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Hey, let's do that thing really quick where we finish the sentence, we do one word at a time. No, no, like we do one word at a time. I'll start, ready? We, no, ready, go. We are excited to be here. Oh, Sean. Sean, come on, let's go. This is like what it's take to take a fucking road trip with you. Hey, kids, let's build a story together. How about we just go do the friggin' live podcast? Great. Yeah, let's do it. All right, guys. Welcome to Smart Class! Oh, this is so nuts. Smart Class!
This is just ridiculous. I like pulling an Oprah. I like pulling an Oprah Winfrey and go, take your seat, take your seat. I know, I know. This was a bit. We started this as a bit. And now we're here in Brooklyn.
With all these beautiful people. I know. I love it. Thank you for coming. Thank you for spending $5 a ticket to come see us. We really appreciate it. But good God. Well, they're here. I guess we got to do this. Everybody all back there. Yeah, you're going to sit there. You're going to sit there. We're going to grab a seat. Tonight it's my guest, so I get the middle.
Why is that good news? Why is that good news? That's not always good news. I will tell you, I am very excited about my guest tonight. My heart is pounding, pounding. It's not just the Diet Red Bull. Now, we've all had a lot of Red Bull because we had a long night. Oh, my God. Oh, Jesus. So we got stuck in, where were we? Boston yesterday. And our flight was supposed to leave at 10.30 after the show. And we ended up leaving at 5 this morning, 6 this morning, something like that. 45-minute flight took us eight hours to get here. Eight hours.
So we've had like three hours sleep, so we were getting the best version of us. But the best part is our amazing, incredible director, Sam Jones. We're stuck on the plane, and we're all kind of just really quiet, trying to catch any kind of winks we can. And then we hear this. Oh, God, yeah. And by the way, he's like, I didn't get any sleep. We're like, no, no, no, you're the only one who got sleep. None of us. And then we get to the hotel. They always make fun of me because I always have my kind of, you know, my things. Like when you travel, you have your things. And so I always ask for a fan and a blanket. I need an extra fan. Yeah, let's not gloss over that. Let's not gloss over it.
Every time we pull into a hotel, Sean, there's always, like, 20 minutes later, there's, like, a knock on the door, and a guy shows up with a fan and a big blanket. And we're like, no, wrong room. And then Sean shoots up, no, no, no, that's me. Because we're all staying together. Did we mention that? We're staying in the same room? We're all in the same room. It's all for this stupid-ass show. Where do you see it? It's such a mistake. Actually, it should be noted, you wanted to stay in the same room. Well, I thought it was like, well, if we're going to do it, let's get full stupid-ass. Yeah. So Jason's like, listen, we're all going to stay together, and we're all just going to be, and we just, 24-hour access to the cameras, six hours into it, he's like, fuck this. Yeah.
It's a nightmare. It's your idea. I'm not usually... I'm peaking right now. I'm usually in such a bad mood. Am I not a moody guy? Yeah, you're a very, very moody guy. Every morning, every morning, this coming straight at me. Just his hair is about eight feet high with the bed head, with the cup of coffee. So fucking angry. He's coming right at me. And he shuffles, too. You know how he shuffles? He walks like this. I'm not exaggerating. He walks like this, and he looks like all of his bones are so brittle, like he's about to snap.
Like this. Is that true? It's true. It's true. Daddy's back hurts. I know. A lot. What else? I don't know. So much else. Should we just get to the guest? Yeah, let's get to the guest. Let's get on with it. It's your guest. All right, granddad needs notes, too. Gang, Dash. We've been going to different cities, and in each city, we are trying to invite a guest that is part of its fabric, its spirit, its soul. This guy, so now you know it's a man, checks the boxes. He is also... Giuliani.
The Giuliani? Wait, no, I'm saying... Don't turn them against us already! Wait, I may have skipped a sentence. Hold on a second. Gang, Dash. We've been going to different cities, and in each city we're trying to invite a guest that is part of its fabric, its spirit, its soul. This guy checks those boxes. He's also an enormous hero to each of us. He is comedy royalty. I know exactly who it is. Bullshit, you don't know who this is. Don't guess it yet, hold on. Mouth it to me. Hold on, don't let me see it.
And he is the undisputed best at what he does. Hey, Sean keeps going like this. Martin's short. Martin's short. Are you finished? Sorry. Gang dash. Fuck. Thank you, Sean. All right. He's the undisputed best at what he does. No one better. Period. He has 52 Emmy nominations to prove it. Along with 12 wins. He's got a Kennedy Center Honor, a Mark Twain Award, but...
In the last few years, he has selflessly chosen to stop everything and fill in for the recently deceased Santa Claus. Will, Sean, Brooklyn, please welcome Mr. David Letterman. Come on, Dave. Thank you. Whoa. Hi, Sean. Great pleasure to see you. Jason, great pleasure to see you. Will, all my best, my friend. Nice to see you. Oh, my gosh. No, no, no, no, no. Where do I go? Thank you very much.
Hi. Terrific. Wow. Thank you. What a lovely thing, and what a beautiful theater, and thank you, and thank you again. That was delightful. I was, uh, holy shit, right? Yeah. I'm sitting backstage listening to you guys. Thinking about the mistake you made. No, and all I can think of is, I hope this doesn't cut into my time. Yeah. Sorry. We have run a little long. Let me get to question eight. Oh, my gosh. Oh, this is key. First of all, before you get into the question, it's so great to see you. Thank you for inviting me.
