When someone witnesses someone pass away, people treat it as if it's just a Oh, yeah, it's just an all the day of the job of life kind of thing, you know? It's just a thing that you must see every day. People don't see this every day enough to actually have their psychology find some kind of grounded connection to that. Hello, hello, hello, you guys.
We're gonna just dive in. I'm gonna be real awkward here in this intro without doing the usual. You know who we are if you don't get connected because we're amazing and we're awesome and welcome to the Daily Human Talk House. Hello, guys, come on in.
Yeah. Thank you, not cursed. No, just come on. Oh, no, like if people just come in, that might be weird.
We have to lock the doors, Ashley. There's a lot of these people out there. They're cool. I mean, OK, we can't go down that road.
Because my life is like, yes, the hell drears online. Now drears is a clage. Yeah, no, we're OK. We're open on the weekends, especially Sundays, kind of like the main time from 6 AM to like 2 AM Ashley's time worldwide.
So you can come on in then under the week. We're busy. OK, go ahead. Another store.
Go ahead. Another podcast. Or just check out our previous episodes. That works too.
Speaking of previous episodes. So our last one was very, very fun in the sense not going to respond to record because actually cried and that's valid and OK. But it was actually really fun for me to have that experience of talking about religious trauma. If you hadn't watched it yet, if you haven't seen it yet, heard it yet, whatever, definitely check it out because we really talk about some subjects that unfortunately don't get talked about as much.
And I know I say that quite a bit, but it's because it's true. And it was just very revolutionary. And I do want to say I'm super proud of you, Ashley, for opening up about your experience because sharing something that affects you so deeply and personally is incredibly brave. I sent her a ton of texts afterwards and while we were editing, I was like, oh, my gosh, you're amazing.
Middle finger to the sky. Everybody would judge you. But like you're amazing, Julie, and I'm so proud of you. You're so brave.
You're so strong. And yes, two thumbs up. Five stars. How did you feel about last the last few weeks and discussing this conversation?
Thank you for that question. Hello, interviewer. It was a shat casing that healing isn't the only amount of times that I've gone through religious trauma and even the I'm just really just trauma because essentially people use Christianity to justify the behaviors and to validate, you know, their choosing sort of things. So yes, really just trauma.
And no matter how many times you work through something, as I've learned many times sometimes when it hits, it hits. It's not even just that isolated incident. It's whatever relates to the feelings from that time. But personally, what got me was hearing Nina say what she said.
It was an experience of, whoa, someone acknowledging something that has never been acknowledged before. You know, I don't seek that out from other people and I don't expect it. It has never really happened, apart from my psychologist. But in general, you know, people around you, it's never been acknowledged.
And yeah, like I said, you don't expect it. And then you hear it and it's I was listening to her and I was feeling it coming to the surface and I was taken back. Adjusting to that acknowledgement was made. I could not stop once it came out.
We actually had to pause because I just kept going. It just kept flowing. And it obviously needed to. It obviously had to.
And I validate that this is not the first radio. And you learn that when you have gone through many unjustified events and things that relate to other things, you just get to a point where there's just no point in validating what you've been through because it makes perfect sense to be upset by it. You're a human being and nothing justifies mistreatment. Nothing.
So that was an experience put it that way. I'm absolutely fine. It was a new experience in some sense as well. Like I said, we're hearing what Nina said, but yeah, I'm doing well.
That's good. I'm glad that you are. And it's something that I said to Ashley before, but you know, you're absolutely valid in your own experience and what you've been through. And I think it is an active bravery to even make that distinction of like it's people.
It's not necessarily the religion of that house is on level if the moments in the history, but it's essentially the people who project that onto others and how they make them feel. It takes a lot to get to that point. It took a lot for me to get to their years of work and understanding and education. But you know, it's it really shows who you are as a person and your character and nobody has the right to invalidate your experience because it is your own.
And to anybody out there who's struggling or just maybe realize that they have some trauma within religion or about religion, it is a journey to get one step at a time. You know, it is not just often in society, but that's what we're here for. And I was I'm really grateful and glad that we were able to do that episode because it's been a long time coming. Ashley has been like, are you ready to talk about it?
I'm like, I want to gather some more details. And then eventually I was just like, you know what? I just go because the references made or the references that I made can be looked up. And then individually, I don't need to have like a whole checklist there and be like, well, ABCD, EFG, you know, this is our experience at the end of the day.
And that is true and that is valid. And that is enough. So yeah, it's really great. Gross growth, the moment gross journey.
Like we elevated another level like level 20 of life. And it's interesting because before we were discussing talking about this, Nina was like, I don't know how I'm going to feel about it because I just randomly she's been through a lot within this subject as well. Yeah. And we gave it time, which is understandable.
And then I thought to myself, yeah, no, I've got this. Like, I know what I'm going to talk about. 100% this is fine. I got this.
It's just when you try to control, it doesn't work out like that. This human experience isn't linear. So that's just another thing to take into accord with your own selves. If you feel that you can, but everything you said, when I went over, when we were doing the primos and stuff, and I was watching it, everything you said, I just, I was listening to you thinking that she's so smart and educated on something like that.
