DAVID MEESSEN | The Work of Building Attraction episode artwork

EPISODE · Apr 22, 2025 · 1H 1M

DAVID MEESSEN | The Work of Building Attraction

from Order of Man · host Ryan Michler

It's no secret that most men want to find love in life and someone they can partner with throughout life. But the reality is that far-fewer men are doing the work required than ever before. And, for those who are actively looking for love, many of them are floundering when it comes to approaching women and building interest that could potentially lead to a long-term relationship. David Meessen is a man who has made it his life's work to help men understand why they struggle and why society, at large, seems to be continually stacking the deck against the type of relationships the men listening to this podcast are looking for. Today we talk about why men seem to be so intimidated in approaching women, the skills (and, they are learnable skills) you can develop to have a more successful dating life, why "Progressive Desensitization" is such a valuable option in love and in life, the alarming statistics around romantic relationships and young men's increasing aversion to them, and how radical honestly (not overly-agreeableness) is what creates attraction. SHOW HIGHLIGHTS 00:00 – Opening & Dating Stats Alarming for Men 01:34 – The Harsh Reality of Dating Apps 03:09 – How Dating Apps Work Against Most Men 04:27 – Learning to Play the Dating Game 05:26 – Sacrificing Values for Connection 06:37 – Approach Anxiety and Desensitization 08:51 – Start Small: Building Momentum Through Socializing 10:01 – Rejection is Often Kind – and Necessary 11:23 – Don't Pedestalize Her – Have Options 12:46 – We Live in a Friendly or Hostile Universe 14:16 – Oversharing as a Powerful Connection Tool 15:21 – Men Struggle to Share Their Strengths 16:29 – Assume the Burden of the Conversation 17:51 – Bitterness Towards Women & Scarcity Mindset 19:58 – Reality is Better Than Fear-Based Fantasies 22:13 – You Crave the Experience, Not the Person 23:31 – Compatibility vs. Chemistry 25:16 – Communication is a Learnable Skill 26:29 – Influence vs. Manipulation 30:54 – Authenticity in Style & Presence 32:34 – Confidence is Just as Authentic as Humility 33:10 – Radical Honesty and Sharing Values Early 35:42 – Relationships Built on Aligned Values 37:27 – Disagreement is Attractive 39:33 – Common Mistakes in Online & Real-Life Dating 41:39 – Learn Humor to Boost Social Skills 43:03 – Don't Skip the Ask – Get the Contact 44:59 – Women Get Approached Less Than You Think 46:11 – How to Approach in the Gym the Right Way 47:52 – Meeting Quality Men Matters Too 49:03 – Why Intelligent Men Struggle with Connection 52:15 – Expression Freedom & Compatibility 53:22 – Choose to See the Best in Each Other 54:26 – Final Thoughts & Where to Find David Battle Planners: Pick yours up today! Order Ryan's new book, The Masculinity Manifesto. For more information on the Iron Council brotherhood. Want maximum health, wealth, relationships, and abundance in your life? Sign up for our free course, 30 Days to Battle Ready

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DAVID MEESSEN | The Work of Building Attraction

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It's no secret that most men want to find love in life and someone they can partner with throughout life. But the reality is that far-fewer men are doing the work required than ever before. And, for those who are actively looking for love, many of...

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