Hi, and welcome once again to History Tweeds. I am Tim. Welcome to the podcast where we take a lighthearted look at the dark side of history. The topic of our podcast today is Patricia Fann Taylor Allison, known as the Deadly Magnolia.
She was a southern belle, or actually is a southern belle. She's still alive, Randy. And she had somewhat of a checkered past, and we're going to talk about her past. I don't want to say at the very beginning she was never convicted of murder, but she was convicted of some crimes, and there's a suspicion that she was involved in some murders, but she was never convicted, so I want to say that right up front.
Right up front. Yeah, right up front, so that we don't get sued. But... What are they going to take?
They're going to pay you on money, dude. What the fuck? Let me start by saying we are a true crime comedy podcast, and we cover the dark side of history, and we use adult language, so if adult language offends you... Grow the fuck up.
...then please check out one of the other podcasts out there, such as They Walk Among Us, and a new favorite... We've got a new one on here, Timmy. Okay. And it's one close to my audio.
It's Southern Fried Crime. Tell me about it, Kirk. It's our friend Erica Kelly. Yes, very attractive young lady.
For Christ's sake, can't you let the podcast stand on its own? It doesn't matter if she's attractive, but it doesn't matter because you... Okay, if you don't think she's attractive, that's okay. No, I think she's attractive, but I'm just saying the podcast itself can stand on its own.
Yes, it's a very good podcast. It's a Southern Fried Crime with Erica. It's about contemporary and historical crimes throughout the South. Oh, you're a son of the South.
I am, and it exposes the dark underbelly of the South. Son of a bitch. There's a difference. It exposes the dark underbelly of the South, Timmy.
Much like In a Garden of Good and Evil, Timmy. I love that movie. But it had Kevin Spacey. It was actually a book, but...
I know, but it was a movie, too. A book had Kevin Spacey in it. It might have. I've read the book.
I've seen the movie. Thank you, Charles. Let me introduce our panel. I'm proud to introduce a lady, a very lovely lady, a person with a heart of gold.
She's known throughout the land as Brandy the Benevolent, Her Majesty, Queen Brandy the First. How are you today, Brandy? I'm doing all right, Timmy. How are you?
Well, I am well. Excellent. I want to wish my mom a speedy recovery, because she had to spill and fail. She always seems to fall at your house, and I have questions about that.
She fell in a boom, but she's recovering, and she insisted that I come to work today. And carry on. And podcast, basically. Carry on.
Wait, what's on? You know, she really always just mysteriously falls at your house. You know, Timmy has not been convicted of anything, so we don't want him suing us and taking off Adrian. Wait a minute.
I'm not saying that he's tripping it or causing it. I'm just saying it always happens at his house. Do you ever say that she takes a dip every once in a while? I don't care.
She still does it at your house. No, my problem. She's not doing it at Mike's house. My mom has never drank anything.
She's not following it at Mike's house. Dorothy is a teetotter. No, not Dorothy. What did I say?
Dorothy? Yeah. It's not Dorothy, though. It's not Dorothy, though.
It's strictly Dottie. Strictly Dottie. Okay, so I'm glad to be back, and I'm sorry that this podcast is going to be late, but we had some things going on. A lot of things.
But let me introduce you. We're hoping to get back on this. Oh, so Brandy time is taking up talking about Dottie. You have enough time.
Yeah. Settle down. And then really enough. I mean, really, this piece really care.
Really. I had an appreciation, Fred. You two can fuck off. Yeah, you did get an appreciation, Fred.
That should be enough for you, girl. Yeah, settle down, girl. Simmel. I am also proud to introduce a man, the most dangerous man in podcasting today, a man who is known as the moral compass of our podcast.
He is not. A man who has been described as an oasis in the desert of despair. Not by no one. The very honorable, the Reverend Colonel Charles Beauregard, Hawk Waters III, affectionately known as a southern gentleman.
How are you today, Colonel? I'm not good, Jimmy. I'm not good at all. Well, let's spend some time on Chuck.
Well, we have to because, as you know, he was suspended. Well, I've been ill, too. Apparently, I've got some kind of laryngetical thing. I do not support any of this.
Oral cancer. My doctor checked for that. It's just laryngitis of some sort. The Colonel is going to be back on.
So you're going to sound funny during this podcast. I might sound a little peculiar. Yeah, that would be something new. Well, right.
But, yeah, it's been brought to my attention through numerous PMs. Again, I support none of this. That I may have offended. Now, Brandy and I would both like to distance ourselves from the statement you're about to make.
Don't Brandy and I. I don't want you to be near you right now. I'm only going to be able to be sincere if you two could just be quiet. And don't make me put you on my next apology list.
I'm in the next room. Continue, Colonel. I'm trying to continue. You notice how whenever we get to Colonel time, she always interrupts.
Yeah, I'll interrupt you. It's like the child who's jealous of the other child who always says, Now, Brandy time goes on and on and on and on. You know what she is? Marsha, Marsha, Marsha.
So you're telling me I'm Jan Brady. So it's been brought to my attention. Speaking of the witch, David Cassidy is. Oh, yeah.
