Crimes of Passion, Crimes of Stupidity, and Crimes Against Squirrels

This week, we are blessed—and we do mean blessed—with a buffet of human foolishness so rich it should come with a warning label and a side of ranch.We kick things off with a woman who said, “You know what the food industry needs? More squirrels. And less licensing.” Because nothing says “culinary innovation” like a mobile, unregulated, rodent‑based pop‑up. We have questions. We have concerns. We have… rabies pamphlets.Then we move on to a man who managed to stay on the run for sixteen years—only to get caught because he just had to show up at the Olympics. Sir. Sweetie. Baby. You evaded law enforcement for almost two decades and then said, “But my team needs me”? That’s not patriotism. That’s stupidity with a flag on it.Next up: an Ohio Senate candidate who decided to fund his campaign by stealing from the Fraternal Order of Police. Let’s pause. Let’s breathe. Let’s appreciate the sheer audacity of robbing the people whose literal job is “catching people who rob.” This is not a campaign. This is a cry for help.And finally, a Maryland couple caught in the act at an Applebee’s parking lot—not in Florida, which frankly feels like a missed branding opportunity. We’re not judging the romance; we’re judging the location. Because nothing says “take me now” like the glow of a half‑priced apps sign and the faint smell of microwaved spinach artichoke dip.Join us as we break it all down with love, laughter, and the deep, abiding belief that humanity will always find new ways to disappoint—and entertain—us.Do you want to hear more Idiots of the Week?? Become a Frangela patron at Patreon.com and get three exclusive Micro Idiot podcasts each week as our thank you for your support. Now in video!Frangela swag available at https://www.zazzle.com/store/frangela! Book a personalized video shout-out from Frangela at Cameo.com/frangeladuo. https://sexyliberal.com/Cash App: $frangeladuoVenmo: @frangeladuoAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy