Conte on the rocks, cucumbers, and an ox on the brink of extinction

With Chelsea imploding once again, your Totally Football Team - AC Jimbo, ably assisted by David Preece, Jame Horncastle and Tom Williams - look at the problems at Stamford Bridge, preview all the big games in the Premier League and beyond, and talk more about club nicknames and international footballing idioms: RUNNING ORDER: • PART 1a: Conte’s unravelling at Chelsea; Abdoulaye Doucouré v Tiémoué Bakayoko; the Hawthornes Triangle (02m 00s) • PART 1b: West Ham sign Patrice Evra (09m 50s) • PART 2a: Facebook Live quiz details (13m 00s) • PART 2b: Swansea’s flying under CC (13m 50s) • PART 2c: Spurs v Arsenal preview; GegenX; “football is about tricking your opponent”; how to defeat VAR (17m 45s) • PART 3a: Correspondence; all change at Leeds(27m 30s) • PART 3b: Ligue 1 news: Lemar, Dani Alves in goal (31m 00s) • PART 3c: Favourite own goals; La Liga news; Serie A round-up (33m 40s) • PART 4: Man City v Leicester and the Mahrez subtext; belated Brighton love; the Karius metamorphosis?; the rest of the PL weekend (38m 10s) • PART 5: More footballing nicknames from around the world (51m 50s) • PART 6: Paddy Power’s Movers and Shakers (55m 15s) • PART 7: More footballing idioms and adios (55m 00s) LIVE NEWS: • we’re live at Vicar Street in Dublin on Monday 19 March. Jimbo will be joined by James Horncastle, Julien Laurens and Pat Nevin - who’ll also be doing an exclusive DJ set. Get your tickets now! PARISH NOTICES: • join** Paddy Power’s Rewards Club** • get your shave on with our friends Cornerstone, who are giving you £10 off your first order GET IN TOUCH: • find us on Facebook • send us a tweet: @TheTotallyShow