Hi and welcome once again to History Dweebz, I am Tim. Welcome to the podcast where we take a light-hearted look at the dark side of history and the title of our podcast today is Death Lewis Part, the story about convicted killer Robert Rattlesnake James. Robert Rattlesnake James was a murderer. We're going to talk about his Daster Ladies, but before we do let me remind everyone we are a true crime comedy podcast.
We use adult language and so if you find that offensive then we would invite you to check out some of the other fine podcast out there like they walk among us and Brandy's got a suggestion. Yeah Steve Papp as one of our listeners does a thing called, so this is Adulting, is that right? Yes it's a podcast. It's amazing, it's very funny, it's very funny and he does a great job with it so it's not true crime, it's a little off the beaten path but it's a wonderful podcast so if you get a chance check it out.
Yes and since I guess I should have introduced you. Whatever. I will do that now. Okay let me introduce the lady who is known throughout the land as Brandy to Benevolent.
Her Majesty Brandy the first. How are you Queen Brandy? All right how are you? I'm fine.
We're doing this podcast without the Colonel today. Because he's a diva. Yeah he was here but he left early so diva. We decided we wanted to go ahead and get this out so we apologize.
I know we've been doing this. I don't apologize. Well I apologize to our listeners because we don't have all three of us together. I know we're working on it.
Yeah we are working on it so until then you're just stuck with Brandy and I. So we talk about rattlesnake James. What's going on with you Brandy? We had New Years.
Yes. The whole everyone did actually. Everyone. I said we.
I said we. Collective We. Collective We had New Years. It was all it was you I had I went over to my relatives house and my they're mainly Mormons my husband has been asking me.
Do they believe in New Years? They believe in New Years but my husband asked me if we were going to party like it was 1899. Oh which was pretty close pretty close. I left there about to 30 came home to watch a intervention marathon.
So I was a happy girl. I watched Twilight Zone marathon. Did you? How was it?
Did it scare you? No it's great. Well good. Maybe 10 or 12 shows.
Did you? Like in a row because that's big for you to watch them in half hour increments. I mean it's like over the weekend I watched it. Oh no no no no.
I'm gonna be silly. I'll be silly. I know I know. I can't watch TV more than 20 minutes.
Yeah because that's not weird hitting the right. So um we're talking about maybe doing another week on in October. I read that. Are you excited about that?
I would love to do another Dweeb con. Wrath of Brandy whatever you've decided to call at that time. I would love to. We con to yes yes.
We're looking at fall like late September early October so if you want more information about that join our Facebook group page history we use the podcast where we'll be hashing out the details Brandy. I evidently that's what's gonna happen. Are you are you uh do you feel a little sad that the Colonel's not here? I do not.
He was here and he just left. He did. Without any consideration to our listeners. None.
The hell with the Colonel's bad girls I think is what he said. I think he did too. I heard that. I definitely heard it and um he is a bit of a diva.
We haven't we're having problems with him anyway. Yes but he should be back next time. No. That's a shame.
I know. Ooh wait a minute though and I want to send out a thank you to Tommy Lane who sent me three screw drivers in the mail. Nice. Like real screw drivers or like a drink?
No like real screw drivers. Oh that's nice for when I feel snappy and some really sweet ass post-its. So I appreciated that. That was very sweet.
Oh I got some very nice stickers from our friends at Bloody Murder and it's probably for all of it. Yeah I get one. Where's my? Well I work on it but thank you.
Is that gonna be too much for you to take on the bus? Darren Barney thank you for the very nice stickers. I really appreciate it. Can you get them on the bus or do you have to?
Those people who sent us very nice cards. Yes. I appreciate that. Christmas time.
That was very nice. Yes. So uh we've we've got some very nice listeners Brandy and I know why they all like the Colonel because I don't either but I love our listeners. I think they're pretty spectacular.
But the Colonel doesn't he just he just you know he doesn't take his obligations seriously. He's a twat waffle. Yeah so he's I want my sticker though. Let's talk I want a sticker.
See it's on the back of my computer. I saw that and I want to know can you bring mine on the bus? I mean look at your bag. I will bring it someday.
You'll bring it. Shout out to Matthew. Sunday. I see just saying Happy New Year to you and me and Chuck.
So thank you. We got a lot of that. We got a lot of that. Happy New Year to all of you.
I hope that you have it is Wednesday so I hope that you all have recovered. Yes. Had I been drinking on New Year's I would still not be recovered. You know who's not having good New Year's?