At risk of embarrassing you, I should say that, and I think I speak for Sean, but it is such an honor to have you here. You have always truly been one of my... Oh, please. I know, I know. Oh, please. And I've done so many, and I've told you that before, but it's true, and I'm so delighted that you're here. Oh, God bless all of you.
I would just like to add that he said he'd speak for me, but I've never said anything like that. I have a rundown. I have my own sort of document on you guys, my dossier here. When you were first on the show, what I remember about you, I think you were smoking. Yes. Were you really? No, no, like I was going in and out of smoking, and you would check in on my various appearances as to whether or not I was smoking at the time. You didn't smoke on the show, though. No, I never smoked on the show, but I did do, you liked it when I went through my various smoking positions. Yes, yes. Which were, I told you I'd quit, but I missed doing the, like...
Me? Yeah, yeah, sure. Like that kind of stuff. Yeah, yeah. I mean, that was the hook upon which you were booked. Yes. I get it. And extremely funny. And Toronto. I remember that about you. Yes, thank you. Now, yeah. And Sean, the last few times you were on the show, you were doing a musical across the street. Promises, promises. Hold for applause. Yeah.
And I don't know if it was between shows or before the show, but you came on with such enviable energy, such good-natured, likable excellence as a human. That's the Coke. That's very nice. Whenever we would be talking after the show, the comment was always, why doesn't Sean have his own show? Like a talk show. I know you've had shows. Right? I mean, that would be fantastic.
You thought about it. Yes, I thought about it. That's very kind of you. And if I ever did it, here we go. You are one of the biggest reasons why I would do it. The biggest. Yeah, you are such a huge influence on me. I know you hate that. You're like, where do I put it? But it's like, it's really, really true. You are. What is that? The opening hero of all of us. Thank you. Now I'll get to you. Now you were on the show many, many, many times. And in the, I know you won't believe this, but we had pre-show meetings. Not with me. No, not with you. Everyone was very excited. And then you would come on. We let out.
Wow, can the guy talk? And, I mean, really, we only had an hour of show. And then he was so, he had so many stories. And he told them so well, and he had them memorized. It was like talking to Charles Dickens, for God's sake.
And then at 1045, the people would be in the Broadcast Center editing because he had gone so long. So that's what I remember about the appearances of the three of you. You were in a blackout, weren't you? Oh, I'm in a blackout right now. Now, this is fascinating to hear you say this because I've always wanted to ask you this or anyone that I have been on a talk show with. So for those that are for Tracy. Tracy. Tracy.
Tracy. Sean's sister in Wisconsin. Sean's sister in Wisconsin doesn't understand showbiz lingo. Sometimes we've got to fill her in on the inside baseball. So there is a pre-interview that a guest usually does so that in the absence of a conversational skill, you have a set of predetermined questions and ballpark answers so that the host and the guest can have a palatable interview. Non-existent on this show. It does not exist. Spoken like a robot. So now I, because I, like all of us in this room and across the planet, are a huge fan of Dave Letterman, you want to make sure you've got your stuff together. So I'd work on...
What could I possibly tell? What's funny that's happened in my life in the last few weeks? So, I've got some stuff to say. He's doing it now! So, I would have these stories, and I thought, I'm being responsible, because, by the way, I remember watching you do an interview, maybe it was 60 Minutes or something, where they would say to you, what constitutes a good interview? And you said, and I never forgot it, it drives you nuts when people come on the show, and they think that you are lucky to have them sitting in the chair, when, in fact, they're lucky to sit in the chair because they're trying to promote something. Yeah, I mean, we're really, I don't know.
I just got a cue from the stage manager. So I always wondered if I went on too long. And now he's telling me I did. All those years. They all know. They listen to the podcast so they know you go on too long. And Dave knows you go on too long. But we all love you, Jason. Yes, we do. Now...
You also, some of your colleagues visit with a guest before they come out. You never did that when I was... Never would do that, no. I love that. There was a question 10, 15 minutes ago. Are you going to go down and say hi to Dave? I was like, no, he never did that with any of his guests. Thank you. So I probably shouldn't. Was that a good decision? Yes, it was absolutely in my case. I can't speak for the world, but in my case, that was a good decision. Why? Because you're down, so 10 minutes ago, you're down in the dressing room. What are you doing? Everything I know about, well, that's none of your business. But everything I know about running a talk show, I learned from Johnny Carson. And Johnny Carson... He never came back. He was the guy before Jay Leno.
Jay would come back into the room, but Johnny never did. You understand it was like the Rotary Club with Jay. But Johnny would never come down because he always felt like... whether I know the guest or do not know the guest, I want the, oh, hi, welcome to the house moment. And that initial electricity or lack thereof should come naturally. So that's that. That's the point of the whole show. Can I ask you this? What was your, I'm sure you remember, what was your first meeting like with Johnny? What was that event? Was that because he was hiring you to do the show? Or was it just an appearance, like a regular appearance? The first time I was on The Tonight Show as a guest. And it's interesting because we're talking about Johnny Carson. Had we been talking about Johnny Carson 30 years ago, the room would be full of a different kind of electricity. But for those who didn't experience that,
He was, I think, the best ever at the show business late night television talk show format. Without question. And if you look at what he did now, the consistency of what this guy did. I mean, it wasn't once a week. It was night after night after night. I will watch reruns with my husband. I'm gay, Dave. I would watch... Still? Yeah, still. I am taking every medication. It's not working. Oh, my God.