Like everything you were coming out with, I think in myself, I wish I could turn it off. You have a lot of knowledge. Okay. I can.
But it's interesting how some things just completely evaporate from about it. It's interesting how something is completely evaporate from that evaporate. It's evaporate. I'm saying, right.
In evaporate, evaporate from your mind. So when I see you speak, I thought, there's nothing more than I love. There's nothing more than I. Oh, what the fuck is happening?
That I love, then to also educate myself on the different aspects of religion, because I rather has as well. And he talks about the differences between each Bible or book, however. The actual calling of it is. And I think it's just fascinating, really diving deep and expanding your knowledge on something yourself and not listening to the projections, because you said that in the episode too, that you took it up on yourself and it helped with your healing.
I think that is such a really aware thing to do for yourself, truly. The thing is too, and I do not have to acknowledge it. I did not go into the Bible thinking I'm going to heal from it while reading it. I was like, I'm going to pick it apart and find the problems and I'm going to try and figure it out if it really is what it says it is and trying to make sense of it.
But the more I read it, I'm like, oh, that's what it was. But those people, they said that thing and it did. It's not the right Bible. And did I make up the wrong version?
What was happening before? But I'm like, oh, OK, so this is just evolved because of all the years that have passed since the last time I read it and then also it's a different version in a different context in a different time with me now having a spiritual understanding. So I'm able to actually understand what's going on and what is meant or at least in my own way. But yeah, anyway, it was it's a journey.
It's still ongoing, but just listening to you and your experience and how you phrase it as you have a lot of wisdom. Please guys, we have comments now, by the way, on Spotify. So if you guys are listening on Spotify, go back to that episode and or those two episodes and really just tell it how it is with Ash because her wisdom is amazing. OK, she needs the reminder.
It's important. It's your I call her the Oracle. It's because she is. And that's where I'll leave it be.
I'll leave my comment. I'm like, you're the Oracle. Like in the Matrix. I was like, I'm like, very mesmerizing.
Yes. You have amazing insight. That is it just goes beyond my brain, honestly, every single time. So yeah, but alas, the other side of spirituality is, of course, I'm going to get out here.
Yeah, actually, let me let me do this. Let me say like this within each transition of our lives comes, of course, the transition of our final stage. And that is the dog. Oh, my God.
So I love the opera. I love that. I hope you had your games. Oh, yeah, they will be.
I love that. I love that that was the whole thing with you. I just hear it. I'm still not over that.
Weirdest. I'm waking up and it's the fans of the opera. The next day it's hot potato by the Wiggles. It's just one extreme to the other.
I love that. That's so funny. Right? Yummy.
For salad. You've got that. No, I've never heard it. By the Wiggles.
Oh, you've got to look at the Wiggles songs. The old ones never watched the Wiggles because they freaked me out a little bit. So I was like, like, yeah, no, that's not for me. But I'm not very bad.
That's not for me. I watched it. Tell the Tabbies when I was freaked out by the Wiggles. They'd make sprups.
Tally Tabbies were on a whole different level. I don't think they spoke their own language. I remember. Yes.
Oh, geez. There was this TV show just to say this to some of you may remember. You may have heard it. It was called Equal People.
Have you ever heard of it? This name sounds familiar, yes, but I can't think of it. When that first came out, I remember my I think my little cousin was watching it. And I was thinking myself, what have they created?
What is this? It could pick up a pick of my cousin. My cousin used to watch it all the way. It could pick up a pick of my own little thing.
If you want to know that show was interesting, I'll say that very interesting. They took it from zero to 100 with the kids shows. Interesting. OK, I've never I don't think I've ever seen it, but I'll definitely check it out now.
Because that sounds fun. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I know you showed and the Wiggles as well. Actually, I know you said you're freaked out by them.
So don't check them out. I might visit it for you. I might revisit it. Oh, shouldn't we?
We'll find out in an episode how that went. Yeah, we'll do an update. We might do a whole episode on kids shows because I'm just saying there's so much to say about how it's transitioned. Yeah, you know what?
Speaking of transitions since we were talking about before, we're just going to jump back into the topic because I guarantee that I will start talking about the big, the bear in the big blue house and I'm just going to start going there. So, you know, do you want to start us off? Yes, it comes for us all. That's a lot of horror.
You'll be fine. Yes. Yeah, no, that has been an interesting topic because throughout, I mean, it's been an interesting topic throughout humanity. We have spiritual aspects to it.
We have more human-based aspects to it, physical, soulies physical aspects to it. But for a lot of people, they react differently to the topic of death. There are people who are looking forward to it. I don't know.
I'm going to say that. I felt that. I totally felt that. Directed my way.
We will explain that. Yeah. I just jump to the conclusion that, you know, something, something all good. But the time everybody deals with it differently.
And for me personally, I've had my own run-ins with death and personally and within the family and even recently, I had a few scares. So it's a topic we've wanted to discuss for a while now because it's so interesting, so fascinating, so big. And still, people talk about it, but it's more so in the sense of avoiding death, living forever. You know, the fountain of youth, that whole stigma to it.
