I'll make it in gumbo, toss some sausage in the pot. I'm gonna flavor it with no crud, try and pepper, make it happen. Welcome. You hear the thin, reedy voice of 72 year old Paul Simon, you know that can only mean one thing.
Well, two things. First being a good time, second being, this is greasy little cookboys. Well, the constant eaters, we're the constant eaters. Oh, well, the show is the constant eaters and we are the greasy little cookboys.
That's right, I'm getting all right. Okay, all right. Welcome to the constant eaters, a gaming production, we are the greasy little cookboy, Robin Dan. Welcome to the constant eaters, the home of the greasy little cookboys.
Except this week, the home of HBO. Ah, yes. And that's so helpful for the listener. Yeah, I mean, I feel like it's as helpful as a giant corporation rebranding.
Yeah, yeah. If you have like a, if you have some graph paper or, like what's like one of those apps that let you make flow charts for work. I'm sure a powerful one. You could map out, yeah, map out our various subsidiaries.
When speaking, our shell companies. Yeah, not, I mean, speaking of subsidiaries, did you see how much Black Rock owns through all of their subsidiaries? Just like generally? Yeah, just in general.
Yeah, everything. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, they're a bit of an obelisk, aren't they? They were just like humming with power, throbbing with power.
It's the kind of power that you only really read about in like fantasy novels or, you know, some sort of something with like an overlord, you know? Like an I of Sauron, but this is Black Rock. It's just, it's a company. Yeah, what happened?
Like how'd this come up for you? Well, I guess it came up like, what was it? Like two or so months ago when they were having like riots in France, right? Where the riots, wow, time is a flat circle, huh?
Yeah, once again, that is happening. Not the riots that are currently happening. These were different riots for different reasons. These were different riots from not that long ago.
France is always rioting though. Like are these the, are you talking about the pension riots? Yes, yeah, the retirement or whatever. But during that, during that like time, during those riots, I just saw some news report about how people in France, they just threw Molotov cocktails at Black Rock office.
Ah, okay. Which sent me down a rabbit hole. Like I knew of Black Rock. Oh no.
I knew that they were like a huge company, but like, you know, I didn't realize just how huge and even the word, I don't know what. It's like all consuming. Yeah, yeah, that's a good word for it. They have a diversified portfolio.
Sure do. Sure do. Yeah. You know what?
We are going to take our financial managers advice and diversify. Let's just do it. One of everything. We'll start with one of everything and then we'll take it from there.
Yeah, they're very popular with the right wing cranks. Oh, that's weird. As you can imagine, doing no small part to their CEO being a fellow named Larry Fink. And I'll leave you to guess what they have against him in particular.
Oh no. I know. I know. Off to a dark start here.
Well, yeah. As black as the rock itself, as I should have said, as dark as a black rock itself. Yeah. You know what else is as dark as a black rock?
The nighttime. You know what else happens at night? Oh, wow. The moon.
The moon happens. OK. That big old wheel of cheese in the sky. The moon.
Rob, can I just say? You're not wrong. Thanks. If you look outside, can I get it?
Can I editorialize a bit here? Oh, please, please. My opinion. This does not represent Rob's opinion or the opinion of the constant eaters or even King Me at large or parent companies.
Sure. In my opinion, if you look outside at night up in the sky in just the right direction, you're going to see that moon. It's true. That's a virtual guarantee.
Yeah. How is that relevant to anyone who closed their eyes when they hit play on it? Well, of course, we're talking about the deadly moon quake. No, I'm not talking about your 2023 bingo card.
Ooh. I'm, of course, talking about the drink from the Castle Rock cookbook, Dan. This also was not on my 2023, whatever year. Yes, so we are technically not the constant eaters this week, are we?
Are we? The constant. The social drinkers. Yeah, the constant guzzlers is what we're going to be.
We've got problems. Yeah, I got 99 problems. And booze is every last one of them. So let's just say, let's blow right past that.
We're not unpacking that. Do you save that for your WTF appearance? You talk about that. Let's just say this is someone's first time listening to a constant eaters episode.
What are we doing here? Well, Rob found this cookbook. I did. A cookbook of King-themed, Stephen King-themed recipes inspired by his many characters and scenarios from his books.
Characters and stories. You know, the characters, they reflect us in the way that they drink in some stories, or eat, sometimes in these stories. And in a lot of ways, the story itself is like a character. Yeah, right.
You could say that about stories in general, except each one of them is their own character. But let's save that for the sometimes readers. Those guys, those fucking nerds. All right.
Point Dexter Dan and Point Dexter Rob are all there he goes. They're fucking, they're always reading books. Not us. We're just, we're a bunch of fucking the govones over here.
We're just eating and drinking. That's right. I'm a gourmand, I'm a hedonist. Let's do it.
So we got this, it's called the deadly moon quake. It's taken from a line from drunken fireworks, Rob. Dan. How many times have you read drunken fireworks?