This is awful. We need stuff to cut, Dave. So Dave, me and Scotty a lot of times check out old Johnny Carson episodes, and it's amazing how long he spoke to the guest. It was like a 20-minute, 30-minute interview, and are you happy that you didn't have to do that, or would you have preferred to have the time? Well, that's an excellent question. I think you always would like a little more time, especially if you're enjoying the moment, the guest. But the thing about Johnny, he just was always Johnny, and it didn't make any difference who the guest was or what was going on. You just wanted a chance before you went to sleep to visit with your friend Johnny, and he did that.
for 30-some years, and I never saw the guy break a sweat. I never saw him miss a beat. But people feel the exact same way about you. I'd like to see the paperwork on this. And we're going to get into Jason's appearance on Johnny Carson, his first one. It's great, and I wish we had an image we could pull up, because it's tremendous. This is great.
How many times did you do The Tonight Show with Johnny before you then, he sort of anointed you as the, you know, to do the late night show? Well, you guest hosted a bunch, yeah? Yep, a few times, maybe a couple of dozen times, guest hosting and appearing as a guest on the show. And then we got the 1230 show, which Seth Meyers now has, and Conan O'Brien had that show for a while as well. I want to tell you something. I've been listening to the show. Come on. Yes, and I had it on when Ryan Reynolds was on. God bless Ryan Reynolds. A great Canadian. And I started thinking, oh, this is...
I have to talk to him for the little Netflix deal, and I listened to him on your show, and I thought, there's no point. This is the best piece of entertainment, not in a film with Ryan Reynolds and friends. I just, it depressed me. So today I thought, okay, I'm going to be there in Brooklyn, and I'll just listen to another one. And it was very Sonnenfeld.
Oh, right. I know. And he was on your show a lot. And we loved him. Talk about a guy that had to have a little editing. Oh, yeah. They're still working on his last segment. You know the story about his getting, when he first started in pornography as a young cameraman. And that story, which was about five minutes on our show, was 40 minutes. And we all agreed that even for us, we thought, there's no way. My mom can't hear this story. Yeah, we pulled it out. No one will ever hear it. It's the most repulsive story you could ever imagine. We rarely do that. So the same thing with this. I know Barry Sonnenfeld, as Will mentioned. And I couldn't finish listening.
because it was so good, and I thought, oh, I'm going to go out there and just dump all over their show. And I'll tell you what I love about it is the theme music for the podcast. Right? Yeah. It's great. It's catchy. They haven't put the bar too high. No, no. It's brain dead. Yeah, you know the show can live up to that.
And then the Barry Seinefeld one, you were in London. Yes. And I'm thinking, this is the example of why radio ruled the world before television. Instantly now, I'm envisioning myself being in London, and you guys, I assume, are on the West Coast. Didn't really come to mind. In slippers. In slippers and PJs. But I was delighted by it. But then again, the interview with Barry Seinefeld was so good, I couldn't finish that one either. I'm sorry. Now, are you loving doing long-form conversations as opposed to the 10-minute sprints? Well, there's two different things here.
Yes, the longer the better. But, you know, they're two different machines. The talk show is, understand you had trouble on the airplane coming in from L.A. That's the talk show. And then the longer form is, have you ever seen an airplane? That's a whole different story. It's a little roomier in that house. And we will be right back. This podcast is brought to you by DeLonghi.
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When you decide who you want to talk to, are you, because like for us, it's obviously, it's see if hero X, Y, or Z is interested in talking to us, and or who could we learn something from because we are less than smart. How do you go about deciding who you want to talk to? It's the same. Everything is a compromise, and sometimes you're pleased with a compromise, sometimes you have to, you know, take one and wait your turn. It's not, that's the most difficult part about it. I'm guessing.
you gentlemen perhaps do not have the obstacles that we sometimes have getting guests for our show. Hang on. No, no. I want to tell you, everybody I knew, because people, they're surprised to see me, they say, well, what are you going to do? And I mentioned this. Oh, my goodness. For some reason, people really embrace the idea of the show. I don't get it. That's a good point for some reason. That's the part that sticks out. It's so beautiful because it's so organic because I believe you are friends from a previous existence. Yes. And we did start it genuinely so that we could spend time with each other. During COVID. Before the pandemic. That was quite legitimate. And we did set the bar very low.
It was very DIY, and it still, for all intents and purposes, is the way we do the show, the way we put it together. Do it myself. Do it myself. Thank you. And we try to keep resetting the bar as low as possible. And that's why I wish I could go back and tell my parents in high school how important it was to keep the bar low. I was building to this. You know what I mean? It's...
It's like being in the Admirals Club waiting for a flight and you hear three people genuinely interesting and friendly talking to one another. But you had ratings to tell you, oh, there are people watching a show. We literally opened up our laptops again in our pajamas doing this. Had no idea people were listening to this. And then you nice people bought tickets to a tour, which was the only verification we had that people were listening. So thank you very much. It is absurd. Dave, I, you know. Oh, search for it. Let's roll it over to the side. This is great.