And then now I feel like Ashley has kind of introduced me more and more to the aspect of having a different relationship to death and transition and knowing that it may be a transition from the physical, but it will never really suffer the ties that you have to the people when they transition over to the spiritual or the non-seen realm, unseen realm of life. Oh, yeah. Join us. Grab a cup of coffee or tea or whatever you like, matcha.
And let's talk about death. Let's sit down with the Grim Reaper guys. Oh my God. I love you.
I love you. I love you. Yeah. The traditional barrier wall with God.
It should have kind of, like, got a graveyard and a barrier in, like, an eco pod. Yeah. Me too. With a tree.
Yeah. Me too. Totally. You know, sometimes I really wonder are we normal?
And I'm in the sense of like, good and normal, but like, it sounds like, do you want to be buried as a tree? Oh, gosh. Happily raise my hands and say that normality is not within my bones. And it's okay with that.
This is my last time on this physical plane. So I will take that abnormality and for real, though, the sun, whatever in it, 100% take that. I don't leave for anyone else about myself, so bring it down on darling. Show me the red carpet.
I will be abnormal and I do not give a shit. Yes. So, Teth. So, Teth, what's your relationship with Deathlight, Ashley?
When have you met him? How did you like them? Is she nice? Because gender does not apply to death, right?
It's genderless, neutral. But like, how's death? How's death? How do you feel about death?
So, he knocked on the door yesterday. I open the door and stand in the mirror and it's red. Actually, I'm just going to say they were standing there and they were out and holding the floor again. I was like, hey, have you ever cleaned that floor?
It looks like I would already do it. Do you ever clean your mouth? It was a little dog's day. I let him inside.
Set down. Had a cup of tea. He wanted a coffee. Sorry.
They wanted a coffee and I was like, no. No. What do you think? He said you're having a black tea.
Okay? Because the symbolism here. So we had a chat. He said to me, are you afraid of death?
I said, no. I'm not. I'm not because I read this book and I read other books and I am engulfing myself in just the subject in general to break it down for self because the way the death has been for me has not been good, obviously. It has not been, obviously it's not good.
Actually, how do I say this in a validating way? Death doesn't have a positive correlation with it. I just want to allow my apologize. Go ahead.
Oh, question two. Is that what that was? Or you have like very particularly- How is copying you? You were like, death doesn't exactly understand if we have a positive correlation.
Understandably. We've all experienced grief. I've experienced grief. Nina has experienced grief.
And potentially even having this awareness, I will still probably grief. But it's just having the knowledge and awareness that there is more to this than just what we've always known it as. You know? And even if that wasn't the case, right?
Even if, like some people say that it's nothingness, it's oblivious. You're kind of just floating in nothingness. That's the only thing I've ever been able to explain. That's the only way I can explain it in nothingness.
And I think to myself, I get why people see that. I do because of the way, also because of the way death is perceived, but also to the religious ties to this is- Everyone has their different beliefs. We acknowledge that. But I'm intrigued if there is more.
So it's not having an attachment if there's not. But also intriguing information that- But also being intrigued that there is. There is. Like people have experienced so many different things when it comes to a hypnosis, reincarnation, spiritually.
Even people that have died and come back. Their stories as well. I live for that. I love hearing all these amazing experiences of how we change that.
Because that just sounds like I'm saying, yes, you died. It doesn't sound like that. Not at all. Just that you're amazed by these experiences that people have and how intriguing it is.
Yeah. I am amazed by the experiences that people have. Their stories that are so worth telling if you have any. Please do because I really love hearing them.
There's no- Have no melody to this. Even though I know and validate the uncomfortability, we're discussing, you know, experiences like this because the book that I'm reading, the psychiatrist in the book was talking about how he didn't discuss this with any of these other colleagues because he was afraid he actually felt fear of what they would perceive him as talking about this. But it's like, people that truly will hold space for you and will put aside judgment. They are the true people to have the conversations with.
If someone doesn't want to have a conversation about it, fine, whatever. We don't want to say it about it. But there are people out there that want to hear, would love to hear and there is no judgment. This even says is inevitable.
Let me just say that. It's inevitable. But anything and everything could happen. So that's my opinion at least.
So my experience with death is that I'm not afraid of it personally. I'm not afraid of when that time comes. And each and every time I read a new piece of information from someone else, it resonates. It brings me more into a state of, okay, fair enough, to share.
Yes, yes. My physical body though, that kind of makes me sad that it's going to stay here. And decomposed essentially, that does make that because this was the body. I think that's the one thing that kind of gets me in some sense.
But yeah, that's my very short analogy of my relationship with Mr. Deathie Mann. And he had that tea and he left like a good guest. Good.
He was over the right. He was all right. What about you, my friend? What's your tale of experience?
I will say this real quick. Yesterday, I watched a history, channel, documentary type of thing. I didn't actually complete the entire episode, but it was talking about how different people celebrate death or celebrate the body once the soul has passed on. And there are people in Peru, I believe, and in Latin America and Africa, that actually celebrate keeping the body.