Robert rattlesnake James. Well tell me about him. Tell me. Tell me about him.
All right. Robert James. He's got two first names. See Jesse's brother.
I know. He was a little bit uh he was born in the 40s. 90. All right.
He was married five times Brandy. Well him Elizabeth Taylor. Yeah just like Elizabeth Taylor. And had a long term affair with his own niece.
Pretty gross. Yes you should have to. At least two of his wives died under suspicious circumstances Brandy. In each incident Robert collected large sums of money from insurance companies.
Of course he did. In 1940 Robert James was convicted of first degree murder and became the last person to be hanged in the state of California. So he is that uh you know. Oh that's a brag about.
Well I guess he can't brag about it. Well he sure can. He can brag about it in the afterlife. Robert S.
James Brandy. If he had a B.J. If he had a let's call him B.J. If he had a a monogram hanger shift it would be R.S.J.
I like B.J. better. He was actually born his name was Major Raymond. Listen ball.
Listen ball. First of all I'm sure you fuck that up but second of all L. I. S.
E. M. B. A.
Listen ball. But his first name was Major. Major. Major.
I don't like that. Why are they giving him? Why are they giving him military rank out of the back? Yeah like out of the back.
They're giving him that. Well it should people who give themselves military ranks without that's kind of a bitch move. Which might be our name the Archduke. Me too.
That'd be so cool. Because we'd be the only hard cast with an Archduke. We would. Maybe I would.
Maybe I would. You know we talked last time about I talked last time about changing my name to Diablo. Oh yeah. What do you think about Archduke Diablo?
I'd go for it. That's what I say. I say damn the man. Go for it.
You know I put that on Tinder. On my Tinder program. You all get it. Because I'm telling you what.
You know we don't get sleep with an Archduke very often. They do not. And I feel you'll have poo nanny coming at your ears. Well Major Raymond listen ball was born in 1895 to Alabama sharecroppers.
See that thing was kind of. That's like what is that kind of when you know you're like your. Oh it's predetermined. Yeah yeah yeah.
You know they're you know they're calling Major eventually he'll be a Major. Like naming your kid you know Sparkle. But why wouldn't you name him General if you're gonna. I mean you're General's pushing it.
It seems like you're you know you're waiting to kid down. You know you're putting limits on his expectation. But then if he achieves that then he's General Major and that doesn't make a sense. That's stupid.
That's true. That's why I say calling General. His name is um actually I'm glad he changed it. He was an odd boy Brandy.
Imagine that. Seems like we get that a lot when we're on these stories and imagine. He was an odd boy who was expelled from school for putting poisonous poisonous spiders on the toilet seat in the teacher's restaurant. Well boys will be boys.
Is that out of line? Boys will be boys. Yes. The great school principal was bitten on the penis by one of the spiders and had to be hospitalized for several weeks.
I have a problem with that. First of all I have a problem with it too obviously. Well look if they're on if you can get on the penis you probably would never got expelled. But here's the thing if they're on the toilet when you squish them when you sat down.
I don't know. Are they jumping spiders? Because if this guy wasn't a lot of detail exactly what happened and if this guy's just standing up to pee are they jumping spiders that jumped on him in business? Maybe he was going number two and he just crawled up and I mean.
You're thinking squish him when he sat down on his butt talks. Fact is stranger than fiction Brandy. So he's got. So he's in trouble with school because he's pretty.
Do they have to do they have to amputate? No I don't know but if you wonder if it happened to like just a regular teacher that he would much trouble. I think if you set the bug that bite somebody on the penis I think that you've you've pretty much sealed your fate. Well in sixth grade Brandy Robert was arrested for setting fire to an outhouse on the school property.
Sure because you should arrest sixth graders. They're assholes. Well another student was inside. Well come on.
It's not going a little bit too far. It is taking it a little far. In fairness because you know the kids running out he's got his underwear around his ankles falling down. Look in fairness aren't you supposed to light a match after you go number two anyway I'm just saying.
The student was not the interesting God. And although Robert was arrested the charges were eventually dropped. He was permanently he was held from school over the incident. How do you drop?
Wait a minute. He goes. He goes watching every time. I'm not going to go.
When he goes into the restroom I'm not following him because he goes burning bed on some kid and just gets like nothing seriously. He got school. Yeah but I thought he got expelled for getting for having the teachers. Pepe bitten.
