over the last decade. We've come up with acronyms of things that people are being diagnosed with that are brand new like PSU. Do you know what PSU is?
It's not Penn State University. It's psychologists are calling it problematic smartphone use. And I read this study that just talked about how teens are experiencing problematic smartphone use, but so are grandparents on Facebook. And it's this thing that we talk about a lot.
Like we all have it. Like it's not a big deal. Yes, do I book in my day with looking at what other people are doing that I don't know and some I do know and do I feel worse about myself? Yes, Tim, but it's 2026.
But yet everybody who's looking at our health, every pastor, clinical health, psychologist, psychologist is saying, hey, this is literally killing our souls. Depression, anxiety, clinical anxiety. People are struggling. As Teddy Roosevelt said, comparison is stealing.
It's the thief of our joy. It's taking our joy and fulfillment and our purpose. And we're voluntarily submitting to this uncontrolled experiment. And it's not working well for us.
It's not working well for our teenagers. It's not working well for our adults. I don't know how many times I go to a coffee shop and I see like a group of teenagers sitting at a table. And you think they're drinking great coffee.
They live in Phoenix, live in great lives. Their knees are young and their knees don't hurt. And this is great, right? But they're all looking at a screen, not talking to each other at the third place that Jeff talked about last week.
We go to third places all the time. We just don't look at each other in the face. We go to church all the time. We just don't talk to a real person.
Because we're too busy getting buzzed by our watch or looking at our phone. And young people are doing that. But so are grandparents. How many of you have been to a restaurant?
How many of you have been to a mall? And you see grandparents and their little kid is tugging on them. Hey, grandpappy or me mall or pop-ball. Look at my little drawing.
They're like, hold on a second. I'm like, this person I went to high school with 60 years ago. And it breaks your heart. So listen, like grandparents, this is not something you opt out of and just say, those young people.
This is something that's hurting us all. It's rotting out the very core of who we are. It's causing us to do things that we would never do on our own. That's what says in the New Testament, it's own proverb, really.
It's written that way, James 3 16. It says this, for where jealousy and selfish ambition exists, there will be disorder in every vile practice. How many of you that describes our culture? How many of you that describes your circle of friends sometimes?
How many of you that describes the church used to go to? Like just disorder, just chaos. We're doing wicked things with our things. We should use materials as principles, as tools of generosity to bless other people.
We're using possessions and materials to stuff everybody down to make sure we look good in front of them. How many of you? Again, this is not just a teenager thing. This is not just a peer pressure thing.
You know what's wrong today? All these teenagers are looking at each other at these parties, and they want to impress each other, so they take the fentanyl. That happens. They drink that drink.
They do that thing because they do that vile practice because they want to look good in front of their friends. Does that happen? Yes, and amen. That happens.
And it's awful. But also what happens is a grown man and a grown woman in their 40s by a house. They cannot afford to impress people they do not actually like. And they go into debt because of that.
And now they're in this house that they couldn't afford that impresses the people that they don't like. And they're in debt. And so they're going at each other in their marriage. They're going after kids for spending $5 at Circle K.
Is that the problem? They're going at the church. You should give money. The church is what's my money.
Is that the problem? Or is it because you're stressed too far? Because you're trying to please the Joneses. Who are the Joneses?
I mean, poor souls who actually are named the Joneses. God pray for them. Because you're trying to please people. Listen, that in 20 years, you might not know their name.
In 500 years in eternity, their applause will do nothing for you. Test this out. Go to a high school reunion. I remember I've only been to my tenure, but it was like my 30 year, if you know what I'm saying.
By the way, people aged. I was like, Hunter? Wow. OK.
All right. And he was like the athlete I compared myself to. He ruined my life from fourth grade to 12th grade. Hunter, I forgive you in Jesus name.
But I let that guy control eight years of my life. It's a true story, people. Maybe you had a Hunter's late in your school. I did.
That kid bullied me. He made me feel less than with girls, all these things. And I showed up at my tenure high school union. I was like, I had J on my side.
I'm like, OK. Hey, Hunter, how you like me now? And I'm like, I gave eight years of my life to Hunter. Ten years later, doesn't even matter.