Exactly zero. OK, cool. Me too. But I did read a quick synopsis of the story.
Well, tell me about it, because it didn't occur to me till right now that I could have done that. I know. So this is a, I think it's like 30 pages or something. Short story in the, was it the Bazaar of Bad Dreams collection.
And the story is basically about a guy who comes into a little bit of money and him and his mother, I guess they buy a house near a lake. So their new money and their neighbors are old money. And they get into a Fourth of July fireworks arms race, where each one is trying to get the bigger, better fireworks display for the Fourth of July. This is fun.
That's like, it's not Christmas with the cranks, is it? No, I'm not sure. I don't know that one. No, there's another one where there's like a, well, I guess it's like that National Lampoon's vacation.
Well, yeah, we're there like trying to like have the best Christmas display or whatever. Yeah, sure. Yeah, I thought it was kind of fun, because we didn't plan this to come out on the Fourth of July. Oh, that is fun.
I didn't realize it was the Fourth of July. Yeah, and you know, there's going to be some drunken fireworks being set off maybe as you listen to this podcast. Yeah, because they got their folks. And we're recording this on the third.
This might be the last time you hear me with my fingers. Yeah, it could be. I have been working on my juggling M80s routine. I'm getting pretty good at it.
I'm just saying. I think I'm ready to light them up. See, not me. I got to have them lit or else I can't really.
I got to dive in head first. Right, that makes sense. Have you ever seen a Santa woman? That's a Al Pacino.
Hua! Haven't seen it, but I've certainly smelt it. It's a weird, weird movie. Al Pacino plays a guy who was blind, and he went blind.
While he was performing a show in his army days where him and his partner, they were juggling grenades. And then he was drunk at the time. And he started pulling pins on the grenades. And one of them went off in his face and blinded him.
That's the movie's starting point. Right, that's how Al Pacino loses his sight in the very popular movie, Santa woman. It's weird. But these aren't drunken.
That's like a, that's like something you'd seen in Friggin' Anchorman or something. That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Yeah, so stupid. No.
So why are we talking about Santa woman? Oh, right, going blind. Yeah, going blind yada yada. No, today we're going to be making and drinking the deadly moon quake.
Let's talk about it. Yeah, let's. Pretty simple. Only three ingredients.
Four if you count ice cubes for shaking. Yeah, that's weird that they include ice cubes for shaking. Why? Kind of goes without saying.
Well, all right. I would say in defense of this, it is a cookbook first and foremost. Totally. I'd say if this were like a cocktail guide, maybe it's like, you fucking better have ice on hand.
Yeah, what are you doing? Shaking it with a hot air. Come on. Yeah, so Rob, I've got to be honest with you.
Yeah. I'm not a big drinker these days. Oh, Dan, me either. I got some chips I'll be flushing down the toilet.
No, I'm kidding. Of course. Of course. Anything for the podcast.
Anything for the podcast. Anything for the podcast. There's nothing I won't do for the podcast. Yeah, yeah.
You go to your next A and E and you really just had to it was for the podcast. Yeah. Yeah, it's like my name is Dan Gaglery already. I can subscribe.
Lincoln says. Don't forget to leave a review. Once you smash that subscribe button right below. I can tell you my last name, but you go to King Podd, dot whatever.
I don't know. Wow. I need a couple drinks. I'm not in the pocket right now.
You might need a cocktail. So what's in this? This here cocktail, Dan. Yes, to quote the Christmas song that everyone's afraid of.
So say what's in this drink? Well, we got ice cubes for shaking. No, I'm good. One and a half ounces of dark rum, one ounce of coffee brandy such as Allen's coffee brandy.
I'm not right there. Allen's guy. Yeah. All right.
Coffee brandy is not a thing that I was that I'm familiar with, right? Okay. I've bartended in the past. I've worked around bars for many years and I've never seen coffee flavored brandy before and it looked it up and it seems like the only coffee brandy you could get is this Allen's coffee brandy.
And where do you know it? It come mainly. It's made and distributed right out of New England. Of course.
This is they must have gotten in cahoots. They're like, hey, mind if I squeeze my company into that bookie or the throw a couple coffee brandy cocktails in there? Well, I'll tell you what, this Teresa Carl Sanders. Yeah, she's the real deal.
She's a true New Englander. Ah, she is indeed. She also may be on the take. I don't know if she could be bought.
Oh, yeah. I mean, how much extra money do you think the Allen's company is flying around? Give her 50 bucks. They're like, they're losing money hand over fist.
They're just like, fuck, fuck, fuck. We are. We are. We're taking money.
Stupid idea to be a coffee brandy. It's like, yeah, it's like a, I think you should leave sketch over it. I really want this to make money. Yeah, I really want it to.
So this coffee brandy, you didn't have either. No, so I think we have a coffee liqueur that I'll be using. Is it Kalua? I have, I think I have Kalua.
