Darkness: Don't Leave Until You Bless Me | Kiki Newman

A deeply personal and Torah-rich conversation on facing darkness from within. Kiki opens up about her own journey with anxiety and depression, sharing how she moved from resenting the darkness she experienced to believing in its inherent blessing. Drawing on biblical stories, Kiki weaves profound insight with raw personal honesty. She explores what it practically means to face darkness, professional help as a prerequisite to faith-based tools and the belief that our inner light is inextinguishable, no matter what darkness we are facing.Kiki is a Chabad Shlucha for a community in Israel, teaches weekly Chassidus and Kabbalah classes in person and online. She is a bridal educator and mikvah attendant, and is passionate about learning and teaching chassidus. Find her classes on Youtube:https://www.youtube.com/@kabbalahwithkikiFind her classes on Spotify:https://open.spotify.com/show/6uscGnRqwgd2j8qwkk542M?si=FIxIy73QQNWw7qVSbDYRUgEmail her at [email protected] and find her on instagram at @kabbalahwithkiki. * * * * * * *Join our new virtual Tanya class! We will be hosting a live, three part series on the divine soul, through Chapter 2 of the Tanya, a space to explore the text through shared study, poetry, curated illustrations, songs, and guided reflection. Link to join us here: https://humanandholy.mykajabi.com/tanyaclass* * * * * * *To inquire about sponsorship & advertising opportunities, please email us at [email protected] support our work, visit humanandholy.com/sponsor.Find us on Instagram @humanandholy & subscribe to our channel to stay up to date on all our upcoming conversations ✨Human & Holy podcast is available on all podcast streaming platforms. New episodes every Sunday & Wednesday on YouTube, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and Google Podcasts.* * * * * * *Timestamps:00:00 — Introduction01:43 — Today's topic: Torah wisdom on facing inner and outer darkness02:14 — Why this is personal: Kiki's journey with anxiety and depression03:30 — Showing up to teach even on the hardest days05:14 — Biblical context: Abraham, Yaakov, and descending into Egypt06:00 — The Kabbalistic purpose of exile:07:38 — Descent before ascent08:20 — Yaakov wrestling with the angel10:00 — What blessing is this bringing me?11:15 — The blessing is not external 13:13 — Practically speaking: what does facing darkness actually look like?15:00 — The Hillel model: lighting one candle when the darkness feels overwhelming16:50 — Going outward as a tool: moving out of yourself to find light18:35 — The fear of being swallowed by darkness20:30 — Balancing inward processing and outward giving23:10 — Designating time for pain25:00 — When mental health requires medical treatment first26:24 — Yosef vs. his brothers: two worldviews on how to live in a dark world28:30 — The brothers' approach: protect holiness by withdrawing from the world29:30 — Yosef's approach: engage with darkness and elevate it30:45 — Galus as a dream: the power of opposites coexisting35:00 — Two kinds of dreams: exile's confusion vs. Yosef's redemptive vision40:50 — What happened to our dreams? 43:00 — Changing "if only" to "only because"46:00 — Two approaches to supporting people in their darkness48:00 — Yaakov's model: sometimes when you're in the pit can't climb out alone50:00 — Yosef's model: the power of presence52:30 — Just sitting with someone is enough54:30 — Kiki's personal postpartum depression56:30 — The inextinguishable light58:30 — How to support someone in darkness59:26 — Soul-to-soul closing message