Charles Manson died. Yeah, he tried to die. They both died. Charles Manson died.
David Cassidy died? He died. I think he's near. No, he's dead.
He's absolutely dead. He's not near dead. He's fucking dead. Well, I mean, yesterday he was near dead.
Yeah, that was a long time ago, too. Well, you know. It's a long time. One day, I'm lucky enough, when we got a terrible illness.
But anyway, as my – So please, no Partridge family jokes, Brandy. As my – I make those all the time. As my PM boxes exploded with people that I've apparently offended – Well, let's set the stage. Our last podcast with you on it – The last one we did, by the way, with Brandy and I was Feller.
It probably will win an award. But the last podcast we did with the colonel, you made some – We were talking about serial killers, and you said that serial killers should target their victims to include members of society that you don't care much for. Well, and it also goes back to other episodes where I've said some – Offensive things. I didn't believe they were offensive when it were brought to my attention.
Yes. I thought, okay, maybe I could see what that – You know, if you're one of those people. Charles, not to prove you wrong, although I will, David Cassidy is not at this time dead. I told you.
Okay, well, it doesn't matter. He'll be dead with anything. But I really appreciate – They're making arrangements for him right now. Uh-huh.
You know, it's never good when they say he's surrounded by family friends. Yeah. Okay, well, let me add David Cassidy to my list. I apologize.
Okay. So – Put him at the end of the list in case something would occur. In an effort to repair – You can apologize for me for being incorrect. I apologize to you.
In an effort to build bridges for those I have offended, Timmy. All right. You're all about building bridges. I've got some people that I would like to say I'm sorry to.
If I have offended you, I'm deeply, deeply sorry. And let me start here, Timmy. I would like to apologize to the Irish. There's nothing wrong with taking an occasional drink and, you know, having it occasionally every single day.
You're not wanting them again. No, I'm just saying there ain't nothing wrong with having a occasional drink. Should I have a potato found? I would like to apologize to people with therapy dogs because I've made some disparaging statements about them.
And if you want to pay $75 an hour to talk to a goddamn dog and tell them your problems and think they're going to get solved, that's your business. It ain't my business. I don't think that's what a therapy dog is, though. What the fuck?
They say therapy dog. We are never getting to this story. This story could have been so short. If you stop interrupting me, I could get to this story.
Stop talking for two seconds. He's on an apology tour. Let him continue. I would like to apologize to midgets.
I did not know that midget tossing was not a thing anymore. Well, first of all, the word midget is offensive. Well, and I know. And it's not midget tossing, Timmy.
It is little people shot put now. Okay? Okay. And, you know, I never even thought about it.
But think about these poor little bastards in a crowded elevator. Okay? Okay. It can't be fun being a little person, Timmy.
Well, especially when you have to jump up to hit the number of your floors. I know. If you're in, like, yeah, 15, and you've got to get somebody, like, can you hit 15 for me? And they say no.
Okay. You know, that's funny. But anyway, those poor little bastards, I just feel sorry for them, and I should not have said anything negative. Sheep.
I'd like to apologize to sheep. Do we have a lot of sheep listeners, Brandy? Well, you know, we had a guy stab the sheep and ejaculate spontaneously. And you know what?
Sheep never have it coming in. It doesn't matter how they dress. There's no reason to bag sheep, Timmy. No reason.
I think he's going to be giving more apologies next time. Let me, oh, Catholics. I'm sorry what I said about Catholics. I apologize for that because 3,000 priests should not ruin a whole religion.
Okay? Oh, my God. Let me see here. Gingers, I deeply apologize.
It is not your fault that God did not give you a soul. So, I'm sorry. Blind people, I'm sorry about that. I just, for the life of me, I apologize for any remarks I made about blind people.
But somebody explained to me why in the fuck you will go to the Grand Canyon. Tell me that. Why do blind people go to the Grand Canyon to me? They have to be careful when they're hiking.
Yeah, they do. Now, amputees. Okay. I apologize to amputees.
I actually thought that joke would work. But there was just something missing to me. I don't know what it was. I thought that was a funny joke.
But people with IBS, I made fun of you in the past. I'm sorry. But it is fun to watch them take the fast, short little steps when you're at the food court and them all. You know who got the IBS by the people just going, ee, ee, ee, ee.
Randy, what do you think about IBS? Dude, you leave me the fuck out of this. I think they should have shot the kid right out of his hand. I would have done it.
That's what I could have done. People who absorb their twin and now have teeth in their vagina. I didn't know you offended that. Well, remember we were talking about the vaginist interest?
And that's how you get it is you absorb your twin and then their teeth ends up in your vagina. And then you become one of those women. Well, that's when it's got a beef. Huh?
It's the twin who has more teeth. Well, and the guy who doesn't know that you've got teeth in your vagina. How would you like to be absorbed and end up in a vagina? Yeah.
Again, I'm not participating in this conversation at all. The curtain's down in case you didn't know. I would like to apologize to Winston Churchill. All right.
He knows. He knows why. It was just something inappropriate I said about his wife, Clementine. I think you're safe.
I think he's been dead like 50 years. Yeah. I mean, things have changed. I hope.