You really, really honored, man. It's not, you know, everybody... Let me help you out. Favorite color. You know, Dave, I don't know if you know that Sean was nominated for host of the year. Host of the year. Host of the year. iHeartRadio podcast host of the year. And again, not to belabor it, but Sean sent Jason and me a text saying, hey, guys, congrats. We were nominated for this award. And the second sentence highlights the fact that he was nominated for host of the year.
To which Jason and I responded, well, congrats, I guess. Yeah, he didn't read the body of the email, just the headline that we'd gotten a couple of nominations. Well, on the most joyous part of that whole thing was... You losing, that's right. You lost. Who is host of the year? Who is host of the year? I have no idea. No, no, no, seriously, who won? I'm being serious, I have no idea. Well, how do you, you're a nominee, you should know. You've been nominated, do you know all the people in your category? Yes, I do. They're all pinned up on your wall. Yes, and most of them are Jon Stewart. You know, the grind of a talk show that you, the late name of David Letterman.
Everybody knows the grind is just you work your balls off like five days a week. You're always there. Everybody knows that. And because of that, you tend to have a more reclusive life. And people are kind of amazed when you appear anywhere because, like, oh, my God, Dave, it's like a magic trick. Respond to these accusations that you're a recluse. Oh, my God, he's walking upright. But so what do you think has changed since your show, you chose to end your show from then and now? Have you evolved into, other than your Netflix, other than business-wise, what do you reflect upon now and think differently about?
Your Honor, can I hear the question again, please? Is that what I sound like? Oh, no, no, that was not even close. That was better. So it's worse than that. That was Reader's Digest compared to you.
Well, while you're answering, I'm going to start studying my questions here for a second. I don't know exactly what to say. Yes, that's okay. That's okay. I just think, like, are you more open to things that you weren't now that you may have not been? Well, I realize that, and perhaps the three of you feel the same, and I hope not, when you have a show, and I don't know that it's like that now, but I was so single-minded that I shut out a lot of other experiences in my life that I should have been enjoying. Well, this is what I'm talking about, David. Well, I wish you had said that. Easy.
Stop pressing him. Why are you making this so contentious, Sean? If you want to lay down for the rest of the therapy, I can go sit over there. But I will say that, you know, many, many things that are more important to me now than I knew they were when I had a show. And I think that's lopsided. So that's a regret of being on the air that long. I feel like we're skirting around family. Let's talk about family, Dave. Okay. No, let's talk about your family. What about your sister? Thank you. Your name's Tracy. You want to come to Madison? I've been to Madison, University of Wisconsin. Beautiful.
Yeah, we're going there. Now, I used to love you talking about your drive to work in your monologue. Did you drive here today? I rode here. You rode here today. Did we send a car? Someone did. Okay. Now, do you... Sorry, I thought you meant a motorcycle. I legitimately did. I wish. Oh, you know how I got here? My Harley. No, no. You got motorcycles. And I wish it was a Harley. No, I came on my motorcycle. My Harley Davidson today. That's not true. No. But you've got some. Yeah, but when you get to be my age, every time you get on one, you think, oh, I shouldn't be on this. Right.
And so they are less ridden than they used to be. Do you still like driving fast? Yes, I do, but I don't anymore. I lost my license for a month because of driving fast, and that took it right out of me. On the Merritt. On the Merritt Parkway, yes. It's a great road to drive quickly on. How fast? Fans of Connecticut Highways. Hey, yeah. How fast were we going? The fastest I've gone in a passenger car, there's two figures. There's the European number, and then there's the Long Island Expressway number. Long Island Expressway 140.
Autobahn 150. Nice. Wow. Nice. Now, don't you agree? Nice. I like it a lot. I think that makes a lot of sense, right? It makes no sense. Jason, tell them. Jason has won the... Oh, please. It's a cheesy celebrity race. You won the Toyota Celebrity Grand Prix. You did that, didn't you? I never did it because I knew I would make a fool of myself. Oh, I'll bet you wouldn't. But you won the race? I did pretty well. First, one year, second, and third. I don't like to brag. Wow. So you were on the podium three years in a row? I don't know if they were consecutive. Yeah, I know. I'm out. And, Jason, you're not going to switch the subject.
And in a non-celebrity race, you also partook in a professional race in the Poconos, am I right? Yes, we did Lime Rock, and then the Poconos, I got in a spill because some dingbat got in a crash in front, and then I had to go through the wreckage, flipped over, and the wheel came up through the wheel, smashed my ankle, broke a bone, only broken bone I've ever had, and then I said, I'm going to leave this to the professionals and go back to the cheesy stuff. Well, he illustrates exactly what kept me from doing this sort of thing. He's exactly right. Now, were you on the oval at Pocono? The tri-oval. The tri-oval. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You can get some stuff.
But speaking of speed, don't you... What kind of car were you in? This was a sport truck series. So it's pickup trucks, but lowered. It's not, yeah, see, it's not that impressive. There is nothing. Right? Nothing impressive. Nothing more exciting than watching trucks race.
Woo. Where do I get my season pass? So from the excitement of car racing to something truly mundane, I really want to know, what'd you do today? What do you do every day? That's what I'm interested in. I want to know what's just a normal day for Dave. Are you an early riser? Let's start there. No, not an early riser. I go to bed late. I stay up late watching climbing movies. Oh, no, no, shut up, Will.
