Crash Landing - Look out atoll!

Fasten your seatbelts and stow your disbelief, because “Crash Landing” (2005) is Wynorski at cruising altitude—never aiming for art, but always ready to drop the landing gear on your funny bone. This is the kind of movie where gravity is optional, logic is banned from the cabin, and an entire cargo hold of explosions—many borrowed from other, possibly better, movies—are always just a nervous copilot away from erupting. If you’re a Wynorski fan, you know exactly what kind of clearance you’re in for: low, turbulent, and unapologetically entertaining. Antonio Sabato Jr. takes the stick as the world’s most reluctant action hero, trying to land a plane full of rich snotty college kids who end up in a kidnapping plot - over the Pacific Ocean. The acting, if you can call it that, ranges from “midday soap” to “community theater hostage situation.” The villains are less “Die Hard” and more “Weekend at Bernie’s,” bumbling their way through a hijacking plot so dumb you almost wish they’d succeed, just for the novelty. Special mention must go to the action set pieces—chiefly the endless parade of stock explosions and crash footage Frankensteined from the vaults of late-90s action movies. The airplane’s physics seem to exist in a separate reality where turbulence is whatever the camera operator can shake into frame, and gunfights happen in slow motion, possibly to save money on blanks. Add in the kind of CGI that would embarrass a 2001 Weather Channel forecast and you’ve got a recipe for a beautiful, cheesy mess. “Crash Landing” isn’t trying to fool anyone. It knows it’s ridiculous, it revels in being ridiculous, and, best of all, it delivers the kind of brainless, late-night fun that Wynorski made his name on. If you’re here for believable drama, you’ve boarded the wrong flight. But if you want to laugh, riff, and marvel at how many ways one movie can break the rules of both Hollywood and aerodynamics, this is your ticket to so-bad-it’s-good bliss.