You know, our culture is more accepting. But think about how hard it was for Anne Frank. Think about, you know, people come out of the closet nowadays and they're accepted by everybody else. But the shit got real when Anne Frank came out of the closet.
Can we move forward now? Can we do this goddamn story? I got just two more. No, you don't.
I would like to apologize to magicians because if we weren't for magicians, we would never have slutty assistants. Well, I saw them in half. Yeah, and regular listeners, you might want to – That should be a crime, Brandon. You have to admit that should be a crime.
It should be a crime. Some people in half. I would like to apologize. And listeners, you might want to turn your volume down because this is for a special segment of our listeners.
I would like to apologize to deaf people. I am sorry what I said about you. We hopefully will have closed captioning on this podcast to make it more accessible to you. But I don't know.
We're going to figure it out. But for all of our deaf friends, we are very sorry. Okay. And to the people of Alabama because you can't be all as stupid as the rest of the country is saying.
Oh, and we got a new listener from Alabama. Yeah, and I apologize to them. No. She just posted today and you're insulting her state.
And to David Cassidy. Well, yeah, you should apologize to David Cassidy. He's still alive. And I think our listener from Alabama – I'm probably going to get this wrong.
I think it's Anna. Anna from Alabama. I think so. I believe there's a limerick about that.
No, there's no – yeah, Anna from Alabama. So – we're sorry, Anna. I apologize. Okay.
Is that Anna? She posted something today. Yes, that's her. She's quite – Anna Rachel Garrett.
Yes. She's quite a lovely young lady. She's from Alabama. So, shout out to her.
They're raising right in Alabama. All right. So, let's talk about the Daily Magnolia, Brandy. Southern Bell.
You ever know any Southern Bells in your time, Brandy? I know plenty. Can I just say to me – I apologize. They have to forgive me.
Will you apologize to Southern Bells that you're about to insult here? No. No, I'm not going to – I have rung me a couple Southern Bells in the past, though. They monogram everything.
Southern Bells, too? Yes. And they wear poodle skirts. All right.
Well, Patricia Allison – No, they don't wear poodle skirts. I wish poodle skirts come back and bobby socks. That's some sexy shit right there. Patricia Allison was a Southern Bell, Brandy.
Uh-huh. Isn't it funny that when you – Southern Bell, Bell is spelled with two E's, Colonel? Have you ever thought about that? I have not thought about that, Timmy.
Well, fucking Bell was spelled with – it's – B-E-L-L-E. Yeah, so you know it's a person, not a thing. Thank you. She was believed to have been a – she was believed – she believed that she was a real-life Scarlett O'Hara, Brandy.
Well, we've all believed that at one point or another. As a young beauty – we're going to call her Pat for the sake of the show. Pat? Pat knew how to get what she wanted by just batting her long eyelashes, Brandy.
I do it all the time. This apparently including convincing her husband to murder his parents. You can comment on that, Brandy. Maybe he just didn't like the parents.
No. Born in 1937 as Mary Linda Patricia Vann in Wilmington, North Carolina, Colonel. Down south. I love my – You're a son in the south.
That's where I'm going to retire to, Timmy. South, South, North Carolina. North Carolina. Give me a little house right by – a little cottage right by the beach there.
One of you listeners want to come join the colonel? Why wouldn't your wife be joining you? I do not believe she will, Timmy. Don't blame her.
I'm not inviting her. So she's born in 1937, so she's 80 years old. Patricia's – 37 would be – She's still alive. 63 plus – As far as my dad, she's still alive.
I couldn't find anything that she was deceased. 80 years old, she probably ain't listening to this, and she is. She's going to forget what we said. Almost like David Cassidy.
I wonder if her family's around her, right? It's always a bad family. I wonder if they let Charlie Manson's family around her. It's about to go.
It was a family manual. I need my family around me. All right. Brandy, Pat, as she would be known, was adored by her aunt and especially her grandmother, Brandy.
Perfect. I sense a lack of engagement on your part so far. I'm still trying to make it through the apology tour here. Let's just – yeah.
Now, Pat Brandy was a beautiful child with big green eyes and blondish hair. She was quick and clever and grew into a beautiful teenager, Brandy. Did she grow – what about adulthood? Get into adulthood.
She had a breath. She had a breath. Okay. Everybody's got breasts She was spoiled by her mother and father, Brandy Her father was in the service So she grew up as an army brat Your dad was in the service Yes, he was Were you an army brat?
No You guys didn't travel a lot, though Was he in the service when you were born? No He was in Nam He was in Vietnam when she was born No, he wasn't in Vietnam when I was born He was back when I was born But he served in Vietnam I was at Wright-Patt Air Force Base when I was born So what? Nobody asked you I'm just saying Pat was quick and clever, Brandy And she grew into a beautiful teenager She got her looks from her movie star-looking parents Her mother, Marguerite, and her father, Colonel Clifford Radcliffe Was he a real colonel or a bullshit colonel? No, he was like a real colonel Not like you, he was real I hate when people do that shit I know You're doing some bullshit right there It diminishes your stature It does During childhood, Brandy Pat learned how to manipulate people using her beauty and charm Her mother admitted that Pat was so pretty When she was a little girl that she just couldn't whip her She said, I couldn't scold her She was just too pretty There ain't never been a woman too pretty I couldn't whip him Come here, come here, bro There's a little child now, though I'm talking about grown women Right, right Talking about someone who's But you know what?