Oh, God. He loves any of the foreign crime shows on Netflix with subtitles. He'll talk you to your ears bleed about that or climbing stuff. Yeah, but wait. What about Solo? Did you see Solo? Free Solo. Free Solo, sorry. This is years ago for me. Han Solo. No, no, no. Free Solo. Free Solo. I'm down to watching Slovakian people climb their way through the Tatras in English subtitles. And I don't know why. I know Alex Honnold like he's a member of the family. Yeah, sure. And I can't stop watching them. That's the Free Solo guy, Alex. Yeah, he's amazing. He's been on the show, eh?
Hey. No, he's a Canadian. That's a Canadian. Sorry. Now, there's something about Mount... He should be on the show. He should be on the show, and the 100-foot wave, too. Sorry, that's incredible. In Portugal, yeah. Anytime you see these people who are doing incredible things, and the other guy... 14 peaks. Yeah, 14 peaks. Excellent, yeah. And we're good. Now, there is something about Mount Everest. Did you get heckled a lot last night with the businesses? Yeah, well, we did.
I mean, if, you know, the sound of seats emptying counts as heckling. I'm sure. Forgive me. Apparently there were quite a few people that left. Let's go, Carol. Get your purse, Helen. There is something about Mount Everest that's like a magical draw to me. Do you have a Mount Everest draw at all? Well, I know quite a lot about Mount Everest from the two dozen films I've watched about climbing Mount Everest. Would you? Oh, God, no. Really? What do you like about it? I don't know. I just don't know. Somebody seeing a challenge through, like, that kind of a...
Yes, the scenery, typically lovely, and the kind of things I will not see probably in my lifetime, regrettably. Yeah, I felt that way like when I went to Paris for the first time. I was like, well, there's the Eiffel Tower. It's just like every movie and postcard. Got it. I'm ready to go. Well, when you're climbing Mount Everest, every film about climbing Mount Everest, I'm sorry, did I lean on your lap there? No. It wasn't going to get higher. So you would not, what about this base camp? No, no, good Lord, no. It's just a helicopter ride. No, it's not. Helicopters can't fly about 20,000 feet because the air is so thin. No, no, no, but they do rescues that are higher than that, right? No. No. No.
God. Rescues above that elevation are rarely successful. But you get into what they call the death zone. The death zone, yeah. Where your body starts consuming itself. Yeah. And the air is so thin and you lose your voice and you get dizzy and you get block-headed. And I heard one man describe he was coughing up tissue from his own throat. Oh. So you see why I can't live without him. David. That's great. Now, you don't do climbing, right? I don't do climbing either. My dad climbed Kilimanjaro when he was about 73. Wow. Which is not huge. Oh, it's a big deal. But it's pretty big. 19,000 feet. What? Yeah.
I always tell these guys stuff about my dad, and they're like, what? And I'm like, well, you never, and it turns out they never ask. My dad wrote a book during quarantine. He wrote a novel. That you bored us with earlier. Fiction, non-fiction? Fiction, but based on a true story. You guys never ask about my dad. It's not a happy story. How do you describe a black hole? You know what I mean? Well, it's just tire screeching. Speaking of speeding away, yeah.
Sean, he invites this, Dave, by the way. Just in case you think we're being cruel, he set me up for that. I feel like I came on a bad night. I know, you did come on a bad night. I wanted to ask you, just to get out of climbing for a second, and go back to, because I'm fascinated with when you started, and you started doing Late Night, and in fact, I think you, and correct me if I'm wrong, started actually in a daytime show in a hosting capacity. I used to watch it all the time. It was on NBC at like 9 in the morning. I used to watch it as a kid. I was fascinated by you, because nobody was doing that kind of comedy, especially during the day in the morning. But you started, and you got that job coming out of, you were a stand-up for many years, and what was that transition like? Did you...
Did you know at that moment you were saying goodbye to your stand-up career and that you were going a different direction? Yeah. In my day, those days, a long time ago, it was much easier to know what you were going to do and know how to get there. And so I knew that if I wanted to get a television show, I had to go to California and start doing stand-up. And then you get on The Tonight Show, and then if you're lucky, other things happen. And that's exactly what happened for me. Where did doing the weather in Indianapolis fit into that plan?
That was my nascent television career. So the door that was open happened to be the weather door? Yes. And did you enjoy that? I just enjoyed it. First of all, not a meteorologist. I did not know anything about the weather. Still really don't. But I was like 20 years old and they put me on TV. So that's kind of what I enjoyed. And then I knew that this is what I wanted to do with my life. Not this, necessarily. Nobody wants to do this. It's only about 15 minutes more.
And so then I went to California and I got this show and we moved to New York and it was, like Sean said, it was 90 minutes live. And within a month, the NBC daytime television network collapsed. And affiliates were running. They were selling their stations, they were burning things, insurance people were investigating, all because of me and my friends. And I don't know how you guys felt about your entree to show business, but you made a life of it when you were a child. I'm trying, Dave. No, no, but I mean, you were born to it. Yeah, sure. How old were you, sorry, Jason, how old was your first professional engagement in show business? Little House on the Prairie.
Does that, that he knows that? He knows that. How does that feel, Jason? It's gonna take me a while to get over that. I remember seeing you on a couple of the Silver Spoons. Oh, yeah.