And in Africa, there are, I don't know which country it was, but there is a tradition with some native tribes where they dig up the body every few years or so and they dance with it and they parade with it in terms of just like showing solidarity that we haven't forgotten you. And even though you've transitioned, we still celebrate with your body. Now, obviously, not everybody's going to want to dig up their grandma and be like, hey, grandma, let's go dance. But I think it is an incredible thing.
No, but I think it is an incredible thing to do in its own way. And in Latin America, they keep the school of the loved one that's passed on. And they put them in boxes, they decorate them, they create like art. I would depict it as they create like these artistic pieces out of these schools and they take them to, I think there's a yearly celebration that comes about where they grab the school and they celebrate and they walk down the street with it and there's like a big parade and stuff.
And it's really incredible. Like when I watched it, I'm not going to lie, it was a little bit freaked out because I was like, some of them looked a little bit too fresh, but it was just still beautiful to see how different cultures, different people around the world, treat death differently. And I think a lot in our society, we kind of ignore death, at least in the western society of it. We kind of ignore it and we want to live forever.
We don't really acknowledge it. We're afraid of aging, et cetera, et cetera. But seeing that there is variety in how to treat it and what relationships people have with it actually helps me as well with processing death. And when it comes to me personally, I have had, I would say at this point, two or three near-death experiences.
So I've come up and close and personal with the Grimery Per and it's been, the experiences in and of themselves have not been fantastic, but it has helped me get in touch with the spiritual aspect of life. Without having had those experiences, I would not be where I am today or have the understanding or open-mindedness that I have today. And I personally have had some near-death experiences in my life, two, three of them, and that helped shift my perspective and my view of death quite a bit and enabled me to be the person that I am today. That can be a bit more open-minded with a subject.
Now, personally speaking, I recently had a scare with my dog Momo and thinking she would pass away and that kind of triggered a lot within me and definitely made me recognize that I do have an issue with letting go and letting things pass or move on or what's the word transition. But with me personally, I think I have more fear of not living my life fully rather than death itself because I've had, like I said, near-death experiences, I've experienced really interesting things after the fact and during the near-death experiences where I'm like, okay, we are not alone here. And I know that there are people who, a few us as just bodies, there are people who don't think we have souls or anything like that. And I don't share in that opinion simply because I've seen an experience too much stuff in my own life to negate that.
But when I was, let's just say, on my deathbed a few years ago, I definitely felt the presence of death in the room and that there was more to life than just the physical aspects in which we see. Now, obviously, there's a lot of discussions going on within the more signsy aspect of things where it's like, well, it's just your brain firing off neurons and it's not really happening and it's just like a mirage. I think everybody will have different opinions on this, but I think for me personally, and the relationship that I'm trying not to curate with death is that everything comes and goes and it's all belonging to the same thing and we will never be apart. We will never be separate from each other even when we go from one portal to the next, let's say one reality to the next, one plane of existence to the next.
And a big, big, big case in my life was when my grandmother passed away. I was 13 years old or 12, 12 or 13, somewhere around there I was in America and I had a night where I went to bed and all of a sudden I just bought a firm really, really strongly. And I couldn't place my finger on it. I was just like, why am I thinking of her?
Like all of a sudden just randomly she just came to my head. I remember looking up at the sky, I had my window open at the time. There was like a lake in front of my window where we lived and I looked up and it was nighttime and I looked up at the sky and the darkness and seeing the light of the lake and the little ducks floating around and I just remember sending her like mentally this message of, I love you. I care about you and I miss you.
And then that morning I woke up to my mother telling me that my grandmother had passed away. And obviously that was a moment in my life or that day in particular where I was very upset. I was very sad and it really affected me because my grandmother and I were very close. We were like, I called her mom, like mom number two.
So we were very connected. But later on that day after all the crying had been done and I kind of returned to my room from the living room at some point, I sat down in my bed and I hope I don't get emotional saying this or telling the story. But I remember sitting down and I just had this moment of being, what I can describe is like being wrapped in a blanket from behind somebody wrapping you with a blanket. It was so warm and it was filled with so much love.
I was just showered with it at an instant. And to the point where I'm like sitting there, I'm like, what is going on right now? Like this is not coming from me. This is happening to me.
And I just knew immediately that it was my grandmother saying goodbye. And I've never had an experience since then that was like that. But I had felt so much love that I'd never felt in my entire life up until this point. It was like pure, pure love.
And it helped me kind of reframe my mindset about what's going on after life. You know? And once we pass away, once we move on to the next plane. Because if that's how I felt in that moment when I was showered with just this pure love that I can't describe it with words, it's just something that you can feel.
In my mind, personally, it does not have to reflect on other people. But in my mind, that then is what I returned to. It's that state of love, that energy of love, that frequency of it. And it was just, it was a magical experience.
I was a little bit excited at the time because I just discovered ghost hunters and what ghosts are and that those are real. And yes, I believe in ghosts because I have been haunted before. That's a different story though. But there was a little bit exciting because I was like, maybe I can communicate with my grandma.
And so I took ideas that I found from these ghost shows and I was like, maybe I should write her a letter. And I was like, are you here with us? And I like let it sit there in my bedroom. Obviously, nothing came through.