There's something See, there's something about kids My little nephew, Jackson He's a damn lunatic But no matter what the kid does He's so damn cute He can't do anything to him Well, that's the way it was with Pat If you look at her picture, though I don't think you would feel that way now But, you know, she is 80 She's 80 years old Depends on how much you had to drink, I suppose Pat, her aunt and her father Remember, you know They felt a discipline for her as a child There was a darker side to Pat Even though she was charming There was a darker side to her, Brandy If she didn't get her way She would throw a tantrum, Brandy Get out of here I don't know any kids that do that If that didn't work She manipulated the situation to get her way Well, kids are sociopaths I don't know why people don't understand that They don't She learned how to charm both men and women, Colonel Especially if they had something that she wanted That's how you get things It's either charm or more Randy, you'll be honest with this Pat was obsessed with the movie Gone with the Wind You've seen that, of course, I hope I have, I've seen that I don't know how I've seen Gone with the Wind dozens of times I've seen Gone with the Wind dozens of times That's not as my witness I thought turkeys could fly Well, she dreamed of living the life of Scarlett O'Hara, Brandy It was kind of her life Kind of sucked during awards I don't know if you want to know that But she dreamed of, you know, living in a plantation But she was getting some for Red Butler Right Pat had a younger brother named Kent, Brandy And she loved to bully and tease without mercy Everybody loves to bully and tease their younger sibling Probably not like what you did to Casey No, not like that at all While her brother Kent was sleeping, Brandy Pat would put a dress on him And make up on him And then try to convince their father that Kent was a sissy How deep did this kid sleep? Did he have a sissy roofie in his ass? Kids can, you know, they go until they get They pass out all the time, so She was known to pour Why not this, Brandy? You ever do this?
She was known to pour motor oil on his pancakes And tell him it was syrup What the fuck? You did that, Casey? You were doing that, Casey? No This led to at least two emergency room visits That's not fun I mean, if you ain't got no bet How many of the fucking pancakes did he eat?
That kind of seems like Darwinism It does Like the first bite I've seen Why was this young little boy? How would he know? It tastes like hell Unless motor oil tastes good How much motor oil tastes like? When her parents confronted Pat about her behavior Don't look at me Nancy would start crying And claim that no one loved her, Brandy There you go This usually resulted in her parents apologizing to Pat And buying her a new dress Sure Clearly Which she would then put on her little brother Pour him some syrup Yeah Put some motor oil in his bottle And then like a little WD-40 on his pancakes Once she locked Kent out of the house all night And he was forced to sleep in the backyard Did her parents not notice?
Oh, big deal How many times When her parents would have her babysit for Kent That's a good movie right there You know Kent was like Oh, please, motherfucker Make this a short movie I hope it ain't a long one She would often beat him mercilessly with her father's belt What the fuck kind of psycho was this? She threatened to kill Kent If he told her parents about the abuse Kent grew up in fear of his stepsister, Brandy As a result of this abuse They had a close relationship Kent started to act out emotionally, Brandy I guess And his stepsister, Pat Encouraged her parents to have young Kent Committed to the mental institution Which they would eventually do So they listen to Pat Yes As a result of the abuse This is that As a result of the abuse Kent would spend most of his life Inside of mental health facilities He would eventually kill himself In his early twenties Oh, now see Now I feel bad for laughing about that You should That shit That ain't shit Kent, let me put you on here I'm sorry that you got beat without mercy But you did not grow up with my older brother So whatever you went through Wasn't what I went through Now, Brandy, you know something about good grades Pat got good grades in school But is believed that much of her academic achievements Were due to her ability to charm her teachers, Brandy For example Her biology teacher gave her straight A's Even though she rarely attended class When she did attend She made sure to sit in the front row And wear a skirt without panties So that her teacher, Mr. Bankhead Could get a good view of her womanhood, girl Well, you know The old beaver shot, girl Her nether notties Pat would often skip class And hang out with other mean girls at school Didn't he ever get hit by a bus? Once she was caught smoking cigarettes In the girls' room, Brandy Girls' restroom But the assistant principal refused to punch her When she started crying And hiding her face in his chest So she's manipulating people Does this sound like The first five chapters Of anybody's autobiography That you might have read?
I have no comment on that Is Pat a pseudonym For somebody else that we know, Timmy? Now, when you was in the economics class, though When you were back there Flashing the beaver shots Was you in the back row Or would you go in the front row? Shut up No, because I mean Would it get the professor's attention more If you were alone in that back row And doing your gymnastics Trying to get his attention? Or did you just sit in the front row And plop a leg over your chest I have grown weary of this conversation It's detailed Can you move on?