Well he did but he didn't it wasn't permanent but when he caught the kid when you expel somebody gets permanent. Yeah now so then he went to work picking cotton and that it looked like his future was pretty bleak at that point brandy. Well but his sister's husband sent him to Marber school. Oh okay so he saved him alive of cotton.
Yes he married his first wife Mald Duncan. Mald. Age of 26 Mald. The very child quickly ended the divorce when she disquised him of being sadistic and engaging in perverted sexual practices.
Eww. Yeah nowadays it's kind of what we all hope for. Yeah I wonder what it was. I think it's more like Robert Bondage.
Back in the 40s. Oh yeah because Antle that you know true detective magazine. Dude it was butt stuff. I'm telling ya.
Maybe. Mary's number two also ended in divorce. He's tearing it up. Yeah he was married five times.
Yeah it's tearing it up. He ended in divorce when Robert skipped town after an angry father came after him with a shotgun for getting his young daughter pregnant. There we go. He soon ended up in Fargo North Dakota one of your favorite places.
Oh yeah. You like that movie right? It's a show. I do.
I like the movie and the tv show. I would never ever want to go there. And he changed his name to Robert James. Is that so the father wouldn't find him?
Yeah he's on the way him I think then. He married wife number three. Wianna Wallace. Wianna Wallace.
Wianna is better than Wianna. He's not much. Well it's better than Mald. I don't know.
Mald is a great show. Within days you know she was in the Marines. I did. Within days and we're talking about what's her name?
Be Arthur. Not Chloris Leachman. Not Chloris Leachman. She's a different person.
But she's amazing too. I wore Chloris Leachman. Yeah see I think I'm like she had that show Phyllis and it sucked. I don't know anything about Phyllis but she's amazing.
She's been off of. She's amazingly funny. Yeah. Like it had all kind of, it had Lou Grant spin off.
It had Rota. I had uh I don't know Ted Danson or Ted uh too close for comfort. Yeah that wasn't a spin off but he had his own show. Yeah.
Chloris Leachman should have her. I would watch her YouTube channel. And what was what was her name was on her right? The old lady.
Babe what? Yeah but she had a spin off. I don't know she had a spin off but she's she's had you know she's had a decent career. Yeah you know.
I know she did. She's not dead. She's dying or something. Not looking good for Rota.
I thought maybe she's dead. Yeah check it out. I'll look that up. Go ahead.
Finish your sentence finally. All right so within days of the wedding I'm marrying Waiona Wallace. Uh huh. Yeah yeah yeah James took out insurance policies on his wife which included clauses for accidental death.
Yeah you got to watch those. So he takes out this um insurance policy on her for accidental death. Guess where they went on her honeymoon? Uh I don't know the desert.
I speak. There we go. She is alive. Rota's still alive hanging in there.
Rota's hanging in there. I think she is not doing well. No she's better. So you don't know ship from apple butter what you talk about?
What's her name? Valerie Harper. Valerie Harper. Yeah ship from apple butter.
Well his wife was driving down the mountain according to James. She apparently lost control of the car and went off the road. He claimed he claimed that he jumped out from the moving car and went for help. When officials arrived at the scene of the accident they found the car resting against a large rock approximately 150 feet below the road.
His wife Waiona was just outside the car. Her feet resting on the running board. Oh this is when they had running boards. Remember that?
I'm receiving running boards back. Amazingly. I was at my shed on him. Amazingly she managed to survive this large drop and was unconscious.
The officials noted that her head was covered in blood. They also discovered a large amount of blood inside the car and a bloody hammer lying on the floor. That would give it away. Yeah it's probably had a hammer.
It was probably just flying in there when they should go down and hit and hit her in the head 18 times. Yes. Officials couldn't help but notice Brandi that although James claimed to have jumped to safety from the out of control car his suit was amazingly neat. Well you know you can't walk around disheveled after an accident.
You could be on the news. Maybe he's on the news. You've got to be camera ready at all times. All times.
They should not blame him for being neat. I mean that's a good thing. Yeah I don't. That seems to be a little out.
That was on call for. They should not have made note of his neatness. No. That's some should be we should encourage.
Seems prejudicial. Hey that's not a piece of clothing without a place brand. I'm telling you. Not a tear nor a speck of dirt could be found on a suit either.
So he's well dressed. He takes care of himself. I don't know. We own.
Why no. Is immediately taken to the hospital in Colorado at his rings and surgeons were able to save her life. Bummer for him. Unfortunately she was unable to remember any of the facts around her terrifying ordeal.
