Control Oneself אָפַק

We are moving into chapter 45 of Genesis with our word for today. אָפַק be strong, pluck up courage, hold, hold back, control oneself, pull oneself together, venture. It is used 7 times in the Old Testament. We see God himself showing restraint for a while before defeating his enemies. Isaiah 42:13-14 The Lord will march out like a champion, like a warrior he will stir up his zeal; with a shout he will raise the battle cry and will triumph over his enemies. “For a long time I have kept silent, I have been quiet and אֶתְאַפָּ֑קheld myself back. God again is seen as holding himself back because of his people’s sins. Isaiah 63:15 Look down from heaven and see, from your lofty throne, holy and glorious. Where are your zeal and your might? Your tenderness and compassion are הִתְאַפָּֽקוּwithheld from us. Isaiah 64:12 After all this, Lord, will you תִתְאַפַּ֖קhold yourself back? Will you keep silent and punish us beyond measure? We also see it used of people controlling themselves from doing something they feel like acting on. Esther 5:9-10 Haman went out that day happy and in high spirits. But when he saw Mordecai at the king’s gate and observed that he neither rose nor showed fear in his presence, he was filled with rage against Mordecai. Nevertheless, Haman וַיִּתְאַפַּ֣ק restrained himself and went home. This is the sense it is used in our chapter today. Genesis 45:1-3 Then Joseph could not לְהִתְאַפֵּ֗קcontrol himself before all those who stood by him. He cried, “Make everyone go out from me.” So no one stayed with him when Joseph made himself known to his brothers. And he wept aloud, so that the Egyptians heard it, and the household of Pharaoh heard it. And Joseph said to his brothers, “I am Joseph! Is my father still alive?” Now we saw earlier back in chapter 43 that he was able to control himself. Genesis 43:29-31 And he lifted up his eyes and saw his brother Benjamin, his mother's son, and said, “Is this your youngest brother, of whom you spoke to me? God be gracious to you, my son!” Then Joseph hurried out, for his compassion grew warm for his brother, and he sought a place to weep. And he entered his chamber and wept there. Then he washed his face and came out. And וַיִּ֨תְאַפַּ֔קcontrolling himself he said, “Serve the food.” So what changed from this time to the next when Joseph could no longer control himself. The big change in my opinion was that he saw a change of heart from his brothers. We saw yesterday that Judah was willing to take his brother Benjamin’s place because he cared more about his father and Benjamin’s life than his own. This showing of repentance I think was the key. Joseph could finally make himself known because he saw evidence that his brothers were facing their past like they needed to. God speaks through Paul to the Corinthians believers about the difference between just feeling sorry for sin and showing the desire to turn things around in your life and walk away from sin. 2 Corinthians 7:8-11 Even if I caused you sorrow by my letter, I do not regret it. Though I did regret it—I see that my letter hurt you, but only for a little while— yet now I am happy, not because you were made sorry, but because your sorrow led you to repentance. For you became sorrowful as God intended and so were not harmed in any way by us. Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. See what this godly sorrow has produced in you: what earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing, what concern, what readiness to see justice done. At every point you have proved yourselves to be innocent in this matter. Joseph wisely allowed his brothers to feel the pain of their sin so they would begin to repent. And as we have already seen allowing ourselves to feel the emotion of guilt in a healthy way, trusting God with it in true repentance we receive forgiveness, freedom, and gladness.