Tim, we have listeners in college Who are trying to get good grades You know, like Jason Dice Or whoever that's in school I think he's a librarian I think he's a Don't do this at the library, Jason It freaks people out I'm sorry, Jason To bring you into this conversation Brandy is right And then we need to move on From this conversation Because people get upset When we talk about her Look where it got me Yeah, you know all those nights You stayed up studying late I know It's a bit here I could have been partying I could have been doing anything Just end up with me and Chuck Podcasting Her life ebbs away You know who hates us right now? About everyone Erica Kelly from Southern Frag Oh yeah, she wants us to Pour that Please retract that All right So Pat became pregnant Brandy in 1952 Oh goodness You could get pregnant for God She was only 15 Oh, that's not good Her husband She got married to her husband When she became pregnant He was 26 He was a young army sergeant And Pat embarked on a military life So, well, her husband Had a military life But she was used to that She grew up an army brat And so she marries this army sergeant Named Gil Taylor And she soon had three children Susan, Debbie, and Ronnie But she discovered That she didn't want all the hard work To do all the hard work That's involved with the ending Mother Brandy Well, nobody does And the lifestyle in the military Wasn't her dreams She wanted to have a fine home And raise horses So she wanted basically You know, the life of Scarlett O'Hara Right? So she did what she always did She appealed to her parents for help And soon enough Pat was living near her parents Having her mother help out With the children And Gil was off On his deployments alone So she moved Parents bought her house She moved in a house A little farm She had horses Everything she wanted Her marriage, however Started falling apart And her and Gil divorced In 1971 In 1973 Pat met a guy named Tom Allison A tall, strong, handsome man Brandy You've dated a few of those In your time I married one She's looking at one right now David is a very strong Ron Swanson He was the son of a wealthy lawyer Who was just as passionately Interested in horses As was Pat He was six years younger than Pat Although she had an eye On someone else It looked like Tom Could give her everything She ever wanted She married a rich lawyer She's already looking At somebody else Was he a rich lawyer Or his father was a rich lawyer His father was a rich lawyer But he was a man of memes He was a man of nature Unfortunately, Tom was married At the time And he was in the process Of an ugly divorce From a woman known as Little Carolyn Little Carolyn His mom was Big Carolyn I bet And his wife was Little Carolyn Now this is important That gets creepy Now, wait a minute His mother was Big Carolyn Yes, there are two Carolins In his house And there's Big Carolyn Which is his mother And Little Carolyn Which is his wife Yeah, who he's going Through a divorce with So when he's screaming out Oh Carolyn, oh Carolyn, oh Carolyn Oh Carolyn Oh Little Carolyn We've got in our family Roselle, my Aunt Roselle And then niece, Little Roselle So we've got Big Roselle And Little Roselle It may be her age But it does sound kind of I don't like it Do you call one of them Rosie? I don't like it Do you call one of them Rosie?
One of them I don't speak to Oh, well then you don't have that conflict She's a woman who Number one, I've cut out of my life Because I just found her morals And her ethics to be unacceptable We found her morals Who will not You know, they say Things will happen to good people This is a woman Bad things happen to good people Enough bad shit Couldn't happen to her And this is what happened 75 years old She's walking And she should never be near a church anyway Slips on the ice Falls down three steps Lays in a fucking churchyard For six hours before anybody finds her 75 years old And a bitch don't die If the bitch don't die after that You can't kill her You can't kill her Okay She tried to call you, didn't she? She didn't I didn't answer With the voicemail No, that's a true story Six hours she lay In the cold Now it's cold enough To have ice on the steps And she fell down 75 years old How are you going to kill her? It slowed down her circulation I'm sorry you heard about that, Connell No, I wasn't sorry The only thing I was sorry about Was it wasn't calling me up Telling me when the arrangements Was going that I wasn't Going to go through anyway She's surrounded by her family Family and friends Alright, so We have Tom We have his mother Big Carolyn We have his Soon to be ex-wife Little Carolyn And then we've got Pat In the picture now So Tom's going through An ugly divorce with little Carolyn And Tom was not the sharpest Pencil in the box, Randy Which suited Pat's So Pat was okay with that Because she couldn't manipulate him She convinced Tom That Carolyn was trying to kill him They were trying to kill them both And so he And little Carolyn So he ended up taking A restraining order out On little Carolyn Was she trying to kill them? No, no Pat just made it up Although always The attention seeker, Randy Pat liked to tell Tom Bizarre stories about her life She claimed she had been raped Several times Although there was no evidence To support this assertion Now and then Again she would see a man Walking down the street And for no particular reason Say to Tom Hey, that man raped me That's a dangerous shit To get into On several occasions Tom confronted the men And at least twice He was arrested for assault Defending Pat's honor And I'll put that in quotes Well, he was a man of the south He was a distinguished man of the south He wasn't the sharpest Pencil woman No, pencil box He wasn't the sharpest Hatchet in the back Of somebody's skull Yes Wow After each confrontation Pat would finally relent And admit she had Misidentified the men As her rapist However Are these dark chocolate Reese's cups?