She does not remember driving off the cliff. Well. And that's one of those things I would thank you remember. Oh yeah.
Slips your mind. When my own has finally. When she was finally released from the hospital. Robert James took her to a remote cabin in Manatol Springs, Colorado.
Well she needed to rest. Why no. I'm the premise that she needed a quiet place to recover. Yeah.
So you're agreeing with this. That's legit. Right. Now the local Gerald Rogers worked at the local.
What was that? The Gerald Rogers worked in the local grocery store in Manatol Springs. So the IGA. Yeah.
Okay. In early in the early evening on October 14th, 1932 James entered a store, ordered some groceries and asked they be delivered to his cabin. Why he just didn't take him with him. I don't know.
Well you ordered. I mean didn't want to do all that. I tried. Uh, grub hub over the weekend.
That's like I mean never got sighted again. I'm not surprised by any of those words. You just pay him and I pick up all your food. I can't believe it took you that long to try it.
I know I'm over buying times. Um, especially being the hermit that you are. I can't believe that. It was perfect.
Bw3 is everything right to my house. Oh my gosh. In the end James decided to hit to ride back to the cabin with Rogers and his groceries. I don't understand why this guy's coming.
So wait a minute. Wait a minute. So I just want to make sure I have this clear in my mind. So he's delivering.
So B. J goes into the IGA. Uh huh. And click list some groceries.
Yes. He wants some groceries. So then the two of them. Yeah.
He wants them delivered. So then the two of them. So then the two of them. Back he just went through that fall.
Terrible fall. Well that's true. But then the two of them ride back to the cabin with the groceries. Yes.
Why you need that extra guy. Well not only they ride back. Yeah. Right.
They get to ride. Like the two of them hit to ride. Like in a truck. No he hits the ride.
Somebody has a car. Rogers was delivering the groceries. That's right. Oh so since you're going there anyway.
Can you give me a ride? It's like asking pizza to deliver food to someplace and then just going with them. But I mean yeah. So I mean since you're going anyway.
You mind if I just kind of slide on in there? Apparently that's what he had in mind. So uh when the two of them in a ride at the cabin he told Rogers to take the groceries into the kitchen while he went into search for his wife. We own a.
Why no no. And where could she be? She's got a huge working head injury. See where this is leading.
I do and I love that. But just take those on him for me. James suddenly appeared in a kitchen visibly upset Randy. Oh.
And he motioned for Rogers to follow him. The two men entered the bathroom where Rogers saw Lyona. Why no. Why not.
Lion on her back in the tub half filled with the lukewarm soapy water. She appeared to have died from drowning. Hey, so after going driving off the side of the mountain. Hey stranger.
Hey stranger. I know we're tight now because you're putting away my green corn in the fucking cabinet. But come in here because my wife is naked and dead. I need you to see it.
Yeah. He wanted to witness it. The corner. This guy's really not that bright.
He suggested the corner suggested that they do an autopsy. But James Robert James refused. Of course he did. Later he asked the corner to change the certificate to reflect that the drowning was a direct result of the car accident.
I remember you guys. Right. Right. Right.
Right. Well, right. He's got to make it look like an I don't understand. Maybe had the car had the they've been in the car that had gone into the bathtub.
Well, you know, it's just I think what he's saying here is that if not for the car accident she would not be out in the bathtub. Here's the thing. I understand what he's saying. I completely get that.
But what was the guy's case? He says it's not anywhere. His wife died in the bathtub. Oh, Ryan Whimmer?
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He ain't convicted him.
Right? Uh huh. Yeah. That case.
Well, that's his he didn't put a car in the bathtub though. I know. This guy's a little bit more. A little bit more flagrant activities.
All right. So he gets the corner to change the the death certificate to say that it was a direct result of the car accident. Although the death seems suspicious. There were no official investigations launched and James was able to collect $14,000 in the life insurance policy had taken out on why Ohna.
Oh my God. Immediately before after they were married. Oh, no, honey. 14,000 back then was a pretty good chunk of change.
It's a chunk of change now. Yeah, but back then it was a bigger chunk of change. I get that. With the money James bought a new car.
A Pierce Arrow convertible brandy. Ooh. A new ride. And a new wardrobe.
And a new wardrobe. And a new wardrobe. And a new wardrobe. And a new wardrobe.