Nobody wrote on the notepad anymore outside of my own writing on it. But it was a beautiful moment in my life. And I've had near death experiences when I was younger than that. I've had near death experiences a few years ago, so much older than that time frame in which my grandmother passed away.
But every single time I'm overwhelmed by a lot of things happening. And it is definitely we're not alone. There are definitely people, entities, I would rather say that help us transition and then also that protect us and that are with us and that are watching over us. But yeah.
Yes, you said before I am to say let Nina know that I'm here. Yes. Why don't you tell that story, Ash? That was so fascinating.
Yeah, I've had a few experiences. So I think I can say one, sometimes I get up at three, four, two in the morning. I felt a hand on my arm before and that story I'll tell in a minute. But one particular night, I wasn't fully awake, but I was enough to hear this.
It was around four in the morning. And don't ask me how I know. I just knew I had gotten up, I guess, in some sense, like part of me was awake. The other part of me was still asleep.
And from the corner of my room on the side here, I hear this is Nina's grandfather. But I think that's all he just said was this is Nina's grandfather. And then I just went back to sleep fully asleep. So I was like, I woke up to hear that and then I went to sleep.
I met you, Janina in the morning. I said, um, you know, have you felt a male presence around you of late? She goes, no, that's well, your grandfather decided to come visit. He decided to stop by.
He just wanted to let you know that this is Nina's grandfather. Yeah, it's amazing because. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Okay. It's amazing because it was a day or two after his anniversary when he passed and it was just insane because I had thought a lot about my grandmother and stuff. And she's somebody that I would say I'm more emotionally connected to. But sometimes I think about my grandfather and I'm like, I don't really get him, like, vibrationally, like I don't really sense him.
I don't really think about him too often because he passed away when I was very young. So I don't really remember much of him, unfortunately. But when she had texted me that I'm like, a male, like energy, like what? No, I'm like, should I be scared?
And then she's like, no, your grandpa stopped by and I'm like, wait, what? That's insane. And then I checked the date, like I said, and it was literally a day or two after his passing his memorial, his anniversary. And so insane.
And that's what I mean with Ashley's the workable. She's incredibly connected. Also the thing she said to me over the past week is I've been kind of navigating grief, which I'll get into a little bit later as well, but just so in touch and exactly what I needed to hear. So thank you for that as well, Ash.
Welcome, my friend. It is difficult as many of you know to give guidance because you just don't know. Not one part of me wants to invalidate or put something aside, just to give guidance, just to make it better. That's never the case.
Death is a very, very complex subject. It is. It's very complex. I think a lot of people, it's too difficult to even expand on the unlimited.
It's too difficult to expand on the unlimited possibilities of it. And there are many different stories out there when it comes to it. But the experiences of spirits in my room at certain times. Yes, seems to be my room seems to be the party.
And it's yeah, seems to be the party. There are nights where I literally say to myself beforehand, nothing and no one is to enter into this space. I am sleeping because sometimes I just get to the point where it's like, no, this is sleep time. And sometimes it freaks me out.
Yeah. Some moments have freaked me out. Definitely, especially when it's all first started. Oh, the store is I could share with you all.
I would save that for another episode because my day was fascinating. When you first connect, it's almost like you open the doors and all like, yes, finally we've been waiting. We will be waiting. Oh, you're a grandfather must be waiting there as well.
Like, yes, I can finally tell you that I am here. Someone that I will hear me. Like, yeah, but you know, can't you do it during like the, can't you do it during the morning hours or the afternoon hours? Why is it always at night during the AM?
That's my question. I know what people are going to say. I know, but doesn't mean I accept it. Review it a little bit.
Yeah, it was a fascinating experience. Definitely. When you were talking about how different cultures, how they treat death, I have definitely seen what you're talking about on YouTube, I believe it was. And it, again, just fascinated me.
Fascinated. I wasn't freaked out. I wasn't. I didn't think, oh, that's such an, oh, I didn't think anything other than, other than, oh my gosh, this is mesmerizing to me.
How different cultures treat death and to, I've never heard of this before. Because obviously, what I've grown up with is the, what people know in saying goodbye to all of that. It's the same sort of goodbye. It's, you know, it's either cremation or it's burial and that's it.
Sometimes you might visit the grave, but essentially, yeah, it's not, in my family, per se, it's not the thing, really, to visit the grave much afterwards. It's just the process happens. You say goodbye and then you remember them, I guess, mostly through photos and stuff. So diving deep into what's out there in the world.
Oh, I just, I just, yeah, I really do respect and have so much openness to the many different ways, especially, I was the first thing that I came, yeah, no, it was. The first thing that I came in contact with was the day of the dead. The day of the dead. Yes.
I think it's called something else. The web day, I think. I think so. And um, oh, she was it again.
It's not flickering in my brain. It's, um, isn't it Mexican? Yeah, I believe so. Yeah, I believe so.
Yes. My brain just went through a mouth function. But the day of the dead, absolutely, the alphenders, the entire respect of those loved ones that have passed on and how people celebrate their life and they continually do that on a specific day. And I just, yeah, I was truly fascinated by that celebration, going to the cemetery and especially the movie, um, Coco is it Coco?
