confucian virtues, discernment, and the paradox of caregiving

This is the second episode of a new audio series called “Living Philosophy”, recorded live from my class in Berlin. Listen to the first episode here.Timestamps00:00 landing in the body04:09 the chinese psyche: buddhism, daoism and confucianism 5:59 theme 1: discernment. who is worthy of your depth? (refer to Material below)9:44 prompt 110:25 theme 2: caregiving. reciprocal or extractive?12:02 prompt 213:02 a personal story: “i will not be the deep person in the room for three months; i’m only talking about your t-shirt”MaterialThis week, we focused on a passage from Xunzi, a classic Confucian text. Do not answer one who asks about something improper. Do not ask questions of one who speaks on something improper. Do not listen to one who tries to persuade you of something improper. Do not debate with a person of combative demeanour. Only if people approach you in the proper way should you receive them.If they do not approach you in the proper way, then avoid them. And so, only if they follow ritual and are reverent should you discuss the methods of the Way with them.Only if their speech is calm should you discuss the pattern of the Way with them.Only if their countenance is agreeable should you discuss the culmination of the Way with them.To discuss these things with those unfit to discuss them is called being presumptuous. Not to discuss these things with those fit to discuss them is called being secretive.To discuss these things without first observing the person’s manner and countenance is called being blind. The noble person is neither presumptuous, nor secretive, nor blind.They carefully act according to the other person’s character. Reflective Writing Prompts*  What modes of relating do you default to? Are there situations where you are – in Xunzi’s terms – presumptuous or secretive or blind?* Reflect on the systems, places, and communities you are in. Where do you give your care, your emotional labor, your life force? Where is it reciprocal, and where is it extractive? Make it actionable: Where can you call back your energy?Further reading* Xunzi: The Complete Text by Eric L. Hutton. A clean English translation with plenty of footnotes, useful for understanding Chinese history and contexts. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit yunshu.substack.com