Well, he's come one car drove off the side of the mountain. I know what any new wardrobe because he wore his one suit to the car accident. He headed back to his hometown in Alabama to share his good fortune with his family brandy. I'm sure.
And how does Robert James repay a sister and brother-in-law for sending him to barber school you might ask? He fucks their kid. He seduces their 18 year old daughter his niece, Lois Wright. And moves with her to Los Angeles where they set up his barbershop as he hunts for wife number four.
Why didn't he stay in Alabama just marry his niece? We got some Alabama listeners. But Roy Moore would have done that. That's what I'm saying.
She's 18. She looked old for one more. Okay, after his marriage. Oh, right.
That's a good marriage again. No. After his marriage, James filed papers to have a case. So he got married to wife number four, but he had what happened to wife number three.
Well, three was three Winona. Yeah. Okay. So he's divorced.
He's twice divorced and now widower. And now we got wife number four here out of fucking nowhere. We got a wife. Number four, that was a short relationship.
So she's just a blip. Yeah. They, the doctor required him take a physical exam to get married and what? I guess at the time there was some rules and law that they had to get married where they couldn't make a physical exam and he refused to do it.
So they had to marry Janold. It doesn't make any sense to me either. Well, I'm just reading it. I understand.
I don't understand why you'd have to do it. But Sidebar, I don't understand why they're need. Why would you refuse it? Unless he's got the sift or something.
I don't know. Why is he refusing it? Okay. It's major.
His name is major. His name is major. He's a major pain and he asks is what he is. During the time he married wife number five, Mary Bush.
Well, Mary was 27 year old beauty. I remember he's still banging his knees. I got that. Mary had to get a physical.
27 year old beauty. Uh huh. Whose unfortunate misstep was the man she chose to fall in love with in 1935 when she answered an ad for a job at a beauty parlor in downtown Los Angeles. The owner of the shop was none other than Robert James.
BJ. He was looking for a manicurist, Brandy. Aren't we all? Shortly after Mary was hired.
Uh that's certainly after Mary was hired and two were married within three months. And two months later the couple was expecting their first child. Mm hmm. So it's love.
On the evening of August 3rd, 1935, Mary fell while she was working at the shop. Oh, that's unfortunate. Her husband put her in a taxi and sent her home. Very considerate.
The following day, August 4th, Robert opened the store shop on his own. He told his employees that Mary was filling a little under the weather and would possibly come in later in the day if she was filling better. By 730 that evening, Mary still had not made an appearance at the shop. So Robert closed the store for the night.
He invited two friends uh co-workers. He has to join him at his home for dinner. Viola, Luke. It was a close friend of Mary's.
Viola. And her boyfriend, Jim Pendleton. Viola and Jim, he's biting him over to his house. Okay.
All right. When they arrived at his um pink stucco house, I don't know why I put that in there. Hard telling. But anyway, they lived in the suburb of LA.
Yeah. Robert was surprised to find a house was dark and there was no sign of Mary. Shocking. After searching the house, Robert and his guest headed out to the backyard garden where they made a ghastly discovery, Randy.
Was a ghastly. Okay. In the middle of the garden was a fish pond. Several goldfish could be seen darting beneath pink and white water lilies floating on top of the water.
In the center center, they sat a bearded gnome. A gnome? A good or gnome. Okay.
Smoking on a pipe. Sure as they are want to do. Smiling down upon an unexpected occupant of the pool. That occupant was none other than Mary Bush James, Randy.
Oh man. She was lying face down in the pool with her arms and her legs spread apart behind her back somehow. She's face down in the pool. Okay.
Well, Robert was of course shocked. That he said he's unlucky and loud, Randy. Yes, well. When the police arrived, they brought a physician with them and Mary was pronounced dead at the scene.
Of course. At first glance, it appeared like an accidental ground in Randy. Of course it did. Women are just drowned in all their place.
Mother, bitches need to learn to swim. Have an outlay from her in the sky. No, you run out risk when you have a fish pond and a gnome. Well, right.
You could hit your head on a gnome. Those gnomes, they're freaky. Because I think they come alive when you're not watching. They don't.
Yeah, like when you leave for the day, put a camera in it. Put a gnome in your apartment or your house and put a camera in there and leave for the day. Those some bitches come alive when you're when you're not around. Yeah, they don't, but that's okay.
I think the gnomes what killed her. Yeah. She'd always loved to watch goldfish Randy. At first appeared and it was an accidental drowning.