But Dave, did you think that you were going to do, when you moved out to California as a stand-up, did you have aspirations to be an actor, to do a sitcom? Was that something that was... No. What I wanted to do was... Who wants to do those? Me? No. No, I just knew I wanted Johnny Carson's job. Right, right. So you always knew that. If it's not his job, a job like that. Because I can't do anything. We talk about that a lot, about when you're that young, knowing exactly what you want to do, your odds go up that you will achieve that because you're so focused on a goal, isn't it?
But what made you... I'm going to yes and it. I'm going to yes and it. Johnny was so good at so many things, and one of them was his... his kindness and conservative sort of approach to certain things. He was very unthreatening. Sexy indifference. Sexy indifference. It was very unthreatening in the best way. Now, your sense of humor has got this incredibly awesome, hilarious edge, sarcasm, dryness to it, which is near and dear to my heart. What made you confident that you would be able to make a career of that without America being afraid of it? He's trying to say, why did you think you could be in showbiz? Oh, thank you.
Well, I had horrible grades in school. I knew I wasn't going anywhere academically, and I had a speech class my sophomore year in high school where the first thing you had to do in speech class, stand up and give us an impromptu five-minute introductory speech. I did that, and when I sat down, I realized, oh, I know exactly what I want to do. So the schooling of it made no difference, and then later I figured out a way to do that. So as you point out, a rare comment on your part. He does listen to the show. It's amazing. It's so flattering. And I feel bad for a lot of people who just don't know what they want to do because...
If you do know that, it's a true gift. Yeah, I agree. But then you were able to take that sense of humor, and you do your show, and somebody sits down in that guest chair, and they're not being a good guest, and I'll bet that incredibly sharp, caustic sort of sense of humor, in the best sense of the word, starts to fire, and you have to start the self-edit of, how nasty can I be to this person? Because they deserve it, and America that's watching knows they deserve it, but you've got to kind of calibrate it. What is that process? Well, really quick, one of the funniest examples of that in history is the walking phoenix when you just couldn't get anything out of him. And I think your line was... I think your line was...
Well, I'm sorry you couldn't make it tonight. Cute. We'll be right back. At MedCan, we know that life's greatest moments are built on a foundation of good health, from the big milestones to the quiet winds. That's why our annual health assessment offers a physician-led full-body checkup that provides a clear picture of your health today and may uncover early signs of conditions like heart disease and cancer. A healthier you means more moments to cherish. Take control of your well-being and book an assessment today. MedCan. Live well for life. Visit MedCan.com slash moments to get started. And now back to the show.
And then the opposite would be true. He did the nicest thing for me once. We're doing the interview and I said something that was unkind to someone in my family. I thought it was funny and I could say it because they were in my family. And the audience roared with laughter. We go to commercial and then Dave leans over and he goes, so what we're going to do is I'm going to reintroduce you. You're going to come out and we're going to cut that career canceling comment you just made.
Yes, I remember this. And I said, which part? He goes, you remember when you called such and such as such and such? And I was like, but they loved that. He goes, you're not going to love it. We're going to redo the top. And I came back, he reintroduced me, I came back, we re-shot the whole beginning. How many times have you done that? That was such a nice thing you did for me. That was the only time you ever did that? Didn't have to do it much. Had to do it quite a lot with myself. Really? Oh, yeah. I was going to ask you, do you remember those vividly? Do you have the top ten? And I'm not asking. Sure. Yeah, we live in fun times.
I remember this was a thing, Sarah Palin. Ah, near and dear, near and dear. Remind me, remind me. This was a joke I told Sarah Palin and one of her daughters had been at Yankee Stadium. Already funny. And I think she had two daughters at the time. I don't know the state of the family now, but at the time I think there were two. And there was a younger one and an older one. I assumed that it had been the older of the two.
What's the matter? I'm loving it. I'm loving every more celebrity. Keep going. So I assumed it was the older daughter. And the joke was some clumsy suggestion that Alex Rodriguez had made a move on the daughter. Later, I find out, to my embarrassment, that it was, in fact, the younger daughter. This joke entirely inappropriate. Okay. So now I... Oh, I remember that. So she was south of 18. I don't know her age. I just know that I had made a mistake.
So I thought long and hard, and we had meetings on it, and we crafted an apology to Sarah Palin and her family and to everyone at Yankee Stadium. Did they respond? Well, here's what happened. Now, I do the opening, and you can just feel the leaden sense of dread in the theater because I'm about to pour my guts out apologizing, and it deserved an apology. It was stupid, ignorant, more than stupid. Which is better, by the way? Ignorant. Ignorant, yeah. So I went through the, I'm so sorry, and I didn't mean to, and please forgive me, Sarah, and your beautiful daughter, Tiffany. And we go to commercial, and they come back, and they said, her name is Sharon.
Apology for the apology? Yeah, then we had to do the whole thing again, which was now, you know, nobody wants to sit through the nearly tearful apology twice. Yeah, sure. So you have the luxury of being a slight tape delay where you can go back and you can catch something like that. Have you ever done that? I did Conan once, and I was driving, when he was doing, after the Tonight Show, the Conan show, and I was driving back, and we had done a bit in the opening, and I thought, boy, I'm going to spend a lot of time writing a...
an apology in the right column of the Huffington Post next week about why this joke. And so I called and I just said, can you just take it out? They did. And it was a great joke. Did you get requests? Did you get requests like that from guests? Oh, yeah. In those days, it would be, you would hear about it the next week from their publicist. Sure. Yeah. Or when you would try to make the booking again six months later, you would hear about it from the publicist. I said this one thing that we had to get cut out, which we'll cut out of this too, is, yeah, no, it was just like a flipper mark. They might be recording and they won't cut it. So, ixnay. Now, what was the joke? Can you tell the joke? All right, if you don't tell anyone.
