Cultivating Relationships with Our Children and Our Parents –a conversation with Leslie Martino

In this episode I get to talk with my friend, Leslie Martino, wife, mom to 4, speaker, author and curator of relationships. I like to say that cultivating relationships is one of Leslie’s superpowers. In what is becoming a trend, I was moved to tears multiple times in this episode. Talking with Leslie will do that to you. She is so calm, loving and warm. She is also honest and says the hard things. I absolutely loved our time together and I know you will too.  Here's some more of what we talked about: I recommended this book to Leslie when I found out she loves miniature things: The Borrowers. Get the whole series here. We recently read this book in our kid book club: learn how to start your own kid, or adult, book club here. Leslie loves trying new things, which shows her kids they don’t have to fear failure and that they are free to be a learner. Learn more about this idea here. Leslie and her husband intentionally pursued connection with their kids from the beginning, but she had a key insight early on: making mistakes as parents was their biggest motivator to pursue relationship with their kids. She realized that if she didn’t make changes she’d destroy relationship rather than foster it: “I can do just as much good as I can do damage. I can be better.” Another key insight from Leslie into cultivating relationship with our kids: “Look at your children with a lens of gratitude” rather than as people we want to shape and change. A key word stands out as Leslie describes the way her parents cultivated connection with her as a child: available. Leslie’s mother was physically and emotionally available.  Cultivating a strong relationship with parents as an adult child has a lot to do with: forgiveness. Gratitude also changes a fractured relationship Leslie reminds us to include our parents: invite them because they might be wondering “where is my place in my adult child’s life?” Everybody likes to be invited. A book that reminds us that connecting with our kids does not have to be complicated is: Hold On to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers. More ideas for creating simple connection points with your kids can be found on Leslie’s free downloadable 30 Days of Connection Calendar More tips for creating connection with your kids: connection can be body to body—hugs and squeezes. Be in their physical space—hang out in their room and talk to them. Make eye contact during a conversation. Invite kids into your space too—like cooking with your kids, telling them about the book you’re reading, sharing your prayer requests, inviting them on errands, helping them with their chores. Give them your time. Give them your attention. We need to make sure we’re seeing our kids! Leslie tells us she’s chasing joy right now by learning about neuroplasticity and engaging in activities that grow and change her brain.  Be sure to visit Leslie’s website here to find more of her work.  Follow along with her in Insta here. And don’t forget to look for her book, coming this summer!  Don’t forget to like and subscribe to this podcast, and I’d be so very grateful if you leave a review of the podcast on iTunes.  Reviews are incredibly helpful to me as a new podcaster. Thank you for listening and being part of my team.  I love you guys! Greta