I mean, now it's 25 years later. If you're high school student in the room, college student in the room, hey, can we just share some wisdom with you as adults? It does not matter as much as you think it does. Amen.
It does not matter. Do not let people steal your joy, steal your identity, steal years of your life, steal your security. And yet this is what we're doing. It's a moving target.
It's a moving target. You can please one group of people at church. And then you have a whole different set of standards at work. They don't care you went to church.
They care about your bottom line. They don't care that you work khakis to church. They don't care that you know some Bible verses. They don't care that you gave in.
And you signed up for kids ministry. Like, hey, you still got to produce. You got to impress these people at work. You got to impress these people at church.
You got to impress these people in our culture. You got to impress your kids this way. You got to impress like the youth soccer parents by putting all the training in for $5,000 a year and never actually having a family dinner at your house. Everybody's got a different set of standards.
And you're measuring your renting out pieces of your heart. Dee's one of those groups of people. And it's a moving target. Last Sunday, my wife and I ran the half marathon, 13.1 miles.
Okay. Yeah. Primarily I did it for this illustration. Okay.
Let me just, I was getting ready to run that half marathon and my friend Doug says to me, this, he says, hey, I remember when I ran the half marathon. And it was so hard, I was looking at all these people, they're so fit. And it seems so easy for them. They're just running and they're smiling, experiencing the joy of heaven.
And I'm not experiencing the joy at all. I'm hurting. And I look at all these people. And some of them are like 30 years past, me and they're older.
But they're like running and they're smiling and they're trying to talk to me. And I'm looking at all these people. And I felt so bad about myself. And I felt so insecure about myself.
But then you know what, Tim? I thought about all those other people at home watching SportsCenter. And then I felt better about myself. And I started running with a shred.
And I'm like, yeah, that guy at work. He could never, he could run five miles, must have started. And all these other people are lazy at home. And I was so much better than them.
And I thought at first I was like, maybe I'll use that strategy while I'm running. But I thought, man, how exhausting is that? Because you start taking the group of people watching SportsCenter at home and how they view you have the people at the race that you're currently at, how they view. The people at church you think you're a heathen because you skip church to run the race in your pastor and how they think about you.
And the people who are running the Boston marathon, full marathon, you're like, oh, how sweet, you ran a 10 minute mile, great for you. And all the people online, that 8 billion people in the world who don't even know you ran a race and enter pain and suffering. They don't care. And how exhausting that is.
Do you feel that today? I feel that as a pastor. I feel that as sometimes I'm tempted to come in here and try to win your approval. And sometimes I'm tired on Sundays after I preach to services and the week and everything like that.
Sometimes I'm tired because I just study hard and sometimes I'm tired because we have a lot of things going on our church and our church is growing and all those types of things. Sometimes I'm tired because I'm like, I'm trying to please theological Bobby over here, pragmatic Susie over here and little Johnny who's picking his nose and looking at his phone right here. And how am I going to do it all? My elder's over here and my staff over here.
And let me just say, praise God, I'm not exhausted like that every Sunday because I'm doing that. But in my first three years as a pastor, it was every single Sunday. Every single Sunday. I can go back and listen to those sermons and I don't know why I torture myself this way.
But I go back and listen and every single sermon is different. I don't mean like a different passage. I mean, I was a different person. I can tell.
I can tell. Hey, that Sunday you were trying to press theological Bobby. And then the next Sunday, like you got him, he likes you. You're the next Charles Virgin.
Great. But in the next Sunday, this lady's like, hey, what about Andy Stanley? Can we get some pragmatism? Hey, can we get some practical stuff to help my marriage and to help my parenting?
All that theological stuff. I don't even get that stuff. There's a bunch of dead guys. What do I do in my real life?
And then next Sunday I was like, I'm going to bring it for Sandy. And then just over and over, I was giving my heart to all these people and hoping that I had their approval. And it was exhausting. And to be honest, it was hard to listen to.
Don't go back and listen to that podcast. So I'm subject to this. We're all subject to this at different times. And it's crushing our soul.