You know, by the way, this was... I'm guessing this was 10 years ago, too. It was just a joke that was, again, I thought a great joke. By the way, if he gets canceled, Dave, will you fill in for Will? Sure. No, he doesn't own a laptop. That's the requirement of the gig, is just owning a laptop. What were you doing in London, by the way?
I was writing. I was doing a rewrite on a script with a film with Chappie. I don't know if people remember Chappie. I remember the name from the show. Yeah, my writing partner. So we were doing it. Dave, you just missed kind of, I mean, we just touched on it. You kind of missed that cancel culture just at the end. Yes, it was happening, but not at the rate it's happening now, right? That's all. Yeah, do you think the writing... No, no. Do you think that your writing process... Good point. Good point.
Careful with the good point. And then he said, good point. Do you think your writing process with your staff each night would have been different in today's culture? Yes, without question. Absolutely. And my personal feeling about this is... Careful.
And you hear quite a lot of discussion about, oh, are we too woke? Are we canceling too quickly? Are we overcorrecting? And I feel like, you know, let's overcorrect and see what happens. Who the hell cares? The worst that happens is, oh, we've overcorrected, and then it'll recorrect. But there are many, many things a person needs to be smart and sensitive about that heretofore perhaps we were not. Two of my favorite guests that you had on your show a lot. One was your first guest and your last guest, Bill Murray. And the other was...
And the other one was the incredible, and I was fortunate to know a tiny bit, Charles Grodin. Can you talk a little bit about those two guys? Well, Bill Murray will put you in business. He was in Boston last night. I don't know why he didn't use him. No.
He's playing golf at Double Beach. Oh, I'm playing golf. I'm sorry. Okay, I got some bad info. We couldn't make Bill's deal last night. No, Bill put you in business. And he did it on our first show at 10.30, I think. No, 12.30, whatever. Depending on time zone. And then he came on the failed morning show. Bill came on and Steve Martin came on the failed morning show also. And it was people like this that gave us a lifeline. Because they were so, and still are, beloved and generous. And to come on, these two guys, just a miserable little smoking rag of snot.
Sure. You're talking about them? No, no, I'm talking about my show. It was great. In every case, having Bill on the first show was lovely. Did it make you feel like you're making us feel right now, like a validation beyond your wildest expectations?
We're real happy you're here. I'm happy to be here. I loved Bill then, and I love Bill now, and he's never... He was always on the show, and he was always generous with his friendship and his talent for me and the show. Such a brilliantly hilarious guy. Another guy that, of course, we all... Easily hilarious. That never works hard. Well, there are certain people, I was describing, they have no choice in the matter. Bill has no choice but to be funny. Will Ferrell, who we had on our first night in D.C., has no choice but to be funny. Marty Short, maybe the funniest person on the planet, he has no choice in the matter. He wakes up, and that's his disposition. But I was also going to say, and Jason brought up...
We'd been talking about Charles Grodin. Jason did a film with him, and he was an incredibly funny guy, an incredibly good actor. And what I always loved about his appearances on your show is he came in with a point of view. So he had a story, which was often that he was not pleased about being on the show. Yeah, that's right. And then somehow, immediately, even you saying, welcome to the show, he was really put off by that. Yeah, that's right. And did that kind of, he set up a parameters of a game for the two of you. Yeah, it was delightful, but that model, that template comes from his appearances on The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson. And he would go on with Carson, and his point of view with Carson was,
You don't know anything. You're wealthy. You don't go anywhere. You have people do everything for you. And then he would start with Johnny. For example, what's a quart of milk cost? You don't know what a quart of milk cost. And he would just run Johnny around the theater like that. And the feeling was that, ooh, there's bad blood. But no, they both loved it. And it was the same dynamic that he brought to our show. That must have been one of those examples of a guest who, when they came on, they made the show better. And we're so grateful that he'd been there that night. That's exactly right. And you mentioned Marty Short. Oh, my goodness. This guy.
Marty... You're right, can't help but be funny. Can't help, and I love because he does it all these ways in a little bit, but he'll walk into Sean's house and go, I can't believe you live here. I mean, I've seen your work. I can't believe... You know, just... That's all he does. By the way, every time I laugh. Of course. Of course. Brilliant. When are you... Canadian. Yeah, very Canadian.
We seem to have a lot of Canadians here tonight. Listen, I don't want to take any more of your time. You're just an incredible guy. 58 minutes into this, you don't want to take any more of my time? I just can't tell you, just me personally, I don't want to speak for these two. This is a peak in my life and will be hard to be topped. Thank you so much for saying yes.
Way too kind. No, seriously. I concur. I think the first time I did your show, I think it was the first time that my parents really believed that I was in show business. Yes. And it's been an absolute thrill to get to know you. Everyone, Sean, did I leave you out? Is there something loving to say about me? No, I do. It's a longer reach, but go ahead. Yes. You should have your own talk show. Here we go. By the way.
