Cranes in the Sky: Why Black Women Fill Their Plates to Avoid Feeling the Pain of Loneliness

I woke up this morning feeling blah. I looked at my phone. And it was dry. Again. And it hurt.Then I thought about Monty—my first love, the man who introduced me to hip-hop. And I felt 12 years old again.Then I started yearning for love. And the anxiety crept in.So I took a nap. Because that's what I do when the pain gets too close.So I started sending out emails. Taking care of business. Filling my plate.Full time job. PhD. Campaign manager. Special Events Chair. VP of Programs. Podcast. Bookstore. Single mother. IEP battles. Medical advocacy. Blue Ballot event.I am doing the work of TEN PEOPLE.And then the sadness crept in again.And I said to myself: "I really need to go to that boxing trainer."And then I laughed at myself. Because I realized: The reason my plate is full is because of loneliness. I pile it all on to take up any space that my loneliness would allow that feeling to creep in.I fill my life up to not feel pain.And that's when I thought about Solange. I thought about "Cranes in the Sky." I thought about how she sings:"I tried to drink it away / I tried to dance it away / I tried to work it away / I tried to sex it away"And I realized: I've been trying to WORK it away. I've been filling my plate to not feel the pain of loneliness.In this episode, I break down Solange's "Cranes in the Sky" and connect it to the Sacrificial Bargain, the expectation that Black women must sacrifice their bodies, their time, their emotional labor, their peace for the community. I analyze Solange as an artist who has consistently refused the Sacrificial Bargain through verifiable career choices: leaving Columbia Records to maintain creative control, founding Saint Records to support Black artists, releasing A Seat at the Table as a refusal of respectability politics, and canceling performances to honor her own need for rest and healing.