And let me just tell you, the more you think about what other people are thinking about you that way, the less you're thinking about what God thinks about you. And the one person in your life that counts that matters for the present and for all of eternity, what they think about you is God. And you need to give some time to what he thinks about you. And March after one, at the beginning of Jesus' ministry, in Christ, he tells us what he's thinking about us.
He calls us beloved sons and daughters with whom he is well pleased with. That what God thinks about you. If you know Jesus Christ, this is good new church. And God thinks about you.
If you know Jesus Christ, it was settled at the cross. Not after your performance review. Not after you post that thing on social media. Not after that one friend finally gives in and is able to celebrate you.
You know that friend? They're just like, they just want to celebrate me. Everybody else. I just want a good job for my dad or my friend.
And you know, that was settled by God the Father at the cross of Jesus Christ 2000 years ago. What kind of freedom would you walk in if you walked in that identity? That would free your soul, not crush your soul. That's what we have in Christ.
Listen, James and John, the sons of Zebedee came up to him and said to him, that's Jesus. Teacher, we want you to do for us whatever we ask of you. Jesus just said, I'm going to be one week away. I'm on the path.
I'm going to be spit upon, humiliated, killed, and across. The disciples, teacher, we want you to do whatever we ask of you. Now, parents in the room, how many times have your kids come to you and said, hey, mom and dad, I have a question for you. Oh, yeah?
What's the question? Before I ask you, I have to say yes in advance. I don't know how you roll as a parent, but my answer is immediately no matter what the question is. Jesus is about to die on a bloody cross for these people, for these people.
And he doesn't respond like I would or you would. He responds graciously. Look at it with me. He says verse 36, what do you want me to do for you?
And they said to him, grant us to sit one at your right hand and one at your left hand in glory. Jesus is about to die on a cross and they're picking out thrones on Amazon. That's what they think. That's what they're picturing.
Jesus, you're going to be sitting on this throne made of diamonds probably. Can I get a silver one to your left and a gold one to your right? What is that going to look like? And Jesus says to them, you do not know what you were asking.
Are you able to drink the cup that I drink or be baptized with the baptism with which I am baptized? Jesus says I'm about to take on the wrath of God for sin. That's what the cup imagery is in Scripture. The wrath of God for all of sin.
You want to share in that? You want to be a part of that? You want to be not in the throne next to me but on a cross next to me? Is that what you were looking for?
And they said to him, verse 39, look at that verse. This is unbelievable. We are able, Jesus. I love the message version.
It says it this way. Sure, why not? And Jesus said to them, the cup that I drink, you will drink the baptism with which I'm baptized. You will be baptized.
He says, you're going to suffer. You're going to suffer. If I suffer and I'm perfect, you're imperfect. You suffer.
But to sit at my right hand or my left is not mind or grand but it is for those who it has been prepared. And when the ten heard it, they began to be in dignity. James and John. Listen to what's happening here.
You have 12 men who left their homes, their family, their jobs to follow a guy named Jesus Christ on this mission that's leading to this cross, leading to this day, the biggest day. His day. What he came on earth to do, die on the cross with a sentiment kind. But also his darkest day.
And they left their families. They left their job. They left their comfort. They left their security.
All they have is each other. And Jesus. And in a moment, jockeying for position, comparing themselves to one another, trying to establish their rank, they miss out on all of it. They miss out on Jesus.
They miss out on relationships with one another. I love it. Luke 22 that records the same account. It says that this way just sums it up.
A dispute arose to which one of them was the greatest. What's this about? Which one of us is the greatest? Which one of us is better than the other person?
Oh, I'm behind you. I'm in dignity with you now. Compare and send kills relationships. Here's what it does.
Only two things. Craig Grohl says it. Compare and makes you feel superior or inferior. And neither one honors God.
And what I would say is neither one makes relationship possible. Here's the way it teases out. If you find someone else to beat in comparison, that leads to pride. And in pride, you begin to use that other person.
Or someone beats you. And that leads to envy. In an envy, you resent other people. How many of you know pride using people, resentment, are not the pillars of healthy relationships?