Uh-huh Oh shit We're living large up in here You know that's right However, the biggest problem For Pat was Tom's parents Walter and Big Caroline Allison Big Caroline They didn't approve of divorce And they certainly didn't approve Of Little Miss Pat They were gravely disappointed In Tom And viewed divorce As not even being an option So Big Caroline Does not like divorce She does not So they sided with Little Caroline Okay And the relationship Between Tom and his family Deteriorated Well, they probably confused Bringing a pat into the picture Well, there were accusations Flying between both sides Along with some pretty dreadful threats In early 1974 Life started to look up For Tom and Pat Great They purchased a heavily mortgaged 52-acre farm In Zebulion, Georgia Nice That they named Tara After the plantation Had gone with the wind Alright, so she's living her dream And they started their dream Of raising and showing horses together Now, Clyde Barb Doesn't she have a kid somewhere? Yeah, she has three Yeah, but they're not mentioned here Yeah Alright So, first of all They're not Mother of the year Yeah Alright In May of 1974 They were married In a Gone with the wind style ceremony Tom was dressed as Rhett Butler and Pat As Scarlett O'Hara Now, wouldn't you like it in there, Brady? I would have loved it Probably have been two-ups Do you understand that Had I had fucking money I would have totally had An outdoor garden wedding Where everybody had to wear hats and shit I'd totally done that We did actually have an outdoor wedding Outdoor garden wedding Nobody had to wear hats We didn't require that Okay, well then Your thing doesn't relate at all So shut up I do not wear hats I know you don't You wouldn't have been there I would have wear baseball Well, you wouldn't have been there Why would you think We would come to your fourth wedding? When she marries Lanny When you marry Lanny It's the Justice of the Peace You're talking shit now But when you're down It's the Justice of the Peace And you need a witness You think I would tell Either one of you fuckers If I got married again?
I would come, Randy I would go to your wedding I'm not wearing a fucking hat Well, then you're not coming, I guess Wait a minute, what's more important? Having me at your wedding Or having me wear a hat at your wedding? Wear a hat? Why do I have to wear a wrist cap?
Because you know what? I got uncles and brothers That'll piss and moan and whine What the fuck do I need one more for? You wear a goddamn hat You wear a top hat And you like it I would even let you wear One of those Newsboy Kenga hats Backwards But you're wearing a fucking hat I'm wearing a top hat And a goddamn monocle I would wear a strong hat And I will walk you down the aisle With the courthouse Negative, you will not ever do that I will give you away I will give you away To the highest bidder It's going to be like eBay Up in that courthouse Lanny has acne No, on his back She's got acne on his back He got his face look like, my brother once told me his face, he said this about me. Wait a minute, we're insulting more people, so give him a second.
I had chicken pox, and I got some scars on my face from other stuff. Is that your excuse? Yeah, my brother told me one time, it looked like my face got on fire, and somebody tried to put it out with a pitchfork. So that's probably what Lanny got to look like.
Okay. I've seen him with, like, greasy hair. Yeah, but kind of like, what I'm seeing is a little bit taller version of Squiggy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, like Lenny.
Like Lenny. Yeah, I like Lenny. Lone Wolf. Yeah, Lone Wolf.
And, uh, yeah, but only one working hard. Then maybe you should hush, and let me talk about Pat and Tom. All right, Pat and Tom, and big Carolyn, little Carolyn. The couple became very active in local society, and even visited, uh, and even were visited by then-Georgia Governor Jimmy Carter.
Okay, so they, they had some. It appeared, it wasn't just peanuts, no. It appeared that things were going to work out, but the feud between Tom and his father over Pat escalated to the point that his father angrily tried to force Tom out of his life. Oh.
To get even, Pat filed a complaint of sexual harassment against Tom's father, claiming, claiming that he had exposed himself to her. That wasn't me. Don't look at me. Don't look at me.
Tom, girl armed over this. Well, yeah. Along with the threats that he had. So wait, so wait, so wait, just back a minute.
So Tom's, uh, dad, or no, Pat. Pat filed a restraining order against Tom's dad. Claiming sexual arrest. Claiming he whipped his willy out.
Oh, okay. Tom was? Yes. I don't remember.
Okay, and here's the thing about this whole thing, and I know before. No, no, no. About the whole Louis C.K. thing, that's actually a good thing.
No, no, no. Because it's making people aware that that is not an appropriate thing to do. That's perfect. Now shut up about it.
Yeah, that's not appropriate. No, I just think that it's good. He's not going to shut up about it. That people know that that's not appropriate.
Even though this is my time, and even though he's the one that's got to come in on when he needs to leave. No, it is not appropriate. It's not appropriate. So we apologize to any of our listeners who have been in a hotel room with Louis C.K.
That's what I'm saying. Yeah, you know, you guys have fucking sense. I mean, did it ever, I mean, that may occur to you, but what, I mean, I just don't get what occurs to guys that it's okay to do shit like that. You know, though, here's the thing, and not to joke about it, we don't know how many times it worked.
That's what I mean. You know, if people are coming forward, there's probably 10 times when people don't. Yeah, it might work sometime. I don't know.
It's not something that I've got to try. I don't know. Who does that? No, when, really, people can say, you know, if they want to go back, and, you know, I'm a firm believer that if your whole life was recorded, you know, nobody would ever hang around with you.