Mm hmm. Yeah, my mind is malfunctioning. I love that movie. I think that movie, I really love that movie.
I love it so much. It made me just cry like tears of just, it's just so beautiful. I love the whole being. I really do it like the whole experience.
And I thought to myself, I actually think this is a really lovely way to honor loved ones who have passed on. Yeah. I think it's a really beautiful celebration of their life. To go to the cemetery and light up candles and it's just so, yeah.
I truly do have a lot of respect for that. Um, having your own offender, I think it's just a beautiful thing too, to have, technically, in some way, without I guess the tradition, we also do have that. But we put, like we at our home, we have the memorial books. Mm hmm.
Um, we don't, we have some photos of those that pass, especially in the lounge room, but we might only keep up the memorial books. I don't know why. I really don't, but it's just, I guess it's just something that's always been done, maybe, so I guess it's kind of like an affront that we doubt the party. And the, yeah, the party sense of it, yeah.
Um, yeah. It's interesting. You just reminded me of that too. Like I think it is, and I don't know if it's in all Asian cultures, but I am familiar with Korean tradition when to honor your ancestors.
You know, you make an altar in front of them. You put food out for them and their spirits are supposed to have that day to eat. I believe it is a chuzo, which is their Thanksgiving, Korean, Korea's Thanksgiving, and where you honor your ancestors and your elders in that way. And I think it's just, it's really interesting, isn't it?
How so many different cultures treat the past or the ones that have passed on? It's just, it's so interesting. And I think it's so wild to think that in, I would say in German culture, in American culture that I've personally encountered and seen and been a part of, it's like, okay, you are gone. That's it.
You can keep photos and that's what it is. They're not here anymore. But there is a spiritual aspect to life as we've discussed many times. And you know, you can be the more scientific beliefs, and that's fine as well.
But I do believe that there's something past this main of existence outside of just physical bodies. And that's it. Yeah. Even telling the reason I started reading, I've had this book in my little bookshelf in my room for so long, when I was recommended, actually, I'm exaggerating.
It's not been that long, but it feels like it's been long. You know when you buy a book and you leave it on the shelf? And it gathers the task. Yeah, it feels like it's been that.
But I was recommended his book. And because I have been really struggling, I have been struggling for a long time, validating my existence on this planet really beyond struggling, to be honest. And I personally didn't see the need or the point of existing. And I just couldn't shake the belief system within that.
Nothing was worthwhile. You know, this, this, this, education for life and the way that people advocate for it to me, I'm like, what are you trying to sell? Are you trying to sell hell? Hell, ain't it down there?
It's up here. Literally, it just sounded like nothing meaningless to me, all of it, including other things that were going on. But that's for another story of it. Obviously this year has been transitioning through a lot of things and also trying to find not just purpose, but why I'm here, essentially, you know, one of the reasons.
And what can I do while I'm here until I reach an elder age and never come back? That was the joke that Nina was making, too. I definitely, just to say this now, I've definitely told Nina so many times that I'm not coming back to this planet. Yeah.
When I depart, when I depart, I will be a spirit helping other people. And if you're spiritual and you've studied all of this and you have your awareness and you know what I'm talking about, I will be a spirit helping other people, but I will not be a human back on this planet. No way. So that's the joke that she was making is that I'm okay when that time comes.
I will actually be laying there like, take me down. Take me. I'm ready. I'm ready.
I'm ready to move. I will always be my little inside joke. Surely I have that joke with a lot of people. They talk like, are you afraid of death?
What's happening there? Yes, I just bought what's that? What's it called? What's it called?
Oh, tell you. It's called Many Lives, Many Masters by Dr. Brian Weis, or Wes. I don't know how to say he's home and I apologize to him.
So yeah, this is this book, The True Story of a Prominent Psychiatrist, his young patient, and the past life therapy that changed both of their lives. This was actually quite difficult to find now, just say. I found on Amazon, which you think actually that doesn't sound too hard because Amazon is widely known and used. I was trying to look outside of Amazon, you know, I was trying to look at Booktopia or other places from just Amazon, but even in other bookstores, even bookstores that we have, nope, it wasn't even there.
He's more than one book. He's got four books and couldn't find them. I'm like, they're trying to stop me from finding out why I'm reading it. I've just started reading it.
It's been sitting up there for a while. For some reason, I just took it out one day and I just thought, you've been on my mind. There is a reason you've been on my mind. I'm going to read you.
Set outside, started reading and I was like, okay, I just started. I was like, all right, here we go. Someone is getting hypnotized past life is coming in. Here we go.
And then it just kept getting fascinating and more fascinating. And in the book, they actually referenced death. I should actually reference this first with this book too, so you know what I'm talking about. But basically a psychiatrist who was very much within science belief, not spiritual, just science-based theories.
Patient came to see him named Catherine and she was going through very high levels of anxiety, stress, just not coping on day to day life. So he decided to do hypnosis on her, hypnosis therapy. And from there, it's just an unfolding of him realizing that just completely challenging his belief systems, because he's seeing in front of him something that he can't even explain. He had to do research on it.