You see the Bible. You see the Mark 10, you see what these disciples, you see what David and Saul in the Old Testament. But Saul is hunting David like crazy. Why?
He's like, hey, you killed this many people, Saul. That's fine. But David killed this many people. And it literally drove Saul insane.
If you watch that show, the house of David, they show it very vividly. He goes insane. Hunting this guy, David, because he compared himself to another. You see it in Joseph and his brothers.
They code him in colors. He's the favorite one. That goes well with your brother. They throw him in a pit.
They try to kill him for years over comparison. The first actual killing. Cain and Abel. How does it happen?
Cain and Abel give their sacrifices unto God. Cain starts comparing his sacrifice to Abel. And all God treats Abel and he takes his life. And I think for many of us as we look at stories like that, we're like, I'm not killing anybody over comparison.
But how many of you is killing your marriage? How many of you, instead of watering your grass and making it greener in your marriage, you think the grass is greener on the other side, at the gym or on social media or that girl you went to school with? And how many of you internally that's killing your marriage? How many of you with your kids?
If you think about their soccer career when they're seven years old and instead of cheering them on at the game, you look like a crazy person who's trying to see like Cristiano Ronaldo, Lionel Messi, Ashwin Burdwell. Like as a seven year old, go get that scholarship. Go get that career. And you're paying $5,000 a year for training.
And you never have dinner at home with your family. And you never let them know. Like, we just love each other and we can be present with each other and we can accept each other. And I can resemble your father in heaven's heart for you.
I don't care what you do. I don't care how many goals you score. I love you, I want to be with you. That creates a successful human when they're 25, whether they play soccer or not.
But you don't have time for that. Because if you're honest, you just, your friend and his kid that's crushing it, you just want to beat them and it's driving you crazy that you can't. And some of you are like, Tim, how do you know the ins and outs of this so well? And I would say, we don't need to talk about that right now.
It's about your life, not my life, no. Now this has studied me all week. Yeah, I do have some examples. It's killing our relationship with our kids.
It's killing our marriages. It's killing our friendships. You cannot connect. You cannot serve.
You cannot love someone while you're trying to compare yourself to them. You cannot do it. My wife and I, after we ran the South Marathon, we went to a marriage retreat because we wanted more pain and suffering. No, it was good.
It was actually a good marriage retreat. Our marriage is not in crisis. We're healthy, but another church paid for this marriage retreat for pastors and to keep your pastor healthy, amen. That's a good thing.
And so we went to this marriage retreat. But let me just tell you guys in the room who don't want to go to this kind of stuff. You should go to this kind of stuff. Amen.
All right. We're going to work on that. Amen. Just say it right now.
And deal with the details later. But we said marriage retreat. Let me just tell you. The standard was not that high.
For my marriage, for my parenting. Here's what the standard was. Be present. Wherever you are, be there.
Not be superhero dad with cat-capped flapping in the wind. Not memorize the whole Bible and disseminate it to your children each night before they go to bed while they're crying and don't want to brush their teeth. Not like go on mission trips, like to your out of money and show your kid what it means to live without money and show your kids what it means to love Jesus and fasting. I mean, yes, all those things are good to do.
But the biggest challenge they had for us was be present. Sometimes just say no to golf. Sometimes just say no to that text message. Sometimes just leave your phone plugged up.
All of us in that room felt convicted. Hold that so hard. Really? You don't have to be super dead.
Just be where you are. You know what that's so hard? Because none of us are where we are. We're somewhere else in our mind comparing ourselves.
We're somewhere else like literally online comparing ourselves. And what if you just set that aside and stopped being shoulder to your spouse who were face to face, stopping shoulder to shoulder with your kids. And I'll think about it all the way. They don't measure up and you want to give them a better life.
I know it's good intentions and you're face to face. And like a father, a perfect father in heaven, you just saw him. You loved him. You laughed with him.
You enjoyed him. Not the buzz on your watch or the app on your phone. That was our marriage retreat. What if we just did that?
No, it's supernaturally transformed families around the globe. What if we started there? What if we started there as men who love our wives? What if we started there as parents who love our kids?