But, I mean, just dropping to your knees and begging is so much easier, and so much more dignified. I just can't imagine. I mean, it's just, you know, it's disgusting. Go ahead, Randy.
Can I? But it's wrong. It is wrong. I'm not making fun of it or lying of it.
It's disgusting. Go ahead, Randy. Jeez. All right.
So, Pat files her complaint against Tom's father-in-law, or Tom's father. Tom grew alarmed over this, along with the threats that he had heard that his father was going to kill him. So, he took out a restraining order, also against Tom Sr. Seems like Christmas would be fucked up at that house.
Yeah. Be a little tense, because you wouldn't be, like, shaking the box. I think killing your mother-in-law, Big Carolyn, probably. Yeah, that's a start.
Hold on. It gets better. His father, on the other hand, believed that his own son was out to kill him. Somebody had stolen a pistol and a rifle from his home, and he was convinced that it was his son.
Police searched Tom's home and came up empty-handed. The intense fear and anger continued to grow on both sides. With no communication taking place, it was the perfect setup for a manipulative psychopath who wanted to get everything for herself. That would be Pat.
You would think. On July 29th, 1974, while taking a trip in their car, Walter and his wife, Big Caroline, were shot at by someone. They survived the inexplicable attack and felt sure that Tom had been behind it. The situation between father and son grew more paranoid until August 3rd.
On that day, Tom dropped Pat off at the doctor and then walked over to see his mother when he was sure his father would not be home. Pat had told someone that he had been calling their house all night long and said nothing. Is that her? Yeah.
I just showed her a colonel picture of this. That's Pat? Yeah. You know, every time I hear Pat, now, can we put that picture up, because I think of a character from Saturday Night Live, because she's definitely hanging eight right there.
That woman has already grown a penis. And you know what? And I am so deeply... You know what, Timmy?
What? It reminds me. God damn it. I missed something.
Do you have another apology? Well, it's broads with penises, Timmy. Okay. You're apologizing?
To the broads out there with penises. Well, first of all, you might not want to call them broads. Do not ever ask me for a Reese's Cup again. In the curse of time, it's not their fault.
She was young. Oh, yeah, but she didn't turn it. Time was not kind to her. A lot of it was in prison.
All right, Brady, please continue. I'm sorry, I just missed one. I missed somebody on the thing. So.
I bang her. I do her. He's got a rifle and a pistol. So basically, she's in his hand.
Yeah. She's creating all this. So he heads over. So he's heading over to Mom and Dad's house when he's pretty sure that Dad's not home to talk to B.C.
Big Carolyn. Otherwise, he thought his father might try to shoot him off his horse in the parade that weekend. Well, that happens. You know what?
That's the only reason I go to parades. So there was a parade. He was going to be riding one of their show horses, and he was afraid his dad was going to play. It's like people are watching NASCAR races for the wrecks.
I only watch the parades to see somebody get shot off a horse. Here we go. Are you ready? Yeah.
So B.C.'s not home. All right. But Carolyn's not home. Thank you.
Continue. That means she's not on the premises. That's correct. He's not doing the wrap-up that he used to do.
He's fucking interpreting exactly what he's fucking saying. Continue, man. B.C.'s not home, but Tom felt that she would be returning shortly. So to avoid the possibility of running into Walter, he went to the basement to wait for his mother to return.
In the meantime, Walter received a call from an anonymous woman claiming that Tom had been seen entering the basement of his parents' house. I got an idea who that was, but. Walter rushed home and went straight to the basement where he called for Tom to come out and face him. All right.
So now there's a confrontation between Dad and Tom. Oh, here we go. The electricity was off, so he went into the basement to look around. He found the switch box had been tampered with.
He attempted to call the police, but the line had been cut. Cut the line on the phone. Sounded like a Friday the 13th movie. He went to a neighbor's home to use the phone to get the police out there.
When they arrived, Walter said he had taken care of the situation himself, so they left. So as people are wont to do, he returned to the basement and just started shooting randomly. This is his dad? Yes.
Oh, yeah. He was scared of a burglar, just popped off a couple shots. B.C.'s home by this time. He called up to her that he had Tom cornered and needed a gun he'd just purchased.
Give me a gun, honey, so I can kill her son. So she grabbed it to bring it to him. When the police officers arrived, once again in response to an emergency call, they found Carolyn Allison sitting upright on the basement steps, shot dead. Oh.
Not funny. Through the basement window, they could see Walter lying on the ground. He'd been shot numerous times. It was later determined that there were 20 separate entrance wounds.
Oh, shit. That's personal. The police immediately suspected Tom. He'd been seen there, and a man matching his description had been seen running from the crime scene.
Tom was soon arrested. When Pat told a number of lies to the attorney in an alleged attempt to provide Tom with an alibi, the situation became even more suspicious. Yeah, see, I don't think she has his best interest at all. Tom had his own story, which was a lie, and it didn't match with Pat's story.
Tom was convicted and sentenced to life in prison for the murder of his parents. At the time of the murders, he and Pat had been married less than two months, and now Pat had the farm to herself. It wasn't long before she tried to talk Tom into a suicide pact, which she later felt sure was an attempt to get him to die so she would have carried everything. You go first.