Robert explained to police that Mary was pregnant and it was having dizzy spells. Did you have dizzy spells when you were pregnant? Sometimes. All right.
Well, you know that that can happen. That does. Especially when you got a gnome around. Gnomes tend to kick me off balance.
It is no place like gnome. She also loved to watch goldfish, Randy. So you got gnomes, you got goldfish, you got pool, you got pregnant woman. You got, I mean, what happened?
It's the perfect story. What happened? So when the she loved to watch the goldfish, it was smised that when she became dizzy. She fell struck her head on the gnome and landed face down in the pool, knocked herself out, landed face down in the pool and drowned.
Yeah. That was what the, on the surface, that's what appeared to what happened. Yeah, well, on the surface. When the physician examined Mary, Mary's body, he found no evidence of head injury.
I feel like they need to look a little harder. But he did notice that her right leg was discolored and swollen. And then she had a cut right on her right great toe, big toe, I guess. What?
When the police searched the house, they found a note to Mary's sister. Robert confirmed it was her handwriting and when she told her sister that she was pretty sick, her leg was swollen, something had bitten her while she was watering her flowers that morning and she was going to go out in the backyard and look at the goldfish. And she was so undissing. While they were searching, one of the detectives discovered something was out of place.
Something was a misbrain. Well, the cut on the big toe because nobody cuts their toes. He found a bottle of black widow spiders in the dark corner of James's garage. A bottle of black widow spiders.
Yeah, but I only use them for my cauldron stuff. Given their unusual circumstances, the police were about to rule Mary Bush's James murder suspicious. Or isn't all murder suspicious. Really?
That's suspicious. You would think until he spoke to one of the neighbors, a retired English army officer named Dinsley. Dinsley claimed that he's seen a young woman walking alone in the garden near the pool. He's seen the young woman walk.
So he saw her out there by the pool by herself. A coroner's inquest was held and the question of how Mary James died remained unanswered, Randy. Fine. Well, unanswered to some.
Well, this guy's got pretty bad luck when it comes to his, he's like, Chuck, people just drop dead around him. No, the man's had, you know, he had some losses. He gets a pep to every time a wife drowns. God, he's got to sleep by now.
However, when Robert James filed a claim to collect on his wife's insurance policies totaling $21,400, he launched a chain of events that would lead to his downfall. Oh, see, always follow the money, Randy. His claim prompted the usual investigation by the insurance company, but their findings were anything but usual. Robert James, James, B.J., had obtained policies totaling $10,000, naming himself as his wife's beneficiary from the mutual life insurance company and the...
Just seems like a prudent thing to do. ...occidental life insurance company. Seems like a prudent thing to do. You would think, here's the trick.
But here's the trick. And kids, if you do, right. You drive off the mountain and then you drown in your bathtub later. Right.
Who was the guy from Def Leppard? Survived to pay? No, no, no, no. Leonard Skinner.
Yeah, he survived the plane crashing. He got shot. Yeah. We went to get help for trespassing.
That blows. But here's a lesson for all you kids. When you go to kill your spouse, how about you take out an insurance policy a few years ahead of time? Not like three days ahead of time.
Never know when things are going to happen, you know? Well, for Pete's sake. All right. So, he's got this $10,000 life insurance policy.
He tried to push for payment under the double indemnity clause. Well, he should, since it was an accident. The company refused to pay out and he filed a lawsuit. I wonder if they refused because there was a gnome involved.
Because sometimes the gnome, there's a gnome clause. And if no one... Is there? I went to law school.
There's a gnome clause in a million... But you're not a lawyer. It's more of a plate language. You didn't pass the law.
There's more plate language than most... It's not even a water language. It's the most insurance policies known as gnome clause. And if a gnome is involved in any suspicious death, that they would...
The insurance companies would not have to pay double indemnity. First of all, gnomes are involved in every suspicious death. And the second of all, I know... I don't know.
Like the little guy that helps me find my flights. Yeah, he's shading. He never locks the engine. Well, yeah, because he wants to know where you're going to be so he can rob your ass later.
All right. So, he filed suit. Unfortunately, he had to settle for $3,500. Well, he had to admit in court that him and Mary Bush were not legally married at the time.
He initiated the policies. Turns out, he was still married and in the midst of an element when he pretended to marry Mary. Pretending to marry Mary. Yeah.
The two were not legally married until several months later. Yeah. What did he do? He was doing his genealogy.
God, what a nightmare. First he changes his name. I don't mean to change his name. He changes his last name.