What if we started there as the baseline for what friendship looks like? We had a couple this morning that were young adults and they were like, hey, this is kind of a big question, kind of random. I'm not sure if you can help us. Is there a place where we can be known and seen by others?
Like, yeah, I think we can help you there. I think we can help you there. I think God can supernaturally change your life and change your relationships if we just did that. But comparison is killing our relationships.
So we need to kill comparison. That's the last thing today. The Puritans used to say this way, be killing sin or it will be killing you. And I would say that doesn't apply.
That applies to comparison, I think more than anything else. If you accept comparison, it's just what I do. It's just I start my day with my phone. I end my day with my phone.
Maybe I have a little insomnia and anxiety and depression because of it. But that's everybody. If you just accept it and you don't actively intentionally kill it, it will kill you. So how do you kill it?
Hebrews 12, 1 through 2 says it this way. Let us also lay aside every weight and sin which clings so closely and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us looking to Jesus. Not looking around, looking to Jesus the founder, perfecter of our face. So three questions today.
What do you need to lay aside? What do you need to lay aside? Some of you, it is actually your phone. You need to lay it aside.
You need to have a time in your day, 6 p.m. We lay it aside. We plug it up. We put it in a lock box.
I love this one guy said it this way. Hey, every night before you go to bed, here's what you need to do. Put your phone under your bed. Because in the morning when you go to scrambling to look for it, you've got to start your day on your knees.
And while you're on your knees, before you find your phone, ask God to help you. Ask God to give you his new morning mercies today. What do you need to set aside? What thoughts do you need to set aside?
It's better over there. They're happier. The best life is someone else's life. And you stop living your life because of that.
You need to lay that aside. The best life is what God has called you to. Uniquely you. Run your race.
How many of you know in a 13.1 mile, half marathon, in a 5k, in a sprint? Here's how you are destined to lose a race. You want to know? Look back at the other lane.
Look back at the other person. See how they're running. See how they're doing. You're not going to win the race.
How do you need to win the race? You look to Jesus, the founder, the finisher of your faith, the one who decided 2000 years ago to cross how he felt about you. They're approved. You're complete.
You're righteous in him. You look to him and be freed up to run faster and to fulfill the unique purpose that God has designed you with. Listen, there is only one person who can love and serve J.A. Birdwell.
That's me. There is only one person that can parent Nila Ashwin and Tannaby. That's me. And I believe in this season God has called me uniquely to pastor Phoenix Bible Church.
That's my race. I don't need to look at the other lanes. I don't need to look at the guys who are pastor in other churches that are bigger than mine or look that way on Instagram. I don't need to look at the other couples who have this marriage or going to Tahiti on vacation while I'm scraping last night spaghetti off a bowl.
I don't need to be obsessed with that. I can look at that. Why would I look at that? Why would I look around when I can look to Jesus Christ who calls me beloved and he created the whole universe?
I think I'm going to look to him. Amen? What race has God uniquely called you to run that race? Stop looking around and start looking up at Jesus Christ, the founder and the finisher of your faith.
We're going to take communion this morning. We're going to do all these things. We're going to set aside some things. That's called repentance in Scripture.
As we take the communion elements, that's what we're doing. We take some time. If you're wondering, we have a little break. You're like, is this just like a momentary pause for feelings?
No, this is a time for you to pray. For you to confess, for you to repent. For you to think about real tangible things in your life. You need to set aside.
You need to put over here that comparison, that envy, that jealousy, that strife, that sin, that insecurity that's crippling you. And you say to Jesus, Jesus, I confess. And I give that to you. You don't stop there.
You turn. You turn to him. I receive your purpose. I receive the opportunity to sacrifice for your glory and for the good of others.
And I don't want to be caught up in this hamster anymore. I'm exhausted. I'm tired. I'm spent.
And Jesus, I know you have a better way. I want to turn and I want to run that race. Help me, Jesus. It's repentance.
So as we take the elements, I want to give you a moment to do just that, to look to Jesus, to lay aside every weight. It's hindering you from following him and fulfilling your purpose. But you do that now. Take a moment.
Bow your head. Do that now. Repent. Experience forgiveness.
Experience freedom in Jesus Christ.