Day 3 — How To Talk About Money Without Someone Shutting Down Or Shutting You Out

[Download the Shared Holiday Plan Worksheet] Money is one of the most triggering topics for couples — not because of the dollars, but because of what money represents:safety, identity, control, childhood wounds, pressure, fear of the future… and the million unspoken expectations that hit especially hard in December.Today’s episode is the one we wish every couple could listen to before the holiday madness begins.Inside Day 3, we break down:💸 Why money activates you (and your partner) more than almost anything else— including the stats that prove you’re not alone and that this reaction is human💸 How your childhood shaped your money mindset— and how those old beliefs sneak into your marriage without you realizing it💸 Why partners shut down, withdraw, get defensive, or avoid money talks entirely— and the invisible emotional patterns underneath those reactions💸 What Roger sees when couples make big financial decisions— not just the numbers, but the emotional triggers, different personalities, and the moments that make or break teamwork💸 The 2 tools that changed everything for us as a couple:1. The Shared Holiday Plan (the five-minute conversation that prevents overspending + resentment)2. The 3-Minute Money Check-In (the diffuser that stops spirals before they start)And because so many couples struggle with money communication, we also share the idea we’re playing with for January:a couples money challenge we’d do with you, not teach from above.✨ BONUS: Shared Holiday Plan WorksheetWe included a simple worksheet to help you and your partner map out highly stressed out seasons (like the holidays) spending without the argument, the anxiety, or the silent resentment.You can grab it here:(Feel free to make a copy of this worksheet so you and your partner can fill it out together. Just go to File → Make a Copy and save it to your own Google Drive.)Use it before the chaos hits.Or tonight.Or right after listening to this episode.Your future selves will thank you.This episode is a must-listen for any couple who:* feels tension around spending* avoids money talks until they explode* wants December to feel intentional, not overwhelming* wants to understand each other — not fight each other* wants tools that work even when emotions are highPour a tea, go for a walk, sit in the car together…and press play.Day 3 is one of the most important conversations of the whole series.Let’s talk about money the way no one taught us how to — with honesty, humor, compassion, and actual teamwork.Kristen & Roger This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit bykristenlee.substack.com