Dealing with Hurts From the Past // It's Time to Get Over It, Part 3

Sticks and stones will break my bones but names will never hurt me. Not much.  In fact the things people say can leave lifelong scars. People say – just get over it?  But can we? "Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me." So the saying goes. But in fact, nothing could be further from the truth. When people call us names. When they hurt us. Or reject us. Or abuse us. Or talk behind our backs. Those things can really hurt us. And for many people, they carry those old injuries around with them. Often not really knowing it. And it robs them of the life that God always intended. If your Dad didn't encourage you, chances are you'll have low self esteem. If you were abused as a child, chances are you'll feel like a victim for much of your life. So is it possible to be set free from the hurts of the past? There's something really important that we need to know about the past. It's past. It's gone. There are lots of things out of our control. The past is one of the biggest ones of all. Doesn't matter what we do. How much we wish we could change it. How much we try. What's done is done. We can't change the past. We can only change from hereon forward. Well why is this so important? I mean it's blindingly, glimpsingly obvious. Yet so many people live in the past. They live today constrained by the hurts of yesterday. "I didn't have a happy childhood. I was abused. I was hurt. The kids at school weren't nice to me. The teacher …" I mean, recently I was overseas with my wife. We were in Canada and we were talking with our daughter who was staying with a friend for the couple of weeks while we were gone. Our daughter Melissa is 14. And there was one particular teacher who said something really hurtful to her. And so, of course, I rang the principal and I talked to the principal and dealt with it. But just one harsh word from an adult when we're growing up as teenagers, just one, can leave a mental scar. It can happen from parents. It happened to me when I was growing up. It's just the way I am. And we look back and we lament. We wish it was different but it's not. And we turn it over and over in our mind. Like a cow chewing its cud. Here's this crazy idea that I have. When Jesus died on the cross for me, He purchased for me a new future. If anyone believes in Him, they are a new creation. Everything old is passed away. Have a look. Everything else is new. And Jesus said, If I set you free then you are actually free. (John 8:36) You listen to the apostle Paul: We are more than conquerors if we believe in Jesus. I can do anything through Christ Jesus who strengthens me. Okay, so there are some words on a page in a book called The Bible, that tell us some things but what do they really mean for life? Well, here's the crunch. And if you are someone who is struggling with the hurts of the past you may not like what I have to say. But I have to say it to you anyway. Here is the crunch. You can live your life with the hurts of the past and believe that you can't change it. Or you can decide to believe what God says about you. You've got a choice. I often joke. I mean I would not make a good counsellor, you know. It's not my gift to sit with people. One of the people who helps me on this program, Max Harding, who is a great guy and as well as being a fantastic producer, he also works in a counselling ministry. And he has a wonderful job at that but that is not what I do. And I often joke that my form of counselling is to listen to people for 30 seconds then say, 'that is great, just get over it'. In a sense that doesn't help. And of course when we have issues and hurts and problems from the past we do have to bring them out and talk about them and deal with them. But some people talk about them and talk about them and talk about them and talk about them for the rest of their lives. They whinge and complain about some bad things that happened to them when they were children. Even people, let me say, who have said, "look I've seen what God did for me through Jesus Christ. I believe in Him." And yet somehow, these same people still want to live in the hurts of the past. The past is past. It's over. It's gone. Can't change it. Can't undo it. Can only come to grips with it and leave it behind. If it's past, shouldn't we leave it behind? Do you have some hurts? Let me ask you really kindly but yet very directly, are you still wallowing in those hurts? If that's you, I have a word from God for you today. And that word is this: get over it! It is time to move on. I don't say that lightly, I don't say that with a smile on my face. It is time to move on. Let it go. Jesus bought you and me an eternal future. And it doesn't matter where you go in the Old Testament or the New Testament, what you see is a God who wants to bless us. Now, a lot of Christians in the New Testament went through a whole bunch of persecution, and you could say that they were victims in a sense. But when you look at Paul, locked up in jail, singing and praising God, writing letters of encouragement to his friends in Philippi, you think, I don't think Paul was really a victim here. Would he have preferred to be doing something else? Probably, Paul would probably have rather not been in jail. But there was no way that the Apostle Paul was living his life as a victim. He'd come to grips with what was happening to him very, very quickly. And quickly he got over it. When we have hurts from the past sometimes it's time to take the garbage out and let it go. If the past is past maybe we need to get over it! If Jesus bought us a future. Of course the devil, well he's happy for us to live wallowing in the pains of the past. He's only come to steal, kill and destroy. But Jesus said I have come that you would have an abundantly blessed life. (John 10:10) So which one will it be? Will we continue to wallow in the pain and the hurts of the past or will we decide to believe what God says about us and get over it? But hang on Berni, you don't understand my past. You don't understand how much it hurts, you just don't understand. Well maybe I don't, but here are the things that I do understand. You are an incredibly beautiful person in God's eyes. And when he sent Jesus to die, he had you in mind. He had me in mind. He had his love focused on us. And maybe some tough things have happened in our lives, but listen, show me just one person, just one person, who's had a perfect life. Without any hurts, without any disappointments, without anything to look back on and regret. I don't know anyone like that do you? Now look at this Jesus on the cross. The price that he paid to purchase a future for you and me, and tell me that there is something to be gained by hanging on to the past that he dealt with on the cross for us. Today I believe you and I are together for one reason, Jesus has an invitation for you to live this abundant life. We all have decisions to make, and today I challenge you to make a decision. Either choose to wallow in the past and let it rob you of your future, or choose to accept once and for all the abundant blessed life that He came to give us. The decision is yours. Which one will it be? And if you're tempted to hang on to those past hurts, if they're hard to let go, give me just one good reason for you to hang on to them. I believe we've each been made to live an incredible life. Maybe today you can take that simple step of faith, and say that's exactly what I'm going to do.