This is opening day. You already fucked it up. How'd I fuck it up? This is the daily update for Monday, March 31st.
You had to start like that? Yes! Hold it. Opening day.
This is the daily update for March 31st. Opening day. Cubs are going to win today. Ready to rock out, Mike?
Rock. That's right, opening day baseball. Being enjoyed with Mr. Stone and Ms.
Sullivan. Eating some ribs, maybe, if they ever get finished cooking and it stops raining outside. And the Cubs are gaming, which is now on rain delay. Hopefully we'll get started again and watch the Cardinals, and they were...
Cardinals will be introduced to some pretty gay music. Was that gay music, Mike? You guys can't say gay. Was that gay music, Mike?
Gay is correct, but you can't say gay. Anyways, put this down here. So we're all podcasting all together. We'll put it down here in the middle, hopefully.
Aw, no good. I thought I hit stop. So we did have some really good news today. Kyle and Laura are having a baby girl.
Woo! More girls in the world. Oh, boy. Uh, Ava.
Ava, I don't know her middle name, actually. Ava Grace. Ava Grace Essex. No.
That'd be Eva. This is Ava. Believe me, I was already corrected once. A-V-A, not E-V-A.
Ava Grace Essex. It's not Ava? No. Like Maria?
Like Ava. Like Ava Gold. That's not even Catholic. No.
There's a song, a Catholic song, Ava Father. Ava Father. You wouldn't know that because you're an atheist. Right.
You wouldn't bother. Because I read, because I read that book. Yeah, because you read the Golden Compass. Golden Compass.
Complete circle. If you haven't figured it out, Mr. Stone. Hello.
Oh, we already did this, didn't I? I said you guys were here. They're all contributing today. Let's be redundant.
I'll be redundant. I'll be retarculous. Retarculous. We watched some rest of the film when I got home from school early because the game was on rain delay.
Mike Stone fell asleep. I was sleeping. I've been up since. I've been drinking since.
Everything. Long time. Long time. We love you long time.
Every time Mike comes up here and he falls asleep, he's like, I've been drinking for a while. Something tells me all Mike does at home is drink. It's true. But, except for I don't.
But whatever. We ran to Best Buy, spent some reward zone bucks on some CDs. And to pass the time we got home. Cubs were on.
Zambrano's looking pretty good. Kuzguy. He had a double his first at bat. I love that.
Another rain delay. After Zambrano struck out. So, the riot's going to be up once they get back from rain delay. So, we're just kind of hanging out.
Oh yeah, Eli had a question for me. I told her to wait and pose that question to me. Wait, wait, don't tell me. Pose that question to me after we start the update.
So, Eli, go ahead and pose the question again. I wanted to know, what's your favorite photo taken by someone you know? Whether you took it or someone else took it. And my response is, that's the stupidest fucking question I've ever heard.
Really? You can't ask fucking questions. You only have a favorite picture? Yeah, I do.
A favorite picture. Of like... That's just a stupid question. There's just one.
Okay, let me quantify it. Favorite picture you're in. I'd have to say my wedding picture up there, honestly. Because I look at that every once in a while and just think about all the friends and family that are actually in that picture.
And how many people are like... How many cool people are in that picture. So, is it about the memory that's attached to the photo or is it about that picture itself? That is the second stupidest fucking question I've ever heard.
It's just that you can't fucking answer it because you're holding it. No, I have to say, not because I'm in it. It's because of all the... everyone else that's in it.
And the memory of the day, not so much. Because I don't think that picture encapsulates... Encapsulates? Encapsulates?
That's what I just said, and you said my else's. What's the word, Eli? Encapsulates. That's what I said!
Not really. I don't think that picture encapsulates... That's better. The wedding itself.
But there's a lot of people in that picture. Yeah, see, now you're thinking about it. You know, you know if you said it right or wrong. But that picture has got, you know, a lot of people in it.