So it completely changed his life. And each session that he had with her, she was talking, she has, I think she's had 87 lives on this planet. Oh, girl, you deserve a little one. You deserve to be acknowledged with a statue.
If you've been here that many times, you deserve something. Truly, human evolution is on YouTube. And when you watch it, when I watch it, if any of you have done hypnosis and you've been alive during those times, you 100% deserve your name to be in the sky, in my opinion. Because my damn, her past lives were absolutely traumatic.
Literally, they went through a few of them. I haven't finished reading the book yet. I'm about, I'm almost there. I'm almost at the end.
But from the ones that she has shared so far, that he's tapped into, she was a slave in some of her past lives. She was a maid. She was very poor. She even went to war in one of her past lives.
All I keep reading was, did she ever get a break in one of her lives? This damn damn damn. I just, I couldn't believe it. I wonder why she's dealing with the fear of, she even got in one of her past lives, she passed by someone choking her.
So in her life now, she had a fear of choking and a fear of drowning. Because in one of her past lives, she experienced, she died by drowning. So it's amazing as I was reading it. Hearing, not hearing.
It was mesmerizing for me reading it. Not just her changes and healing, but also him as well, the psychiatrist, in realizing whoa, and he was really, I've gone through this as well. He was really going back and forth. I know this can't be true.
This can't be happening right now. This, this, this is not a thing. No way. He was really going through the wringer, trying to validate another existence that he has never acknowledged before, didn't believe in really.
So it really hit his psyche. And I truly relate to that. Sometimes I still go back and forth with spirituality because I've eaten now. I definitely still have my moments.
It's a part of my astrology chart that apparently that's part of my personality. So I'm happily integrated, but then I have my moments where I'm going back and forth. I'm like, mmm, I don't know about these. So yeah, so just a quick analogy on the book, as quick as I possibly can.
If you want to read it, please do read it. Truly it helped me understand that one death isn't the end. It's not oblivion, as people say. I wasn't worried about that personally anyway, but it helped me understand that number one, I have a choice, which was invigorating, knowing that I don't have to come back here.
Oh, I was excited. You know, the voice message, I was thrilled. Was I over the mirror? Yeah, you were so excited.
I was like, she found the cheap code, guys. Where do I sign? The idea is, and when I was reading that, because just a preference is as well, essentially through her, she's very psychic. And through doing hypnosis, she taps into it quite deeply to it really opened up a floodgate for her.
So through her, they in the book, they call them the master's highest spiritual beings, I'm going to say. They started talking to him through her and we're telling him, this is also an experience mostly for you, as well as it's part of her healing. This is also for you to help people heal their past lives in this life, to do what they basically to be a part of the healing collective, really. And they were talking about death and they were talking about how society holds on to such a, he, I get it.
I get it. Yeah, if I've ever heard of what you're purchasing it's on. No, I believed it. Concern the fear of death, which is the fear deep within the volcano.
The fear of death that hidden constant fear, that no amount of money or power can neutralize. This is the core. But if people knew that life is endless, so we never die, we were never really born, then this fear would dissolve. If they knew that they had lived countless times before, and would live countless times after, unless you just say otherwise, I'll reassure they would feel.
If they knew that spirits were around to help them while they were in physical state, and that after death, in spiritual state, they would join the spirits, including their deceased loved ones, how comforted they would be. If they knew that guardian angels really did exist, how much safer would they feel? If they knew that acts of violence and injustice against people did not go unnoted, but had to be repaid in kind in other lifetimes, how much less anger and desire for vengeance they would harbor. And there's a lot more down here too.
To be greedy or power hungry has no value whatsoever. That part there, I mean, it definitely intrigued me in a certain sense of, okay, well, I definitely think that something like this can give some people the validation that something that you think is the end, the possibility of more. It's truly there and the experience is not just in this book, but out there are the proof of that. For me, I just found it fascinating.
I, again, I don't really need it to round anything really, because that means I don't have to mince beer of death, but I think this provides something for those that need to, because the fear of death, I'm not going to invalidate how it felt, even watching my own Nan pass away. I'm not going to invalidate that even though I might resonate to this, and I might believe what I believe that, like I said, it's not linear. Like many things, it's not linear to experience witnessing death, to even have a story to tell what you've experienced it yourself. It's terrifying for many people as well as coming out and saying, I survived death, and this is my story.
On the other side, it's still terrifying. I will say when it comes to my Nan's death, the one thing I definitely want to advocate for, since humanity seems to forget about the human experience more times than I like to count on my fingers, we're seeing something like, we're seeing something like your loved one transitioning, in my words, we've not seen that before, or you have, but it shows up in a different way, because apparently when people pass away, it can be different to the next person. Like there's something called a death rattle. Have you heard of that?
The death rattle? Yeah. There's different stories out there of how people have witnessed their loved ones pass on, that deserve validation, because like many things, when someone witnesses someone pass away, people treat it as if it's just an all day on the job of life kind of thing, you know? It's just a thing that you must see every day.
People don't see this every day enough to actually have their psychology, find some kind of grounded connection to that. When I witnessed my Nan pass away, that was my first time witnessing it like that. You know, essentially, I was standing in front of her bed, and she was really struggling to breathe. She was kind of like, you know, it was literally that movement, and then all of a sudden, because the ambulance was there and they had a heart monitor attached, and the number is just dropping.
