Dañando la Raza: The Wounds Colorism Leaves Behind

Colorism often begins shaping identity well before we understand the words to describe it. It appears through small comments about skin tone, hair texture, or which parent a child resembles. These moments can seem harmless on the surface, but for many people they quietly form the lens through which we begin to see ourselves.In this episode of Born Tired: Where Survival Meets Healing, I reflect on the ways colorism shapes identity within families, cultures, and communities. The way beauty standards rooted in colonial history continue to echo through everyday conversations about appearance, belonging, and worth.For many of us raised in cultures across Latin America and the Caribbean, ideas about beauty were never neutral. They were shaped by centuries of colonial influence that elevated European features while diminishing African and Indigenous ancestry. Even when families love each other deeply, those beliefs can still surface in subtle ways — through jokes, comparisons, and passing comments that children quietly absorb while learning how the world sees them.In this episode, I share personal reflections from growing up in a Dominican family where conversations about appearance carried meanings far deeper than I understood at the time. Phrases like “pelo bueno” — good hair — and “mejorar la raza” — improve the race — were part of everyday language, even when no one paused to examine the history behind them.I reflect on how those beliefs shaped the way I saw myself as a child and how colorism can create complicated experiences within the same system. It can produce wounds for those pushed toward the margins, while also creating blind spots for those who benefit from proximity to the beauty standards colonialism established.This episode also explores the deeper historical roots of colorism across Latin America and the Caribbean. How colonial systems created racial hierarchies that rewarded proximity to whiteness and pushed other identities toward the margins. And how those beliefs continued to travel quietly through families long after colonial rule ended.But this conversation is also about something else.Perspective.Because when we begin to recognize the systems that shaped our earliest beliefs about beauty and identity, something shifts. We begin to separate who we are from what we were taught to believe about ourselves.I also reflect on how becoming a mother reshaped my understanding of these ideas. Raising four children with different skin tones, hair textures, and features has deepened my commitment to breaking cycles that many of us inherited without realizing it.I want my children to grow up loving their reflections. Without comparison. Without apology. Without believing their worth must be measured against proximity to whiteness.Healing often begins with awareness. With recognizing the beliefs we inherited and deciding which ones we will continue carrying forward.This episode is about reclaiming identity from standards that were never meant to define us. It’s about understanding the systems that shaped our earliest perceptions of beauty. And it’s about remembering that our features, our culture, and our history were never something that needed to be corrected.They were always something that deserved to be honored.You don’t need to fix yourself to be here. You don’t need the right words.You just need to arrive as you are. Your voice matters.Your story matters.And you are not alone.Gentle Reminder:This podcast includes conversations about trauma, family dynamics, mental health, estrangement, eating disorders, and lived experiences. Listener discretion is advised.🤍 Support the podcast:Buy Me a Coffee — https://buymeacoffee.com/mzd5yc89kkk📌 Follow me:Instagram: @borntiredpodcastThreads: @borntiredpodcastSubstack: https://substack.com/@borntiredpodcastCredits:Written & narrated by Eirene TorresAudio production by Carlos TorresOriginal music by Carlos TorresDisclaimer:Born Tired is a personal storytelling podcast based on lived experience. This content is not a substitute for professional mental health care and does not provide medical or clinical advice. If you are struggling or in crisis, please consider reaching out to a qualified mental health professional or local support services.