Of course, there's a lot of people in there that are just a lot of people that are not in there. Well, yeah. But I'm saying, I don't think... Maybe the only other picture would be the Quincy picture from the wedding.
Where, you know, all the Quincy people. Where there's, like, that many people in one picture that have been influential in my life that, you know, that I'm glad have been influential in my life. What's your answer? Some naked picture of Sylvester Stallone or something?
High five! High five! I can't believe you said Sylvester Stallone. It's your dad.
Make a picture of her dad? That's disgusting. I haven't actually thought about it. So he has a question you can't even answer yourself?
Uh, yeah. I think the intent was... Can I break this bottle on my head? There's a photo that's missing.
From where? Your refrigerator. Of you and me? Yeah, I wasn't responsible for taking that down.
I know you're not. And Cindy doesn't listen to the podcast, so... Well. So, you know what's gonna happen?
Tell me. Her sister Amy's gonna call her and be like, Cindy, they talked about you on the podcast. You gotta listen. Amy, this is Mike Stone, speaking to you directly.
Don't open your mouth to Cindy about this. No, those pictures got cycled out. Honestly, Mike, you're a very important person in my life, but, however, Hannah's more important now. You know what?
And I think that's the picture that replaced you, was the picture of Hannah. Incorrect. What picture replaced you? Uh, one of Cal's.
Oh, of Jeff and Amy holding Hannah. Right. Hannah's still in the picture. And you know what I'll do?
I'll move that picture to my office next year. Holla. Yeah, some of the kids I have my email open. And you remember those two fourths that he sent me?
Yeah, right there in the subject line. Mr. Essex, what's this? What's suck it mean?
What's suck it mean on Wednesday? I like sucking off. Shut up, Taylor. You can't say that, Taylor.
Get off my computer. No, I didn't mean get off on my computer. He's gonna go, how am I gonna get to go into that messy old clack trap? Oh, AD.
I'm talking about the log cabin. Oh, AD. I didn't know we had a log cabin. Beep.
So, uh, so yeah, today's been fun. Kind of uneventful, just for the simple fact that none of us have... Well, I wouldn't go to jail anymore, but Mike hasn't done anything to go to jail yet. Talk to Nino today.
We were like yelling across Best Buy about something. There was nobody in there. Yeah, that doesn't mean you can just yell. That old lady that was getting helped by the Best Bipers.
By the way, where WTF are the HD DVDs in Best Buy now? Blu-ray has overtaken the HD DVD section. I couldn't even find them on clearance anywhere. I'm gonna buy some cartoons for Hannah on HD.
I want them. No one wants them. You don't know what HD means. I totally do.
Fuck you. You should know. Cindy says you cuss too much on this. I cuss too much on this.
Well, that's what she's gonna say now. I thought Cindy didn't listen to this. You said like 15 words and six of them did F-bombs. Well, you're pissing me off.
Mission accomplished. Just like the Iraq War. You know what? I shouldn't have said that.
I don't think it's called a war yet. I think it's a... I think it's a... What is it called?
Operation Iraqi Freedom or something like that? Operation Raise Taxes? You know what? I think you're just going to get back.
So what do I care? Yeah, you don't pay taxes. Yeah, why do I... You know what?
You know what? Forget what you just said. We shouldn't talk about what you just said. We shouldn't talk about what Mike doesn't do.
Moving on. So, uh, we did send an update out on Friday because I didn't get any letters to the editor. And Mike did send me a couple letters, but I was gonna go into Suck Me Off Wednesday and F Your Mama Edition while at school. But every once in a while I may read some clips from that.
And there is, in the works, a Sundays with Stone coming out. Mike's been hyping this for quite a while within the inner circle of the editors. This is true. I don't think, uh...
He says it's gonna be awesome, but I'll tell you what, unless it's got naked pictures of Lindsay Lohan attached to it, I don't think it's gonna be as good as he says. I can send links to that, yeah. Spoiler? I can call her, actually.
The whole Marilyn Monroe business. You can't call her. Those are hot. You're