So your psychology is making sense of witnessing that, and then the heart monitor, you can hear in the background, and you're watching it drop, drop, drop, and you're watching her change in front of my eyes. Because essentially, at one given point, I looked at the heart monitor, and I looked at her, and her eyes are gone, black, basically, and then all of a sudden, she just went, and then that was it. She passed, and that exact moment. And for me, when I got home, I had to just sit there and process that myself, witnessing that.
I thought, this is just, it's another part of the human experience, but I've got to validate how, how am I going to process this? How do you need, what do I need to do for myself, to validate what may come up from that? But I hear, I've always heard always when it comes to death and grief, how people go about it, everyone is entitled to it, but the invalidation of it is such a widespread, it's such a common denominator, the invalidation of grief. It just depends how you're going to absorb seeing that.
No matter if it's your first time or your second time, I said at the start, talking about the religious episode, that something that I've worked through quite a few times with my psychologist, that I've journaled and shadowworked, in the moment talking about it, it came up, many other things came up. The experience isn't linear, as I will say, a million times, if I have to, to validate that you just don't know for starters how you're going to process something like that, and you don't know how other people are going to process something like that. Even if I were fine, the first time witnessing it, the second time could be different. Because again, catering to the reality that people pass differently, whether it's the experience that I witnessed with my dad, or the experience that other people have had with the death right or other things as well, but I can't remember the name of them, but there's so many different experiences with death.
None of it deserves to be invalidated. It deserves to be acknowledged, and we deserve to have empathy and compassion for each other in what is a process, and it's a consistent process, right? We, as we age, death will continue to happen. It will continue, and it can be different with each individual, and that will be a new process from that person to the other to the other.
The feelings, like when it's my parents, it will be different, because there's a different connection there. You know, there are so many, I'm going to get it on a merch teacher. There are so many layers to this. There are so many layers to grief, and there's so many layers to death.
All of it deserves validation. So just keep that in mind. It's easy for someone to say, you know, this is a part of the reality, this is what it is, you'll be fine, just deal with it. Get over it.
It's easier to say that. Which actually isn't easier to say that, because the repercussion of being invalidating is that people don't forget that you were invalidating. You're so right. Yeah.
And something that I heard a little while ago was actually from a TV show I've been getting into recently, and that was grief is your mind trying to understand something that cannot be explained. You know, the sadness, the anger, the frustration, the scariness of it all, it brings up so many different things within people, and you know, even your own, for me personally, and if I may share, this last week I had a little bit of a scare with my dog and a vet diagnosing her with cancer, and it was not cancer. So there was like a whole brief week where a brief I would not say like forever long week where I was just suffering, I was going through it and I was just like, no, like there was the whole process of like denial and anger and it cannot be. And you know, once I started kind of reaching acceptance, I was like, oh no, she's fine.
That was like the whole thing from the university. I was like, really, really? But it brought up something that I didn't really think of as much like I think of it abstractly, but never really as personal as I did during that time. And that is eventually I will go to, and I said this to Ashley then, and I'll say it now, I was in my backyard and I was looking at the trees, I'm like, it's kind of insane, depending on what species you are on this planet, you can experience so much death and regrowth and renewal, you know, trees I'd live as most of the time, they see us die, not with eyes obviously, but trees witness us die and come and go.
We witness our pets come and go because usually they have a shorter lifespan than us, depending on what animal is. We see the circle of life with our family members as well, and it's a whole process and it's circular, it's circular, and it is really interesting, but it really confronted me with my own death because I was like, eventually that's going to be me and I never know when that's going to be, you know, I can live until a thousand, where I can live until tomorrow, we never know when the final day will be. And that's for me in that particular moment, and something that I'm still going to be working on and working through, rather than fearing my own death, like I said, it's more so of like not having lived the life that I wanted to live. But on the other aspect of witnessing somebody else's death, I haven't had that as much.
When my grandmother passed away, I was in a different country, I was in the States. When my father passed away from cancer, I was in the country, I was in Germany, but there were a lot of things going on where I did not witness his death like Ashley did, and I was not able to go to the funeral due to certain reasons coming up and due to my own sickness at the time, but witnessing MoMo being in that position, it was like confronting me with walking somebody to the edge of life, walking somebody to the river of life and being like, okay, you get to decide when you go and becoming okay with that. And oh gosh, I'm getting emotional now, just thinking about it, because it's an honor to do that. But it was something that I really struggled with because it's like, I don't want to let go.
You got to be proud of me. That's what we all are with certain people or pets that we have. We don't want to let go. We love them so much.
But I realized and Ashley made me aware of this and Jay, our editor as well, where it's like, you can love something and not own it. And it's made a lesson that I've been learning as well, where it's like, you have to border the fear and know how much energy you're even projecting onto her. And then also understand that my mom was telling me this, this is out of your control. You have to let go.
You have to just let the process be what it is. You can't fear it, because I'm fearing that you're rejecting something within the experience that you're witnessing. And it's like, yeah, but no. I don't want to let go.