You go first. Tom's a sharp one. Pat began to work on Tom's wealthy grandparents until they finally named her in their will as primary beneficiary. Yeah, poor Tom's an orphan now.
When Walter, well, you know. Just cut him a break. When Walter and Carolyn, with Walter and Carolyn gone and their grandson in prison, the elder Allison's, Nona and Peppal, were a prime target for a gold-digging murderer. Gold-digging whore.
Doing her best southern... Now, wouldn't you think, if your kids were killed by your grandson, would you really embrace your granddaughter, or your step-granddaughter? I don't know, dude. I'm about to peck her hair away from that as it is, so let's just...
You can relate. Yeah, just one day at a time, man. All right. Doing her best southern belle hostess act, Pat moved the elderly couple into her home and insisted that she be their sole caretaker.
You can be able to do this. In declining health. She was taking care of him. Solely.
That means by herself. Okay. Thank you, Webster. In declining health, and with no other family nearby to help them, the couple was thankful for Pat's wonderful generosity.
Yeah, she's an angel. Didn't she, though? Yeah. She's a sweetie.
What happens next, there, Colonel? Tell us what happens. Well, it gets really tricky here. Brandon, you've got to admit, this story has you on the edge of your seat.
I'm on the edge. It gets really, really interesting here, Timmy. What happens next? Well, soon...
I'll be a first. I'm waiting. That blind squirrel comes upon an acorn now and again. Now, soon Pat, she had convinced Allinson that she and Tom, now, despite his status as a prison inmate, should be the sole heir of their state to the couple.
So we didn't go through with suicide, Pat. He did not. But the couple updated their wills, in which they disinherited their daughter, Jean Boggs. Okay, they had another daughter.
Tom's sister. Yes. So Tom's in prison, you know, getting banged in a rear end. Tom didn't have another sister.
Well, Jean Boggs is minding own business out here. They disinherited... Jean was... Disinherited.
...the grandparents' girl. Yeah, yeah. So it wasn't Tom's. It was...
Oh, right, right. It was Tom's. It was Walter. Walter's.
It was Walter's sister. Yes. Yeah, now, Nona... Or B.C., yeah.
Nona's moving in with Pat here, okay? Oh, poor Nona. And her health, because of the motor oil pancakes, started to deteriorate rapidly. She didn't sit there for some time anyway, huh?
I like a pancake. Just don't just syrup. Please. But she'd never been bedridden during her stay at Terra.
Now, Papaw was just heartbroken, Timmy. His health, of course, was deteriorating, too. And his wife was in pro health for like four weeks or something. Yeah, they didn't have no Cialis back then.
So in a short time, he lost a son and daughter and all. Let's say there's old people in the nursing homes really bang a lot. Oh, man, there's chlamydia spreading like wildfire in there. Your thoughts about that, Brandy?
See you landing one day. I mean, they got gonorrhea spreading like past eyes in class. I mean, they really, really should not. Old people should not be fucking as much.
No, they should. Really, Timmy? I would be very careful. I'd be very careful about things like that.
The only thing you don't want to walk in is see a saggy, old, white, flat ass moving like three inches up and down. Your thoughts about that, Brandy? My thoughts are both of you need to be very careful. That ain't some shit I want to see.
Both of you need to be very careful. Well, and women trade out. Like, you give me the green jello, baby. I'll get up later on.
Nobody is worn out for green jello. You don't know that. You don't know that in a nursing home. It's like cigarettes in prison.
Jello in a nursing home is like cigarettes in prison. Yeah, I get that jello in there. Jello. Yeah.
Every once in a while, you get some tapioca up in there. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Jello in OxyContinence.
Those whole women will do some crazy-ass shit for some jello. For some tapioca, I mean. Tapioca's already good. Oh, it ain't easy to come back to me.
You got that right. So, and that's what you want. Especially on the inside. That's what I mean up in the nursing home.
So, anyway, now, papal's hard broking. You knew shit from apple butter. It would be fucking amazing. Can you just read the goddamn script?
You know, just play your little week gathering game. Bob Ross over there has been painting a picture, and you just shit on it. No. I believe that I brought this story to life.
No, you believe so, but you would be wrong. No. Asterisk is one of our better stories. I'm just saying.
Okay, so let me get back to the story here. What was I thinking? Now, papal's heartbroken, right? All right.
He's in poor health. The old lady's in poor health. And he lost his son and a daughter-in-law and his grandson sitting in prison. So now his daughter's angry and not speaking with him, other than to break pat, the one person who seemed to care about something more than his money.
Yeah, Gene knew what was going on. Oh, yeah, she was slipping him some tapioca on the side there, Timmy. Now, Gene, however, finally broke through, Timmy. Okay.
After notifying the authorities of her suspicions, followed by tests, which showed Nona and papal both had arsenic in their systems. Your comments on that, Randy. As long as there wasn't old lace. And surprise testimony from Pat's daughter, Susan, claiming she saw her mother put arsenic in old people's food and drink.