So, Sean, you were gonna have a talk show. Who knows what's happening? Wait a minute, you can't keep something like that from these guys. They're not gonna say anything. No, I echo what Will said about, yeah, no, about, and I know you've heard, I know your reaction whenever there's praise that, you know, it's always, I get who you are, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Stop rolling your eyes. No, but I really want to, because I'm never going to have this time again to say this to your face, but I echo what Will said, the first time you go on Late Night with David Letterman was the first time you know you made it. And then if you did well, you came back again and again, and you always had me back, and it was such a, every time it was just like now, I just can't believe I'm in your presence because I revere you so much. Well, you're so kind.
Thank you. But you guys weren't guests on the show by accident. No, I was. Somebody canceled it. I will say there was about five or six years where I was lucky enough to be doing a couple of talk shows and I kept hearing about it. Maybe try to get on David. No, he doesn't like kids or doesn't want kids. No, no, didn't say that.
Wow. If you're too young, it's like, but so when finally it was the yes, it was like, oh my God. When you were old enough to be on the show. Wait, I'm going to really embarrass you. Last thing, this is going to embarrass the show you. I, you know, you did something, you did something. You had, you had. We were ending on such a high note. I took it down, you're going to take it further. You were on Alec Baldwin's podcast a long time ago, and you said during the interview, you said, we just had Sean Hayes, who was doing a show called, I don't know, Hi-Ho Promises across the street. And you said.
You said, God, was he funny. He's one of the funniest people. And I saved that clip, and it's still on my phone. Really? Yes. And so I will say this. Now, I'm going to admit something. I moved into still not gay. No. What's happening? I moved into a new house. Oh.
And I had a bunch of photos that were on my laptop, and I created a file to print some photos, a lot of photos of the kids, et cetera, to put up outside the boys' rooms. And one of them that I put up to be printed was a photo of, I guess somebody sent me from your show, and I was sitting on the chair just like that, what we did at the top, where I was mimicking smoking. And the thrill to me was that you, I was doing this bit, and you were laughing. And it is figures prominently in my hall, with my family and you. This is a true story. If my boys were here, they would attest to this because it was such a monumental moment in my life. So thank you. There's some pathology behind that. How old are your kids? I have three boys. I have a 13-year-old, Archie, and I have an 11-year-old, Abel, and I have a 20-month-old, Denny. Very nice. Very good for you. And you? All of this, I'm not sure their names, but I think it's 50. He's been making Ozark for the last six years. We love Ozark. Thank you.
He's become a very successful, not just actor, and we all love him. He's become a really successful and incredibly talented director. That's really doing. It needs to be talked. Yeah, you started as a kid on, and I give you a lot of shit, but you started as a kid on Little House on the Prairie, and now you become a really successful and very talented director. You're a nice man. You know, what's interesting about this is show business just is a meat grinder. And to begin when you're a child is one thing. To begin when you're a child and then grow and evolve into a continuing success in other and every area of show business. Virtually impossible. And Sean? You and Opie.
I'm going to read your Wikipedia page. Thank you. Well, it's easy when you have a North Star of incredibleness like yourself, sir. Let's please all thank the one and only Dave Letterman. So nice to see you, Will. Thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you very much, Jason. I hope I didn't screw this up for you. Oh, my God. Sean, always a pleasure, my friend. Thank you. Now, I'm going out here. Take as many peppers as you'd like. Thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you. Thanks again. It was a lot of fun. I appreciate that. Thank you, Jason. I mean... I mean, it's crazy.
You guys got Dave Letterman. This is I'm gonna get a lot of I'm gonna get a lot of shit for this But I legitimately just telling him that story and then him looking in the face as I'm telling that I almost started to cry I saw you say I saw him start to cry Willy's really soft. Yeah, same I was like should I tell him this and I'm gonna break down it's be embarrassing So but you know what did you notice what he did on the way out? No, it's really cool He did the same thing that he did on his talk show where he goes like this and he just goes Hey, thanks for coming. Thanks for coming. I really appreciate it. I don't know about you guys I mean, I know you guys as a teenager, you know as a guy who's you know, whatever doesn't matter how old I am
But growing up in the 80s, the thing to do was, on week nights, was to stay up late enough to watch Late Night, before he did the Late Show on CBS, which was also amazing. But to do that, and so much of the things that I loved about comedy were formed from watching him. Yeah, for sure. And just so that you guys know, not that this is about us, because it's about all of us, but just so that you guys know. Since when is it not about us? This was an enormous thing for us. Like, the fact that he said yes. I mean, he said yes to do this. He said yes to do this because...
People listen to it. That's you guys. So thank you for doing this for us. And how would he sign off at the end of the night? No, Sean, no. What, I'm just asking? Give us a second. Let it breathe. I'm just saying, I can't remember how he would... Just knowing that he's still out there speeding along all those highways and byways!
At MedCan, we know that life's greatest moments are built on a foundation of good health, from the big milestones to the quiet winds. That's why our annual health assessment offers a physician-led, full-body checkup that provides a clear picture of your health today and may uncover early signs of conditions like heart disease and cancer. A healthier you means more moments to cherish. Take control of your well-being and book an assessment today. MedCan. Live well for life. Visit MedCan.com slash moments to get started.