I use Mr. Black coffee liqueur and it's not as sweet as Kalua, but I think the coffee brandy is supposed to be on the sweeter side. So maybe I will use a Kalua in this. Interesting.
Yeah, because you recommended I get Kalua and part of me was like, fuck you, I'm trying to, yeah, part of it, you know, that part of me, the most forward part of me was like, fuck you, I won't do what you tell me. Yeah, yeah. Fuck, tell me what's going on. Some of those that, some of those that work forces are Rob Avon.
Cool. I know, well, you said, you said Kalua works and in my mind, I'm like, Kalua never works is Rob trying to undermine me so that his is better than mine. That's the other part of me. Two parts.
Two parts. Hey, much like this drink. No, there's three parts. Do you, you're not a Kalua fan, I guess?
That's fine. You know, my, my, my sort of association with Kalua is, yeah, I, I drank it a lot in high school because me and my dipshit friend, Mark, we're, we're really into the big Lebowski, right? Yep. Or like, well, if it's good enough for this burnout, if this, if it's good enough for my idol, Jeff, the dude Lebowski, if this man who has no money drinks it, it must be good.
Yeah. Yeah. This, this man who, everybody in the movie is calling a loser. Yeah, it must be good enough for me.
Yeah. I don't think there's anything wrong with Kalua. It's just on the sweeter side. The, the, the black, like, liqueur.
It's just like a cold brew coffee liqueur. There's no sweetness to it, which is just a little bit nicer when you're doing like an espresso martini. Yeah. You mentioned espresso martinis.
I've never had an espresso martini, but it sounds like a real classy vodka red bull. So I would like to try it sometime. That's exactly what it is. Mm-hmm.
Like, yeah, I could put some, if you will, off the breath though, the way that espresso martini might. Honestly, honestly, I'd rather be, you know, dusting a room with coffee breath than red bull breath. That's pretty, pretty grotesque. Yeah.
Sure. So this does seem like it's going to be sweet. So because in addition, for me, it's going to be very sweet because in addition to Kalua, I also, my rum component is a crack in. The crack in.
It's going to be releasing the crack in. Another haven't really drank it since like high school college kind of thing. Ever since you went through your clash of the Titans face. My, my epic bacon era.
Yeah. Release the crack in. Is that, is that right? I don't know.
I've never seen that. Right. I don't know. I've never seen it.
Right. Dan, it is right. Oh, that's good. You don't have to look it up.
Is it, is there a thing with Liam and the use of peanuts pants? Oh, yeah. The man pees his pants on a regular basis. He's also got a big old hog.
We all know that. So he could say that he could say release the crack in before either whipping his hog out or being his pants or not whipping his hog out. Is it Janice Dickinson? Is that the, yeah, what is it named as penis?
No, Janice Dickinson is a, she's a, you know, retired, whatever you want to call it, super big model. She's 68 years old. She wrote a book some years back. A tell all and boy did she, she said that Liam Neeson was hung like an avian bottle, which is pretty big.
Pretty big and specific. Yeah. So you know, she looked at it and it, you know, in the moment, it evoked an avian bottle. Yeah.
Stikinson. Was she on the surreal life on VH1? That sounds familiar. She, yeah, she went to reach.
She went to, she wasn't looking and she was reaching for a drink and she, oh, no. She, she got one. She got one. Oh, no, no, no.
Bit of a, so she had, she had Bailey's that night. Oh, Jesus Christ. All right. Irish cream.
Disgusting. So I am worried about this being sweet because I do have crack and Ankeloua in play. The deadly case of sweet liqueur in my opinion. Right.
All the one is liquor. But you've also got that lemon that's going to go in there. I know. Which is, I'm hoping we'll cut out some of that sweetness for you.
Yeah. I mean, it fucking better, Rob, or what am I going to do? I'm fucking ruined if it doesn't. I am so fucking fucked.
Rob, he, this, there's that drink. That's like a thing, right? People love espresso and lemonade together. Oh, I've never, I've never had that before.
It's like a classy drink that people enjoy. It's called like a, I forget, I forget. There's a name for espresso. Oh my God, the barista listeners are probably screaming at their phones right now.
Is it a thunderbolt? Not, not the name I've known it by. I think you can call it anything you care to. You can call it whatever.
I'm seeing Brazilian thunderbolt espresso glitter lemonade. Uh-uh. Stop. Get out of here.
But yeah, it's apparently an Algerian concoction. So thank you to the good people of Algeria for that innovation. Ooh. All right.
Well, I'll try that. Yeah, so there's precedent here. And like, the amount of sugar coming through, I think, I think this could work. I'm not totally out on it before trying it.
Yeah, no, it could work. So what do you want to, you want to take, I'm going to take that one again. So do you want to, duh. Do you take it again or not?
It's all staying in. I know this. I just like on the second, adding more. Duh.
Yeah. Should we take a break? Go make some drinks and then come back? Yes.
I should also mention I don't have a tumbler. So we'll see what happens. All right, we'll be right back.